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edza90

Willingly have no friends - very detrimental.

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I like spending my time reading, writing, watching movies, listening to good musics\songs, stay with my family, have walks during spring\summer that lasts all day (alonging some water and biscuits to not die of dehydratation of course :D ) but I really find it difficult to find someone to relate to outside of family, despite the fact that I consider myself quite allowing with others (I let them talk most, I let them have the "command" of the situation as long as they don't start to take advantage on me or mock me) yet I have such an impeding factor that limits the circuit of people I stay with - despite the fact that I do like having a chit-chat with some people I know once in a while when I meet them.

So, should I consider this troublesome or just continue with my life like it is and staying happy with it like I'm?

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I like spending my time reading, writing, watching movies, listening to good musics\songs, stay with my family, have walks during spring\summer that lasts all day (alonging some water and biscuits to not die of dehydratation of course :D ) but I really find it difficult to find someone to relate to outside of family, despite the fact that I consider myself quite allowing with others (I let them talk most, I let them have the "command" of the situation as long as they don't start to take advantage on me or mock me) yet I have such an impeding factor that limits the circuit of people I stay with - despite the fact that I do like having a chit-chat with some people I know once in a while when I meet them.

So, should I consider this troublesome or just continue with my life like it is and staying happy with it like I'm?

It's perfectly fine, as far as I can see. Have you at least tried making good friends?

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The problem with society is that it has rules about how you should act as a person and if you aren't following those rules, you must be unhappy.

All my family loves football. I do not. I must be unhappy because I don't like it.

I have lots of friends who love partying. I do not. I must be a lonely, sad man.

I have friends who really love getting drunk. I do not enjoy beer, either the smell or the taste. I must be a weird, sad, lonely boring man.

Actually, I'm fine with myself. I enjoy playing games, being by myself, and enjoying the quiet that comes with nobody talking.

ExtrovertVSIntrovert.png

Hope this chart helps.

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It's perfectly okay. I find myself being the same way. As far as I can see, nothing wrong with it, as long as you're happy as you are.

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I answer two users here that yes I've always tried to have quality friends that didn't matter if they were not very cultured or whatever, as long as they were honest and not backstabbing like the ones I've always had - not being a self-victimizer, most of the friends I had they either betrayed me heavily or didn't want to have to deal with me anymore (out of nothing, 'cause I always treated them more like a brother than a friend).

That chart actually is damn fine with me and is very reliable, for I'm just in between extrovert and introvert (i'm green coloured pretty much): when I meet someone I can cope with, I usually thend to open up immediately (I personally find it more interesting to have something quirky to discuss immediately) whilst if I find myself in a situation where others could be potential enemies (high-school here in Italy is shit and 95% of class mates are pure golden-clad manipulative and self-centered shit) I become pretty much Oswin: such a laid-back one, talk to them the minimun, stay by my own side, but you dare me wrong, with the power of a book cover corner I make your nose bleed.

Also I thought that on the internet chats would help but on chats I only find, sorry If I state it like this, "pussy thriving losers" or "obnoxious depressed frustrated women"... I mean really! Nobody want to chat in a chatroom today!

And to think that in chats usually interesting people should be found.

It's perfectly okay. I find myself being the same way. As far as I can see, nothing wrong with it, as long as you're happy as you are.

A great way to enjoy yourself is to experiment with everything: it really adds up a batch of experience :D

Also staying by yourself usually means that there is more time to learn and then what is learnt can be shared with others that deserves it... so by helping yourself you help others.

PS: Sorry double post. I hope I won't have to sweat it, like you say there in America (in England they never catch this kind of way to say)

Edited by Shuuda

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From the sounds if it, you're not actively going out of your way not to make friends. However, the frequent mentioning of backstabbing, loyalty and disdain for your peers may suggest that your view on other people isn't stellar, which is probably what puts people off. If you're content, sure, but you may need to take a look at how you come across to others.

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From the sounds if it, you're not actively going out of your way not to make friends. However, the frequent mentioning of backstabbing, loyalty and disdain for your peers may suggest that your view on other people isn't stellar, which is probably what puts people off. If you're content, sure, but you may need to take a look at how you come across to others.

i could learn something from this man

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The problem with society is that it has rules about how you should act as a person and if you aren't following those rules, you must be unhappy.

All my family loves football. I do not. I must be unhappy because I don't like it.

I have lots of friends who love partying. I do not. I must be a lonely, sad man.

I have friends who really love getting drunk. I do not enjoy beer, either the smell or the taste. I must be a weird, sad, lonely boring man.

Actually, I'm fine with myself. I enjoy playing games, being by myself, and enjoying the quiet that comes with nobody talking.

ExtrovertVSIntrovert.png

Hope this chart helps.

I'm just like you.

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The problem with society is that it has rules about how you should act as a person and if you aren't following those rules, you must be unhappy.

All my family loves football. I do not. I must be unhappy because I don't like it.

I have lots of friends who love partying. I do not. I must be a lonely, sad man.

I have friends who really love getting drunk. I do not enjoy beer, either the smell or the taste. I must be a weird, sad, lonely boring man.

Actually, I'm fine with myself. I enjoy playing games, being by myself, and enjoying the quiet that comes with nobody talking.

ExtrovertVSIntrovert.png

I have at least one thing from every category... except for obnoxious.

As for the actual question, you're happy with it right? imo I see no reason to try to alter something that works perfectly fine for you.

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I'm in a similar boat. I don't really have any friends because few people enjoy what I do, so there's hardlyu anyone to talk to. My biggest acquaintances come from the internet.

