Integrity Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 oh hey shit we have a forum for this now shoooooooooop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 integrity doubled-posted should demote 2/10 would not bang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 This one is gonna be a long one, folks. We get through more plot than usual! Last time: I don't remember what the fuck happened and don't care! You know, considering my stance, I really shouldn't be helping the castle. Eh, money is money. It's at this point I realize I need more people to do quests. Do I look like a party clown to you?! Whatever... Safra can entertain people with knives. "It's an offer you can't refuse." Wait, this isn't already a resistance movement? MY LIFE IS A LIE! VIVA LA RESISTANCE ...I don't want to know. Eh, you'll do. Now hop to it! I got a list of errands all ready for ya. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- Holy includes all white magic, as well as potions (I believe), so no healing for you if you get this law. Behold! Thelma's awakened potential! The Touch of Death! ...Or in this case, stone. I was honestly waiting until I got the target bow so I could give her concentrate, but I got tired of waiting. Now she has shit mp. By what logic would this fucking work? No, seriously. How would this work? THELMA IS TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, RACIST ARCHER. FUCK OFF. Does that mean Delta Emerald is confirmed? Can't have that, now can we? That's no emerald. ...Unless... OI. Thems fightin words. Oh really. Uh oh. Gotta act natural. You fucking stuttered! You dolt! Now you're not even trying! You had ONE job! ONE! I just want to shove this fist straight up his ass! It's good for him! Honest! You got some nice loot there. *slurp* You bastard! I need that weapon! Never mock the insane. This is the first rule. And you broke it. Ugh.......... [spoiler=Rant]NO! It isn't a fucking figment of anyone's imagination. It is REAL. It's just as real as Marche is. Saying it's all in Mewt's head implies they're all still asleep, which, as far as I can tell, they aren't. Marche acts as if none of this really exists, despite having clan members and facing god damn threatening monsters. But nope. None of this is actually real. Including Montblanc. Who appears in FFTA2 on the DS. "My ovaries are being shoved into my vagina! Oh dear god!" HOLY SHIT, HE HAS A GUN. WHAT THE HELL. ye Nice bit of moogle fillet. I believe this is enough scars to send a message. What do you think? And I want him dealt with. So we are at a stalemate. Believe me, his "pain" is nothing compared to what I have in store for him. ........................................SHIT. This was listed as a valuable item on my guide. I have no idea why. Shouldn't this be a job for soldiers of the army? Whatever. Dick Chelney has got this. I really don't like the way this sounds. And I'm not dragging it into hell. INSTEAD, IT'S DRAGGING ME. Well, time for some demolition. You have souls I need to reap. Hope you're ready for a new master, then. First things first, we're changing your name. Something that sounds like a bitch. MY bitch. Well, this looks like an unfortunate gangbang waiting to happen. Your anus is MINE. Fuck you. By the power of "Back the fuck up, nigga." I feel especially dirty for saying that, I'm sorry. I have unfortunately not foreseen lining myself up for getting rekt. Thankfully they all survive this. We are many. You are dead. ye Oh boy, its the maid. Hark. Is that the sweet song of someone's soiled diaper? Somebody needs to get tucked in. Hop to it, butt monkey. Make sure to lick his boots extra nice~ Oh god, they're multiplying. "For a black man, kupo." IT'S CONTAGIOUS! Do the police do fucking nothing in this world? Slave? Black Man? Oh dear, the implications never end! A wha? Sounds like Anarchy. And fun! THEY DON'T?! Oh, this could be bad... Is that all they do? ... ... ... ... DOES HE DIE, LADIES AND GENTS? YOU DECIDE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 everyone kills montblanc, go against the grain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) Rather than try to mess with replies. . . In a single sentence. . ."that's what she said". I'm a rebel who keeps Montblac alive. Edited February 7, 2015 by eclipse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 Well, it seems people wanted Montblanc to survive. It's a shame I got all the screenshots before the last vote. OOPSIE! LAST TIME: Death found a black moogle whose shit got stolen. The irony was not lost on him. Then he learned we had to go to the badlands. Your grave. Montblanc already seems to be bleeding from every orifice. Don't worry! I have healing powers! OH I SEEM TO HAVE MISSED MY MARK! Such a shame... "lol, I'm getting the fuck out of here, kupo." Unfortunately he failed to check where he was going. And ended up right in the lions den. The ANTLIONS DEN. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- Are you fucking serious right now? "Fuck her right in the pussy." At this point, I regret not getting a blue mage. Oh well. A lot good that did ya. Fuck nugget. "Fite me irl, bruh." Contrary to popular belief, Guile's theme doesn't go with everything. It's actually a piece of shit. A good fisting from your friendly neighborhood Devange. Is matra magic the only thing it knows?! You can kill him! "1v1 me, kupo." Everyone decides to watch the ongoing fight. Oh my fucking god. Montblanc is on 5 hp. You can fucking kill him! "The hurst shall never die, kupo!" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? SCREW IT Aaaaaaand there's my boner. You were incompetent monsters. Spoilers: it isn't OH WAIT Well I feel like slaughtering some innocents after that. How about you? Well shit. There goes most of my magic. GOOD THING TOTEMAS EXIST Everyone died. The end. Now I can truly become the fairest princess in all the land! They never explain WHY Judges don't go there. Bitch please. I have savestates. Lady, everyone has to grow up at some point. EVERYTHING FOR A GOOD PICNIC Not even the mailman can be fucking trusted. What kind of world is this?! Holy shit. Is that who I think it is? See about that... God damnit! Is no one even slightly competent?! Homer needed some action. A lot of action. That's not what I fucking said! This sounds a lot like arguments with certain people. FUCKING RACIST ARCHER! Commandment number 1: Thou shall not fuck with Eldena. Might as well loot everything. We're branded as thieves either way. Meanwhile, Homer sucks his thumb next to this palm tree. Behold my true form and despair! Maybe if you weren't such a DUMBASS, this wouldn't of happened! Bianka was impressed by our handling of the situation. At least, that's what I'm told. Alexey decided to go take a bath on his first mission. I don't blame him. I end this session by realizing I am low on items. And I don't feel like robbing the store. Next time we'll actually catch up with Nono and see what the hell that ship was carrying. For now, I'm tired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Specta Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 T R U Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 More people need to comment on this thing, dammit! LAST TIME! Uh...Montblanc died. Off to create a useless function cause no link cables in emulation! Relax, mate. It's not your time yet. What do you mean by "borrow?" When the fuck did we do this? Whatever, more glory for us. I always wanted to be a Bounty Hunter! Like Samus! Who never hunts for bounties. At all. These fellows seem quite knowledgeable. "Of the Oxing Oxen who have Oxed the Oxes of Oxington? From Oxford high?" "...Yes." No, I was hoping to ask you. Some faggot with a lemon for a head? You seem to be mistaken. I am no faggot. I am Death. ...Well, see, now I can't let you live. "Hey...Hey, lady...Smell my armpits." Thelma later reports they smelt worse than rotten chinese food. We don't know why chinese food specifically. You have to wonder how people dodge by standing absolutely still. "Hey boss? Can I have a smoke after this?" "God DAMMIT Michealov, I told you to stay AWAY from the funny looking candy." When David isn't healing, this is bassically what he does. It's quite saddening. Censored for your inconvenience. "I have stripped down this old man! I feel uncomfortable!" And then he had white magic. That's illegal. He died immediately after revival. "I dare you to smell it again." Naturally we took the dare. Oh god, everyone smells like shit. "I have stripped the old man, again! I wish to know why I am doing this!" The mark of satan has been placed upon his rectum. Hell has waited for this day. I can hear the screams already. Have I mentioned most of Marche's dialogue is horribly stupid? It makes this LP even harder. Meanwhile, Chelney got arrested for setting a fire. He was not questioned. Why in the flying fuck would make "phoney" clocks? What the fuck is a phoney clock? Does it display the wrong time? You know, "borrowing" money is most likely the cause of all this. But what's a black moogle gonna do, I guess. He was a horrible liar and died like one. "Please, take me with you. I've lost her for now. Please, I'm begging you, I can't take this any-" With my own fucked up context, I can't tell if she's talking to Shara or Death. She's no less creepy either way. "I was never good at subtlety. Or restraint." No wonder you barely have anything to your name. "Even if you are a male." "My man senses are tingling!" I still haven't gotten an answer for the reason behind forged clocks. Devange: "The Fister is eager to brandish his techniques upon innocents." Chelney: "I'm not sure that's the right set of words you should be using..." Devange: "The Fister was never good at language arts." He always seems to aim for the ribs when he attacks from the front. Throwing weapons never seems to end in a dead enemy. He prefers to be called Kim Mewt Ung. I heard he executes you if you don't call him that. ...I was picked on? Chelney has gained some new skills from his time in prison. He simply named Safra and was treated like a king. "Damage > MP" means that as long as you have MP, all damage is dealt to your MP. It's annoying. Uh oh... He misses by the way. "The Fister kindly requests that you move out of the way before he rips your spine from your anus." Oh shit, he's packing heat! Sharla proves her dominance by expertly sniping the crazed Moogle. Ritz immediately takes the