Ercdouken Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 (edited) Feedback topic: http://serenesforest.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=12633 Warning: Some strong language and incests Note: The Japanese/Fan names are used for the Akaneia characters. I decided to start a series of silly Fire Emblem scenes. If this is well received, I might make more. Vol. 1 Scene 1: Machis is stupid Machis: Rena where are you? I just want to see you one more time before I die. Rena: I'm over here. Machis: Rena where are you? Rena: I said I'm over *Machis tries to hit Rena with his lance, but Rena dodged* Rena: Hey, what's wrong with... *Machis tries to hit Rena again, but Rena dodged again* Rena: I'm your... *Rena gets hit by the lance* Rena: Ouch! That does it! *Rena gets real pissed and beats up Machis with her staff* Rena: *While beating up Machis* You can't recognize your own damn sister. Julian: Whoa, whoa, take it easy Rena. Rena: He can't even tell I'm his sister. Machis: Rena...where...are...you... Scene 2: Incest Eltshan: Sister, I have something to tell you. Lachesis: What is it brother? Eltshan: I'm in love with you, you're so damn hot! Hotter than my wife. Lachesis: Brother, I'm in love with you too. There's no one better looking than you are. *Eltshan and Lachesis started making out, then Sigurd walks in* Sigurd: Hey El...Oh my god! Eltshan and Lachesis: Ah! Sigurd: What the hell are you two doing? Eltshan: Well, we were about to have sex, but then you barge in. Sigurd: You're about to have sex with your own sister? Eltshan: Who cares, this game is full of incests. I bet you would have sex with your own sister. Sigurd: Hell no, I rather get it on with my wife, Daidora, which I already did. Eltshan: Speaking of Daidora, according to this script, she marries her half brother, Alvis. Sigurd: What!? Scene 3: Pursuit Noish: This guy's mine! *Hits the bandit and bandit hits back* Noish: If only I was able to attack him back, I would kill him. Alec: It's my turn! *Alec attacks bandit, Bandit attacks back, Alec attacks again and kills bandit* Noish: No fair, you got to double attack. Alec: That's because I have pursuit skill and you don't. Pursuit makes me popular with the ladies. Noish: Well, I have continue. Alec: But continue doesn't occur very often. Pursuit is the useful skill in this game. Noish: Why don't I get pursuit? Double attacking being a skill is bullshit! Ardan: I want pursuit more than anyone else. My life sucks! Scene 4: It's a me, Moulder. Moulder: It's a me, Moulder, I'm a here to heal people. Vanessa: Moulder, this kid is hurt. Moulder: Don't a worry, I'll a heal you! *Moulder gets hit by hand axe and shrinks* Moulder: Mamamia! *Moulder gets hit by hand axe again and dies in Mario style, also Mario death theme plays* Eirika: Who's going to heal our units? Seth: Well, we still have vulneraries. Scene 5: Oguma Schwarzenegger Marth: So you must be Captain Oguma. Oguma: Marth, you have to get out of here, they're trying to kill you! Maji: Geez, this guy is... Oguma: You're not allow to have any dialogue outside your death quote. Sagi: But that's un... Oguma: Shut the fuck up! Barts: Having no dialogue outside our death quote is bull... Oguma: I said shut the fuck up! Sheeda: Oguma, what's wrong with... Oguma: Sheeda, you have to fly out of here, there's archers here, they're trying to kill you! Sheeda: No, I came here to... Oguma: I said fly away! Kain: This guy is nuts! Oguma: There's bandits everywhere, they're after my tortias! One day, I shall become governer of Talis. Jeigan: Shut the fuck up! Oguma: No, you shut the fuck up! Scene 6: Sirius' identity Oguma: You kids have to get out of here, they're trying to kill you! *Sirius rides his horse towards Oguma* Oguma: Hey, I have seen you before, you're that Camus guy, but I thought you were dead. Sirius: Camus? I'm not Camus, I'm Sirius, I'm here to protect those