Judge Judy Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Yeah I enjoyed reading that. Nice, unique and funny too ^_^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 (edited) ok Edited January 15, 2010 by Nightmare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 If Gareth came a few chapters earlier he would have raped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thingy Person Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Why yes, it certainly is silly =P It certainly gets your point across, although it lacked real humour. It was an amusing read thanks to the nonsense, but it lacked funny. Extremely condescending narration helps. The copypasta'd conversation between Kurthnaga and Gareth really wasn't necessary. Things like that usually aren't, unless you can give them another meaning in the context of your story. At least you didn't try to add descriptions or anything to make it seem less of a copypasta. That would've been jarring. The best part, to me, was Gareth's death sequence, because he actually told off Kurth despite being Useless himself xP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Yeah, I wasn't too satisfied with it myself. There wasn't enough humour, but that's why you post these stuff, huh? Thanks for the criticism. It really helps. Also, this was my first time doing comedy seriously (haha, get it?), and I kinda suck at comedy anyway. But yeah, I'll try to improve in the future. I'm really satisfied with the poem, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thingy Person Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Yeah, I love the poem =3 Comedic poems are great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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