Support Convo Contest the 2nd (Voting closed!)

[Dragoncat]

Feedback!

Chrom/Cordelia: I agree with people saying you could’ve focused on something other than food, but then again, in the Sumia/Chrom support the pies are pretty much the entire thing. You included other stuff so that’s good. “I want your sandwiches for the rest of my life” Lol.

Rolf/Mist: Dawww. This was cute. Only thing is I can’t see Mist looking at an enemy soldier that way. Other than that they were both in character. Would’ve been nice if kids were mentioned in the ending, but it was good.

Volug/Soren: Interesting how in Hatari brandeds aren’t treated the same as they are in the rest of Tellius. This was the best part of the support. Everything else is okay, but not overly fantastic.

Gangrel/Chigai: Felt a little rushed as others have said. But I did snicker a bit at the thought of Gangrel getting hit with sticks. You’re improving! This is much better than your Dozla one.

Boyd/Kelly: The girl proposes to the guy? Awesome! I agree with people saying that Boyd can most likely count and is a bit out of character, but this was an interesting support anyway.

Chigai/Sen: I’ll be honest, I found your other entry more interesting. But that’s just me...

Gerard/Arella: This was deep! I assume the old man in the vision was Gerard’s father, right? I would’ve thought it was him in the future if he didn’t say Gerard’s name. Nice work!

[Anacybele]

I think I commented on all of them already. I usually do when they're posted. :P

Also, I guess I DID do pretty well with Ike/Kael since three votes is a record for me now. XD Leyon x Azura though, I guess I just didn't do well transforming a few of DoD's events into a support and need practice on that.

[Spectral Procreation]

Excuse me while I sneak in my thoughts and vote right before the deadline...

I marked my first votes with an asterisk, and my runner-ups with a !.

[spoiler=*Elincia/Brom]I adored this support. You picked two characters who I'm surprised didn't actually get a support in the game, and managed to portray them very well with very solid writing. I honestly don't really have anything to critique here, I think you did a pretty damn good job overall. Kudos.

[spoiler=Chrom/Cordelia]I'll be a bit blunt, I didn't really like this one. I haven't read much of Awakening's supports, so I could just be ignorant, but wouldn't it be better to focus more on her unrequited love and all the angles that could be taken with that? I think something like you had going with the B Rank conversation would be funny, where Cordelia keeps trying to invite Chrom on dates and he keeps inviting others (making it a very rom-com situation of density). Or you could have a more serious take where take Cordelia further down that road of lacking self-worth that you briefly touch upon in the current S Rank convo. Or a little of both! As it is now, there just isn't anything to these supports besides Cordelia getting a bit of Chrom-time and then suddenly Chrom proposes to her, which I guess is a like half of Awakening supports summed up anyways, but that doesn't make it a good thing in my opinion.

I will say, on a more positive note, that I do feel like you managed to stay in-character. It felt like some dialogue that could be in Awakening, I just didn't get much out of it.

[spoiler=!Rolf/Mist]Wow, this was pretty good. I never thought I would care about Rolf, but you managed to make it happen, so points for that (Mist is still better though). I honestly can't think of a time in Fire Emblem where the issue of puberty is addressed (at least, like this), so it's pretty refreshing. The only thing that jumped out at me was that I thought that Rolf still liked Shinon in Radiant Dawn? It felt weird to hear him say something like "I grew down to Shinon's level." Then again, I must stress I haven't touched Radiant Dawn, so I could be totally wrong and he's grown to realize that Shinon's a bit of a dick.

The only reason this didn't get my first vote is purely personal sentiment; I just like the more dopey supports better. In terms of strength of the writing, the two entires are pretty much tied.

[spoiler=Volug/Soren]Unfortunately, as someone who's had little exposure to Radiant Dawn, I fear a large part of this support is lost on me. Did Soren really grow to accept laguz that much during the gap? Feels so wrong from what I remember from PoR. Anyways, I think a good job was done here. There was nothing wrong, but I'll admit there was nothing that quite wowed me here either. It was lacking a certain something -- I don't know, tension? -- that I was expecting when I saw the two characters who were in it. Though what's here certainly isn't bad, and it's always nice to get more of Volug and the Hatari, which I always thought were an interesting part of Radiant Dawn just from a glance.

[spoiler=!Rolf/Naroc]I think this was a pretty good support. It was interesting to see Adult!Rolf and I think you pulled him off well. He felt believable and very much like an uncle. I like their banter and I feel like I got a good enough sense of Naroc's character as this eager kid who's working hard at what he wants to be good at. All in all, a good family support.

[spoiler=Ike/Kael]Another family support! Not complaining since they tend to be pretty good. And this one isn't an exception! It reads a lot cleaner than your supports in the last topic, I feel like. The characters are sound and the dialogue is good. I'll admit to not being wowed, but I wasn't disappointed either. It did everything it needed to do, I think.

The only thing that really stood out to me was the references to what I imagine is the RP or fic Kael is from. Without that context, it's kind of hard for me to sympathize. But since these are technically supposed to be supports for a "game" where the reader would know what took place, I'm not gonna hold that against you.

