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Nestling

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Posts posted by Nestling

    Any SFer's You Want To Be Friends With But Aren't?

    in General

    Posted

    There's no real specific members that I really want to be like "BE MY FRIEEEENNDDDD"

    But if you're defining friend as "someone who talk to you and knows you", then it'd be cool to have at least one. I have people that I know on here, but really with osu!, I have friends that I'll talk to on a daily basis about the randomest crap, hence why I got there a lot, even though I don't play the game anymore. With here, though, I only come on here when I'm not in the mood to post my depressing crap on Facebook or if I want to post something stupid. There's not really "that member" that I come onto to see on a daily basis.

    But if you're asking for specifics, probably Hika. Anybody would be fine, though.

    So I'm legit scared.

    in General

    Posted

    I seriously considered your response, though. I thought about it, thought about how it would affect the entire family, and decided that it wouldn't be the best solution for this problem. I apologize for maybe seeming too "nope.avi" at the problem, but re-reading the initial post, I gave some sort of explanation, saying that the issues were mostly with certain individuals of the family, rather then the full family, so imo, it would be silly to take time from everyone's life to sit and learn how to deal with problems they aren't even involved in. If the explanation I gave wasn't sufficient, I guess we could talk about it in here seeing that its relevant. I apologize for any assholery I may have dictated from my post, but I would like to assure that it was nowhere in my intentions to simply dismiss your idea. I've read every single one of these posts and thought about them in great detail, and I feel that certain things are more effective then others in dealing with situations with getting as little external conflicts occuring as possible.

    It it makes me seem less like a douchebag, though, I did get inspired to pursue individual counseling thanks to your post .-..

    So. . . sorry for being an unintentional dick.

    So I'm legit scared.

    in General

    Posted

    ok

    To tell you the truth, I'm seriously pissed the hell off right now. My decision to make my own choice about how I'd like to deal with a situation with the advice given doesn't giver her the right to tell me that my damned life problems are lies or not serious. I appreciate your advice, and I thought about your suggestion, but I felt that it would not be beneficial for the family if we got involved in FULL family counseling (Which is what I'm assuming you're saying). Individual counseling, both for me AND my brother, might be helpful though. Still. . .

    So I'm legit scared.

    in General

    Posted

    You are 16, and are asking for advice over the Internet. I gave you what I thought was the best advice, and you decide that, FYPOV, you don't need it. This is why I don't take you seriously.

    <_<.

    Fine, I'll go get my family involved in family counseling then.

    So I'm legit scared.

    in General

    Posted

    Final update.

    He got denied from the other two schools he applied to. So he's pretty much going to spend the next season (depending on what he can do for the fall) living as a professional bum.

    I. . . might have gotten a reaction. He seems fine with it, really (even when my mom asked him "Are you worried?" he's like "nope"), but I read some creepy as hell crap on the Word document he left open (although considering the formatting, it might just be for school or something .-.)

    Our family doesn't need family counseling. For the most part, we're all a happy family except for me, having broken relationships with 2 people, an annoyance at 1 person, and a worryful attutide towards the final. My parents don't really have anything bad going on them, except that my dad's an asshole.

    I'm trying to go through the advice and letting him be. . . I won't talk to him about it until later, though, because he's still touchy as hell when it comes to talking about anything related to college (For instance, I told him that one of the schools sent out acceptance letters. He just said ok at every chance he could and ignored me.).

    B-B-But thanks for all of the advice :>

    So I'm legit scared.

    in General

    Posted

    Dammit Magnus that sounds like a fantastic idea.

    The only thing is that his friends have the same mindset that he does about me (aka. that they're all very anti-emotion and they think I'm retarded), though I do see now that maybe forcing him into doing stuff might be bad for him :<. As much as I'd love for him to go straight into college after high school, maybe it's just not how he wants to run his life.

    Also, about the gf. . .

