Ein's FE7 PMU playthrough with unfunny humor.

[Ein]

Alright now the beginning of Ein's "Pick My Unit for Funsies" run.

Stuff:

I'll be playing Lyn's mode and Hector Normal Mode.

I'll be going to every chapter and attempt to recruit every playable character but I can't because of different paths and some junk.

I'll be using some characters who were not chosen if I fee I need a little extra muscle. I won't be using these peeps very long in the long run. Ha alliteration. I think. Anyway.

I will be using the three Lords. And Florina because yes.

The chosen units:

Generic Officer's: Isadora AKA GO's FE7 waifu. /teehee

Furetchen the scary man's: Dorcas the Slow Gazelle

Emerald's: Fiora the worst older big sister ever. But not really.

Emerald's again: Serra the... I dunno. She's cute and fun and funny. Do not argue this for you shall only lose to my HEROes.

black.ops' : Rebecca fellow member of three FE7 lolis. ...What?

black.ops' again: Legault the possibly homosexual Thief because he totally wants Heath. And I don't blame him either. It's Heath.

eranjial's: Canas Major. Get it?

eclipse-sama's: Pent the guy who steals my experience if I don't have Florina/Fiora rescue his ass. Jerk... At least he's AWESOME.

Nilsnian because I forgot they even existed because they are just that interesting. I may not even use him/her.

Anyway. This will be a place holder of sorts until I actually start playing. Should be fun.

AUTHOR'S NOTE!

I'm gonna be using the script resource thing so credit to whoever did that. :3

Edited November 3, 2011 by Ein Silver Rose

[Ein]

Blah blah. Naming the All-Important-Tactician bit.

His name is Ein. AT least I think he's male... The Tactician is rather androgynous. Yeah.

Also he was born some time in August for the awesome affinity of DARKNESS! So those Tactician bonuses will be very helpful. If they even exist.

ADVENTURE BEGINNING!

Prologue: A Girl From the Plains

???:

Are you awake?

Ein:

(Huh!? Uh... My head... Why does it feel like I fell through some kind of gap with a bunch of eyes that keep looking at you funny? Uwah! Pretty girl! This is... Odd...)

Girl:

I found you unconscious on the plains.

Ein:

(You what now? Okay... Now I am confuzzled. Wait just a moment... I can't speak! (upside down question mark) POR QUE?)

Lyn:

I am Lyn, of the Lorca tribe. Youre safe now. Who are you? Can you remember your name?

Ein:

(Lyn huh? Nice name Lyn. :)

Lorca Tribe? Sounds familiar. Oh right. My name)

"My name is Ein"

(WHOA! Why was able to speak now?! Come on vocal cords! Work! WORK!)

Lyn:

Your name is Ein? What an odd-sounding name...

Ein:

(Hey... That's not very nice...)

Lyn:

But pay me no mind. It is a good name. I see by your attire that you are a traveler. What brings you to the Sacae plains? Would you share your story with me?

Ein:

(Oh yeah. Well then I was--

Lyn:

Hm? What was that noise? Ill go see whats happening. Ein, wait here for me.

Ein:

(But- I- Okay...)

(Lyn runs out of the house, then runs back in)

Lyn:

Oh no! Bandits! They must have come down from the Bern mountains!

Ein:

(OH NOES!)

Lyn:

They must be planning on raiding the local villages. I... I have to stop them! If thats all of them, I think I can handle them on my own. Youll be safe in here, Ein.

Ein:

(Wait. What? Okay sure.)

Lyn:

What? You want to help? Well, can you use a weapon?

Ein:

(I can't use a weapon because I have no overworld sprite arms ;~;

I boss people around with MY ALL SEEING EYES.)

Lyn:

Ah, I see... So youre a strategist by trade? An odd profession, but... Very well. Well go together!

Ein:

(VERY WELL!)

Lyn:

Over here! If you want to help, Ein, I could use your advice. Ill protect you, so stay close to me.

Ein:

(Yeah I can do--How close? I don't wanna to be too close! >___>)

I this point I take control of the game because that's what I do. I have Lyn book it to the mountains up North and the Bandit suicide because there's no way he can hit her. After doing that Lyn attacks that one guy and he goes down even though Lyn takes a hit but a Vulnary heals up that gaping axe wound just fine.

Lyn:

Good work, Ein! Lets go home.

Ein:

(DAMN I'M GOOD! /Read this in Mortal Kombat 9's Johnny Cage's voice. Do it!)

(Next day)

Lyn:

Good morning, Ein! Are you awake yet? That fight yesterday must have taken a lot out of you.

