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Shade reviews Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystel Skull


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OH MY GAWD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN.

So there's this guy named Indiana Jones, who is named after his dog which is pretty understandable since I had a Dog named Wyoming Lord Sothe, and he's abducted by this women who looks like a russian dominatrix, not that I've been to many russian dominatrixs (Only 4), anyway so this Indiana guy is out to solve the mystery of the Crystal Skull, he's always figuring out religious mysteries, in the first movie it was Judaism, in the second movie it was Hinduism, in the third movie it was Christianity and in the this movie it's ALIENS, which I guess would be scientology, I WAS ALMOST A SCIENTOLIGIST (But Tom cruise said I was to down to earth for them) So anyway Indiana Jones comes out and he's like abajillion years old, (how come he keeps getting older, don't you remember in the last movie The Second to Last Crusade when that guy was like "Drink this and you shall live forever, but if you drink the wrong one you die" well I think he picked the wrong one cuz' he looks fuckin dead), and the kid from Transformers is in this, he's kind of like James Dean except he has no balls, I mean it man NO BALLS, there's this one scene where he's fighting the russian dominatrix and a bunch of shit hits his balls, NO REACTION, If something hit my balls I think i'd have a reaction (I'd be like "dude that's my balls") AND THE WOMAN FROM THE FIRST MOVIE IS IN THIS, except she's not abajillion years old, (she's like half abijillion years old) and they are out to fight the aliens (What is it with Speilburg and Aliens I mean Closs Encounters, ET, War of teh World and now this) and the badguys are kinda like Nazis only there russian, there like russian nazis and I call them Rusiz, SO INDIANA IS RUNNING FROM THE RUSIZ, and he gets out his whip (Seriously noone but Russian Dominatrixes should have whips) AND THEY COME ACROSS THE Kingdom of the Crystel Skull, and the ALIENS and then the Ruzi Dominatrix is like "Tell me the secrets" and their like "BOO" AND THE PYRAMID TURNS INTO A GIANT FLYING SAUCER, THERE IS A FLYING SAUCER IN AN INDIANa JONES MOVIE (At fucking last I've been wanting this since the first movie) and the Aliens are like "MHHHHH" and the Dominatrix is like "Ahhhh" and the sauser is like "SEXCOPTER" and I was like "Are you sure this isn't the Kingdom of the Crystel Meph" (Cuz' when I'm on Meph this is the kinda stuff I see) and Indiana Joneses son is like "Where did they go" then the crazy guy is like "They are inbetween spaces" then I was like "I think your all on Crystal Meph" Anyway I don't really remember much about this movie except Indiana Jones, a ruzi dominatrix and ALIENS....

Wait...who would make a movie like that LOL, I don't think I saw this movie....I probably just got high....

Right?

Edited by Shade
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