    I haven't asked her out yet. Plenty of factors why not, like me being too scared to do it, me having no examples to go off of, me not thinking that she likes me back, racial and religious differences, etc etc.

    and I'm still trying to figure out what kind of stuff you want me to do with her :>

    B-B-But this topic isn't about me!~. Knowing how whiny I am, you'll probably find some long thread about my love life sometime in the near future~.

    So I'm legit scared.

    in General

    Posted

    My family actually isn't very religious. My mother and I are the only people who have any sort of commitment to God anymore, and most of my commitment has been self-brought.

    I'm saying that I fap too much mostly because I'm scared that with my constant desire for bigger and better things to fap to, I'll eventually run out of ways to please myself with my hand, and I'll eventually start spending thousands of dollars on fleshlights and sex dolls. When those fail to please me, I'll eventually be drawn to rape. The person I want to marry doesn't want to have children, so I can't just go "OH YEAH I HAVE MY WIFE", because that's not happening any time soon. Many people say that they could imagine me as a pedophile because of my facial features, which scares me more then anything else. . .

    @fuzz: On school days, I'll fap about once or twice a day, depending on how busy I am and what time I get home. On weekends and non-school days, I'll fap about 3-4 times a day. My record is about 5-6 times in one day :<. It seems a bit excessive to me o-o.

    So I'm legit scared.

    in General

    Posted

    Allright, just starting this off.

    I'm low-key pissed that some of you find this to be a joke. Yes, I have a sister who I incredibly dislike, yes she has her problems, and yes, I have an older brother who I care about very much, because unlike my sister, I know that he has the potential to achieve great things. If someone could explain the damned joke to me, maybe I'd understand and not be so pissed or something.

    You remind me of the saying "Do your best, let God do the rest". It's kind of my life policy these days haha.

    I'm really sorry you have to go through all of this. That sounds like a lot of pressure and stress. Just curious, have you tried having a man-to-man talk with your brother about all of this? Even though you feel that he may not listen to you, have you at least given it a shot? I mean you're his older brother. I'm the oldest in my family, and I know my brothers - when it comes to a man-to-man talk - take my advice to heart.

    I might not have made this clear, but he's my older brother, actually :>. I'm a junior in high school, and he's a senior in high school. He generally doesn't listen to what I say because he find me to be an idiot or something for not being in as many AP classes as he is.

    I stopped reading about halfway in. To be honest, your brother sounds a lot like me. Have you ever considered that maybe your brother is depressed, whether just a case of the mild blues, or literal clinical depression? I feel the same way for just... so mcuh shit. I don't really care about college, I'm not a genius but I'm smart, yet I feel socially awkward so it's not fun for me to make friends. I'd rather just sit on the internet everyday, talking to people about nothing in particular, waiting for my death to come someday. The way I see it, no matter what I do, where I go, who I meet, what I say, or who I say it to, I'm going to die just like you and everyone else on this forum. It' not that I'm joyless, I just don't particularly care about anything.

    Oh, but I'm an atheist, that's probably it. Maybe ignore me.

    It doesn't really seem to be depression. I've been battling with depression ever since my middle school career, so I know what it looks like. He's not neccesarily closed out to the world, and isn't neccesarily sad or anything, it's just that his priorities are all jacked up and crap. He'd rather spend more time playing LoL rather then making something of himself :>.

    Many people feel this way, it's not specifically something connected to being depressed or other likenesses (obviously this doesn't mean to rule it out however). I'm part of this same chipper, underwhelming drag myself.

    I can't actually take the original post seriously for some reason, but to at least humour the possibility of it being a real serious post, it sounds like you've said everything you feel but nothing that he feels. We get how you perceive the situation--do you understand how he perceives it? You haven't said anything about him that isn't somehow tainted by your presence, and thus, your concern seemingly appears to be for your own concern, not for his well-being. That's not really caring at all. It's fine to be scared for someone--but it almost sounds like you're scared because of him. That's not really caring at all.

    Such a minute portion of people literally do nothing in their apathy--most become "apathetic" for a reason, and the act itself isn't one of lack but one of almost defensive position. It's a response, a reaction--maybe you should talk with him and feel what it is he's responding against, if you still find yourself wanting to intervene.

    I couldn't post anything about how he feels because he feels nothing. For our entire life, I've always been the emotional one, who has spent time crying, who has spent time screaming, and who has spent time having actual emotions other then "existing". My brother really does not feel or show fear. He doesn't care that he didn't get accepted into his schools. If something bad happens, he'll just blow it off as "oh, that's just a mistake, I'll do better next time." Throughout our life, he's always been the quiet one who we'd probably never knew existed had he not been the oldest son and the only son that my parents liked.

    I'm not going to lie, I'm scared because of him to a certain extent. I'm scared that my life will be hindered because I have to push along a mentally disabled person and a motivationally disabled person around my life while (hopefully) living with Nicole, who already has all of her medical stuff to deal with.

    But I'm scared for him, also. The big thing this week has been "yolo" (aka. You Only Live Once), and although I find it silly, it definatley applies to him. I see him as gifted and talented and having the right mindset to tackle any problem placed onto him (granted he has the right motivation). With all of my friends going into college this year, I care about them and hope they do well, and that feeling will just double when me and my friends from my grade go into college. I always advise people out of just going to community college because I know that every person that I know has the potential to do greater things then just dick around at home for their entire life. It's more intense for my brother because I care about him so much, but it's hard to care when I'm caring about his future more then he does :<.

    He's always been apathetic, so I haven't been able to tell if its just him being normal or if there's some issue going on in his life. He has a complete and dire hatred for people who don't take AP classes (It's really weird. He won't talk to you if you aren't an AP student, unless you play LoL or whatever game he's into o-o). So he secludes himself to be with "like-minded" people I guess o-o.

    I don't know if what I'll say is going to help you, but I'll say it anyway just to be on the safe side. Just in case you do get something out of it.

    I read your entire post, and in a sense, your brother is sort of like me. I was quiet in High School and I didn't like talking that much (Hell, I still don't), though I'm not a genius. Unlike most people, I didn't make such a big deal out of education after High School. I do have certain goals I want to achieve, but rushing into them isn't my style. If nothing happens to me during this long life, there is always time. I didn't participate in any sort of extracurricular activities in school, nor clubs. I want to create my own path to success at my own pace and own ways.

    Now, I have no idea if your brother thinks that way. But my point is that because we share some similarities, he may be hiding most of his feelings towards things openly and bottling himself up in the process because he may have felt that at some point, the path he was walking was starting to feel meaningless and he didn't want to take it anymore. And because of that, he may be confused if his way of thinking is right or wrong. Since he's the only one that knows what's going on in his head, the best thing you could just wait for him to come around. If you try to push things on him, he'll only become more distant. Patience is a key factor here. If you are afraid of leaving him alone, try your best to convey to him in a one-on-one serious talk that he can talk to you about anything that's on his mind about his future...or just anything in general. If he seems to not be interested, then wait for a better and more convenient opportunity to rise for him. If he seems like he's in a good mood and isn't really doing anything that would distract his mind, approach.

    There's also something else that I want to get off my back...but don't take it the wrong way. I've been raised under the same believes in religion as you have...though I have mixed feelings compared to other Christians that can't be made too public because where I live, you'll get some pretty mean looks coming your way if you have different feelings towards God or the religion itself.

    It's true that someone with his smarts have the potential to become someone very successful in the future. But he has the right to do whatever he desires with his talents without fear of rejection of his own goal. Even if he doesn't want to use them for anything at all. Not every human being follows the same lifestyle and methods, even if they are raised by the same standards or even in the same family. I won't get into any intricate details of my mixed beliefs, as I don't want to start a religious debate (I despise having those with a passion). But if you do manage to get some info out of your brother and he wants to follow a different path than one you think he can benefit more from, then allow him. There is no right or wrong in which you want to spend your life, as it's yours and no one else.

    But overall, I understand your concern for your brother...I have two of them, plus a sister (I'm the youngest though). All four of us have rather complicated lives and I myself can't stand the feeling of something bad happening to them, whether it be a similar situation like your brother or even life-threatening. One of my two brothers has changed so drastically from the person I knew back then...not the same situation as yours though. I don't want to spill my brother's (Or any of my siblings for that matter) business over the internet, but I'll just make his situation worse if I try to push anything on him. He's a stubborn one...way more stubborn than I am...and that's saying a lot right there. XD

    I know your brother is about to get out of school soon and college is just around the corner for him. But regardless, try to take it slow with him. Once he opens up more, you both will feel more secure.

    The only thing I have to say about this, though, is that if we don't push him along and just stay patient, he'll never do anything. If my dad hadn't sat down with him and forced him to do his college applications, he would have never done them (Or at least missed the deadline by months). If he wants to be in school in Fall 2012, then I'm scared that there's just not enough time for him to turn him around so drastically ;~;.

    So you have a mentally challenged sister and a socially awkward brother addicted to online gaming. Are you yourself without faults?

    Of course I'm with faults. If you've seen my Facebook, you'd know that I have a hell of a lot of problems. For instance, I have a speech impediment (mild stuttering), I have severe mood swings, I'm too emotional, I'm too anxious, I put myself down way too much, I'm too much of a pervert, I fap way more then I should, I worry too much, I'm too scared to take risks. . . If anything, I have the most problems out of anybody in my family. I just like to not post about them on here because whenever I complain about myself, it becomes more of like "Well Nestling/CDFA is just a bitch now isn't he."

    Assuming your story is true...

    I don't post shit like this to make a damned joke <_<. If I wanted to dick around with this, I would have posted this in FFtF. You have no idea how much statements like this piss me off.

    Your brother needs help. He needs to have a good talking to, not while he's sitting there playing his LoL. He needs to be disciplined into a new lifestyle. Maybe go outside, play some ball, punch a punchbag, lift some weights, something to help boredom other than games. I know it's contradictory of me to say this since until like 6 years ago, I was pretty much gaming every day, but still.

    Set a damn curfew on his computer usage. Turn the internet off in the house after a certain time. Tell him he can play it every day for a couple of hours, but not all day. Give him chores around the house, anything. Make him earn his internet usage. Make him realise that he won't get something for nothing.

    I'm not sure why you're posting it here since there is nothing we can do regardless of what we say, though I suppose it's nice to share your family life... Not something I would do. Although my family aren't half as interesting as yours. I've experienced two close family deaths in my lifetime, while the rest of my family don't have major problems as far as I'm aware.

    He actually used to have a lifestyle where he was active. He was on the track team and was a pretty good Discus/Shotput thrower. The main thing that's hard about him getting a "new life" is that there's no motivation for him. He's not like my sister, who will literally scream "MY COMPUTER NEEDS ME. IT'S CALLING ME", but he'd be incredibly apathetic about the entire thing, moreso then he already is. Would it be nice for him to get out, yes, but it'd just seem like "something my parents make me do" rather then him really having a new life. Something I didn't mention about my brother, but he's easy to command. He's not easy to push around (That's me .-.), but if his parents tell him to do something, then he'll just do it (Unless it's something related to the internet, in which he'll just wander off onto youtube or something), without complaints, but he won't neccesarily enjoy it~.

    We've tried internet curfews so much, but my parents just kinda gave up on it (Like a lot of other things). My mom can't stay awake past 9, so she really can't dictate anything on about that because there's no way to enforce it or anything. My dad generally stays up late because he gets home from his job around 11PM, but as I've said before, my brother is the "favorite son" and my dad is also very bad at being commanding, especially to him. Could I talk to my parents about this? Yeah. My mom would probably support me, but my dad would just be like "eh" and ignore me.

    The job that he's supposed to get is also supposed to help, especially over the summer. But that requires him to give effort, something that he won't do if it involves a computer with internet access.

    Your brother's situation sounds a bit like how my parents would describe MY situation.

    My situation: Graduated high school as valedictorian while taking 6 AP classes (which hasn't really been matched at my high school, ever?). I was a National Honor Finalist, and my SAT scores were threw the roof. I decided that I wanted to go to college with plenty of bright individuals like myself and got into a top-ranked science, math, and engineering school. I enjoyed college life, a bit too much. Maybe it was that I finally had friends I wanted to associate with (growing up in a small town in the midwest=not the best social environment). Maybe I had gone to school a little too far from home (away from disciplinarian-minded parents). In any case, my grades at school became Bs and Cs, instead of the As I was used to receiving (granted the school was tough). At first I was shocked, then went into a comfortably numb sort of attitude, assuming it would get better as the years went on. Short story: it didn't. Last summer, I was diagnosed with having high anxiety and ADD (not ADHD, there's a difference) and started treament, but went back to school before the proper dosage was determined. That semester, I decided it was in my best interest to withdraw from school (Failed to do way too many assignments, which piled up), and returned home. I'm now taking classes at a nearby university and was just accepted as a transfer student there (literally just, like 30 min ago). Meanwhile, I'm continuing treatment and therapy for the anxiety and ADD, but life is improving. Initially, when I returned home, I didn't feel like applying anywhere. I myself dove into MTG* full force, which my parents decided to remove after I was ignoring family far too often. When I was no longer able to access MTG, I initially became more depressed. Even so, I bounced back, and found myself more willing to help out around my house and focus on my studies. I was raised in a Catholic environment, but I'm firmly athiest in my beliefs (expressed only after I reached college). Even so, I'm of the opinion that I ought to benefit the world (since from my prespective, world>me).

    Now my advice: Remove LoL from him, and instead have him look up topics in bioengineering, if that's what he's really interested in. If there's someone/someplace nearby focused on bioengineering, push him towards that. Hopefully, he really is interested in holding an occupation in the area, and can start to demonstrate his interest. Ask him about what he wants to do when he hits the job scene, about bioengineering-type topics, about what he wants in life. Actively challenge his ideas and opinions in non-gaming areas of life (not in a way that makes him feel bad, but if he disagrees with your opinions, have him explain why he thinks differently), and he just might respond. You could attempt to have him see a therapist, but he'll probably assume you think he's insane. Instead, try to show him that his life is abnormal, and that it might be in his best interest to change. Try to see if who you think his friends are match who he thinks his friends are. (Just because you talk with someone regularly in a social setting doesn't make them your friend. A friend is someone who you'd go out of your way to meet with.) Even if his direction in life doesn't match your own, let him know that you believe in him. Not in the wishy-washy religious belief that a person born into a religion would have, you know who he is and that he will be successful.

    Also, I just noticed that he's your older brother? My advice probably isn't the best then (my older brother and I are rather distant), but then again, I'm rather fond of my next younger brother who also happens to be in a close relationship with a girl (although she's quite a bit luckier than your girl, good luck with your relationship). And these are the sort of steps that I want my younger brother take to help me. Also, it seems that you haven't mentioned your parents involvement at all. Discuss your ideas to help your brother out with your parents, and see if they can help out as well.

    Good luck!

    *If you don't know, MTG=Magic: the Gathering.

    Firstly, I wish you luck on your trials. I'm glad to see that even with all that you've gone through, you've been able to recover and not just hit rock bottom with "welp life's over better be a bum" <3~.

    First, on the topic of his friends. I'm friends with most of his major friends, and a good portion of them are in a kind of similar situation. His friends manage to live occupied lives while still playing the game, though. I know one of them is also a basketball player, another likes to go hunting, etc etc. I know most of his friends, and I know that a lot of them look at life the same way that I do. With his desire to surround himself with AP students, he's surrounded himself with people who also spend so much time living life like I try to, working hard with dedication in order to achieve the best in life.

