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my FE10 booper/paradie


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I should take offence to this but Meh on with the blooper

Ike running through the woods: Father!

???: Mmm right there

Ike: Eh?

He stops and looks in the bushes being careful not to be noticed only to see his Greil and

a certain Crimein princess doing the nasty

Ike: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

scene changes to the Black Knight looking left and right then at his watch

BK: Hmmm they should have been here sooner well screw this I'm not waiting here all night

The next morning:

Greil walks in with Elincia.

Ike, Mist meet your new mother

Mist: Wha!? Ike do you know anything about this

Ike: Mist I saw things last night that would make your eyes bleed.

Mist: What do you me..... never mind I don't want to know.

"And they all became on big ****** up family" Fire Emblem Path of Radiance the end"

thats disturbing on so many levels

i'd rather have Greil dead than them doing "the nasty"

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  • 3 weeks later...

Here's a shorty.

Tormod: Hey Vika, How are you?

Vika: *Smoking herb* 'Ey there, bossy.

Tormod: Why are you smoking that stuff?

Vika: Eh, ran out of olivi grass, y'know? That stuff's the best. We got loads o' this though. I'll live.

Tormod: Wait, you smoke?

Vika: You sayin' you can't tell? I always gots a stoned look on my face.

Good? Bad? Retarded?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I got one.

Gatrie: *whistles*

Shinon: Hey Gatrie! Did Ike just give you your cut?

Gatrie: Yep. Don't know what to spend it on though.

Shinon: Leave that to me. Hand it over and you won't be sorry.

Gatrie: ...kay. *gives*

*shinon leaves*

Gatrie: *whistles*

???: Halt!

Gatrie: Who's that?

Kieran: This is a stuck-up! Hand over your gold!

Gatrie: Don't you mean "stick up"?

Kieran: A thousand curses! Y-yes, now fork it over!

Gatrie: Why do you want money? You're in the Royal Knights aren't you?

Kieran: Yes, but I still lost all of it with my Gambling ability.

Gatrie: ...kay. Go try Oscar, he's loaded.

Kieran: Oh, thank you sir, I mean dastard! *leaves*

Gatrie: Oh hey commander.

Ike: Hello Gatrie. ...Didn't I just give you a large sack of gold?

Gatrie: Shinon took it ._.

Ike: Why am I not suprised?

Gatrie: Say commander, I've seen the way you pretend to avoid Ami.

Ike: Pretend?

Gatrie: Don't be coy now.

Ike: I'm not interested in her.

Gatrie: Okay, well how about queen Elincia?

Ike: Out of the question. Geoffrey called dibs.

*from distance*

Geoffrey: She's MINE muscle head!

Ike: What was that?

Gatrie: Dunno. Well what about Lethe?

Ike: We have practice sessions from time to time.

Gatrie: What KIND of practice?

Ike: Fighting.

Gatrie: ...

Ike: ...

Gatrie: You need to get laid man.

\\\

*Oscar's cooking at the mercenary base*

Oscar: ^_^

Kieran: Aha! There you are!

Oscar: Hullo Kieran!

Kieran: Stow the pleasantries knave!

Oscar: I can't really chat now, I have to cook Illyana's dinner.

Illyana: ^_^

Oscar: The girl eats a ton, I don't have a clue where she keeps it all...

Kieran: This is no leisurely visit! This is a-

Oscar: "Stick-up"? I overheard you and Gatrie talking.

Kieran: You sneak-theif! Why were you eavesdropping?

Oscar: I was 3 meters away from you. See? There's Gatrie talking to Ike right now.

Kieran: No matter, your money please!

Oscar: So you have huge gambling losses?

Kieran: How did you know that!?

Oscar: ...

Illyana: I'm getting hungry...

Oscar: Kieran, you realise that gambling is a piece of paper that halves your hit, right?

Kieran: So?

Oscar: It means you never lost any money, just battles.

Kieran: !

Illyana: If I don't get any food, I'm going to eat you! o_o

Oscar: She's serious, you should leave before you end up like Rhys.

\\\

*At Calil's Bar at night*

Calil: Get out you dastard! *tosses Makalov out on his ass*

Gatrie: Was he blind stinking drunk?