Ein:

(You fought and killed two Bandits... >_>)

Lyn:

Say, Ein... I want to talk to you about something. You have some experience in the ways of war, I can see. Would you allow me to travel with you?

Ein:

(Wha... This the first time I've done this! Sigh... Sure why not?)

(Short pause)

Lyn:

What? You... want me to get permission from my parents?

(Short pause, presumably because Lyn is reminiscing)

Ein:

(I never said that! Besides how old are you? You look like you're in your mid twenties.

*Plays Brawl to look up the Lyn trophy*

15?! What the hell Japan! BLARGH!!!)

Lyn:

My mother and my father... died six months ago. My peoplethe Lorcathey dont... Im the last of my tribe. Bandits attacked, and... they killed so many people. The tribe was shattered. My father was our chieftain, and I tried to protect our people. But Im so young, and our people were old-fashioned. They wouldnt follow a woman. No one would follow me. Sniff... Im sorry. Ive been alone for so long... No. No more. I will shed no more tears. ... ... ... ...

(Short pause)

Ein:

(Uh...)

Lyn:

Thank you. Im better now. Ein, I want I must become stronger, so that I may avenge my fathers death! Yesterdays battle taught me something. I wont become stronger by sitting here alone. Ein, tell me youll train me, that youll let me travel with you!

Ein:

(So killing two Bandits does that? Cool...? >___>)

(Short pause)

Lyn:

You will? Thats just wonderful! Thank you! Oh, thank you! Well be better off working together, I know it. Youll be my master strategist, and Ill be your peerless warrior! We can do it! Right?

Ein:

(Of course we can! I think. Maybe? Yeah we can. So long as we get more people and preferably an adorable Pegasus Knight. Yeah... Wait. How do I know this already? Oh well. ONWARDS TOWARDS VICTORY!)

Edited October 31, 2011 by Ein Silver Rose

[Ein]

Chapter 1: Footsteps of Fate

Lyn:

Ein! Over here! This is Bulgar, the biggest city in all of Sacae. We should purchase supplies for our journey.

Ein:

(Oh really? I've seen bigger. I suppose we should resupply. Wait... Do we even have any money?)

???:

Oh, my heart! What a dazzling vision of loveliness!

Ein:

(Whoever this is they have a way with words.)

Lyn:

Hm?

Sain:

Wait, O beauteous one! Would you not favour me with your name? Or better yet, your company?

Ein:

(Dude... That was lame...)

Lyn:

Where are you from, sir knight, that you speak so freely to a stranger?

Sain:

Ha! I thought youd never ask. I am from Lycia. I hail from the Caelin canton, home to men of passion and fire!

Ein:

(Fire-esque passion eh? Sounds sexy.)

Lyn:

Shouldnt that be home to callow oafs with loose tongues?

Sain:

Ooooh... Youre even lovely when youre cruel.

Ein:

(Oh God, Sain is a maso!)

Lyn:

Lets go, Ein. I've nothing more to say.

Ein:

(Lyn you suck. He was just trying to get into your pants--Er... Your... Whatever the hell you wear I dunno.)

Sain:

Wait! Please...

Kent:

Sain! Hold your tongue!

Ein:

(Why am I still here? I thought I was with Lyn. Meh. I'll listen to these two for a while.)

Sain:

Ah, Kent! My boon companion! Why so severe an expression?

Kent:

If your manner were more serious, I wouldnt have to be so severe! We still have a mission to complete, Sain!

Sain:

I know that. But how could I remain silent in the presence of such beauty? It would have been discourteous!

Kent:

What do you know about courtesy!?

Ein:

(Hm... So Sain is a horn dog and mostly likely a virgin while Kent is a hardass who is most likely a virgin. Sounds like a good duo.)

Lyn:

Excuse me! Youre blocking the road. If you would be so kind as to move your horses...

Kent:

Of course. My apologies...

Lyn:

Thank you. You, at least, seem honourable enough.

Ein:

(What? Kent sucks! At least Sain is funny...)

Kent:

Hm? Pardon me, but... I feel weve met before.

Ein:

(That's a terrible pick up line... ;/)

Lyn:

I beg your pardon?

Sain:

Hey! No fair, Kent! I saw her first!

Ein:

(Hey. I saw her first. I mean sure her parents saw her first when she was born or whoever helped deliver during birth--No no. I'm being to technical.)

Lyn:

Tsk! It seems there are no decent men among Lycias knights! Lets go, Ein! Ive run out of patience!

Ein:

(Lyn stop generalizing. ;/)

Kent:

Wait, please! Its not like that! ...... Sain, you lout!

Sain:

Huh? Not like that? I thought you were...

Kent:

I am NOT you!!! Come, we must follow her! I suspect she might be

Sain:

Be what? Shes our mission? Youre joking! Wait!