    Secondly, showing him that his life is "abnormal" is easier said than done. A lot of it is because he's EXPERIENCED a lot of life, and voulantarily threw it away for things he's more interested in. He had the potential to be a major part in academic-based clubs, which he express a desire for, he had the potential to become a great piano player (he had the "piano hands" and was actually pretty good. Better then I'd ever be, and I'm the music major ;D). He had the potential to become a great track star, and land himself in a great college just off of that. But he threw it all away for silly games. I feel that if I try to show him the greatness of not the computer, then he'll be interested in it for about a year, and just be like "eh. . ." and go back to his computer.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Something I feel I should also post. . .

    I was thinking about this all day today. After calming myself from being pissed and it being early morning. I sat down and thought about my brother's life. I've realized something, that may be crucial to me being able to help him. . .

    Although he denies it, he's very dependent on friends. He's dependent on having someone to be with. He's very independent in thoughts, he's independent in lifestyle habits, he can go somewhere and just work, but he can't do it without a friend. I can't shake the feeling that this is my fault. Him and I have been always considered the same person. When we get christmas gifts, we'll both get the exact same thing, probably just in a different color or something. He's never actually been "alone" in something before. Even if its not me, it's with his one of his friends. With me, I feel this way sometimes too, but I can do things by myself. If I'm interested in doing something, but my friends can't go, I'll still go, because I've been able to receive that sort of independence. I think that could be an influencing factor. If his friends are playing LoL, then he wants to play LoL. If his friends were all worryful college junkies like I am, then he'd probably be more concerned with applying for colleges.

    Also, the biggest thing I thought up of. He has me as a friend, he always has, and we've always been very close. He may think I'm stupid and I may think he's awkward and shallow, we're still considered by many to be the greatest of friends. But he's grown away from that and wanted to have new friends. I could relate to him in a sense, but I could never get to the highest level. When he talked to me about Yu-Gi-Oh!, I'd always ask "oh, what is that card? What does it do? How do I do that? What's the ruling on this" when in actuality, he wanted big discussion. He wanted someone who could go "YEAH THAT'S COOL YOU SHOULD ALSO USE THESE TO xscklbjvls;" He quit the game as of now, due to his personal dislike of how the game has turned, but that's besides the point. I'm tempted to post a video of him playing League of Legends, because it's much different then anybody would be able to imagine him if they knew him in real life.

    He's quiet in real life. If you didn't know him, or you weren't forced to know him by his annoying little brother, then he'd probably never have a place in your mind. But when he plays LoL with his friends, with Skype open, he spends most of the time laughing and screaming. He'll speak with a loud voice and joke around and be stupid, much more then his real life counter-part.

    So I've thought about it. . . what if he's so obsessed with the game because it's his only outlet of having friends that he truly desires? When he was in track, a lot of people in there weren't "AP Students" There were a few, and track had one of the highest group of AP students in it (the highest being Tennis), but I guess there were just too many "stupid people" for him to really care about them. When he did piano, it was more of a free-lance thing. He did it by himself in a sense, but only because he was obsessed with LoZ at the time, and wanted to learn Midna's Lament (which he still didn't learn.). I can't really be certain, though, because as I said, he denied many other things that involved a LOT of his good friends.

    But maybe LoL is the only place where he feels accepted. Maybe it's the only place where he feels like he has like-minded people who will agree with what he believes in and what he says. Sure, there may be the "stupid people", but there's many friends to be found. . . I have no experience with this because I've always grown to be hated on the internet (and hated in real life until High School hit).

    Which brings me up to this. . . I can understand how LoL makes him feel more accepted and stuff (Although he was never really unaccepted. Most people that I talk to say that they're not fond of him because he doesn't talk and shows himself as creepy because he'll voulantarily refuse to talk with people. I've seen him when he meets an "undesirable" and it's scary stuff.), but I'm still worried for him! All I've found out is a possible reason for his obsession, but now I need to help him re-prioritize himself! I know almost all of his friends, and they've been accepted into college, they still go outside and play and love their family and stuff, but still play LoL with the same degree! Gaaah. . .

