Guest FreelancerSealBoy Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 I'm writing this one right here, so it'll probably need some work. But anyway, tell me what you think? Lucia Summary: Lucia is a Crimea swordswoman and the milk-sister to Princess and later Queen Elincia. She is also one of the queen's cloest friends and allies. Bio: PoR: Lucia, like her younger brother Geoffrey, were born into the house of Count Delbray of Crimea. While details of her early years remain unknown, it is known that she and her sibling were raised with the recently-born princess of Crimea, Elincia, at the royal family's villa. As the three shared their childhood, they grew very close. As she grew older, Lucia became a soldier as did her brother. She and her milk-sister were eventually separated as war erupted with the invation of Ashnard, King of Daein. While Elincia fled and later sought aid for her country, Lucia, like so many other retainers and members of the Crimean army, remained hidden. Disgused as merchants, Lucia and Geoffrey waited for the day Elincia would return and reclaim her home. After a year apart, Lucia and her milk-sister were reunited as the mercenary Ike, now the commander of the Crimean forces crossed the Riven Bridge, the border between Daein and Crimea. Shortly afterward, the army journeyed to Delbray where Lucia particpated in the battle there over Elincia's protests. She continued to lend her blade to the liberation effort as the army marched from Delbray onto the captial city of Melior itself. After Ashnard had been slain at Castle Crimea, Lucia was present at her milk-sister's crowning as the new queen. RD: Lucia continued to support and aid Elincia as best she could as her advisor. Her ties with the queen granted her a seat on the royal council, though the nobles prevented her from offering her input. When news of a possible revolution reached Elincia's ears, Lucia offered to go and investiagte the reported ringleader of the rebellion. Her task was a difficult one as she was walking into the house of one of the most powerful noblement in Crimea: Duke Ludveck of Felirae. For her queen and country however, Lucia was willing to take the risk no matter how great it was. During her stay at the duke's castle, she was treated well by her host, thought it was likely because the duke desired her. One night, Lucia snuck out of the castle hoping to discover some piece of evidence of treason. She found her answer in a nearby cave. She discovered a document with Ludveck's name and seal with was more than enough evidence to prove him a rebel. As she tried to leave the cave, she was met by one of the duke's men whom she was forced to kill. Once safe in Melior, Lucia watched as her brother departed for Felirae to seize Ludveck. She waited for news of the battle to relay to Elincia who had fled Melior for her safety. The sighting of a lit beacon alerted Lucia to the end of the fighting in Felirae, though she guessed the battle was a diversion. At nightfall, she left Crimea Castle to deliver a message to one of her many spies so that Elincia could be alerted to the coming danger. To her shock, she found her agent dead and Ludveck himself waiting for her. Though she remained silent as he questioned her, she was unable to help Elincia. After having her hair cut off, Lucia was taken along as a prisoner and as Ludveck's bargaining chip for the throne. After the battle at Fort Alpea, Lucia again stared death in the face as she stood on a scaffold outside the fort to be hanged as Ludveck had planned should the battle turn against him. Her life was offered to Elincia in exchange for the rebel leader's freedom and the throne. When Elincia refused the rebels' trade, Lucia lifted up heartfelt praise for her queen as her last words. As her death neared, the intervention of Ike and the Greil Mercenaries saved her from the noose and after she'd recovered, she was reunited once more with Elincia. Later, Lucia marched with her queen and the rest of the army to enforce Crimea's neutral stance in the ongoing war between the Laguz Alliance and the Begnion Empire. When Elincia pledged her support to aid Sanaki, Empress of Begnion, in reclaiming her empire, Lucia was among the troops as they marched from battle to battle across the border with Daein and eventually into Begnion itself. She also fought as King Tibarn along with Queen Elincia tracked down the madman Izuka. After the defeat of the goddess Ashera, Lucia returned to Crimea where she remained ever by Elincia's side. In her life, the love between her and the queen was said to grow stronger than that of most blood sisters. Though Bastian, the Count of Fayre, held affections for her and often attempted to woo her, Lucia never married; the first of the queen's retainers to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Lucia is a Crimea(n) swordswoman and the milk-sister to Princess(,) and later Queen(,) Elincia. She is also one of the queen's cloest friends and allies. I put the alterations in the quote already. I'm not too sure if the extra commas are needed or are used correctly though. You could also mention Lucia has a younger brother, Geoffrey, and maybe something about her role in the Crimean royal palace (I think she had an important role anyway, but I haven't played RD yet). Actually, you already mentioned Geoffrey in the next paragraph, so you can forget that note X D as war erupted with the invation of Ashnard, King of Daein. Minor- "invasion" is typo'd. When news of a possible revolution reached Elincia's ears, Lucia offered to go and investiagte Similarly, "investigate" is typo'd. She found her answer in a nearby cave. She discovered a document with Ludveck's name and seal with was more than enough evidence to prove him a rebel. The first sentence is kind of short and it would be probably be better to combine it into an existing sentence. Secondly, the "with" in "name and seal with was more", should be "which" right? ^^ She