Ein:

(Wait. What. "Your mission"? What does that entail?)

Lyn:

Run!!! Were being pursued! Could it be those knights from town? No... Its not them. These men are out for blood!

Ein:

(Oh great... More pointless Bandits. Welp. I know where this is going.)

Guess who did most of the fighting?

If you answered Sain I have to smack you.

If you answered Kent I have to smack you.

If you answered Lyn I'll smack you anyway. Why? I dunno. Why not?

So anyway... The Kent meister and Sain meister feel like following Lyn around because of something or other. I kinda lost track even though I'm looking at the Game Script.

What do you mean you're interested in Lyn's stats? Don't worry about it just yet.

Edited October 31, 2011 by Ein Silver Rose

[Emeraldfox]

Lyn has a defense of zero.

[eranjial]

I'm enjoying this :D

This is completely accurate on the tactician's thoughts.

You should do some fake support conversations.

[Ein]

Lyn has a defense of zero.

I believe you should refresh your memory.

I'm enjoying this :D

This is completely accurate on the tactician's thoughts.

You should do some fake support conversations.

Good to hear you like this so far. :<

[Ein]

Chapter 2: Sword of Spirits

Lyn:

Ein, hold a moment, and allow me a short detour. There is a sacred sword enshrined in an altar east of here. The people of Sacae go there to pray for safety at the onset of a long journey.

Ein:

(People pray to swords for protection? Wouldnt… Wouldnt it make more sense to, you know, USE the sword instead? Sigh… FINE! Lets just do this.)

Sain:

Oh, how quaint!

Ein:

(For some reason you sound like a douche for saying that. Just saiyan.)

Kent:

The teachings of Elimine have the most followers in Elibe. It is nice to see that, here at least, the ancient customs are still observed.

Ein:

(Elimine? Wasnt she that one chick who helped defeat the dragons in the opening scene of the game by being a staffbot? C~ool…)

(Glass and troops move in)

Ein:

(Oh noes! I can see what I shouldnt normally be seeing. Again.)

Glass:

Old Man! Stay where you are, and hold your tongue!

Ein:

(Ha. Hold your tongue. You and your silly old age word smithing.)

Priest:

Threaten me as you will, but Ill not give up the Mani Katti. The Mani Katti is a sacred blade, under divine protection. It cannot be removed from its place of rest!

Ein:

(Le sigh… Im pretty sure it WILL be removed from this place and given to Lyn. The chapter name has given this away.)

Glass:

Youre a fool, old man. What goods a sword if you dont use it?

Ein:

(…Too easy.)

Priest:

Use it? In combat? Sacrilege!

Ein:

(Its a sword! Why else was it forged? To be used as a fruit slicer?)

Glass:

Sacrilege? I am Glass! The gods fear my name! My swordplay is peerless! And if I want this sword, this sword I shall have! Now, get out of my way!

Ein:

(Oy… this guy is dead meat.)

Priest:

Oof!

(Priest moves away, Glass replaces him on throne)

Ein:

(Thats not very nice…)

Glass:

This is it! Its more magnificent than Id imagined! This sword was made for a swordsman of my skill. Hmm? Whats this? I cant… draw the sword… from its scabbard?

Ein:

(Youre not pulling hard enough…)

Priest:

The spirits of the blade have judged you. You have been found waiting. They have rejected you.

Ein:

(Bull. Hes not pulling hard enough.)

Glass:

What? Listen, you senile old fool, if you value your own life, youll get out of my sight!!!

(Glass charges towards Priest, Priest escapes through door)

Ein:

(He sure showed that old man who could not defend himself.)

Glass:

Curses! Miserable spirits! I care nothing for you! Ill tear this altar down stone by stone!

(Woman moves towards Lyn)

Ein:

(I like where this is going. ;3)

Woman:

I beg your pardon, milady. Are you headed east? To the altar?

Ein:

(Oh~ Naughty~)

Lyn:

Yes, we are indeed.

Woman:

Then you must hurry and help the priest there. I saw a band of local ruffians head in there not too long ago. They seemed intent on stealing the altars sacred sword!

Ein:

(Aw man... Of course we would have to do something about that… Sigh…)

Lyn:

The Mani Katti… Theyre going to steal it? I cannot allow this to happen!

Ein:

(What? Yes we can.)

Woman:

You look like a virtuous group. Please, help him!

Sain:

Lyndis, what are you planning?

Ein:

(Yes Lyn. What are you planning? I hope you're not expecting I, the TACTICIAN, to do something about this.)

Kent:

If you go to the priests aid, youll need to prepare.