Shinon: Nope, he tried to feel up Calil.

Gatrie: So where's my money?

Shinon: Spent it.

Gatrie: On what?

Shinon: Booze.

Gatrie: But you said I wouldn't be sorry!

Shinon: You won't, now chug! *pours down his throat*

\\\

*that next morning*

*Gatrie wakes up in bed*

Gatrie: My head... hope I didn't do anything stupid last night...

???: Good morning, Danved made you breakfast.

Gatrie: o_o Don't tell me... did we...

Danved: Twice.

*bang*

Ike: Hey, would you two keep it down over there?

Soren: Ike, ignore them and come back to bed.

\\\

*In a rehabilitation clinic*

Kieran: Hi everyone, I'm Kieran and I have an addiction to gambling.

Joshua: You don't say... Hey wanna play a game?

Artur: Don't do that here! It's a freaking rehab clinic!

Joshua: Why not? Shinon's passed out drunk and Serra's clearly flying high on meth.

Serra: I'm a pegasus knight :)

Joshua: Point is sit down and roll the dice.

*someone bursts in*

Makalov: Did I miss my apointment?

I hate it. I'm sure you all will too.

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*back in FE9*

*A daein soldier retires to bed, but before decides to watch some TV*

TV: are you overworked?

Soldier: Yes.

TV: is your boss evil?

Soldier *thinks of petrine* duh.

TV: do they insult you, demean you?

Soldier: ._. (petrine: dogsbreath!)

TV: and finally, do they physically lash out at you?

Soldier: *rubs burns* hell yes!

TV: if you answered yes to all of these questions, you may be entitled to compensation!

Soldier: Yeah! I'll sue her ass!

*Petrine walks in*

Petrine: What was that?

Soldier: huh? oh g-good evening sir.

Petrine: Would you care to dance with my lance?

Soldier: N-no sir...

Petrine: Good.

(this will be continued later, but I g2g)

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*Gatrie wakes up in bed*

Gatrie: My head... hope I didn't do anything stupid last night...

???: Good morning, Danved made you breakfast.

Gatrie: o_o Don't tell me... did we...

Danved: Twice.

This.

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This.

wouldn't wanna go up another 10% in warns cuz of SPAM would you?

but yeah, that is pretty disturbing

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  • 1 month later...

A new one from the twisted world that is my mind a twist on Ikes memory scene

10 years ago (a few days before the fated day)

Lil Ike wakes up to a strange sound comming from down the hall

Lil Ike: "mama papa"

He goes to see whats making that sound and hears it's coming from his parants room curious he put his ear to the door. Big mistake Lil Ike hears lots of moaning and creaking

???: "I've been a bad girl I must be spanked." The poor litte guys eyes wide at this as he realizes the one speaking is his own mother

Greil: "Alright if I must." Lil Ike starts to panic cause he knows full well how much one of Greils spankings hurt he bursts through the door and drops a load in his drawers at what he saw.

Lil Ike: "No don't hurt MamAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

Elena/Greil: "CLOSE THE DOOR CLOSE THE DOOR CLOSE THE DOOR!!!"

Else where Lil Mist turns over

poor little guy was scarred for life that day

Days later just after Greil touched Lehrans medallion

A man walks up to Ike after tending to his parants for now lets call him and his partner L and Z

L: "Poor thing you must have seen every thing"

He puts his hand to Lil Ikes head and the recoils in shock and discust

the other man walks out of the house

Z: "Whats wrong?"

L: "This boy has seen things that his little mind could'nt take, I'll seal his memories so he can atleast live asa balenced person"

A few weeks later Greil had a hard time explaining this and that to Ike as the litte guy just sat there wondering what was wrong with his father

10 years later just after the memories that L sealed came flooding back

Yune: "Ike?"

He only stood there eyes wide

Yune: "I~ke."

His jaw drops

Yune: "IKE!!!"

Yune realizes something is wrong when he starts foaming at the mouth and faints

Yune: "Oh dear are Beorc supposed to foam at the mouth like that oh well..."

Rather then waiting she shoves Ragnell and Alondite in her bag grabs Ikes leg and drags him up the stairs smacking his head on each step.

Yune:"lets hope this helps you forget what you just remembered."

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