[spoiler=Gangrel/Chigai]Not my thing, but you're improving! I like to see that.

I never did Gangrel's spotpass mission (because I disagree with the idea), but does he really just go along with Chrom because he's lost his purpose? I'm not doubting you; it's more of a "goddammit Awakening" moment.

Anyways, I think this is a pretty solid support you have here, and definitely better than last time around. Though I'll nitpick a bit and say I was expecting Chigai to propose since he seemed to be more aggressive in the relationship, whereas there wasn't really much of Gangrel caring (not even in a tsundere fashion) until the classic surprise proposal.

[spoiler=*Boyd/Kelly]Some really great work here, too. First off, I love how the S Rank is so different. Kelly is the one who porposes, and instead of a definitive answer, it's something more reasonable like "let's find out." Some really great writing here, but let me nitpick a couple things...

Boyd calls Kelly Katie in the S Rank. If that isn't a typo, then I'm surprised she stuck with him.

I didn't really understand the bit about the table. Why wouldn't she have a table?

Just some awkward bits of phrasing here and there:

-"Why are you?" "Watching you?" sounds pretty awkward to me for some reason. Maybe "Why..." ""Am I watching you?" sounds better to me.

-"That's because five of them did" coming after Boyd's question made me think that she was talking about the tables, which made do a double-take. I honestly think you should take that whole thing about the table out, or at least specify "five tomes" or something in Kelly's response.

-"Exploding me would be a blow against science" I think "Exploding myself" or even "Blowing myself up" would sound less awkward.

All in all, good job. I really liked it.

[spoiler=*Nadine/Bogan]I second the notion of there being a true morph character in the Elibe games. I thought Nadine was a great character last contest, and she held true to me expectations this time around. Bogan is a great counter to her personality and the idea of Nadine wanting them to be like a human family is really touching. The dialogue is solid and it feels like a GBA support, which I like a great deal better than Awakening supports and even the PoR supports.

So yeah, great job and I seriously dig it. I would gladly read a story with these characters, that's how much I ended up liking them.

[spoiler=!Leyon x Azura]I think the characters are good here. It seems like they're developed and the dialogue really expresses their emotions. Some of it was pretty cute. The only bit of awkwardness I saw was that pretty much all of Leyon's dialogue in the first conversation felt a bit stilted. But that cleared up in the next conversation. However...

The references. Ahhhhh. There were more in this one in your last one, so it was hard to sympathize with the characters. It feels like a lot of their development has happened off-screen, which I guess is true for the leads in Fire Emblem, it just feels like maybe this wasn't the best thing for entry into a contest, where context is limited.

[spoiler=Chigai/Sen]This support was...okay. Maybe I just don't like Chigai as a character? Hmm. Sen was alright, though. I felt like this support could have used more zing, more depth. Though I do like the angle of the younger characters (Sen's supposed to be on the young side, right?) having their own adventures. Maybe Chigai could have been accosted in town and Sen protected him, and that's how they really cement their friendship? Something like that.

Overall, great work everyone! I think every entry was fine in its own right, and it's always nice to see improvement. I'll go ahead and consider the votes closed with this and tally everything up.

Rolf/Mist wins Canon x Canon with 4 votes!

Boyd/Kelly wins Canon x OC with 4 votes!

Gerard/Arella wins OC x OC with 4 votes!

Overall winner (which I'm kind of arbitrarily deciding by adding category votes and runner-up votes) is Rolf/Mist with 8 total votes!

Thank you for voting everyone! I hope you all had a good time writing/reading/voting!

[Anacybele]

Yeah, not entering these contests anymore. I was doing okay with Ike/Kael, but then a certain someone changed their vote, which hurts. I'm not good at writing supports and I have to accept that. But at least I discovered this before attempting to make a game hack or whatever. A lack of great supports thanks to me would lessen the enjoyment of the game.

Edited June 1, 2015 by Anacybele

[Chigai]

I don't think I'll enter any written supports in a contest, either.

I'll probably just start writing them for fun. Maybe I'll make a thread just for that...

[Snowy_One]

I don't think I'll enter any written supports in a contest, either.

I'll probably just start writing them for fun. Maybe I'll make a thread just for that...

Wasn't that the whole point in the first place? Write for fun? Maybe improve if you can, but fun above all else?

[Anacybele]

Yeah, but it isn't fun when your entries repeatedly do poorly in contests...

[Flamy]

Yeah, but it isn't fun when your entries repeatedly do poorly in contests...

People then tell you why they're poor.

If you know the flaws of your writing, you know how to improve your writing.

[-Cynthia-]

Thanks for giving everyone feedback Spectral (makes me look less like the judger of souls or support entries or whatever).

Congratulations Snowy! I didn't win, but people seemed to like my entry again so...yay. I recommend no one here get discouraged, you all did fine.