Lyn:

Youre right... Say, Ein… There are some homes to the south of us. Perhaps we should go there and question the residents.

Ein:

(Why? Im a damn Tactician. I kinda know what Im doing even though this is my very first job as a Tactician but being a Tactician kinda implies I know what Im doing and have no need for the help of NPCs. Wait. I am getting paid for this right? I better get paid…)

-----

Lyn kills bandits and then she kills Glass. Sain and Kent run like scared BIG BABIES.

Oh yeah. Kent gives Lyn his Iron Sword.

...I did not just type that.

...I did not just think that.

...I did not just point out the joke to make it easier for anyone reading this to find it lame because sexual innuendo is funny apparently.

-----

Priest:

Ah, your clothing… Are you of the Lorca tribe?

Lyn:

Im Lyn, the chieftains daughter. Are you hurt, sir?

Priest:

Thanks to you, I am unscathed. You have my gratitude.

Lyn:

And the sword? Is it safe?

Ein:

(I dont know what to say anymore… Its a SWORD! A sacred sword but a SWORD nonetheless.)

Priest:

Yes, I have sealed the sword safely away. Until I remove my spell, the sword cannot be drawn. Now, as a token of my gratitude, I shall allow you to lay hands upon the Mani Katti. Touch the blades pattern, and pray for a safe journey.

Lyn:

Oh, thank you so much!

Ein:

(Daaaw~)

(Lyn touches the blade)

Priest:

Hm?

Lyn:

What? Did

(Screen flashes)

Ein:

(HOLY LIGHT! It… BURNS!

Not really).

Lyn:

The sword… Its… glowing.

Ein:

(Say what?)

Priest:

Ah. Hm… Its the power of the spirits. Lyn, they have looked into your soul, and they call out to you.

(Swords can do that? Huh. You learn something new everyday.)

Lyn:

What does that mean?

Ein:

(It means its yours now! How much more obvious can it get!)

Priest:

You are its rightful owner. You are to wield the Mani Katti.

Lyn:

No… I cant… I couldnt…

Ein:

(Just take the damn thing… I gotta get rid of your almost broken Iron Sword anyway.)

Priest:

It is the swords wish. If you require proof, draw it from its sheath.

Lyn:

Um… ...

(Screenshot of Lyn and the Mani Katti)

Lyn:

It came out… effortlessly.

Ein:

(See? I told you that you just had to pull hard enough.)

Priest:

I never dared hope that I might meet the wielder of the Mani Katti in my life. I am indeed fortunate to see your sword reach your hands.

Lyn:

My sword?

Ein:

(Yes… It is yours now. Itll be fun taking out horse and armor units with that baby.)

(Exit screenshot)

Priest:

It is time for you to go, Lyn. You face a great many ordeals. Grip this sword, and meet your destiny head-on.

Lyn:

Yes… Yes, sir!

(Got the Mani Katti)

Ein:

(Happy face!)

Sain:

So this is the Mani Katti… A blade with no equal.

Ein:

(Unless it has a sister blade associated with the Sun.)

Lyn:

This is all so unbelievable. Perhaps the most famous sword in all of Sacae… in my hand.

Ein:

(Mmhmm.)

Kent:

Its not so strange. In fact, many legends tell similar tales… Special blades all over the land call out to their proper owners. And yet, when I saw you draw that blade, Lyndis… I felt something extraordinary. That sword was waiting for you. You were meant to draw it.

Ein:

(Nooooo…. Really?)

Lyn:

Stop it! I… Im nothing special!

Ein:

(No you are not…)

Sain:

Think of it this way: Some weapons feel more comfortable in your hand, right? Well, the Mani Katti itself feels very comfortable with you. Does it make it any easier for you to accept? It doesnt appear that either of us can use it.

Lyn:

It… does feel right in my hand. A blade that only I can wield. That seems reasonable enough. I can understand that. Look at it, Ein. This is the Mani Katti. This is… my sword. I must care for it well.

Ein:

(I cannot be hearing this… Weapons are not living beings! Besides. You just had to pull hard enough… This joke is getting old isnt it?)

(Screen fades out, goes to Castle Caelin)

Lundgren:

What? Madelyns daughter is still alive?

Ein:

(HOLY WHAT THE WHOSE IT! Why am I here all of the sudden? Oh hey. An obviously evil character. Lets see what they talking about.)

Soldier:

Lundgren! Those two Christmas cavaliers found one of the main characters and are heading over here!!! WHAT DO!?!?!

Lundgren:

The same thing we do every day after doing that thing I did.

TRY TO TAKE OVER CAELIN!

Ein:

(Oh… Well that wasnt obvious at all.)

