Aior0sS@ggitar!us Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 And now, a Summertime parody song of a Summertime parody song, taking place in the same setting as "Mel Brooks' Monty Python and the Fire Emblem". Sung to the tune of "Skeet Surfin'", from the 1984 comedy film Top Secret!. *Disclaimer: I own nothing of Nintendo, Intelligent Systems, Kingsmere Properties, Paramount Pictures, United International Pictures, or the scoring of Maurice Jarre.* Summer has once again come to the kingdom of Askr, and as such, those who fill the ranks of Askr's Order of Heroes, each from many different worlds throughout the multiverse, do take the time to enjoy a little beach vacation when not fighting or occupying themselves around Askr Castle. For this year, in particular, a new trend has swept the kingdom and its neighbors. A very...unusual trend, whose sudden popularity was put to song by the very talented bard Nicholas of the Rivers. A trend known as... Sword Surfin'... Sword Surfin'... If everybody had a rapier, And a surfboard too... [A large number of excited Heroes come from over a dune running towards the beach, swords sheathed at their waists while carrying surfboards.] You'd see 'em duelin' and surfin', From here to South Derdriu! [Some of the Heroes slide on their boards headfirst into the water as they start swimming their way towards the building waves.] Because it's a total raver, Ridin' waves and clashin' sabers... It's so cool as you duel while you're ridin' out the heavies all day...! [Worriedly, and wearily, some of the healers among the Heroes begin readying their medical tents, just in case.] First move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Quick defense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [Realm-I's Ogma is seen squaring off with Realm-X's Shayla (twin sister of Shez) as both will themselves to maintain their balance on their respective boards.] Second move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Remain tense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [Shayla manages to get the upper hand and knock Ogma into the water, with the former gladiator landing next to a raft occupied by fellow Realm-I'ers Donnel and Olivia, accidentally splashing them in the process while they were fishing.] Third move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Big offense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [Ogma resurfaces, spitting out some water, while Donnel and Olivia, on seeing him, gape for a moment before they burst into laughter. Ogma, wondering what's so funny, looks up and realizes he picked up a hitchhiker in the form of a small octopus, who looks down at him from the top of his head.] Sword surfin'... (It's all right...) We're waxin' down our surfboards, And whetin' down our blades... [Realm-III's Fiora, Realm-VI's Korinna (twin sister of Corrin), Helbindi of Múspell, Realm-X's Caspar, and Thórr of Ásgarðr are seen waxing surfboards, while Realm-IV's Joshua, Realm-I's Gaius, Realm-V's Mia, and Realm-X's Shez are shown running their swords on whetstones.] Tell the teacher we're duelin', while wearin' awesome shades! [Passing by a lounging Byleth (twin sister of Byron) and Rhea of Realm-X, among a crowd of Heroes heading towards the surf as the next group, Realm-X's Sylvain and Claude, along with Realm-I's Lucina (wearing her 'Marth' mask), briefly flash grins in our direction as their respective pieces of eyewear glint in the sun.] Don't have a longsword in your saddle? Improvise and grab a paddle. [Realm-X's Shamir shrugs apologetically when fellow Realm-X'er Catherine finds a lack of a sword in their horse's saddlebag, before a smiling Ymir, Dragon of Life, hands Catherine a boat paddle for her to use. Catherine, thinking 'beggars can't be choosers', accepts the proffered implement with a thankful grin as she then rushes off to join the rest in the water.] We'll have fun in the sun till the lifeguard takes our daggers away...! [Realm-I's Frederick, acting as one of the lifeguards for the day, spots fellow Realm-I'er Tharja and Loki of Ásgarðr about to pull a prank on Realm-V's Micaiah and Realm-XI's Alara (twin sister of Alear); walking up quietly behind them, with a look of stern disapproval on his face, he blows into his whistle, badly startling the dark mage and trickster goddess enough that they both jump a few feet into the air.] First move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Quick defense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [On a couple of boards, Realm-XI's Goldmary manages to fling the sword out of the hand of Princess Fjorm of Nifl, sending it spinning through the air until it lands, tip-first into the sand, at a spot of beach where Realm-VI's Xander, Leo, and Elise were having lunch. The three out of four Nohrian royal siblings are understandably freaked out, considering the sword landed mere inches away from Xander's crotch.] Second move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Remain