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I have a similar issue where I get along with many people, yet have trouble making deep bonds with others except for relatives. Though I'm cool just hanging out by myself and my family. As long you're cool with hanging out by yourself, you don't need to force any change just because your life goes against the conventional norm.

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I know how hard it can be to get close to others after being mistreated. I was already teased in elementary school for being a sensitive guy, but the friends I had there made it bearable most of the time. In high school, none of my friends had followed me to my school and got picked on and singled out in the first weeks leading to me shutting myself to others and considering them and their insults to be below me. This led me to a very cynical views of others that may be why you think 95% of your peers are 'shit'. But talking with family and friends and some kind spirits in high school allowed me to go past that and be able to get acquainted with others. But the first 3 years left wounds that still have impacts to this day. Even though I have more friends now than I ever had before, I still constantly fear that they'll get tired of me and that I'm boring to be with(this and other factors make it that I have some a lot of confidence and self-worth issues). I talk with a lot of people at school, but for most people all they see is a facade of me, one that I keep in most public situations for fear of wounding the 'inner me' that is still sensitive and fear the rejection of others. It takes a really long time for me to open up to people, to share my interest with them since I feel like most people would find them laughable or boring.

My point is that even though it's hard getting over pain and betrayals, friendship is a great things to have. I'm someone that likes to read alone and play video games, but I need to get out with friends once in a while, to interact with others and share what I'm passionate about with them. I feel like the majority of human beings are like that. Even the shyest of introverts will want to have some people to share their interests with, to have a small group of really close friends with whom to share joy and pains. I get along splendidly with my brother and the other members of my family, but sometimes, I need to talk about my problems with someone that is outside from that.

It is still possible that you are an individual who is completely fine with being alone and that is entirely fine, but you may want to consider that you just haven't met the 'right people' yet. You can continue to enjoy reading alone and play games, but it's great to be able to talk with people about these books and games.

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I honestly can't figure out what you're getting at. The topic title and topic say two completely different things.

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I honestly can't figure out what you're getting at. The topic title and topic say two completely different things.

Yeah. Like the thread title says "Its detrimental to willingly not make friends." But i think he means "People believe that." And the thread is about "Im an introvert. Leave me alone."

Ok. Cool. A lot of people are introverts. In fact, on the Webz, the introvert/extrovert ratio is mindbogglingly in the introvert's favor. You dont wanna make friends cuz people did bad junk? Ok. I guess. Im just not like that i guess. Im an extrovert. Good luck trying to weed the jerks from the non-jerks.

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So what are you going to do if you go through something really traumatic, and need someone to talk to? And your family is unavailable for whatever reason?

Today I'm almost 22 - just two months and I'm into that elapse of age. Me get trauma? I look forward with optimism.

I'm extrovert in characterization but introvert in placing myself among others, so optimism is not lacking actually - reading a lot nurtures your perception a lot.

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So what are you going to do if you go through something really traumatic, and need someone to talk to? And your family is unavailable for whatever reason?

he'll talk to you of course

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If I may be completely honest with you...

People may be turned off by the fact that you seem like an uninteresting person by their standards. Part of socializing correctly is having the ability to recognize and give the people what they want. This is just what I'm getting from what you've posted, though.

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If you don't think of it as a problem then you don't have to worry about it.

I can sort of understand since my social circle isn't very big either. I'm generally friendly, but I'm pretty shy and people usually need to work a little before I open up to them. I enjoy spending time alone, but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out a little.

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If I may be completely honest with you...

People may be turned off by the fact that you seem like an uninteresting person by their standards. Part of socializing correctly is having the ability to recognize and give the people what they want. This is just what I'm getting from what you've posted, though.

I people want me to to behave like and hypocrite and tell them "yes yes you are so good at this and that ZOMG", nope.

Sorry.

I decided to follow the path of always saying the truth... I just try to "quantitize" the truth I say and the methology I expel the words from the mouthy, depending on the context.

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I people want me to to behave like and hypocrite and tell them "yes yes you are so good at this and that ZOMG", nope.

Sorry.

I decided to follow the path of always saying the truth... I just try to "quantitize" the truth I say and the methology I expel the words from the mouthy, depending on the context.

I have no idea what you're trying to say. If you're using Google Translate, please stop, and take the time to learn proper English. Otherwise, it's impossible to hold any sort of proper discussion.

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According to that chart, I am definitely an introvert. I feel like I have to keep to myself in order to preserve my dignity or image or whatever. Because I really don't have faith in my social skills.

That and I'm indifferent to mostly everybody.

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I have a similar issue where I get along with many people, yet have trouble making deep bonds with others except for relatives. Though I'm cool just hanging out by myself and my family. As long you're cool with hanging out by yourself, you don't need to force any change just because your life goes against the conventional norm.

I'm the opposite. I hate my family except for my sister. Sometimes, even my sister. Bunch of prejudiced people. Argh.

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a quote from Faye Valentine that's related to this topic


"Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. We deceive or we are deceived, thus we flourish or perish. Nothing good ever happened to me when I trusted others. That is the lesson."


edit: this one is more relevant


They often say that humans can't live alone. But you can live pretty long by yourself. Instead of feeling alone in a group. It's better to be alone in your solitude.


Edited by Aizenberg

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"Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. We deceive or we are deceived, thus we flourish or perish. Nothing good ever happened to me when I trusted others. That is the lesson."

I think members of the army, the SWAT team, police officers, or any other group heavily reliant on coordinated operations would like to have a word with Faye.

Edited by FionordeQuester

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