Edited October 31, 2011 by Ein Silver Rose

[eclipse]

. . .and any attempt to follow the script has fallen through fabulously. Keep it up~!

[Ein]

. . .and any attempt to follow the script has fallen through fabulously. Keep it up~!

I don't know if this is a good or bad thing...

[zahlman]

Ein:

(Le sigh… I'm pretty sure it WILL be removed from this place and given to Lyn. The chapter name has given this away.)

Eh, not really IMO...

Glass:

Sacrilege? I am Glass!

This is Sparta!

Glass:

What? Listen, you senile old fool, if you value your own life, you'll get out of my sight!!!

(Glass charges towards Priest, Priest escapes through door)

Ein:

(He sure showed that old man who could not defend himself.)

Sure he could defend himself. Like Paperblade pointed out, he should be able to solo the map. Didn't you see his map sprite? He's promoted!

(Woman moves towards Lyn)

Ein:

(I like where this is going. ;3)

Woman:

I beg your pardon, milady. Are you headed east? To the altar?

Ein:

(Oh~ Naughty~)

Ooh, she wants to walk lyn to the altar, ara ara~

Woman:

Then you must hurry and help the priest there. I saw a band of local ruffians head in there not too long ago. They seemed intent on stealing the altar's sacred sword!

Lyn:

The Mani Katti… They're going to steal it? I cannot allow this to happen!

It's worth pointing out that this is pretty much yet another "What?" in disguise.

...I did not just point out the joke to make it easier for anyone reading this to find it lame because sexual innuendo is funny apparently.

Lyn is apparently much better at pulling on swords to make them come out than Glass is. So much for his peerless swordplay. He probably meant that he only engages in swordplay by himself.

Priest:

Ah, your clothing… Are you of the Lorca tribe?

Lyn:

I'm Lyn, the chieftain's daughter. Are you hurt, sir?

It's worth noting that this priest instantly recognizes not only that Lyn is Sacaen (which most people would), but her tribe (which he really has no reason to be aware of). And yet, somehow this guy is one of the few who Lyn doesn't tell her inconsistent sob story to...

Priest:

Yes, I have sealed the sword safely away. Until I remove my spell, the sword cannot be drawn. Now, as a token of my gratitude, I shall allow you to lay hands upon the Mani Katti. Touch the blade's pattern, and pray for a safe journey.

...

Priest:

Ah. Hm… It's the power of the spirits. Lyn, they have looked into your soul, and they call out to you.

...

Priest:

It is the sword's wish. If you require proof, draw it from its sheath.

OK, I have to call bullshit here. He just finished saying that he's the one who prevents the sword from being drawn, not some mystical sword spirit.

But hey, maybe IS was trying to make a veiled statement about real-world religion?

Lyn:

My sword?

AND MY AXE... wait, you don't have Dorcas yet. Or Wil for that matter.

Priest:

It is time for you to go, Lyn. You face a great many ordeals. Grip this sword, and meet your destiny head-on.

Lyn:

Yes… Yes, sir!

More innuendo IMO.

Soldier:

Lundgren! Those two Christmas cavaliers found one of the main characters and are heading over here!!! WHAT DO!?!?!

Lundgren:

The same thing we do every day after doing that thing I did.

TRY TO TAKE OVER CAELIN!

I lol'd. But it should be "WAT DO".

[NinjaMonkey]

*Plays Brawl to look up the Lyn trophy* 15?! What the hell Japan! BLARGH!!!)

18 in PAL/US versions...

[zahlman]

Seriously though, what's wrong with Lyn being 15? It's not like there are sex scenes

[Ein]

18 in PAL/US versions...

Yes I know. :|

Seriously though, what's wrong with Lyn being 15? It's not like there are sex scenes

...No.

[Paper Jam]

I know we're not yet at the chapter where it's relevant, but what's wrong with Erk being 15? Even the NA/PAL localization doesn't change that.

(Source: Erk/Louise B Support)

Actually, that takes place in the main story, a year after Lyn's, so Erk would be 14 in Lyn's story.

Anyway, why is it okay for Erk to be 14 or 15, but not Lyn?

Edited November 1, 2011 by Paper Jam

[Ein]

Anyway, why is it okay for Erk to be 14 or 15, but not Lyn?

I blame Sain.

[zahlman]

Sain also supports Prissy, Serra and Rebecca who are all also underage.

[Paper Jam]

"Underage" is a fairly modern concept. For example, it was common for girls in ancient Rome to get married at age 14, sometimes to men as old as 30.

And the Fire Emblem series has much more in common with ancient Rome than with 21st-century America or Japan.

Take a look at Pent and Louise; Louise was 14 when she became engaged to Pent, according to her B-support with Rebecca.

