How to make the RD characters more interesting *SPOILERS*

[grandjackal]

Before I start, there are SPOILERS for anyone who has not played the game yet. Not that it's really interesting, but I just thought you'd ought to know.

Figured since I had nothing better to do, I would "rewrite" briefly the newcoming characters in RD, because these characters are nearly flatter than something out of an Ed Wood movie. Just a brief little thingy, and if you all are interested in me continuing after this, feel free to let me know. Perhaps I could just edge in changes to the story in general, but again I won't mention it unless people are interested.

Lets start with the DB

Michaiah

Currently: Mary Sue who is a psychic future-sight super-jesus who is always good and is always right who does insane things during part 3 to "give it tension", who is the voice of the goddess Yune.

Rewrite: If it weren't for the fact you actually FIGHT a goddess at the end, you would think Michaiah was utterly schizoid. Yet truly, would that not have made her a far more interesting character? It explains why Sothe looks out for her (she's too mentally unstable to look out for herself), it explains her "visions" (and why Sothe follows them, and makes everyone else do so. Who would you be more afraid of looking at stats that early on, Miccy or Sothe?), it explains her sudden flip of her behavior and actions in part 3, and in part 4 it'd be obvious she's not right in the head. She can still be a branded, but that doesn't mean she has to be anything special. She can just be a branded street urchin who's just mentally unstable. The magic could just run through her veins (She could be Sephiran's bastard daughter, or worse Lekain's as to not pull a Darth Vader). Her actions are still for "good" (so says "Yune" ), just that it can be misleading how that is interpreted.

Example, part 3. Pelleas rather than just forcing her as king simply tricks her into doing this because the goddess commanded it. Since the people will follow her every word, it wouldn't actually be hard to get the post-Ashnard Daien to rally against the laguz (this wouldn't involve the blood contract, so no Begnion involvement just off the start, but I'll get to that later).

By part 4, the destruction has been so all-consuming across the continent that the unleashed medallion (The Fire Emblem) has simply slowly depleted the chaos from the world and absorbing it into itself as sort of a magic-made form of "divine punishment", and she has no clue what she did wrong to cause this. This causes her breakdown in which she seems to revert to a child-like state of mind. The epilogue, she basically has to deal with the fact that her actions, actions for "good", nearly put all in stasis. The atrocities of the war in part 3, her doing. Unlike in the real RD, the rewrite I'd envision, she'd actually have to take responsibility for the horrible shit she's done. Daien instead dissolves and is abdicated by Crimea, and once again she's left as a street urchin.

Terrible for her perhaps, but then again I'm just personally pissed that she got away with such slaughter with not even a peep uttered towards her aside from Sothe (which she just effectively zones out until Tibarn personally threatens to drop his ass off a cliff. Sothe's taken care of her as long as she can remember, you wouldn't take his words on something crazy you're about to do?).

New part 4 Death Quote: Sothe, what..What did I do wrong?

Eddie

Currently: I believe in the extras section of the site, it said that Eddie was supposed to be a sort of back alley poor boy whom nobody loves, and so he fights to spare his life from this monstrosity that is the Begnion occupation (tied Eddie to Bohemian Rhapsody, YEEEEEAAAHH!!). Well, it's more just he's a happy-go-lucky freedom fighter who grew up a poor street rat (so many of them are happy-go-lucky, right?), and is a hero of justice! Ugh...Eddie, I love you as a unit, but I hate you as a character. Let's patch you up.

Rewrite: If you're a poor street rat growing up under war conditions of occupation, chances are you're a mugger rather than someone who just chooses to fight for the cause (because chances say you'd be unbelievably squashed). If these people all knew eachother, and considering Sothe's a thief, it's not hard to imagine someone else in the group's had experience as a criminal. I'd imagine he'd be less "there is a brighter future" and more "get used to it". Sort of snide, callous, and unsympathetic who's only out to save his own hide. Figured working with a group would help ensure his safety in such dangerous times. Very blatant as well, like a change in dialogue. After killing someone in 1-P (Miccy I mean) where she spouts out that rhyming goody gumdrops line, Eddie responds with something along the lines of "What sort of nonsense are you babbling about? Whatever, come on. we're not out of this yet.". In fact, could have just met up with Miccy the moment before to help her out (reason being she had nothing on her, and he never actually killed someone in a failed mug attempt before, even he didn't have the heart). Just the fact he tags along after meeting up with Sothe and Nolan sort of makes sense from there.

His involvement with Leo is that he met Leo on the streets. I say it was through a failed mugging attempt (his first), as Leo had nothing and was basically begging (it says Leo grew up a prince nobility of Daien, and the sudden lost found him stripped of everything. Having everything and one day just having so little that you could go a few days without eating can mess with the mind of a spoiled pampered princely being). He was just going to leave Leo where he was, but Leo tagged along since he figured tagging along with someone who knew the "underworld" would ensure his own survival in new settings. Eddie is not the least bit thrilled to tag with the naive prince, but he grows to like the guy as Leo's hatred towards Begnion starts to show itself. Eddie's not against a partner in crime, he's not anti-social.

By part 3, his reasons to keep fighting are simply because he's military now. He gets paid, he can actually live normally once the war's over, it's not like he particularly cares what he does to earn it. Part 4, it's still about survival. He was about to have an easier life, and finds out he still has to do more to make sure he has a nice place to get back to. I'd be annoyed too.

It just seems so unfitting with his image though. If he weren't so sunshine happy...God, it's like he drops acid or something.

New DQs

Part 1: What was I thinking?! Should have just stayed back...

Part 3: So I'm not good enough..Guess a lowlife like me's got no place in a normal life.

Part 4: Why now?...Was so close...

[_____]

That's not Edward. I mean, I know it's a character personality change and everything, but Edward is not Shinon.

[grandjackal]

That's not Edward. I mean, I know it's a character personality change and everything, but Edward is not Shinon.

Shinon's a dick, plain and simple. Eddie at least is friendly in company, but it doesn't mean he has to be a good guy to be sociable.

Think Nick from L4D2. He's cool if you get to know him, but you can see he's only out for himself.

Edited March 3, 2010 by Cait Sith

[_____]

Shinon's a dick, plain and simple. Eddie at least is friendly in company, but it doesn't mean he has to be a good guy to be sociable.

Think Nick from L4D2. He's cool if you get to know him, but you can see he's only out for himself.

Look at that happy-go-lucky smile on his sprite, though. You'd be better off just making an entirely new character.

Nick is also a dick. I think you're just making things up at this point.

[Ether]

inB4: Nolan - Chuck Norris/His alias Jesus decided to descent from texas/heaven to help out some schizo chick.

Anyway,seems good so far.Keep it up,GJ.

[grandjackal]

Look at that happy-go-lucky smile on his sprite, though. You'd be better off just making an entirely new character.

It just seems so unfitting with his image though. If he weren't so sunshine happy...God, it's like he drops acid or something.

I addressed that, and that does show the problem with Eddie. He's just too rainbows and lollipops.

Nick is also a dick. I think you're just making things up at this point.

Fine, so that was using a bad example. Point is he is a friendly guy, but only because he has no reason to be a dick unless he's mugging someone. Doesn't make him a friend of theirs.

Perhaps I just used the wrong words.

[Junkhead]

Micaiah

Currently: Mary Sue who is a psychic future-sight super-jesus who is always good and is always right who does insane things during part 3 to "give it tension", who is the voice of the goddess Yune.

@Bolded: That's just overdoing her Mary Sueness, you have to remember she is the trueborn apostle and is branded, that easily proves her powers, I don't think that's Mary Sue-ish because many branded have powers, no names were mentioned aside from Soren having a great magic potential.