also fought as King Tibarn along with Queen Elincia tracked down the madman Izuka. Not too sure what this is supposed to say. Otherwise, it's coming along quite well : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FreelancerSealBoy Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Ok, here's Lucia's article take 2. :P Lucia Summary: Lucia is a Crimean swordswoman and the milk-sister to Princess, and later Queen, Elincia. She is also one of the queen's cloest friends and allies. Because of her close relationship to the queen, she has a great deal of authority in Crimea's royal palace: her conduct is nearly unrestricted, and she has direct command over the castle guards. Bio: PoR: Lucia, like her younger brother Geoffrey, were born into the house of Count Delbray of Crimea. While details of her early years remain unknown, it is known that she and her sibling were raised with the recently-born princess of Crimea, Elincia, at the royal family's villa. As the three shared their childhood, they grew very close. As she grew older, Lucia became a soldier as did her brother. She and her milk-sister were eventually separated as war erupted with the invasion of Ashnard, King of Daein. While Elincia fled and later sought aid for her country, Lucia, like so many other retainers and members of the Crimean army, remained hidden. Disgused as merchants, Lucia and Geoffrey waited for the day Elincia would return and reclaim her home. After a year apart, Lucia and her milk-sister were reunited as the mercenary Ike, now the commander of the Crimean forces crossed the Riven Bridge, the border between Daein and Crimea. Shortly afterward, the army journeyed to Delbray where Lucia particpated in the battle there over Elincia's protests. She continued to lend her blade to the liberation effort as the army marched from Delbray onto the captial city of Melior itself. After Ashnard had been slain at Castle Crimea, Lucia was present at her milk-sister's crowning as the new queen. RD: Lucia continued to support and aid Elincia as best she could as her advisor. Her ties with the queen granted her a seat on the royal council, though the nobles prevented her from offering her input. When news of a possible revolution reached Elincia's ears, Lucia offered to go and investigate the reported ringleader of the rebellion. Her task was a difficult one as she was walking into the house of one of the most powerful noblement in Crimea: Duke Ludveck of Felirae. For her queen and country however, Lucia was willing to take the risk no matter how great it was. During her stay at the duke's castle, she was treated well by her host, thought it was likely because the duke desired her. One night, Lucia snuck out of the castle hoping to discover some piece of evidence of treason, and she found her answer in a nearby cave. She discovered a document with Ludveck's name and seal which was more than enough evidence to prove him a rebel. As she tried to leave the cave, she was met by one of the duke's men whom she was forced to kill. Once safe in Melior, Lucia watched as her brother departed for Felirae to seize Ludveck. She waited for news of the battle to relay to Elincia who had fled Melior for her safety. The sighting of a lit beacon alerted Lucia to the end of the fighting in Felirae, though she guessed the battle was a diversion. At nightfall, she left Crimea Castle to deliver a message to one of her many spies so that Elincia could be alerted to the coming danger. To her shock, she found her agent dead and Ludveck himself waiting for her. Though she remained silent as he questioned her, she was unable to help Elincia. After having her hair cut off, Lucia was taken along as a prisoner and as Ludveck's bargaining chip for the throne. After the battle at Fort Alpea, Lucia again stared death in the face as she stood on a scaffold outside the fort to be hanged as Ludveck had planned should the battle turn against him. Her life was offered to Elincia in exchange for the rebel leader's freedom and the throne. When Elincia refused the rebels' trade, Lucia lifted up heartfelt praise for her queen as her last words. As her death neared, the intervention of Ike and the Greil Mercenaries saved her from the noose and after she'd recovered, she was reunited once more with Elincia. Later, Lucia marched with her queen and the rest of the army to enforce Crimea's neutral stance in the ongoing war between the Laguz Alliance and the Begnion Empire. When Elincia pledged her support to aid Sanaki, Empress of Begnion, in reclaiming her empire, Lucia was among the troops as they marched from battle to battle across the border with Daein and eventually into Begnion itself. She aided her queen and King Tibarn of the Hawk's as they clashed with the armies of the Begnion Senator, Valtome, and later as they tracked down the madman Izuka in the swamps of Begnion. After the defeat of the goddess Ashera, Lucia returned to Crimea where she remained ever by Elincia's side. In her life, the love between her and the queen was said to grow stronger than that of most blood sisters. Though Bastian, the Count of Fayre, held affections for her and often attempted to woo her, Lucia never married making her the first of the queen's retainers to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Disgused as merchants, Lucia and Geoffrey Disguised is typo'd. After a year apart, Lucia and her milk-sister were reunited as the mercenary Ike, now the commander of the Crimean forces crossed the Riven Bridge, the border between Daein and Crimea. I'd add an extra comma after "forces". Lucia continued to support and aid Elincia as best she could as her advisor Similarly, I'd add a comma after "she could". Hopefully I don't sound like a comma freak I think it's pretty much ready to be added to the main site. Just tell me when you're ready, in case you have anything else to add : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FreelancerSealBoy Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Ok, here