that's right u stinker u read the title of this thread correctly, not only do i want oswin but i want him to literally break my body into pieces
i want him to take me under his wing and train me until i inevitably make a mistake at which moment he would bitch slap me, making me fall to the ground in front of him
then, i want him to tell me how useless and stupid i am, kicking me in the stomach and helping me digest my chicken mcnuggies
the pain is terrible but it will only get worse when he sits on top of me, his huge armored ass crushing several of my vertebrae
he'll tell me to do 10 pushups but i won't be able to even make one so he'll just keep beating me and spitting on me until he decides he's had enough of me and pushes my mangled body off a cliff where it'll get eaten by serra or some other stray animal god i'm literally shaking as i'm typing this rn i want to meet oswin so badly i literally can't