@Italics: What is there to expect of a FE lord? It's also fundamental for most protagonists...

I ignored the rest, sorry. The characters I really felt that needed more...personality and non-genericness were Ike & Sothe.

Ike: Nothing to explain, most know he's all so serious, is just pure stats in this one.

Sothe: Kinda like Ike...pure stats in the begining but with more personality that seems to have been taken from somewhere else.

Seriously, all of sudden Sothe seems to be familiarized with every other ex-ally from FE9. How is that possible when he had only two supports and was an anti-social kid that didn't give damn about others aside Micaiah? He doesn't become THAT of a great friend with Tormod, they made it seem as if they were long time pals.

And then he's the typical guide know it all, much like Soren is to Ike. Changing does not honestly mean he's going to go around being so knowledgable about mystic stuff such as what is a galdrar and it's effects, he wasn't even present during the events of FE9 Ch 17 story-wise, I highly assume they're not getting a street urchin run around the forest when he is not even useful there, and him suddenly becoming a natural leader in FE10. They also made it look as if Ike and him were more than just commander and soldier, Ike just treated him like another thief and did NOT have much talk with him.

Edited March 4, 2010 by Soul

[NinjaMonkey]

Is it me or is Vika going to be really easy to do?

Not that I mind her not having much of a personality, mind you....

[Colonel M]

Don't click unless you played ME:AAI.

Nolan is a descendant of Tyrell Badd

I'll read these when I get home. I do remember hearing some of them (Aran I think).

[Mousefire]

Don't click unless you played ME:AAI.

Nolan is a descendant of Tyrell Badd

I'll read these when I get home. I do remember hearing some of them (Aran I think).

What an interesting yet possible twist

[grandjackal]

@Bolded: That's just overdoing her Mary Sueness, you have to remember she is the trueborn apostle and is branded, that easily proves her powers, I don't think that's Mary Sue-ish because many branded have powers, no names were mentioned aside from Soren having a great magic potential.

1-1

Michaiah: Escaping escaping esca-wait! *Stops to use a healing power only she has to bring a dying kid basically back to full health, despite being hunted down by an empire to make an example of, and everyone loves her because she is all good-doing, a descendent of a myth level powerful being TOTALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM*

Jesus couldn't drop light magic nuclear bombs. Super jesus. She's a mary sue out of the fact she is basically a super-blessed girl who is rainbows and lollipops that no one ever questions and she takes absolutely no responsibility for whatever she does as it's just handwaved as "doing the right thing".

I don't know how you can get more mary-sue. Her and her band of do-good on the clownboat S.S. Infallible. She is now a schizoid hobo-lady, and that is FINAL

*Rains down thunder and lightning*

@Italics: What is there to expect of a FE lord? It's also fundamental for most protagonists...

Not necessarily. There are plenty of protagonists out there that go about their ways in an underhanded manner. Delita from FFT is a nice example.

I ignored the rest, sorry. The characters I really felt that needed more...personality and non-genericness were Ike & Sothe.

There's basically the entire cast, and you chose only two?

Ike: Nothing to explain, most know he's all so serious, is just pure stats in this one.

Yeah, he used to be a cool dude in FE9. What had him turn into a board. I won't rewrite his personality (carry it over from FE9, simple), but more look into how to have the situation have more an effect on him rather than just make him the hero of the story (which seemed out of left field).

Sothe: Kinda like Ike...pure stats in the begining but with more personality that seems to have been taken from somewhere else.

Sothe's a weird one, and I'm not sure what to think. I think at some points he could have improved, but the way he just backs off...I suppose with schizoid Miccy, it's more just out of unexplainable sympathy than FE10's normal explanation (Well, you're the heroine, I suppose you know what you're doing, even if it is batshit crazy and there are a myriad of other ways to fix it).

My parody of him has him as basically this super-bitch of Miccy, who's parody version is basically this crazy sadistic psycho-bitch.

Seriously, all of sudden Sothe seems to be familiarized with every other ex-ally from FE9. How is that possible when he had only two supports and was an anti-social kid that didn't give damn about others aside Micaiah? He doesn't become THAT of a great friend with Tormod, they made it seem as if they were long time pals.

Suppose I'll have to address that, won't I? Thanks for the reminder on that tidbit, I didn't even think about it (maybe because I phase Tormod out like white noise).

And then he's the typical guide know it all, much like Soren is to Ike. Changing does not honestly mean he's going to go around being so knowledgable about mystic stuff such as what is a galdrar and it's effects, he wasn't even present during the events of FE9 Ch 17 story-wise, I highly assume they're not getting a street urchin run around the forest when he is not even useful there, and him suddenly becoming a natural leader in FE10. They also made it look as if Ike and him were more than just commander and soldier, Ike just treated him like another thief and did NOT have much talk with him.

I'd think Miccy was the all knowing and powerful Wizard of Oz for part 1. Sothe was just sort of the pet baboon that followed her around, and occasionally talked to her as a pet, it seems he knows his place.

Speaking of part 3, I feel...Well, I'll get to that when I get to that.

Now on with the show!

Nolan

Current: ....Uhhh, founder of the DB, reads books, and is the Chuck Norris of Tellius. That's seriously about it.

Rewrite: Nolan does NOT start the DB, the DB does not exist in this rewrite. Rather, Nolan helps people escape Daien's occupation by smuggling them out of the country. Ran into Sothe, who asked for his help, Leo and Eddie hitch along for the ride, Nolan gets them out via the desert. Why? Well, he knows just how bad shit's gonna go down, because he wasn't always a criminal (as good as his reasons are in this case). Rather, he used to be an officer of Begnion working under Jarod. He knew what sort of sadistic lunatic Jarod was, and realizing that he was set to keep rule over Daien under occupation, Nolan acted fast and perhaps recklessly.

You might ask of why out of all people he would bring to the desert? How did he know about Hatari? As a military man, he's had many chances to experience the world (it's not like he's a young guy). He's been to the mountain border of the desert, he's been into the desert (Nolan's that sort of "I climb the mountain because it is there" person), it was pure luck he found Hatari. Was greeted harshly, but Nailah as their queen let him free (I doubt Nailah would have someone killed just for being a stranger). As one of the few people in existence who even knows of Hatari's existence, and his contact with their leader, it was the easiest way to get people out of Daien and into safety in Nailah's land some years later (you get on royalty's good side, chances are you keep in touch).

The do meet Pelleas and his crew in the desert to discover he is trying to muster up the forces to take back the kingdom of Daien (I'll explain him when I get to him). Of course he would join, he had never agreed with the occupation of Daien in the first place, much less allow it to become that deeply rooted. Would explain his motives in part 4, he's worked hard to set things right in Daien, and he'll be damned if some goofy magic goes and messes up the world just after! Nolan don't stand for that shit!

Part 3? Vehemently against it. He wants no part of it...But he doesn't have a choice (again, I'll explain later).

Jarod Battle Quote

Nolan: How long was I in the force, only to discover you were promoted to a greater officer?

Jarod: Don't get smart with me. You were simply too busy fooling around the world to apply yourself properly. You shouldn't be surprised better soldiers get better positions.

Nolan: Yet I question how they let an unstable fool such as you handle power he doesn't deserve and shouldn't receive. How many throats did you step on, how many lies were there?

Jarod: Don't lecture ME about ethics, turncoat!

Nolan: Turncoat? Do you have any idea how much trouble you have caused!? The people you have lead to suffering, the starving, the homelessness! I have seen it all with my own eyes, heard it with my own ears! If this is the sort of thing my former nation would do with power, I would gladly turn my back on it without an ounce of shame.