credit. Another reason to hate you! Oh boy! Meanwhile, at the Palace of Bitch. An astute observation by Cid Randell, everyone. *the sound of clapping is heard* Jesus Christ, he sounds like a toddler who wants a cookie or ice cream. You HAVEN'T done this already? What in gods name are you doing?! I swear he is a badass! "You're not you when you're hungry." I can't wait for the sound of his cries as his anus is split like the red sea. Shit's about to go down, ladies and gents! Be prepared! Now, if you'll excuse me, I got monster hunter to play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Comment. See, the reason why you went after the forged clocks is because it's one letter off of "cocks", and Marche isn't the best at reading. Ritz knows exactly what she wants from Marche, though. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 Comment. See, the reason why you went after the forged clocks is because it's one letter off of "cocks", and Marche isn't the best at reading. Ritz knows exactly what she wants from Marche, though. . . yeah she wants him DEAD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted March 27, 2015 Author Share Posted March 27, 2015 Oh boy, a double post! I hope I don't get suspended for 1 second! Last time, we found out we had a bounty on our head! We promptly did not give a flying fuck! This time we shall continue to not give a fuck and hopefully nothing bad will happen! For all you know, I could be your new boss. I'm illegal enough. "Boss, stripping ladies ain't my style." "Make it your style, dammit!" "I feel a burning sensation in my hips! And my chest!" "That's better..." He somehow did not freeze over. Oh wait, his aim is shit, that's how. I have never seen that spelling used before. Is that from them English mother fuckers in Britishland? "I told you I can math!" "Sir, that's not a verb." "I'll make it an adjective! Just you watch!" "...Eldena why are you talking to that man?!" This club is pretty shit. Only 10 gil. I need to try harder. Now hold the fuck up! I am Death! I kill bitches and hoes like you every day! My blade is sharper than the fangs of true-blood vampires! My body is tougher than the steel forged in fires of hell! My dick is more dangerous than any judge in this land! Does this look like the face of someone harmless to you?! I am the destroyer of worlds, mother fucker! Recognize! No. Why? Eh...Probably shouldn't of said all that out loud... Well that explains a lot, actually. Generic lines. Hoorah. Thelma was taken from her daily card games for this asshole. She does not like being interrupted when playing her card games. I really hope this isn't some sort of synonym for attacking with poop. Our drug offering has gone well. Now to execute our plan. At least it's not a revival spell. And then everyone died. Except for us. Also David has changed his skin color somehow. Don't you just love it when you have all these missions you can't do because you don't have the items. And it clogs up everything. Stopping you from getting better missions. Like the one where you get Lini. MEANWHILE The police are at it again, today. Racial profiling at it's finest. See? It's like New York all over again! Wait, why do I care? MY TRIGGER Face the man, man! "And you're about to get fucked!" They let pedophiles be judges? "Boss, we love you and all, but maybe this isn't the best idea." "We're doing it anyway!" "I hoped you'd say that." Racial profiling at it's finest. Or maybe their scared shitless of the Red Mist. "See, they let our kind into the police! We're not racist!" "That's what they all say!" This just keeps reminding me that I DON'T HAVE LINI! "Wanna see a magic trick? It's called Knife." "Bum Rush, kupo!" By the power of NOPE. Lot's of good shit to steal. Make sure you do. "I should do something!" something something ZA WARUDO And then the Police were dead. SHIT Wait, how the fuck did I get captured?! I won! This is your fault! "I recognize that shit eating face anywhere." "Don't you mean 'grin?" "I know what I said." There wasn't even an interrogation and I'm already confessing. Why am I so bad at this?! For some reason... Fuck that. This world does not have the internet. Therefore, it must perish. That too! Oh, you're fucking kidding me. YOU HID. A TOTEMA. RIGHT HERE. AND YOU BROUGHT ME TO IT. BY GOD, YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB. Holy shit man...Just holy shit... I don't even have to say anything. Just destroy them yourselves while you're at it! Save me the trouble! I was hoping you would. Law forbids wind. Babus has counter. Don't have flame shield. I got this. Oh that sounds painful. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- Unfortunately for you, items aren't forbidden! Suck muh dick! Now see, that's not fair. He misses. And then he died. You win. "You sure you don't wanna do anything?" "Nah, I'm good. You aren't breaking any laws." "..." "If only there was second person here to help me!" Wow, rude. Being dissed by Mewt makes him realize his true potential. Funny how that works. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVTEPBhZ2EQ Next time! Shit gon go down! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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