[Anacybele]

What? I didn't do "fine" at all. "Fine" would be...well, as well as you did, I suppose. But me? Your entry got as many votes as mine did combined. That's pathetic.

Scarletflame: Yeah, and I tried using what people said in the first contest to do better. But I didn't do better.

Edited June 1, 2015 by Anacybele

[Shin]

Yeah, but it isn't fun when your entries repeatedly do poorly in contests...

Whilst it's not nice losing or doing poorly, it still means that you've identified an area that needs improving. I'd be happy to give you detailed breakdowns of your writing via PM if you wanted it. You aren't innately terrible, but I feel a little guidance may benefit you in the long run.

[Anacybele]

Whilst it's not nice losing or doing poorly, it still means that you've identified an area that needs improving. I'd be happy to give you detailed breakdowns of your writing via PM if you wanted it. You aren't innately terrible, but I feel a little guidance may benefit you in the long run.

Thanks, but I feel like that will just discourage me more. I know you just want to help and that you're not trying to insult me or anything, but yeah... I mean, you say "detailed breakdowns" which implies to me that you've found a lot of problems. Maybe when I'm in a better mood.

Edited June 1, 2015 by Anacybele

[Spectral Procreation]

Thanks for giving everyone feedback Spectral (makes me look less like the judger of souls or support entries or whatever).

Congratulations Snowy! I didn't win, but people seemed to like my entry again so...yay. I recommend no one here get discouraged, you all did fine.

No problem, haha. And definitely seconded. Nobody's support was bad, it's just a matter of picking which one you liked better for whatever reason. Nobody should get discouraged.

I feel like maybe two contests back-to-back was a bit exhausting, at least for me. Though I know I don't speak for everyone, since I'm a slow writer.

What? I didn't do "fine" at all. "Fine" would be...well, as well as you did, I suppose. But me? Your entry got as many votes as mine did combined. That's pathetic.

Scarletflame: Yeah, and I tried using what people said in the first contest to do better. But I didn't do better.

It's a process, not an instant result. Keep trying and you'll keep getting better! Especially if you have someone like Shin looking over your stuff.

[Anacybele]

It's a process, not an instant result. Keep trying and you'll keep getting better! Especially if you have someone like Shin looking over your stuff.

I know, but I thought I'd at least see a LITTLE improvement. But nothing changed.

[Shin]

Thanks, but I feel like that will just discourage me more. I know you just want to help and that you're not trying to insult me or anything, but yeah... I mean, you say "detailed breakdowns" which implies to me that you've found a lot of problems. Maybe when I'm in a better mood.

When I say detailed, I mean not glossing over things. If you look hard enough at anything of any quality, you can still pick out flaws. It's your call, but from the sounds of it, you look like you want to improve, but you're just not sure about how to do it, or how long it will take.

[Anacybele]

Oh, okay. And yeah, basically. It's not so much how long it will take, it's more so that I'm unsure how to go about it.

[Dragoncat]

Don't beat yourself up Ana! Mine never win either. Getting feedback on them is enjoyable enough for me.

Spectral: Thanks for giving mine a runner up! I'm glad you liked it enough and got a sense of Naroc's personality. He's mellow compared to his parents (Boyd and Cerai), and became an archer because of Rolf. He couldn't wait to be an uncle when Boyd and Cerai got together, wanted to pass on what Shinon taught him to at least one of their kids, and as you can see he succeeded. Naroc's younger sister Ciara is like a miniature female Boyd. I even broke FE tradition and made her an axe fighter. This was before FE If and its female fighter Rinka.

[Anacybele]

Yours do fairly well though. Mine don't. :( It's not so much that I want to win, I just want people to enjoy my entries enough to vote for them. But like only one or two people do every time...

[Dragoncat]

Well this time we tied. I got 3 votes and you got 3 votes. So...

[Anacybele]

Well, yeah, that's true...

[Chigai]

What I meant was doing this without limits.

Kind of a "write as many supports as you want", instead of just writing three per category. No deadlines. No pressure.

People would still be free to give some constructive criticism and everything, and nobody would have to taste the bitterness of defeat.

[Snowy_One]

If you don't mind I'd like to use my Ike/Mia support. Especially since that support had to be crammed into a C/B/A style instead of a C/B/A/S which left the finale a bit... cramped... in my eyes.

[Dragoncat]

What I meant was doing this without limits.

Kind of a "write as many supports as you want", instead of just writing three per category. No deadlines. No pressure.

People would still be free to give some constructive criticism and everything, and nobody would have to taste the bitterness of defeat.

Sounds like something people can do themselves. Make a thread for their supports instead of having one thread for everyone to post in.

[Anacybele]

If you don't mind I'd like to use my Ike/Mia support. Especially since that support had to be crammed into a C/B/A style instead of a C/B/A/S which left the finale a bit... cramped... in my eyes.

I think that would still be against the rules since you're technically trying to use past work.

[-Cynthia-]

Hmm, the issue I see with just having a free form "post whatever supports you write" topic is that there isn't really a drive to write anything. Deadlines and such often encourage people to finish things.