Jarod: You would turn your back for the sake of foreign backwater trolls? These Daiens barely count as dogs, much less civilized people. You've kicked a dog for being bad before, haven't you? You kick and you beat until they learn the proper rules of society. They want to act like dogs, I'll treat them as such!

Nolan: ...*sigh* That's it. There is no hope in getting through to you. Only one way to settle it now.

Jarod: Good, I was getting tired of your bleeding heart. Allow me to add the fatal wound to it, and consider it the execution for your crimes to your nation, turncoat...

Leonardo

Currently: Basically it said he was a former royal of Daien, and was brought down to basically homelessness as not only was everything taken from him, I recall his parents were executed as an example to what happens to those who talk back. Outside of that, he was the level-headed foil to Eddie's rainbow vomit, and was otherwise the blonde pretty plank of wood on the team.

Rewrite: Imagine a high society prince boy tossed out to homelessness in basically a day, with everyone he called family now dead. Spoiled, not knowing how to just survive on his own, having done nothing for himself as he was served head and toe, can you imagine? The poor oaf was too good to steal for food, too proud to beg, Leo is a very posh, arrogant, high maintenence whiner at the start. Sort of the damsel in distress, only it's a guy. A very pretty feminine guy...Keep it together...

...Moving on, Leo could only curse his luck (he not counting his blessings for the few drinks of water he could scrounge out) was on the second day of basically no food. Foolishly wondering into an alley, he's assailed by Eddie, pinning him to the wall with a sword to his neck. No commoner could ever hope to seem even half as well kempt as Leo was, even messy for a couple days he was a dead giveaway. Eddie threatened Leo's life for all he had on him, thinking it was a big payday. Leo breaks into tears, begging his mugger to end his life as he thought his luck couldn't get any worse, and being spoiled could only think of the now. Seeing this starving guy about the same age as him, trembling and crying like a small child, begging for death, you'd question what the hell you were doing (especially if you're Eddie, who, though being a mugger, was no full blown hardened criminal). Eddie spares him, gets him back on his feet, and decides for once in his life to help out another. Much to his chagrin, Leo proceeds to follow him about, treating him like a hero who will save him in his darkest hour. One can only imagine how embaressed a mugger would be to have bright pretty posh Leo about, acting like Eddie was going to teach him the ways of the streets. One can only imagine how annoyed he would be having Leo whining about how his hair is getting grimy, or that his clothes are dirty, or getting the homesick blues, or that the bowstring to his prized bow (that he paid GOOD MONEY for!) was getting loose. Eddie feels bad for the guy, but that still gets annoying.

They actually meet up with Miccy not many days after, and that's how it all goes down. Eddie helps keep the guy's spirits up (though he's not perfect with encouragement), and Nolan makes damn sure Leo's not whining at every moment. He expects Leo to toughen up if he wants to get out of this alive, you can't be running from military or fighting them off when you're worried about a hang nail-level of complaining.

Part 3, he's given a chance at his old life again, but opts to join the war willingly, as it's against those sub-human freaks (this is post-Ashnard Daien after all), and perhaps the fighting helped him violently vent his frustrations, all over an incredibly selfish and ignorant reason to go to war. Nolan was forced into it, and he will not tolerate such ignorance as Leo's commanding officer. In a way, you could consider Nolan Leo's father figure where his real father spoiled him without lifting a finger. Through these times, Nolan helps Leo mature as an adult, though Nolan can still see that nothing will change this young adult from being a softie. As long as he's not an ignorant ass though, it's fine he figures.

Part 4, his motives are out of betterment of himself through his maturing, and it becomes the same reason Nolan would. Even helps Eddie through it, as it's this time Eddie finds himself the one who's down and out. He's had only a taste of the normally life before the war of the laguz started, and it was only to be taken away, Eddie's only known survival. He's never had anything normal. Leo, being Eddie's buddy, keeps him encouraged, as it's only a little bit longer.

Audience: Awwwww...

I know I know, cool it.

1-P Talk with Eddie

Eddie: Hey, 'bout time! Where were you? Thought you ran off.

Leo: Sorry, got a bit caught in a moment. Good news though, I finally did it!

Eddie: ...Did what?

Leo: I did my first mugging!

Eddie: Oh, well cool! What'd you get, man?

Leo: I got this lovely green scaled shield. I think the front is spackled with some beautiful shimmering hade.

Eddie: ...Right. Hmm...Yeah, this is a nice find! I'd mistake it for an art piece...Wait, who'd you lift this off of?

Leo: Uhhh...

Eddie: ...!! Don't tell me... you didn't!

Leo: I just figured if I scared him from behind, I could lift it and run!

Eddie: Oh ge-, we gotta move! I can't believe you stole from a Begnion soldier!

Leo: I thought I was allowed to take from any-

Eddie: Later, we gotta run now! I swear, we end up dead...

Leo: I'm sorry...

Eddie: Quit moping, how many times I said we got to move?!

Leo: R-right! Sorry!

Eddie: Yeesh...

Death Quotes

Part 1: Why did it have to be like this? Why me?...

Part 3: I shouldn't have come out here...I don't belong....here..

Part 4: Mom...Dad...Are you proud of me?...

[Original Alear]

I like your Micaiah thing. Although I am sympathetic to Soul's defense that she is not so mary-sue as you claim her to be, I still think a twisted result such as the one you outlined would be entertaining. But I agree with above critiques of your Eddy. If you don't like the character, just get rid of him. There's no point in putting in a new character and claiming it's the same guy.

Not necessarily. There are plenty of protagonists out there that go about their ways in an underhanded manner. Delita from FFT is a nice example.

Delita isn't a protagonist. He's not even an antagonist IMO. He's an important character, but he's not who the story is centered around.

Hell. The whole point of the prologue of FFT is that Delita - whom history at the time of Alazam's story interprets as the hero of the era - isn't the protagonist!

(Heck, the whole game is a treasure trove of touches like this. It helps to compare it to Seisen no Keifu, by which I am almost completely sure it was influenced)

Seriously, all of sudden Sothe seems to be familiarized with every other ex-ally from FE9. How is that possible when he had only two supports and was an anti-social kid that didn't give damn about others aside Micaiah? He doesn't become THAT of a great friend with Tormod, they made it seem as if they were long time pals.

Hey, it's not like they did this only to Sothe. Plenty of characters who didn't even support in FE9 act chummy in 10 (for instance, Devdan's support with Largo seems to have brought him into the fold of all the CRKs). Is it really so hard to accept that during the war and the aftermath, the characters might have met each other once or twice besides in the support convos? I don't think this is such a big leap.

Yeah, he used to be a cool dude in FE9. What had him turn into a board. I won't rewrite his personality (carry it over from FE9, simple), but more look into how to have the situation have more an effect on him rather than just make him the hero of the story (which seemed out of left field).

I think the game needs to work a little more on the idea Sephiran drops at the end of FE9, that Ike will inspire "ugly ambition". Admittedly part 1 draws on the fallout of the takeover of Daien, but the influence of Ike in particular isn't really drawn on. (heck, if anything the message here is that it would've been better for crimea to rule than Begnion!) Then IIRC in 2-1 there's a line about "we should fight for crimea like Ike the patriot" and besides that there's nothing that I can think of.

You might ask of why out of all people he would bring to the desert? How did he know about Hatari? As a military man, he's had many chances to experience the world (it's not like he's a young guy). He's been to the mountain border of the desert, he's been into the desert (Nolan's that sort of "I climb the mountain because it is there" person), it was pure luck he found Hatari. Was greeted harshly, but Nailah as their queen let him free (I doubt Nailah would have someone killed just for being a stranger). As one of the few people in existence who even knows of Hatari's existence, and his contact with their leader, it was the easiest way to get people out of Daien and into safety in Nailah's land some years later (you get on royalty's good side, chances are you keep in touch).

