Unrequited love bites..

[Sentacotus]

The best thing you can do right now is to get involved. In anything constructive really. Doesn't matter if its a game you enjoy, volunteer work, job qualifications, local intramurals, anything that interests you just find that one thing and do it full out. I think you'll find that not only will it help you come away from your thoughts on this but you'll also meet new people and socially interact with them because they share the same sorts of sentiments and interests.

I can't say I know anything about relationships really at all since I've never really had anything serious with anyone. I just know enough to know that unrequited love does suck alot and is a unhealthy thing.

Bottom line keep busy, keep faith that when the time is right you'll find someone and it'll happen when you least expect it.

[Jedi]

The best thing you can do right now is to get involved. In anything constructive really. Doesn't matter if its a game you enjoy, volunteer work, job qualifications, local intramurals, anything that interests you just find that one thing and do it full out. I think you'll find that not only will it help you come away from your thoughts on this but you'll also meet new people and socially interact with them because they share the same sorts of sentiments and interests.

I can't say I know anything about relationships really at all since I've never really had anything serious with anyone. I just know enough to know that unrequited love does suck alot and is a unhealthy thing.

Bottom line keep busy, keep faith that when the time is right you'll find someone and it'll happen when you least expect it.

Will do, it's helping already, and just speaking out about this has gotten me to the point of near forgiving myself at last.. From all the helpful advice I've received.

[SirBrickingtonCrushworthy]

Jedi, I've been through divorcing parents amongst other issues, so I know that feeling, and whether we like to admit it or not, it can have an impact on how we deal with other people, I know it's certainly affected me in such ways.

Far as unrequited love goes, mine's more of a sap story than a sob story, I fell head over heels, acted like an awkward dunce, wound up drawing the ire of this girl, and now I'm hung up. I've been self-improving a bunch since, and then the almighty power of narcissism kicked in, and now self-betterment is something I more or less do without needing the approval of a girl, though I still wish she'd give me another go-round considering how the last time I tried (which was years ago, mind you), I wasn't very experienced or mature.

So the hangup part, I get it. Just live your life in a good and healthy manner, you'll be alright. I'm in a place where trying to date would be foolish, so I'm able to relax on my issues.

[Jedi]

Jedi, I've been through divorcing parents amongst other issues, so I know that feeling, and whether we like to admit it or not, it can have an impact on how we deal with other people, I know it's certainly affected me in such ways.

Far as unrequited love goes, mine's more of a sap story than a sob story, I fell head over heels, acted like an awkward dunce, wound up drawing the ire of this girl, and now I'm hung up. I've been self-improving a bunch since, and then the almighty power of narcissism kicked in, and now self-betterment is something I more or less do without needing the approval of a girl, though I still wish she'd give me another go-round considering how the last time I tried (which was years ago, mind you), I wasn't very experienced or mature.

So the hangup part, I get it. Just live your life in a good and healthy manner, you'll be alright. I'm in a place where trying to date would be foolish, so I'm able to relax on my issues.

Sorry you've had to deal with similar things, thats good you can relax, I should probably do the same lol.

[Leinex]

sometimes, talking to a neutral third party helps a great deal.

I second this statement. On a slightly related note, I've heard that sometimes talking to someone that doesn't know you very well about your problems can feel better than telling them to someone you've known for a very long time. The reason's supposed to be that they haven't built up expectations of you over a long period of time like those that are close to you.

Just wanted to throw in my really general two cents in since I'm nowhere near qualified to give any specific advice. Sorry if it's completely unhelpful.

[SirBrickingtonCrushworthy]

I second this statement. On a slightly related note, I've heard that sometimes talking to someone that doesn't know you very well about your problems can feel better than telling them to someone you've known for a very long time. The reason's supposed to be that they haven't built up expectations of you over a long period of time like those that are close to you.

Just wanted to throw in my really general two cents in since I'm nowhere near qualified to give any specific advice. Sorry if it's completely unhelpful.

This can be true to an extent, but after a while the usefulness of talking things out withers away. Be wary that sometimes, there is such a thing as talking about your problem too much. Also, it's easy to wear out friends with such talk. Eventually they will grow more and more blunt, or cynical.