children. Oguma: Take off that mask, I know it's you Camus. Sirius: Sorry, but I don't know anyone named Camus. Oguma: Lies, I know it's you Camus, you're wearing that mask to hide your face, but I can tell it's you, Camus. Sirius: Look here, I wear this mask to protect my eyes. Now help me out here since we're in a serious situation. Later... Marth: So you're the masked knight, Sirius. Sirius: That is correct, I am Sirius. Oguma: Marth, can't you tell that Sirius guy is actually Camus. Marth: Um...no, he doesn't look like Camus to me. Besides, isn't he dead? Oguma: But Marth, he has the same hair style as him. Can't tell? Marth: B ut he doesn't look like him to me. Hey guys, does this guy look like Camus? Paola: No! Katua: No! Gordon: No! Doga: No! Julian: No! Machis: No! Kashim: No! Alan: Yes! *Everyone stares at Alan* Alan: I mean no. Oguma: *Facepalm* Scene 7: Nergal's ultimate attack Eliwood: Nergal, we're here to stop you! Nergal: Heh, heh, heh, sorry Eliwood, but you won't be able to defeat me. I know everyone's weakness, and that weakness is...NINJA GAIDEN BIRDS! *Nergal summons an army of Ninja Gaiden birds* Nergal: Muwahahaha! *Ninja Gaiden birds attacks everyone* Eliwood: Ugh, these birds are too strong! Hector: Damn birds are so damn annoying! Lyn: I don't think we'll be able to win. Athos: Not even my godly powers can defeat these birds! Karel: I think...I have met...my match... Oswin: Must...retain...title...of...Os...WIN... Raven: I hate these fucking birds! Nergal: Muwahahaha, I am unstoppa... *Gets attacked by Ninja Gaiden birds* What the... *Gets attacked by more Ninja Gaiden birds* Hey! *Gets attacked by more Ninja Gaiden birds* Why are you all attacking me for? *Ninja Gaiden birds starts attacking everyone in Elibe* Generic Villager: My god, where are these birds coming from? Sometime later, Ninja Gaiden birds became rulers of Elibe, everyone in Elibe are slaves to the Ninja Gaiden birds. Eliwood: Way to go, Nergal! Nergal: I wasn't expecting this to happen. *Gets whipped by a Ninja Gaiden bird* Ouch! Scene 8: Visitor from another game series. Medeus: Ha, the Altean army has fallen into our trap! Richter Belmont: Die monster, you don't belong in this world? Medeus: Hey, you're in the wrong game asshole, and how the hell did you get in here? Richter: Tribute? You steal men's souls... Medeus: What!? Richter: ...and make them your slaves! Medeus: Hey there Belmont, who the hell do I look like, Count Dracula? Now scam! Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Medeus: Hey, are you even listening? Richter: Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Medeus: Look here, this is Fire Emblem, not Castlevania. This is not Dracula's castle. I'm a dragon, not a vampire. If you don't get out of here, I'm going to kill you! Richter... Medeus: I take that as a no. Well then, you're going to die. Guards, seize this intruder! *Transform into his dragon form* *Medeus' army surrounds Richter* Richter: *Spams Hydro Storm* HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! Medeus: God damn it Belmont, stop spamming the same move over and over again! Richter: HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! Medeus: Ugh, this is worse than the Falchion. Richter: HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! HYRDO STORM! Medeus: Ugh, I've been defeated by the most annoying move ever. One day there shall be...a...day.......... Richter:... Generic story teller: And that's how Richter Belmont saved the world from Durhua. Generic kid: Are you sure? I thought Marth was the one who saved the world from Durhua. Generic story teller: That story is a lie! Marth is just a 16 year old wimp. 16 year old wimps can't save the world, they're too wimpy to save the world. Edited February 2, 2009 by Dark Legend Vampire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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