Doom103 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 (edited) Well in class today we had to do a "OBR" in English. OBR's are like a little warm up or w/e and we had to write about the most beautiful guy/girl we have ever seen. Obviously i wrote about a girl who goes by the name Shawn Johnson lol you know the Olympian gymnast, 16 years old ,yeah well anyways I liked the way it came out so here it is *it's short I know* btw i know she doesn't have blue eyes I just thought it be better for the "poem" if she did lol Her coy yet capturing eyes are a lush and vivid hue of brown Such strong eyes, they are full of joy, energy and strength, yet soft and calm like the melodious lull of a piano Her face is envied by even the most majestic of roses, such a face that Aphrodite herself grew covetous of it The young maidens face is perfection in it's purest form, women from all the land yourn for this face, thus tainting their hearts green Her body is unrivaled by even the most divine goddess, her agility and flexibility surpasses that of rubber Such a body isn't possible for a mere mortal, what a feet this woman has reached Her hair is so fair and soft yet silky, it's as if it was of a gold silk from the heavens It was just a class assignment but I'm no writer so idk if it's any good so if it is I'll continue it. EDIT: Please comment i beg you guys lol It needed a pic Edited September 14, 2008 by Doom103 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Good and descriptive, but I think you went overboard with the greek mythology. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom103 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 Good and descriptive, but I think you went overboard with the greek mythology. It's kinda a theme i guess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_____ Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Looks good but... Aether himself? Huh? ._. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 It's kinda a theme i guess lol redundancy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom103 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 Looks good but...Aether himself? Huh? ._. not the attack the god lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom103 Posted September 14, 2008 Author Share Posted September 14, 2008 Sorry for the double post bump for the update Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 Good and descriptive, but I think you went overboard with the greek mythology. NU UH!!! Wow, this is GREAT!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom103 Posted September 17, 2008 Author Share Posted September 17, 2008 NU UH!!!Wow, this is GREAT!!! THANKS FREE glad you liked it I think I will add another line to it and call it a day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Wright Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 Pretty good Doom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom103 Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 Pretty good Doom! Thanks I'm gonna add one more stanza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom103 Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 lmao TLS Whats with your sig mathew and gatrie have the same one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noremaC Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 nice poem, she is 16?she looks 12-14........ and i for some reason i imaginered her being like 30 something..... lol aether is a god, nice orginality IS... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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