[zahlman]

Also Jaffar x Nino trololol. I just noticed the SF character ages page doesn't even mention Jaffar.

[Ein]

I... Oh forget it. Let's get on with this thing.

Chapter 3: Band of Brothers--I mean... Mercenaries. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Lyn:

This place... It's..

Sain:

The entire area is in ruins. Why doesn't their marquess do anything to help?

Ein:

(You call these ruins? You guys should see LA.

...What?)

Lyn:

Taliver Mountain is home to a gang of vicious, ruthless bandits. No marquess holds power here.My village was near here, on the other side of the mountain. My people were... The Taliver bandits came at night. It took only one night. The survivors numbered less than ten, including me.

Ein:

(Dododo. Hm? Oh sorry. I thought this was supposed to be interesting. Carry on.)

Lyn:

They're soulless beasts. I will never forgive them. Never.

Ein:

(Yup. Because dehumanizing a group, even ruthless bandits, always leads to good things. Sometimes.)

Sain:

Lyndis...

Kent:

...

Ein:

(You two are touched? Psyduck...)

Lyn:

I am not running away. I will be back...someday. I'll be stronger...I will break their swords beneath me like twigs beneath a stallion's hooves. I will avenge my people. I'll do everything in my power.

Ein:

(Well you have the durability of wet toilet paper so you may want to return to for a time to kill law them all and pass down the righteous once you promote. Or something.

I wonder who's gonna catch that reference I made there.)

Sain:

When the time comes, bring me with you.

Lyn:

Sain.

Kent:

Don't forget me, either.

Lyn:

Kent...Oh! You, too, Ein? I... You're...Thank you.

Ein:

(Eh... I gotta hand it to Kent and Sain. At least they have some kind of honor--Wait. What? I never said anything about me helping you! You can't even hear me! And why do I feel lighter?)

*falls from the sky to different part of the area*

Ein:

(UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OOF!

...Damn it. Sigh... It happened again. Well let's see what I'll witness this time.)

Migal:

Wait right there, little lady! What are you going to do to apologize? Huh?

Ein:

(Oh look. More bandits. I sure did not expect this turn of events. They seem upset. I wonder wh-)

Florina:

Uh... I...That is, I...

Ein:

(Well there goes my heart. I'm sure gonna miss its ability to pump blood throughout my circulatory system.)

Bandit:

Hey, she's quite a catch, eh, buddy? I bet the boss'd give us a pretty penny for her.

Migal:

Yeah. She roughed me up a bit, so I figure fair's fair. It's no more'n she deserves.

Ein:

(YOU- I WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH MY NONEXISTENT HANDS!)

*presses B in a blind fury*

-----

Sweet~

I now have Florina who happens to be my absolute favorite character of the FE series.

Dunno why but I always liked her.

Oh wait. I do know why. But that's a discussion for another time.

Oh yeah. Wil is here too. That's kind of cool. Too bad he's not gonna be used other than chip damage. Sorry Wil. :(

Right away I have Sain trade the Iron Lance he has to Florina so I can use it instead of her Slim Lance since I like to use it sparingly for when she needs to double early on before her SPD improves.

I have Florina get the gold in the village, obviously, and have her murder every enemy on this chapter as I am prone to do because they deserve it for messing with her. >:(

Before ending the life of that one boss bandit with Florina I have Kent and Sain purchase some equipment for the next level and distribute the Vulnaries.

-----

Lyn:

That's finally taken care of.

Florina:

Lyn!

Ein:

(D'aaaaaw~ Florina is so adorable even after she's killed around ten people by herself~)

Lyn:

Florina... Why did you follow me? It's so dangerous.

Ein:

(But you set out on your own journey with some guy who doesn't even have arms on his overworld sprite...)

Florina:

Do you remember the knighting ceremony of the Pegasus Knights of Ilia?

Lyn:

Yes, you join a band of freelance soldiers to further your training.

Ein:

(How does the army in Ilia even work...?)

Lyn:

Is that what brought you here, Florina?

Florina:

Uh-huh.

Florina:

I wanted to talk to you before I set out.

Florina:

But when I went to Sacae,

Florina:

I heard that you had left with some strangers, and...

Ein:

(Hey... I'm not that strange. Unless you mean Sain and Kent because I'll agree with you on that one.)

Lyn:

You were worried for me?

Ein:

(Of course not! It's like you two are close friends or anything.)

Lyn:

Thank you, but I'm more worried about you.

Florina:

Me?

Lyn:

Listen, most mercenaries are men, right? Bands of men?

Lyn:

I can't imagine you being at all comfortable around them.

Ein:

(que)

Florina:

I know, I know.

Ein:

(Wait. Why is she uncomfortable around men?

That's never gonna be explained is it? IS!!!)

Florina:

It's just... I've always dreamt of being a pegasus knight.

Ein:

(Uh...)

Florina:

I imagined I would just...work it out. Somehow.

Florina:

After today, I'm not so sure.

Florina:

Maybe I should just...give up...

Ein:

(NOOOOOOOOOO! Don't give up! This was just bad luck is all. Bad luck in the form of you not being able to land very well... But still!)

Lyn:

Florina...Don't cry...

Ein:

(Yeah! Please don't cry! You'll make me cry... ;~;)

Sain:

Yes! There's no reason to give up your dream!

Ein:

(Yeah! Tell her Sain! Give her some words of encouragement!)

Lyn:

Hm?

Sain:

Lovely Florina! I have the most brilliant idea!

Ein:

(She is rather lovely. :3)

Kent:

Sain!

Sain:

You should come with us!

Ein:

(YES!)

Sain:

With the addition of Wil here, we're a fine group of soldiers, and freelance to boot!

Ein:

(wat

Why Wil?)

Wil:

Wait, did you just include me?

Ein:

(What he said.)

Sain:

Of course! We were destined to meet here! It's fate!

Ein:

(Stupid Wheel of Fate. Why must it Turn? /reference)

Sain:

Come now, Lyndis's band of mercenaries is as good a training group as you will find anywhere!

Ein:

(Well... This is Lyn's mode...)

Kent:

Sain...This is no joking matter!

Ein:

(I don't think you'd be able to detect humor anyway so why start now Kent?)

Florina:

Lyndis? Um, Lyn? Mercenaries?

Lyn:

I can give you details later. This is all a bit rushed.

Lyn:

However, Sain is right. Will you come with us, Florina?

Ein:

(...I'll allow it.)

Florina:

Travel with you, Lyn? Truly?

Ein:

(YEEEEEEES!)

Florina:

I would be so...so happy!

Ein:

(So shall I Florina. =w=)

Sain:

Fantastic! Beauteous Florina! I am a knight of Caelin.

Sain:

My name is Sain...

Ein:

(You're hitting on her already?! What the hell man! It's like you want me to break a leg or two but I can't since then you wouldn't be such a great meatshield this run.)

Florina:

Eeek!

Florina:

Stay back! Don't get so close.

Sain:

Ah... Beautiful, and yet so modest!

Ein:

(Well... At least Sain isn't a total douche. (God I hate that word... Oh hey. A thought within a thought. Funky.))

Kent:

I beg your forgiveness. Calling us mercenaries...

Ein:

(Yeah. We don't even have a Merc in our group. What up with that yo?)

Lyn:

No, I approve. We can't leave Florina on her own.

Ein:

(I agree. Maybe I can start some kind of Social Link with her. ;3)

Lyn:

She requires special attention, though. Can I count on you?

Ein:

("Special attention?")

Kent:

Yes! You have but to ask.

Ein:

(What do you mean by "special attention"? >_>)

Wil:

So...

Ein:

(Gah! You're still here? Well what do you want?)

Wil:

Is it really all right if I travel with you?

Ein:

(I dunno...)

Lyn:

Oh, yes. Of course! If you're willing, Wil.

Ein:

(Damn it Lyn! Making decisions without my approval... I feel like I'm just here to be some kind of plot device to begin the story in the first place...)

Wil:

Actually, I'm very grateful.

Wil:

Truth be told, all of my money was stolen, and I'm...at a bit of a crossroads.

Ein:

(Crossroads of Chaos you say? /reference)

Wil:

I would be honored to count myself one of Lyndis's Legion!

Lyn:

"Lyndis's Legion"? This is getting stranger with every day.

Ein:

(We have a name for this group now? And such a lame one too... It lacks any creative thought!)

[eclipse]

Wil lost a fortune trying to pull a Plaguespreader, duh.

Poor you. Imagine if you had to fight with NO ARMS.

[Ercdouken]

You should use Fergus.

[Junkhead]

The only reason you'll be using Florina is because I tell you to.

[Ein]

Bah... I'm almost done with Lyn's mode and I don't feel like going through the script for stuff.

Have fun with my summaries.

Chapter 4

Alrighty. A survival chapter. And an easy as well. Although anyone reading this is aware of this. At least you should be.

Wil, Sain, and Kent hold the dilapidated ruins down while Lyn acts as bait to lure in Dorcas.

And he hits her AGAIN like always. I swear. Lyn dodging Dorcas' attack has never happened on Hard mode for me. It boggles my mind.

So yeah. I have Lyn recruit Dorcas so he doesn't kill his wife like some kind of badly programmed AI and I have my Axe.