Isn't Hatari an Arcadia style desert territory? I don't see why they would have been hostile to outsiders. (unless you're doing more rewrites?)

The do meet Pelleas and his crew in the desert to discover he is trying to muster up the forces to take back the kingdom of Daien (I'll explain him when I get to him). Of course he would join, he had never agreed with the occupation of Daien in the first place, much less allow it to become that deeply rooted. Would explain his motives in part 4, he's worked hard to set things right in Daien, and he'll be damned if some goofy magic goes and messes up the world just after! Nolan don't stand for that shit!

Hmm. Pelleas was one of the few interesting characters in this game. He's one of the few times I can think of where IS tried to make a character sympathetic and likeable without making him a gigantic badass who succeeds at doing everything. Why change him? Simply to explain part 3 in non "blood contract LOL do what begnion says even if you're nice" plot-jutsu?

Edited March 4, 2010 by SeverIan

[grandjackal]

I like your Micaiah thing. Although I am sympathetic to Soul's defense that she is not so mary-sue as you claim her to be, I still think a twisted result such as the one you outlined would be entertaining. But I agree with above critiques of your Eddy. If you don't like the character, just get rid of him. There's no point in putting in a new character and claiming it's the same guy.

Not so much him, as much as the design. It would be a bit easier if in his design, he wasn't looking innocent and beaming rainbow smiles.

Perhaps I could have...But that would involve scrapping Eddie, so no. Just imagine Eddie with a more slick expression than...What you're used to.

For I am God here, and I have spoken.

Delita isn't a protagonist. He's not even an antagonist IMO. He's an important character, but he's not who the story is centered around.

Hell. The whole point of the prologue of FFT is that Delita - whom history at the time of Alazam's story interprets as the hero of the era - isn't the protagonist!

(Heck, the whole game is a treasure trove of touches like this. It helps to compare it to Seisen no Keifu, by which I am almost completely sure it was influenced)

Yeah, perhaps that was a bad example.

Hey, it's not like they did this only to Sothe. Plenty of characters who didn't even support in FE9 act chummy in 10 (for instance, Devdan's support with Largo seems to have brought him into the fold of all the CRKs). Is it really so hard to accept that during the war and the aftermath, the characters might have met each other once or twice besides in the support convos? I don't think this is such a big leap.

Some are, but Sothe wasn't. For the most part, Sothe just sort of blows people off (and he basically finds Tormod a pest). The chumminess seems out of touch with Sothe, though I could see how he and Muarim would get along.

Cause he likes big guys with muscle, reminds him of Ike

I think the game needs to work a little more on the idea Sephiran drops at the end of FE9, that Ike will inspire "ugly ambition". Admittedly part 1 draws on the fallout of the takeover of Daien, but the influence of Ike in particular isn't really drawn on. (heck, if anything the message here is that it would've been better for crimea to rule than Begnion!) Then IIRC in 2-1 there's a line about "we should fight for crimea like Ike the patriot" and besides that there's nothing that I can think of.

I was HOPING they would expound on that, and was frustrated that they didn't. That's why I hate FE10's story doubly so, it took great build-up and then shat all over it.

Isn't Hatari an Arcadia style desert territory? I don't see why they would have been hostile to outsiders. (unless you're doing more rewrites?)

Arcadia was built with the intention of bringing harmony to human and dragon races, it was already built on the premise of peace. Hatari just happened to have beorc and laguz together, because they didn't give a fuck. Arcadia's had visitors before, Hatari hadn't. People in Hatari I could easily being a bit unsettled by a stranger just waltzing in from the desert. Luckily, Nailah's pretty laid back.

Hmm. Pelleas was one of the few interesting characters in this game. He's one of the few times I can think of where IS tried to make a character sympathetic and likeable without making him a gigantic badass who succeeds at doing everything. Why change him? Simply to explain part 3 in non "blood contract LOL do what begnion says even if you're nice" plot-jutsu?

He WAS at first, until the blood contract entered into it, then I stopped giving a shit because from there I felt he was just a moron. I already have a scenario in my head that I'm playing out, though I'm still not quite solid on it.

[Original Alear]

I was HOPING they would expound on that, and was frustrated that they didn't. That's why I hate FE10's story doubly so, it took great build-up and then shat all over it.

I don't go so far as to say I hate FE10, but I generally agree with you. I'd say FE9 had the best done story in a lot of ways, I think FE4+5's copious backstory and extra material might be superior, but in terms of the story in-game I think 9 was the best.

He WAS at first, until the blood contract entered into it, then I stopped giving a shit because from there I felt he was just a moron. I already have a scenario in my head that I'm playing out, though I'm still not quite solid on it.

I actually like Pelleas' goofy side at times.

Pelleas: So... I'm not Ashnard's true son?

Sephiran: No, you're not. Ashnard's son is of dragon tribe blood and is thus Branded.

Pelleas: I think I'm going to be ill...

Sephiran: Be assured that you were essential to Daein's reconstruction, which was a vital step toward waking the goddess. Fortunately, Izuka was able to use you to execute my plan.

Pelleas: You are going to pay! You are going to...BLAAARRRGH!

Puking in battle. Good times, good times.

Edited March 4, 2010 by SeverIan

[grandjackal]

I don't go so far as to say I hate FE10, but I generally agree with you. I'd say FE9 had the best done story in a lot of ways, I think FE4+5's copious backstory and extra material might be superior, but in terms of the story in-game I think 9 was the best.

FE5 did well to work with what it had. FE4? The only thing it had was the humongous amount of extra material after the fact, as in-game story it was...Well, delivered in an incredibly bland fashion (outside of that one part...You know what part I'm talking about).

I actually like Pelleas' goofy side at times.

Puking in battle. Good times, good times.

His clutziness is part of his charm, but it still seemed he was just stone cold stupid by part 3. Part 1, he was simply outvoiced by Miccy's "messanger from the goddess Yune". She was the inspiration of a nation at the time while Pelleas was just "dude trying to get the throne". It's fair enough, that was a flaw in his character that actually gave him depth. Part 3, he just shows he's an inept moron and it wasn't hard to see why no one was exactly thrilled by his presence. I felt that was a cop-out to further glorify Miccy (no stealing the spotlight from the hero), and it just reduced him to a bumbling idiot rather than just a weak-willed person trying to better himself, which would have made the latter goofiness charming rather than just stupid).

Moving on.

Laura

Currently: A religious girl who was used to draw the DB out into a trap, and a good friend of Aran's.

Rewrite: Still good friend to Aran, however, her character is never really expounded upon. I don't think she is that important to the group, or the storyline. Her character is really all she has, of which there is very little. We can easily assume she's a well-behaved religious girl from the slums of the capital (Relax, not going the Aeris route).

However, that would leave her scope of the world rather small, wouldn't it? Their church behaved rather well as to not piss off the occupation. She is not used as a trap in this version because Jarod is not Snidely Whiplash. Rather, as they were passing through the checkpoint, they were intercepted by his confidante Damian as they had sent for reinforcements from the attack as the group tried to push through (Laua having been with them as she noticed they were wounded on a passing by. Little did she know what she was getting into). A stroke of bad luck. She tried to help people who were down on their luck, she gets tossed in jail, where Sothe proceeds to bust them out (as he managed to flee, but couldn't rescue them then and there.), and they go off to Hatari in a rushed scurry. Laura as a priestess in training after they join with Pelleas's cause, keeps with them as to keep the spirits of the soldiers up through religion. However, the confounding thing is that the church worships Ashera, yet Miccy speaks of this "Yune". It is through Laura that the base is kept through the words of Ashera, as to not spread thoughts of being lead by a heretic and cause an uprising in their own army. The soldiers worship Miccy thinking she is rather the voice of Ashera (You think Sothe would let Miccy give rallying speeches to the soldiers? Her miracles are good enough), and that she merely chooses to call Ashera "Yune", as if being the direct voice of the goddess would allow the use of her first name.