    Also, I'm not sure where you guys got into the damned suicide crap. I've attempted suicide about 5 times, and I know that he's NOWHERE near that point.

    So I'm legit scared.

    in General

    Posted

    For once, I'm not scared for my own future for once. It's for the future of my brother.

    First of all, a little back-story on who he is. Andrew is considered by many to be some sort of genius. Although he struggled in elementary school, he learned how to learn and eventually ranked in that "well this dude's really smart and isn't really lazy but somehow manages to get sub-par grades." He's in a sense socially awkward, and isn't neccesarily an ass, but he's straightforward, and hates anybody who isn't taking all honors classes, unless they fit into a certain niche that he wants to be a part of.

    He's also very skilled and interested in online gaming. First being deeply involved in SSBB, then TF2, then Starcraft II, and now Leauge of Legends. When he gets interested in a game, it becomes his life in a sense. He'll spend most of his time either playing it, or watching videos/researching about it. It generally gets to the point to where it's all he will talk about (Even back when he used to go to church, I'd be avidly paying attention, and he'd be like "hey Brian I totally sl;kdjg;klsd my skl;djg;klsd" .-.). This is key to my fears.

    So he's a senior in high school. He wanted to take 6 AP classes, but due to scheduling, and lack of faith in his Spanish grade, he only was able to get 4 AP classes, plus an Arch. Design class (Not very helpful now since he wants to major in bioengineering, but meh). He's doing well enough in all of those classes to pass, but understand much more then many other students in the class (If he wasn't so damned silent at school, he'd be revered as a genius rather then a creepy quiet guy). So college applications. This is what's scaring me. He seemed to not really care. Our family had to force him to choose a major and force him to apply to schools (My dad had to sit next to him during his applications to make sure that he didn't stop and watch Starcraft videos), and he just kind of applied to random schools that he heard had good Bioengineering programs.

    So we got him to apply to 4 schools. So far, he's been accepted into none of them. He's been denied from two schools and is waiting to hear from 2 more (1 of which he only chose because he liked the shirts they sold around campus :<), who in my opinion, won't accept him either. I knew from the start that he would get denied. His profile really showed nothing of special interest. Sure, he got a 5 on his Physics AP test, but he still showed no sense of extra-cirrucular stuff or anything to do within the world. Sure, he was a member of one community service club, and he did damned well in there too, but still, he seemed to do nothing but go home and study for school (which, sadly, is actually an overstatement). But that's not what's worrying me. People get denied all of the time, after all.

    What's worrying me is that he seems to not care. Due to him, I'm friends with a large amount of seniors, so I can easily see when college acceptance letters are appearing due to people going "OMG GOT AKEPTED." all over the place. So I saw messages for one of his schools. I informed him "Hey, Andrew, the acceptances came out! You should check online for them!"

    His reply. . . "k", then he continued to play League of Legends. It wasn't until 10PM that he decided to give an effort. He forgot his password, and then kind of gave up and went back to League of Legends. I logged into his e-mail and tried to access his account, but I stopped after a while due to fear of having his account locked out for attempted unauthorized access or something. So I went to bed. It wasn't until about 2AM that he decided to check, seeing that he got denied. He didn't care that much. So another school comes in. Same situation, except this time, it took two days before he checked. Denied again. Didn't care. So, other colleges. We're telling him "Hey Andrew, you should check out to see if they've said anything" ". . .k *does nothing*"

    This is just the start of it. For the only club he's in, I'm an officer of it, so I'm busy planning events. There's an event this saturday, and he is completely free. Generally, he enjoys going to every event possible. As of now, though. . . ". . . No", he states. His friends are going, and he has nothing to do that day, but still. . .no. He uses some excuse about how last year he almost did the event but didn't but I didn't care enough to argue. . .