Flo-chan takes out the Bandit with the Iron Axe and Dorcas gets it. Flo-chan takes on those Mercs up North by herself. fortunately she grew two DEF so I heard that wonderful *tink* sound when they hit her. Rather amusing.

Lyn and Dorcas take out the Bandits in the South area. Lyn Mani Katti's the boss Bandit and I eventually win with only two Bandits still breathing because the chapter did not let me kill them.

Chapter 5

Serra get. And Erk too. He kinda joins too. C~ool?

Unfortunately Erk takes everything Serra says seriously causing himself much grief instead of playing along and poking fun at her like he should. Idiot...

Lyn, Flo-can, Dorcas, and Serra own face as is the case in Lyn's mode. Dorcas and Flo-chan get some shiny new equipment in the form of 1-2 range weaponry. Flo-chan kills the boss bandit because I like to spoil her. Seriously. She's like level 8 or 9 by now.

Chapter 6

Wrath get. Also Matthew. Coolio.

Lyn sits this chapter out because why not. Dorcas and Flo-chan kill things. Especially Flo-chan.

Matthew pilfers the Angelic Robe. Guess who used it? Go on guess. It's not that hard to figure out really.

Eventually I win as is the case when I play video games. Unless they are fighting games. Then I just suck horribly or do okay.

Chapter 7

Pretty dude who I totally did not think was female when I first saw him and thought there was a translation error whenever someone referred to him as "him" or "he" until I got his Serra supports and shota get. The first trap is always hard on someone...

So yeah. Flo-chan kills the boss Shaman quickly.

Eliwood, stupid name by the way, shows up with the shota's incredibly boring older sister. Good god she's boring... At least she and Eliwood make a cute couple. Of blandness. Rather fitting as their son would be blandness incarnate. Poor bastard...

Where was I going with this? Anyway... Side chapter quest thing get.

Chapter 7x

My sword, axe, healer, shota, Thief, and Flo-chan own face. Yes I get the Hammer as that will be useful for like one chapter and I might not even use it because I'll figure something out. Or something. Guess who killed the boss Merc? These "guess something painfully obvious" jokes are getting old huh?

Chapter 8

Matthew has to do some The Spy work. Hope he doesn't run into The Pyro.

Flo-chan goes for the village in the... East I think. Me bad with directions. While Dorcas and Lyn dodge huge bolts falling from the sky while fighting off some troops. Flo-chan returns with the LANCEREAVER and move Southward.

Flo-chan eventually kills the boss Knight, like that wasn't obvious by now, and I move forward.

Oh yeah. Stats. One moment please. Sigh... Don't put your DSLite in your pocket... Those things suck at not having the L and R buttons to function when placed in a small confined space. Piece of crap...

Lyn

LV - 9

HP - 24

STR - 8

SKL - 13

SPD - 14

LCK - 9

DEF - 4

RES -

Flo-chan~

LV - 10

HP - 30

STR - 9

SKL - 11

SPD - 17

LCK - 13

DEF - 6

RES - 9

Dorcas

LV - 8

HP - 35

STR - 11

SKL - 8

SPD - 9

LCK - 4

DEF - 4

RES - 1

Serra

LV - 3

HP - 18

MAG - 4

SKL - 6

SPD - 9

LCK - 8

DEF - 2

RES - 5

Because I suck at figuring out how to use the CODE thing. ;/

Edited November 6, 2011 by Ein Silver Rose

[Ein]

More summaries because I beta Lyn's mode already so shyeah.

Chapter Nueve

Wallace get. Wallace is awesome. Those who disagree suck and should get off Oswin's dick for once. The guy gets tired.

The Fog of War theme thing is my favorite level theme in the game. Too bad I was playing on the bus when I was playing the chapter. Oh wells.

Matthew tags along and uses his Spy skills with the Torch so people can see and junk.

Lyn kills Eagler because she has the Moon Blade for massive damage.

Chapter Diez

OH MY GOD I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL TEN IN SPANISH!

Okay. Lyn, Dorcas, Florina, Serra, and Nils are fielded.

Florina goes straight for the village while the others try to make it around that one place and get to Lundgren.

Florina gets dibs on the Energy Ring because yes.

Lyn weakens Lundgren with the Lancereaver that reaves lances and Florina finishes him off.

Then stuff happens and now I has control of Hector who is only SLIGHTLY better than Lyn and Eliwood in terms of actually being interesting. He's still boring as hell though.

The real problem now is that Florina isn't around now. Hopefully I can deal with this dilemma...

[eclipse]

Hey, chapter summaries work, too~!

And you totally gave the Angelic Robe to Rath, 'cause he's cute.