Yet part 3, she is kept around as the army preacher. However, the war is unjust. It's savage, it's devoid of meaning. The horrible things that are done...One has to question faith eventually, especially after seeing the effects on the people in part 1. Slowly it wears on her, knowing she is part of the cause of needless suffering. How long could she keep this up? The soldiers fight not for country, but for the slaughter of "sub-humans", for personal gain, some forced against their will. Could all this really outdo the meaning of Ashera's teachings? Aran can only do his best to keep her spirit strong for the others, and only tenacity can push her forward now.

Part 4, the world is slowly draining itself of spirit and the chaos that is life. All withers slowly around her. It is her ultimate test of faith. She clings still, as there has to be a reason...

Part 3 Death Quote: Goddess...Why do you let this be? If you are to take my soul, then please...Give us a sign...

Part 4: Why must this be? ...It doesn't have to be, it shouldn't need to be...Is there no...

Aran

Currently: Laura's good friend, the personality brick wall that was forced to be a soldier under Begnion's command. The end.

Rewrite: What exactly was he doing before he was drafted? Was he just being a brick wall that follows Laura around? Of course not. They were good friends, it should only hold true that Aran is a religious man himself. In fact, was also training for the priesthood before Begnion had drafted him, an experience he finds to be miserable on his soul. As a guard to the prison, he did his best to ensure those imprisoned were not abused by these Begnion bloodhounds that dignify themselves with the title of military. He was punished for standing in their way on many occasions. Made an example of, beaten, they did whatever they thought it would take to get him to know his place, but he'd be damned if he let these prisoners (of whom could easily have been wrongfully accused) suffer more than they already were. He would not allow blood to be shed unless it was his own.

It was by pure luck that Laura and co. were imprisoned where he was stationed, but that just gave him more reason to flee with them. He was helping hte last of the prisoners escape, and though it weighed heavy in his heart to let the future prisoners suffer without any hope of a protector, he felt it was to be hopeless as they were threatening him with execution. He couldn't do anything more if he were dead. Yet, upon meeting Pelleas and his cause, the question came to him. Could he cause bloodshed to save a nation? If he did nothing, people would suffer still under Begnion occupation. If he joined the fight, he would be part of the cause of bloodshed, life would be taken by his actions. Stuck at a crossroads, he made the only decision that could make even the slightest of sense to him, as he could not stand by and let these atrocities continue. He would fight, but he would not kill. He would only attempt to render whoever stood in his way unconcious or incapable of fighting back. With the broad powerful thwacks of the blunt end of his spear to the heads of his enemies, he was jokingly given the nickname Helm Splitter by his fellow soldiers. Joke all they want, he did not kill a single person. All those brought down by him were kept prisoners until after the fact. By the retaking of Daien, he was made a templar as an honor. Seeing he could police the streets with his non-lethal force while keeping the faith as a preacher, he took the offer. Strange how the spear training had paid off in the end to give him a great standing as a newly made templar of Daien. He would ensure that he, Laura, and the small place he grew up in would never be poor again.

He did not see the sudden war of the laguz coming. As templar, he was a solider, and he had no choice but to take part in it. He had thought the bloodshed was over, but time can make fools out of anyone. He did not share in the bloodlust of his fellow soldiers, nor as a commanding officer would he stand for such animalistic behavior. If they were to call laguz "sub-human", then they should not act as such. While Nolan knew that letha force could not be avoided, Aran still refused. He was taught the proper ways, and he was not about to go back on it. The soldiers couldn't take him seriously at the time, and they outright refused Aran's commands. However, if they were not to obey then fine. He could only show through example.

He did what he could to keep Laura's will strong, to be strong himself to show that she isn't alone, that there is still good in the world, even if at times it just seemed like him. By part 4, it was all the hope she had. He had to be strong for her sakes, and yet those he fought were blind zealots at this point. How is it that those of the same teachings could be led to such hunger for war? Could bloodshed be justified in the name of the goddess? He would not match their zealotous conviction, and simply led his own. He and Laura whether it to the end.

After the war, both are graced as heroes of the people. Aran the Merciful and Laura the Steadfast. Though upon returning home they were met with cheer and the herald of heroes, but they had no cause for that. They didn't do it for the applause, or the title. They didn't want the cheer, so they opted to return to a quiet life. Aran stays a templar, acting as police for the city, and keeping the faith strong through his merciful yet swift actions, being an inspiration to budding knights, and used his more than needed pay for the sake of the small place he grew up in, where Laura stays as a preacher to their old small church. There was no excitement in it, but they've seen enough of that in one lifetime. All saw fit to leave these two to their own lives as they settled down. It was a boring existence for them. Boring, btu peaceful. they'd have it no other way.

Speaking of epilogues, forgot one for Nolan, Eddie and Leo. In a way, he keeps in touch as sort of a father figure, though at their age he couldn't consider himself to be taking the role as an actual father. They had their own lives, and he kept as their good friend who saw them both through thick and thin, and perhaps enlightened them. Nolan sat up shot as a merchant as to keep out of war but still get paid, while still satisfying his love of travel. Leo was offered back his royal house, and gladly accepted it back as having a voice of power in the realm. With his greater sense of being, having gotten from his sudden life experience, he was a voice of purity in the government of Daien as a lord. However, he still preferred the pampered lifestyle, as life of a rag-tag still made him uneasy. Still, it was his call and not his, so it's not like he will treat peasants and commoners like trash. He has learned better, he simply just disagrees. Eddie on the other hand joined as an enforcer of the law, no longer able to think himself a criminal now that he's had a chance at a normal life for once. He was nothing special, but as long as he didn't have to threaten taking someone's life again, he wouldn't care. The three keep in touch, and have otherwise supported eachother when and where they could. Consider it brotherly love.

[Original Alear]

FE5 did well to work with what it had. FE4? The only thing it had was the humongous amount of extra material after the fact, as in-game story it was...Well, delivered in an incredibly bland fashion (outside of that one part...You know what part I'm talking about).

That's what I was trying to say, FE4 has good story if you look at all the extra-game stuff, but the game itself is kind of meh story a fair amount of the time. (though both it and FE5 hit atmosphere on the head)

The only think I found kind of interesting to think about in FE4 was the huge spans of time between chapters. Each chapter represents little moments of significance interspersed between years of administration, troops movements etc, negotation. (at least from chapter 1 to chapter 5, don't think that's the case for part 2??)

I felt that was a cop-out to further glorify Miccy (no stealing the spotlight from the hero), and it just reduced him to a bumbling idiot rather than just a weak-willed person trying to better himself, which would have made the latter goofiness charming rather than just stupid).

Having him give his life in part 3 and fail to actually save Daien is also major fail material. If they had mucked around with the plot a bit, I think they could have made his death be a little more meaningful. (though since saving pelleas feels like the "best" option, maybe the point is that killing him won't help so don't kill him).

Another thing. I think Aran could use a slightly redone battle sprite...his lack of face/hair makes his sprite look a lot more generic than most.

As a guard to the prison, he did his best to ensure those imprisoned were not abused by these Begnion bloodhounds that dignify themselves with the title of military. He was punished for standing in their way on many occasions. Made an example of, beaten, they did whatever they thought it would take to get him to know his place, but he'd be damned if he let these prisoners (of whom could easily have been wrongfully accused) suffer more than they already were. He would not allow blood to be shed unless it was his own.

My only problem with this is that it calls into question why they kept him as a soldier or as a guard...I mean, what, they're gonna let the guy who has a seemingly indomitable will keep a weapon and be an ear in their forces?

Better if he was a sympathizer in secret who does what he can without being caught. Maybe have him free miccy and the rest from jail and start as a blue unit - this would give him a bit more of a central role in this chapter, instead of going almost unnoticed.

Edited March 7, 2010 by SeverIan

[grandjackal]

Having him give his life in part 3 and fail to actually save Daien is also major fail material. If they had mucked around with the plot a bit, I think they could have made his death be a little more meaningful. (though since saving pelleas feels like the "best" option, maybe the point is that killing him won't help so don't kill him).

Could still make his death meaningful. I'll have to see hwo well it works out for him though.

Another thing. I think Aran could use a slightly redone battle sprite...his lack of face/hair makes his sprite look a lot more generic than most.

Yet you have ignored what makes him unique among the force. He's a boring person in personality, it would make sense he would go for practicality, as he is the only one on the force who invested effort into a friggin' helmet!

My only problem with this is that it calls into question why they kept him as a soldier or as a guard...I mean, what, they're gonna let the guy who has a seemingly indomitable will keep a weapon and be an ear in their forces?

They knew of his refusal to kill due to his religion. As far as they were concerned, it was like keeping another Daien prisoner to beat. It's not like he wasn't a thorn in their side still, they were starting to threaten him with execution.

Better if he was a sympathizer in secret who does what he can without being caught. Maybe have him free miccy and the rest from jail and start as a blue unit - this would give him a bit more of a central role in this chapter, instead of going almost unnoticed.

Ok, that does sound simpler and frankly a lot better. Perhaps I was going a bit too over the top with it.

Let's hope I don't do that again. Ehh, who am I kidding, I'm sure it's going to happen again.

Pelleas

Currently: He was I'm assuming (if I remember correctly) a fellow urchin who was given delusions of granduer when Izuka and the "mother" made claim that he was the son of Ashnard, and was also a spirit charmer. He was a weak willed human being who was outshined by Micaiah's light during the war campaign to get himself on the throne. He tried to be, but he wasn't what one would call an inspiring leader. He tries to do better, but he is clueless as to how he can do this. He's never had to deal with something so huge, it's all too much for the guy. So far, we have a genuinely interesting character.

Then he became king and signed the blood contract (or as I like to call it, the Cop-Out Clause). There is absolutely no reason he should have signed that. His reasoning is so stupid that when he requests you kill him to sever the contract, for a brief moment you'd be happy to oblige him. It felt like the utter destruction of his character. From there on, he continues to seem like a clumsy nitwit. It would have been fine, but it seems more like it's due to him being a moron than a feeble person. This leaves me with a task of having to fix that entire blood contract nonsense.

Rewrite: Ok, Pelleas was still an urchin fooled into thinking he is the prince. However, now how does one explain why he starts the war in part 3? The answer is Izuka. No, he was not the typical voice behind the throne, he was simply the catalyst.

One thing the game doesn't do is delve into the lore of spirit charmers. We know that one must make a pact with the spirits to become a charmer, strenghthening one's magical capabilities, and is given a mark upon themselves. However, what does that entail? How does is make the magic one wields stronger? Well, let me give my thoughts. Perhaps the spirits are the chaos of life. A spirit is free to do as it pleases, as it is not limited by the laws of reality. A charmer is free to utilize these spirits to concentrate the chaos as a form of raw magic. In exchange, the spirits feed off the charmer's own spirit, slowing killing them until their spirit is nothing more than a withered husk. That is, unless chaos can be fed to it (this is why dark magic is painful, it tears and devours the target's soul). Now, this isn't the reason he started the war. You have to think why Pelleas would chose to do this. He's a talentless poor sod who was living the streets. The fact he found out about it is nothing short of miraculous, and he chose to do because, foolish him, thought it would give him someone to talk to (someone being the spirits). He had no one, he figured no one would care for a ratty bum, things only serving to get worse with the occupation, Pelleas was on the edge of his own oblivion. It was the only thing he could do to keep himself sane. As much as the spirits desired for the souls of others, he did well to resist falling prey to their will. This is why he seems so feeble, and the chaos driven up by the war was what had bolstered his own will, though he was probably too foolish to realize it. This is the same chaos that drives the Fire Emblem, and this is the energy it absorbs from all things once activated.

Revert to part 3 with this in mind, and remember Izuka's elixer of madness. Pelleas had been poisoned discretely, and it was only through the force of the still chaotic spirits that kept him concious, but his mind was still losing it from the elixer's effects. After all, it was so sudden a decision. It was for a brief moment that only the spirits had control of him. As the war continued, the chaos stirred had caused his own spirit to strengthen, as the pact would rule. It is at it's peak that he has a brief moment of clarity and realizes what he's doing. This is where his request to kill him comes in. This time not as an idiot who made the dumbest mistake ever, but as a man who had lost his mind who for a brief moment of lucidity realizes and knows he must pay for the crimes he has allowed to be committed.

If you chose not to kill him, he is basically made to keep himself sequestered. It is when Nailah comes in with Raphael and the galdr Raphael sings to calm the Fire Emblem that purges the madness from Pelleas. Of course, he claims you should have killed him like the mad dog he was, as he's basically lost all will to live. Taur had basically been the aide to Pelleas's rule, as Taur tried to keep the atrocities to a minimum despite being powerless to overall stop it. If Pelleas was to be king, Tauroneo would have no part in seeing his king weep in self-pity. The world's soul is being ripped out, and Taur demands that if Pelleas wishes to die, he best first fix the mess he has made. But if he still had the will to live, the only option is to better himself. He is king! He can't afford to be weak at a time of crisis. Taur demands he proves himself, and Pelleas can only oblige. It was his mess after all. To leave it in ruin would be the greatest crime of all.

After all is said and done, he still felt he was unable to lead, nor could he do with the crimes he had committed. He may have tried to rectify what he had done, but it wasn't enough for him. He was not fit to be king, and he gives up his rule...To who? We'll get to that. As for he, he lived out in solitude, away from the people he had brought nightmares to. The spirits slowly ate away at his spirit. One way or another, he did not have long to live...

Izuka

Currently: He was a mad scientist who worked for Begnion in order to have Pelleas sign Daien over to Begnion. This is not only a cop-out (Izuka is not the most trustworthy person, and Pelleas could nto have been that stupid), it doesn't explain what Izuka was doing working for Daien in the first place under Ashnard.

Rewrite: Izuka was also a spirit charmer, but unlike Pelleas, he was more than willing to stir up what he needed to live. The man was brilliant no doubt, but his thirst for chaos was nearing madness (which explains a lot of his behavior). He worked under Ashnard because Ashnard was a murderous psychopath of a king, Izuka doing his part to make the war bloodier through the elixer of madness only further fed his thirst. He had orignally became a spirit charmer for the study of magic, and how the charming of spirits heightened capabilities. As time went on, his brilliance faded into something wicked.

He had no care in getting a Daien onto the throne, he just did what he needed to to cause more chaos. It's why he poisoned Pelleas. All the hell that's happened across Tellius can be pinned on Izuka as the cause. It's strange, as without him, Daien could not have overthrown the occupation of Begnion, which everyone can agree was inept and tyrannical. His thirst for the spilling of blood led to the return of an independent Daien. Weird how some things can work out like that.

Of course he chose Pelleas, but he could have chosen anybody and fooled Amhelda. He knew Pelleas was a spirit charmer, but it didn't matter as the mark on him was obvious, which he used to fool Amhelda easily. It's not like it mattered, he was going to poison the fool for his own means. He hadn't thought that the spirits would have kept him concious, but he was still going berserk. He was planning to keep the king in an "ill" status to do it himself, but this was even better than he had planned. He didn't even have to raise his voice, Pelleas did it all himself.

By part 4, the chaos that was in the atmosphere as it was slowly being drawn towards Begnion strenghtened and satiated the thirst of his pact. He wanted to keep things as such. It was the first time in a long time he had felt the light of sanity, lucid clarity. He was in a panic, thus why he was so disturbed when he was apprehended in the swamp.

However, he actted like he knew Volke. How? Well, how do you think Izuka got his position as lead scientist for Daien? He simply had Volke remove the first one. He even bragged offing the guy about it to Ashnard, who probably was impressed enough by such actions and behavior over it to give him the position. What did Ashnard care what Izuka did afterwards? Man was brilliant, why stop him from doing what he wants? Such is the way of Ashnard, and no one embodied it better than Izuka.

Amhelda

Currently: The widow of Ashnard after a forced marriage, as she was originally in Daien to see Rajion wed Ena. We know how well that worked out, and in the middle of the mess, Ashnard took what he wanted, to conquer a laguz of dragon's blood and claim her as his own. When she had given birth to her branded child and lost her powers, Ashnard had lost interest almost instantly and binned her. She kept around as an aide, as to watch over her son, yet Ashnard tossed the child out as he had no care for an heir, for his ideals of rule were not forged by blood lineage. Amhelda had no idea what had happened to her son, and through all these tragedies ws driven to grief. It doesn't take a genius to realize that all this could have caused her some developed mental problems, thus when Izuka discovered her "son" (for it was Izuka who had been the one giving orders on where to remove the child to, or so he claimed), she was all too willing to accept. She protected her "son" from anything negative, as if to make up for the years of forced abandonment, making sure Pelleas didn't have to lift a finger or voice any sort of complaint himself. When it came to his death, it lead to what seemed like the start of Amhelda's final moments. During part 4, she seems...Lost. She's not mad with grief, weeping...She just seems like she's already dying on the inside. It's these moments she realizes Pelleas was not her son, she tries to make amends for protecting Pelleas at times he most deserved criticism, and at her last moments finds Soren, and sees the face of her true son before passing on.

...Wait, this already sounds good. Yeah, Amhelda is one of the few solid story characters in the game, and quite a tragic one at that. Just to explain a few loose details.

Rewrite: Simply her grieving had already started when Pelleas had gone mad, it was like reliving the rule of Ashnard, though luckily without all the rape and the loss of a child. When Pelleas dies, it is there she starts to die slowly from the sheer weight of it all. If Pelleas doesn't die, it's when the world starts to lose it's spirit that she starts to lose her life, as hers by far the weakest after all her trials. Yet in the calm as the spirits whirl towards Begnion her mind slowly loses what has pained her and for her final moments of clear thought tries to amend all the troubles she has caused, along with apologizing for what has happened to him. Reason being, the spiritual atmosphere effects laguz the most. The loss of soul greatly effects them, as else they would be animals, spirit is what allows them to keep a human form. It's akin to losing the ability for concious thought and depending on it to not be dead, and since a lot of it was riddled with pain and grief, the slow sapping of it gave her a final moment of peace before her soul was lost, and passed on.

[Original Alear]

My only thought on the blood contract is that eliminating it from Pelleas' story means we may need some kind of explanation for Ashnard's method of killing the Daien royal line and for Naesalea's various betrayals of the laguz

I actually suspect that Naes having a blood contract w/ begnion was retconned in, because it is an attempt to excuse his actions that doesn't quite work. Although it works for explaining his attack on Phoenicis, it doesn't redeem him at all for a lot of what he did during FE9 (working with Daein and selling reyson), unless the . But the dialogue of FE9 makes him more of a "I'll do anything to empower kilvas by getting us money" and why would he bother making that excuse if it was begnion influence causing him to do it?

This brings up what I believe to be a major plot hole. Naesalea worked for Daien after Begnion allied with Crimea. With the exception of Lehran, the begnion senators would at this point want to defeat Daien and annex it rather than have it fight back. And it seems like Lekain and the other major begnion senators are the ones who orchestrated the blood pacts.

This is not only a cop-out (Izuka is not the most trustworthy person, and Pelleas could nto have been that stupid), it doesn't explain what Izuka was doing working for Daien in the first place under Ashnard.

I don't think this really needs to be explained. First off, he may not have become a begnion agent until after FE9. I do admit that izuka is a little over-the-top evil at times, and it's hard to believe even pelleas would have gone along with him.

The widow of Ashnard after a forced marriage, as she was originally in Daien to see Rajion wed Ena.

Not quite right...? Rajaion is captured after Ashnard, it's not like Almedha was trying to rescue Rajaion. Hey, I'm not a big ashnard fan but Almedha describes it as "mutual attraction". Almedha was rather focused on power, so I don't actually think it was a non-consensual sex. (they were also never actually married) But not a big point of your rewrite so it shouldn't matter.

[grandjackal]

My only thought on the blood contract is that eliminating it from Pelleas' story means we may need some kind of explanation for Ashnard's method of killing the Daien royal line and for Naesalea's various betrayals of the laguz

Simple. How did Greil know about Volke?

I actually suspect that Naes having a blood contract w/ begnion was retconned in, because it is an attempt to excuse his actions that doesn't quite work. Although it works for explaining his attack on Phoenicis, it doesn't redeem him at all for a lot of what he did during FE9 (working with Daein and selling reyson), unless the . But the dialogue of FE9 makes him more of a "I'll do anything to empower kilvas by getting us money" and why would he bother making that excuse if it was begnion influence causing him to do it?

This brings up what I believe to be a major plot hole. Naesalea worked for Daien after Begnion allied with Crimea. With the exception of Lehran, the begnion senators would at this point want to defeat Daien and annex it rather than have it fight back. And it seems like Lekain and the other major begnion senators are the ones who orchestrated the blood pacts.

The blood pact was stupid overall, and 'd be happy to fix it. You'll see when the time comes.

I don't think this really needs to be explained. First off, he may not have become a begnion agent until after FE9. I do admit that izuka is a little over-the-top evil at times, and it's hard to believe even pelleas would have gone along with him.

It helps though, and I was able to at least explain his weird behavior.

Not quite right...? Rajaion is captured after Ashnard, it's not like Almedha was trying to rescue Rajaion. Hey, I'm not a big ashnard fan but Almedha describes it as "mutual attraction". Almedha was rather focused on power, so I don't actually think it was a non-consensual sex. (they were also never actually married) But not a big point of your rewrite so it shouldn't matter.

Captured after Ashnard? No, she wasn't there to rescue Rajion, she was there to see the marriage of Rajion and Ena. Things just...happened to go awry.

Unless I'm remembering things incorrectly.

And fine, she was willing, doesn't change much as you say.

[Original Alear]

Where in either game does it imply that Rajaion and Ena were being married in Daien, or that she was there to see them get married?

I'm not asking in a "critical" way. I've honestly never heard of this before.

From what I understand, Rajaion did not leave Goldoa until he went to rescue his sis from Ashnard, so it would be impossible for Almedha to get captured while visiting Daien to see Raj get married.

I know this doesn't have much to do with your rewrite, but I just feel like when I have a different take on a story from another person, 1: the other person's misunderstandings of stories should be "repaired" by my understanding, 2: my misunderstanding of stories gets "fixed" to accord more with the other person's understanding, or 3: we should come to a point where we recognize the story is unclear or ambiguous, and neither reading of it is a misreading.