we go. Lucia Summary: Lucia is a Crimean swordswoman and the milk-sister to Princess, and later Queen, Elincia. She is also one of the queen's cloest friends and allies. Because of her close relationship to the queen, she has a great deal of authority in Crimea's royal palace: her conduct is nearly unrestricted, and she has direct command over the castle guards. Bio: PoR: Lucia, like her younger brother Geoffrey, were born into the house of Count Delbray of Crimea. While details of her early years remain unknown, it is known that she and her sibling were raised with the recently-born princess of Crimea, Elincia, at the royal family's villa. As the three shared their childhood, they grew very close. As she grew older, Lucia became a soldier as did her brother. She and her milk-sister were eventually separated as war erupted with the invasion of Ashnard, King of Daein. While Elincia fled and later sought aid for her country, Lucia, like so many other retainers and members of the Crimean army, remained hidden. Disguised as merchants, Lucia and Geoffrey waited for the day Elincia would return and reclaim her home. After a year apart, Lucia and her milk-sister were reunited as the mercenary Ike, now the commander of the Crimean forces, crossed the Riven Bridge, the border between Daein and Crimea. Shortly afterward, the army journeyed to Delbray where Lucia particpated in the battle there over Elincia's protests. She continued to lend her blade to the liberation effort as the army marched from Delbray onto the captial city of Melior itself. After Ashnard had been slain at Castle Crimea, Lucia was present at her milk-sister's crowning as the new queen. RD: Lucia continued to support and aid Elincia as best she could, as her advisor. Her ties with the queen granted her a seat on the royal council, though the nobles prevented her from offering her input. When news of a possible revolution reached Elincia's ears, Lucia offered to go and investigate the reported ringleader of the rebellion. Her task was a difficult one as she was walking into the house of one of the most powerful noblement in Crimea: Duke Ludveck of Felirae. For her queen and country however, Lucia was willing to take the risk no matter how great it was. During her stay at the duke's castle, she was treated well by her host, thought it was likely because the duke desired her. One night, Lucia snuck out of the castle hoping to discover some piece of evidence of treason, and she found her answer in a nearby cave. She discovered a document with Ludveck's name and seal which was more than enough evidence to prove him a rebel. As she tried to leave the cave, she was met by one of the duke's men whom she was forced to kill. Once safe in Melior, Lucia watched as her brother departed for Felirae to seize Ludveck. She waited for news of the battle to relay to Elincia who had fled Melior for her safety. The sighting of a lit beacon alerted Lucia to the end of the fighting in Felirae, though she guessed the battle was a diversion. At nightfall, she left Crimea Castle to deliver a message to one of her many spies so that Elincia could be alerted to the coming danger. To her shock, she found her agent dead and Ludveck himself waiting for her. Though she remained silent as he questioned her, she was unable to help Elincia. After having her hair cut off, Lucia was taken along as a prisoner and as Ludveck's bargaining chip for the throne. After the battle at Fort Alpea, Lucia again stared death in the face as she stood on a scaffold outside the fort to be hanged as Ludveck had planned should the battle turn against him. Her life was offered to Elincia in exchange for the rebel leader's freedom and the throne. When Elincia refused the rebels' trade, Lucia lifted up heartfelt praise for her queen as her last words. As her death neared, the intervention of Ike and the Greil Mercenaries saved her from the noose and after she'd recovered, she was reunited once more with Elincia. Later, Lucia marched with her queen and the rest of the army to enforce Crimea's neutral stance in the ongoing war between the Laguz Alliance and the Begnion Empire. When Elincia pledged her support to aid Sanaki, Empress of Begnion, in reclaiming her empire, Lucia was among the troops as they marched from battle to battle across the border with Daein and eventually into Begnion itself. She aided her queen and King Tibarn of the Hawk's as they clashed with the armies of the Begnion Senator, Valtome, and later as they tracked down the madman Izuka in the swamps of Begnion. After the defeat of the goddess Ashera, Lucia returned to Crimea where she remained ever by Elincia's side. In her life, the love between her and the queen was said to grow stronger than that of most blood sisters. Though Bastian, the Count of Fayre, held affections for her and often attempted to woo her, Lucia never married making her the first of the queen's retainers to do so. I can't think of a thing to add. I pretty much covered it all, though there wasn't much to cover in PoR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Alright, added : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fire Emblem Fanatic Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I was reading your article. I noticed there's a little mistake in there. Just a little typo. She is also one of the queen's cloest friends and allies I think you mean closest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Thanks, I'll have it fixed on the site. I should really use a spellchecker more often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fire Emblem Fanatic Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 You mean your writer should use it more often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Well, me as well. I have to use an online spellchecker whenever I need spellchecking to be done, so I've gotten lazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts