Altera the Hun Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Everyone knows Chuck Norris, Kenshiro, Sedgar, Kamina, Frey, Archer, Tibarn, and Mr. T are insanely manly. What most don't know is how Kyle Katarn beat down the entire lot of them, only using his left testicle and his beard. A man who once beat a friggin Kell Dragon to death with his bare hands, Kyle has been known to bring death and destruction wherever he goes- to just his enemies. A Jedi who's only possible equal in the entire Star Wars universe would be the clone-child of Starkiller, Plo Koon, and Corran Horn, it would be a crime against the universe NOT to spread the word of Kyle Katarn's epicness. So then, let's get down to business. Kyle Fact #1: Kyle Katarn is so tough that the very thought of him wiped out all the Jedi and Sith on Ruusaan. Kyle Fact #2: Kyle has two ways of entering a room. One is to kick the door down and kill everything inside. The other is to let the room come to him. And it will. Kyle Fact #3: "Taral" is ancient Sith for "Will be whipped by Kyle Katarn" Kyle Fact #5: Kyle Katarn once visited the "Cloak of the Sith" region. It is now the "Cloak" region. Kyle Fact #6: Kyle Katarn's first lightsaber worked underwater. Not because Rahn built it that way, but because it was too damn scared not to. Kyle Fact #7: Ever wonder why Jason Court didn't make a return appearance? Because NOBODY plays Kyle Katarn. Kyle Fact #8: Kyle Fact #4 doesn't exist anymore because Kyle Katarn didn't like it, and thus decided to Force Lightning it until it exploded. Into Warheads candies. Kyle Fact #9: Kyle Katarn's beard has the death sentence in twelve systems. Kyle Fact #10: Kyle Katarn's beard is the death sentence in twenty systems. Those who know the great feats of the amazing Kyle Katarn, do continue to add them here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Tarrasque Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 It's a crime to make one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK-201 Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Kyle Fact #11: He should give me the warheads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altera the Hun Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 Kyle Katarn is so tough that he Flow-Walked back in time to Obi-Wan between AoTC and RoTS and forced him to grow and fix his Beard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Wasn't Katarn originally an Imperial Commando or something? Whatever... The Eclipse Star Destroyer could beat'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altera the Hun Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 Kyle fact #12: The Yuuzhan Vong are not a real species, they're just goo Kyle found between his toes. Kyle fact #13: Cortosis disappeared because Kyle used it all to make a comb that didn't break when it touched his beard. Kyle fact #14: Centerpoint Station didn't have any tractor beams, Kyle just drop-kicks planets to make it look that way. Kyle fact #15: Mace could have survived falling out the window, but unfortunately he landed on Kyles beard. Kyle fact #16: Jacen & Jaina arn't Han's children, they're Kyle's. Leia became pregnant when Kyle looked at her. Kyle fact #17: The Death Star was a cover up, Alderaan was destroyed when Kyle force-sneezed through a wormhole he had opened out of boredom. Kyle fact #18: Yoda used to have 3 strong older brothers, but they mysteriously vanished after pissing Kyle off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Get the fuck out of my forum, Asmodeus. This kind of bullshit thread ruins Katarn's reputation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Yeah, you're actually doing a disservice to your favourite character(s) if you create a fact thread for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Get the fuck out of my forum, Asmodeus. This kind of bullshit thread ruins Katarn's reputation. Yeah, you're actually doing a disservice to your favourite character(s) if you create a fact thread for them. The two of you; eat shit. This thread should be pinned as mandatory reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altera the Hun Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 If Kyle Katarn's blaster jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it. When Kyle wanted a new place to go snowboarding he created Hoth. Before that it was a sunny resort world used by the Imperial moff's for vacations. Kyle Katarn invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Corran Horn invented pink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Darth Maul measured Kyle Katarn's wang to measure how long his double-sided lightsaber should be. Then Kyle turned one year old. ----------------- Plo Koon could kick his ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 So you wankers have to resort to this shit already? lol at your pretentious animu avatars. Get a life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Hey bro, Asmodeus, we're friends right, so stop posting this shit and edit out what you did. So you wankers have to resort to this shit already? lol at your pretentious animu avatars. Get a life. You're one to be talking, with 4252 posts in this forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 And my avatar isn't animu you fool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 And my avatar isn't animu you fool. More than mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Hey bro, Asmodeus, we're friends right, so stop posting this shit and edit out what you did. So you wankers have to resort to this shit already? lol at your pretentious animu avatars. Get a life. You're one to be talking, with 4252 posts in this forum. I got that in the course of two years, you shit wanker pretentious anime lover. And my avatar isn't animu you fool. You're just another wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defeatist Elitist Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 hey d00ds y u got 2 b liek that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I got that in the course of two years, you shit wanker pretentious anime lover. This board hasn't even existed for two years, go back to wanking to your anime porn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 That's what you do, wanker, not me. I have a real wife and I'm proud of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 That's what you do, wanker, not me. I have a real wife and I'm proud of it. That's nothing, I have twelve wives. Sleep with a different one every day of the month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Yeah, twelve ANIME wives. Go back to your shitty hentai, wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defeatist Elitist Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 shit i mean shirt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Yeah, twelve ANIME wives. Go back to your shitty hentai, wanker. At least they love me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Haha, you're a joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) You're an even bigger joke! Horrifyingly Brilliant? More like horrifyingly hilarious! Edited December 5, 2009 by Hero Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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