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DELICIOUS MOIST CAKE Thread


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A long way gone

Good points

-detailed

-lessons the reader can draw upon

Bad points

-seems like a fiction; dialogue and fight scenes

-introducing characters, then killing them off without giving anything but a name

-had some poor transitions

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Who, for instance? I am assume you at least know who Kain and Raziel are...Razil is the one with the cape that is wrapped up like a scarf and Kain is the buff vampire that has a similiar cape but red-colored.

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