Edited March 10, 2015 by SirBrickingtonCrushworthy

[Leinex]

This can be true to an extent, but after a while the usefulness of talking things out withers away. Be wary that sometimes, there is such a thing as talking about your problem too much. Also, it's easy to wear out friends with such talk. Eventually they will grow more and more blunt, or cynical.

Of course, I don't mean talking about your problems all the time. I was really referring to the times when you've bottled things in too much by yourself and need to at least loosen the lid a little before you inelegantly explode. I'm not sure whether you got the impression that that's what I meant or if you were just throwing in your own two cents, but it was a great point.

[Spikey]

Usually I wouldn't be comfortable posting about this on a forum, despite my previous venting about it I felt like getting my word out there. This a depressing story, just fyi.

8 years ago, I was 15. I was in highschool, since I had been homeschooled, social interaction was pretty bad, but I adapted and adjusted to the life, made some friends.

Well in my Sophomore year, I met a woman who would well become very important to me and little did I know I was important to her as well, we became really quick friends despite varying differences, she wasn't much of a gamer, I was, etc. Similarities included our love for kids and just our views on life.

We both fell in love with each other, she had struggles I had no idea about (I'm not at liberty to say). Those pushed me away from her, yet I persisted and this is what made her realize I was different then most to her.

However, highschool was terrible for me in my junior year and I opted to leave because I couldn't stand it anymore, my parents decided to move and divorce that same year. In the blink of an eye, my choice had cost me the woman I loved and my education which I had to pick up several years later at Job Corps. I'm in college now, but yet this girl and I kept in contact, despite our constant distance.

She and I still have a very strong bond, however shes for the most part moved on, despite some moments where we lament what could have been.. I still love her.. and it tortures me, knowing shes with someone else (This is incredibly selfish, I disgust myself). She is also sad that I feel this way still, our relationship is very very complicated in the fact that we are practically inseparable yet at the same time there is a wedge between us, through various circumstances which I constantly blame myself for, and will most likely continue to do so for the rest of my life. It is illogical, and I know this.. But my heart cannot move on, and its very very torturous. She still goes to me when shes in a spot of trouble, just like how she used to.. I'm unsure what I should do.. I have no idea what i'm waiting for or why I'm such an idiot.

This has haunted me for all 8 years and is unlikely to ease up soon. Moving on seems to be near impossible other then brief respites, my heart truly isn't in any other relationship I've attempted to start. Because I always start thinking of her again..

That is the hardest place to be in. As others here have said, it can be good to talk to third parties who are not too close once in a while. It is often easier for a stranger to be polite, yet objective, I guess.

Also, it helps to talk; but even better, it helps to write it down (like you did here). Emotions / feelings are often abstract, and by putting them into words, you understand them a little better, and by this transformation, you take away some of their power.

Do not be disgusted by yourself! If you truly love someone, them is definitely the breaks.

Most people will say "find someone else, move on, kbye", but it is not always that easy. 8 years is a long time. Just to relate, I've been having similar feelings for someone for 4 years, and know they probably won't go away for a while. What makes it worse is that I briefly had the taste so sweet under my fingertips, just like you. I didn't recognise it for what it was until it was too late. Talk about major f-up. And now I can only watch from afar, that person in someone else's arms (a cheating lying s of a b no less), kissing in cheap bars, and my mind mind conjuring up "what if..." fantasies that lead a life of their own, painting ideal pictures that probably would not have been true either way.

[SirBrickingtonCrushworthy]

I'm with you on that, this is something where most of the time you SHOULD TRY to move on, but it's not like that's pretty simple to do. As far as I'm concerned, it was a godsend to be in the situation I'm in, being about 5-6 months out from going to MCRD San Diego, so I really have a lot of leeway to forget about girls right now. I've still got feelings for one girl, but at the same time, I'm blessed with the ability of just not caring too much about what happens, and it helps me loosen up. At the end of the day, that's the quickest change you can make for the better, is just loosening up about your situation.