Shuuda Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 (edited) This is the topic where you can post comments and criticism of my current work in progress. The story can be found here: http://serenesforest.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=35426&st=0#entry2143040 Edited January 18, 2013 by Shuuda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Can you link the feedback thread in the story? Speaking of, I have no idea what to make of the main character or his race, and there were a lot of things that I felt weren't introduced that well (for example, Ganjin laments about the loss of money early in the story, but was he getting worked up over the equivalent of lunch money or a month's worth of pay?) I've only got the foggiest idea of what kind of society Ganjin comes from, and I don't think there's enough for me to empathize with the Wights (humans, I guess?) yet. The underlying glue of an interesting plot was enough for me to read this through. It seems like most of the things I thought were confusing will explain themselves in due time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted November 18, 2012 Author Share Posted November 18, 2012 I've posted the second chapter, which took a lot longer than it should have. Sorry for beating around the bush with that. I'll be curious to see if it helps address any of your comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 And update of sorts. I have made edits to the first chapter in order to try and fix up some of the problem. I will be going through all the currently posted chapters as well in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 Chapter two has been updated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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