tense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [Mia and Realm-X's Edelgard double-team the former's fellow Realm-V'er Altina, causing her to slip a bit on her board and send her sword flying...where its tip accidentally hits the rear of the wyvern ridden by Realm-IV's Innes. Said wyvern lets out a scream of pain akin to Tom's from Tom and Jerry as it bucks a surprised Innes off the saddle and sends him falling into the water below.] Third move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Big offense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [When the prince of Frelia resurfaces, he glares at the trio of swordswomen, with Edelgard and Mia looking one way awkwardly while Altina does the same in the opposite direction while also whistling idly.] Sword surfin'... (It's all right...) First move, (Swipin', swipin'...) got the knack! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [The duel between Realm-X's Sylvain and Lorenz proves evenly-matched, until a move by Sylvain flings Lorenz's sword out of his hand and sends it spinning through the air along the shore...where it accidentally snips the straps of the bikini tops of the following in the process-Realm-VI's Camilla; Realm-X's Dorothea, Hilda, and Marianne; Realm-III's Lyn and Ursula; Realm-I's Regan (twin sister of Robin) and Noire; Realm-IV's L'Arachel; and Realm-XI's Ivy.] Second move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Sneak attack! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [All ladies (understandably shocked) manage to catch their tops before they fall, and with the exceptions of Noire and Marianne, glare in the direction of Sylvain and Lorenz, both known to be 'playboys' in their own respective fashions.] Third move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Push 'em back! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [Making nervous sounds akin to Curly of the Three Stooges, both boys start swiftly paddling away from the shore on their boards while all the ladies, save for Noire and Marianne, begin angrily chasing after them.] Sword surfin'... (It's all right...) Sharing sunsets after a close shave... [Realm-IV's Eirika and Seth are shown strolling along the beach at sunset, arm-in-arm.] When we slice a wave, we really slice a wave...! [We see a surfing Shez briefly jump up from and land back on his board as he parries and dodges a series of slashes coming through a wave...which are then revealed to be from a cartoony swordfish he's somehow found as his opponent.] First move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Quick defense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [Fjorm's brother, Hrid, squares off with Realm-X's Dmitri, their duel proving to be a close one.] Second move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Remain tense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [Hrid then makes a thrust towards Dmitri, who dodges, causing Hrid's blade to find its mark...in Gullveig of Vanaheimr's golden serpent floatie.] Third move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Big offense! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [As the floatie begins to deflate, the Golden Seer looks at the two, unamused, making both princes quite nervous as they quietly paddle back to shore. Gullveig then proceeds to reverse the flow of time on her floatie, restoring it back to normal.] Sword surfin'... (It's all right...) First move, (Swipin', swipin'...) got the knack! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [We then see the duel between Realm-I's Caeda and Realm-IV's Lyon, the latter a bit unsteady due to it being his first time with swordplay.] Second move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Sneak attack! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [Caeda manages to fling Lyon's sword out of his hand, sending it flying in a spin back towards the shore...] Third move, (Swipin', swipin'...) Push 'em back! (...While you're surfin', surfin'!) [...where it lodges itself in a palm tree, severing a few coconuts from the top, which then proceed to fall onto the head of Realm-I's Vaike, who'd been in the middle of showing off in front of another Realm-I'er in Linde, Realm-V's Elincia, Realm-X's Ingrid, Realm-IV's Lute and Tana, and Fjorm and Hrid's sister Gunnthrá.] I wish they all could be dual-wield, I wish they all could be dual-wield swords... [While Vaike is knocked out, Realm-I's Tiki (younger), Realm-XI's Clanne, and the youngest Nifl princess, Ylgr, see the opportunity before them and, grinning mischievously, proceed to start burying Vaike up to his neck in sand.] [Cue a montage of another group of Heroes, boards and blades in-hand, making their way towards the water.] Sword surfin', can't you see? Do you wanna come along with me? Sword surfin', can't you see? Do you wanna come along with me? Sword surfin', can't you see? Do you wanna come along with me?... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.