Edited March 8, 2010 by SeverIan

[grandjackal]

*Scratches head* Perhaps it's me forgetting some details about FE9 and 10, as it's been a while. It wasn't really clear why Raj or Ena were in Daien, as I don't recall them ever even mentioning that fact. I knew the two were in love and that Amhelda was related to Raj, so that's how I made the connection. Then again, I'm a scatterbrain, so there's that issue.

I will not touch on the veterans outside of when I get to later points when it needs to be pointed out (Haar would better tell the importance of Shihiharam as to better explain the great pride of Jill's character, Taur's importance I will mention later, and Zihark...I'm going to surprise you with him. Meg is too simple, I will explain Fiona later, again a surprise with that one). For now...

Vika

Currently: Just some...Raven chick who works under Tormod and Muarim for the LEA. Nothing about her is known, except that perhaps she's paranoid of branded.

Rewrite: Come on IS, could you expand on her personality a bit? Could you even point us in a general direction?

I'd imagine that as an LEA laguz, she possibly could have been a former slave laguz in Begnion, but who said all LEA laguz were former slaves? There easily could have been those who joined for the cause to free their enslaved people. However, what drives her then? Not all laguz are fighting for this cause, clearly, so what reason is there? Doesn't seem she has enslaved relatives. She doesn't even remotely freak out or react in a way to signify she has any connection to Naesala, or any royal for that matter. It doesn't seem she's a close friend to either Tormod or Muarim. What personal reason could she have? Well, I suppose that we'll have to explore her personality then.

How do we come up with that? Well, lessee...Vika's starting inventory is an herb, a concoction, and olivi grass. Her magic growth is bizarrely high for a laguz. She looks baked every minute of the day. I can instantly claim she's a stoner of sorts. No other laguz has this sort of drug-heavy loadout at their start, not even part 3 laguz who are at FULL BLOWN WAR. If I wanted a sort of mind-numbing substance, one of those times I would imagine is during the worst injuries of war. However, her loadout for her predicament is just overkill. Total stoner.

This could lead me to believe she is a slacker of sorts, and only joined the LEA as a shallow sign of support, without realizing she would have to be put to work. You could mistake her baked expression for the sort of "I don't care" look. Lazy, shallow, not looking to be the most popular character out there, aside from her looks.

However, there inlies another strange trait of hers. Her clothes and apparel are of surprising quality compared to other laguz, who look to be wearing something akin to uniform, or are just civilian wear, or even rather ragtag. Vika's clothes actually seem rich style. Only laguz that are more richly clothed are Naesala (certainly looks expensive), Nailah (though I'm sure most of that was just offered as tribute to Hatari's ruler and resident awesome person), and Kurth (who looks princely enough). Even Tibarn seems like an unwashed pirate in comparison, and that dude's supposed to be a king! This could lead to two things. 1. She's the heir of a high standing raven laguz family. This is impossible, because laguz don't give a shit about royalty except who's on top, the king and/or queen. This can only lead to 2. She was raised by beorc. Rich beorc. Beorc that spoiled her.

Luckily, she did not go for the bitchy princess stereotype (Clarine), but rather the runaway who wanted to avoid responsibility (like Joshua, except replace gambling with drugs and laziness, and that unlike Joshua, she might not have wanted to go back). Consider Muarim and Tormod dragging her with them as a way to sort of force her into the seriousness of the situation. They weren't going to deal with this sort of behavior in the cause, and this was the disciplinary action. She was only there for part 1, but remember she sees action in part 4 when the world's soul is basically being ripped out of itself. For some people, it takes a great shock to knock some sense into someone, and upon seeing the world could basically end in a blink, she learns a better appreciation of things. Perhaps she could do little at that point, but it's a lesson she'll take to heart. After the war, she takes duty a bit more seriously for the LEA, and has been noted to have the stupidest, laziest rescue attempt they had ever heard of: Flying enslaved laguz to freedom from out the window, out in hte open air where any sort of archer or mage could open fire at her from ground to air. Sheer luck, but it worked. She might be actually trying now, but she's still a jackass.

She wasn't an important character to the story by any means, but would it hurt her to try?

Nailah

Currently: As far as we can tell, she is just the resident badass of Hatari. The word queen is mentioned, but I hardly doubt she gives a damn about the title. Not much is known about her, so how about we liven up my favorite character?

Rewrite: First off, how she became "queen". By laguz standards, you become leader by being the best. We can see she is obviously the best, but what of the beorc of Hatari? We know they've shared an existence over the times, and had no clue of the discrimination that took place with the rest of the continent. However, would the beorc be bothered by having a leader chosen this way? Possibly not, and it leads me to believe that Nailah's people are quite similar to pack animals. She is their alpha. Her presence is powerful, she is dressed in clothes finer than most even in the "outer world" despite living in a resource-lacking desert to make such things, she has a harem (don't even tell me Volug and Raphael do not constitute as her bitches. Upon discovering her, you find her with a half naked Volug along with Raphael of whom you heard "singing". Yes, how she met Raphael was a situation in itself, but that doesn't mean Raphael can't be her bitch. She is highly protective of him, as she probably prizes him as her finest one).

It doesn't take a genius to tell you that Nailah is incredibly laid back, and perhaps even a slight bit perverted (she almost gets Tibarn out of his pants in the middle of battle, Nailah's not only easy to distract, she's got game to distract a bloodlust-frenzied Tibarn. That is, if I'm reading that quote from 3-E correctly, which I would find it hard to believe I wouldn't be. You find her with Volug AND Raphael...Just afterwards). Her attitude seems to just be "Long as you don't wreck the place and piss people off, I don't care what you do.". It makes one wonder how she became head of her pack in the first place. My guess is someone tried to make themselves head of the pack, she didn't care to obey, they tried to make her, and it didn't work out so well. It made a natural progression from there.

Nailah seems even unphased by the events of part 4. She'd have no reason to be though. Problem starts, she goes to fix the problem, problem solved, things are back to being peaceful, where she is then free to live her days easy, trouble free, and in the company of her menwhores. Nailah's an incredibly basic character, but she's basic in all honesty. I can hardly imagine what it'd be like if she made goodwill tours with the rest of the continent. She'd probably not give a damn, so Hatari still remained relatively unnoticed by the rest of the continent even afterwards.

As for Nolan's encounter with Hatari, she's pretty much the reason Nolan is alive. Hatari's not used to outsiders, and easily found Nolan out of place. Nailah kept her pack from turning Nolan into bloody sand because she saw no reason they had to kill him. Nolan thanked her for her mercy, as I doubt anyone would have the confidence to crush a whole primitive laguz pack by themselves, especially when Nailah's in it. Nolan was the adventuring intellectual type, and was quite interested in the civilization where he stayed for some time, keeping on the good side of the alpha of the pack. He made note that he would return to visit, Nailah of which was indifferent. When Nolan one visit returned with refugees requesting to give them refuge, she had no reason not to. By the end of the wars though, she probably saw the increased population too troublesome and simply had them sent back. Was the first time the rest of the world had major contact with the wolves of Hatari outside of Volug. They thanked her for giving them shelter in their hour of need, Nailah was indifferent. Well, she was unless it involved gifts of food. Treasures she didn't care for unless it really caught her eye, and no one offered their sons to her harem, so food was the best she could hope for out of these uptight "proper beorc". These were post-Ashnard Daiens as well, so I'm sure she had to show a lot of them to know their place. They will go home verily different people. Nailah's thoughts on this issue: Indifferent. They should have just loosened up.

Glare? Eh, I could make claim that it's a curse, or she just has a horrifying disfigurement under that eye-scarf, but I prefer to say she just has a glare that projects enough badassery to indefinitely freeze a sucker in-place out of heart-exploding fear.

You do not fuck with Nailah.

[Victor Fang]

I guess that's a perspective on Micky...