    So he's on Skype later that day. He gets invited to go to Disneyland with some of his friends, overnight, Friday-Sunday. My parents were ok with him going and ready to pay all expenses. I couldn't go because I was busy with stuff that day (sadly :<), so he's just left with himself and a good amount of his League of Legends friends. So they ask him. ". . . No."

    Same Saturday. . . same time. . . no reason, no motivation, just pretty much him being apathetic to the world.

    My fear isn't that he doesn't want to go to Disneyland or that he doesn't want to go do community service, or even that he's being denied from every college he applies to.

    My fear is that he's grown so apathetic with the world. Even when my dad wanted my brother to get a job, my dad pretty much had to do the search for him because my brother was too busy playing League of Legends. Whenever I look at him, my brother is either watching videos of League of Legends, or playing League of Legends, yelling at his friend Kyle for sucking or talking about some sort of AP Soraka Crap. I'm scared for him, though. . . He's so smart, so talented, and could do so much for the world. But these damned video games are ruining him. He's grown to believe that everything in the world just sort of happens for the best, and that he doesn't need to care or do anything and he'll continue riding into success like he is now. He's never studied a day in his life and has been able to do incredibly well with his classes, even if he doesn't get straight As. He has so much potential, but some stupid game with mages and huge tits has held him back so much.

    I'm a youth religious teacher, for those who don't know. Last week, my lesson was about not worrying in the world. Not worrying because God would provide everything. Just to live life knowing that God would provide for you. This is exactly how my brother lives (Although he's grown to become christian only in name .-.). But Jesus's teaching also say that we must be hardworking. For sloth and laziness are deathly sins. When I go on the internet, I am not always occupied, but I occupy my life in either my thoughts or in my actions with plenty of things, so that I may become successful and please God with my successes. I work hard and look to the future without worry because I believe that God will provide me with what I need. In my understanding of God's word, his teaching of "Do Not Worry" do not mean "Oh you can not care about anything and not work hard because I'll give you everything, go take a nap or something.", but rather "Work hard to please your father, but do not worry about the world, for I will provide for you what you need in life."

    If only I could sit there with my brother and teach him this. . . even if I don't teach it to him as "WORK HARD FOR GOD" but rather "DON'T BE LAZY", I'm sure he wouldn't listen to me. He finds me stupid due to my generally happy attitude and my ability to not hate everything, as well as my struggles with math and science.

    So. . . I'm scared. I'm sorry if this argument makes no sense, but when it comes to my brother, the strongest influence in my life, I'm. . . my thougths are just so messed up, that they don't go straight. I care for him so much. I care for him more than anything else, even more then Nicole. . .

    If you want me to re-explain crap, I can, because I'm not proof-reading this to see if this makes sense.

    So. . . what should I do. . .? How do I make him care?! What can I do to save him from the hard and cruel world?! I've already been entrusted to take care of my damned sister when my parents die (considering how crazy my dad gets in the next 5 years, he might just dump her on me when I graduate while he lives being an old person), I don't want to have to take care of him too.

    The woman I love. . . Nicole. . . she already suffers from severe sickness. She'll go through many times where she'll be able to eat nothing due to internal problems, spending much time in the hospital. I'll have to take care of my sister, who has medical problems up the ass, as well as a growing desire to eat everything in sight (Based on what she watches on youtube, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried eating ME <_<). He's better then this. He's better then being some sort of lazy bum with no job living with his stupid younger brother who can barely keep himself alive with his silly Music Therapy job (plus other damned jobs that have no relation at all considering that I turn out like my dad like everyone says I will .-.). I can't take care of him under the conditions that I live in! Even with God on my side, we'll all be stuck living lives of poverty and sorrow, all because my brother decided that mastering his ability to lane with Soraka was more important then living life and working hard to achieve success.

    What can I do to save him? What can I do to save myself? What's going on. . .? God help us. . .

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