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Serenes Forest: The Sitcom: The Movie!


Metal Rabbit
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

\\Opening Scene//

/////////////////////

Now presenting Serenes Forest: The Sitcom: The Movie!

._.

...we coulda had a much better opening than that, but we had a limited budget to work on. Most of it was spent on crack, which our members take daily. But you already know that, am I right?

So I'm Metal Rabbit, and I'm kinda the narrator. And the writer. And the producer. And the towelboy, which incidently isn't so bad. You get used to handing your co-stars fresh towels only to have them give em back sweaty.

Depressing existance aside I-*gets shot*

Amarao: Get on with the movie! I payed good money for it!

Metal Rabbit: I wasn't aware we were charging anything. Not like I'd see any of it anyways.

*gunshot*

Metal Rabbit: While I go to the intensive care unit, you guys enjoy.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

\\Characters://

/////////////////

CGV: (Coolguyvaters) He's the leader of the mercenaries residing in the forest. He doesnt show it much, but he cares. ...I think. He's a swordfigher.

Fox: (The Fourth Fox) CGV's sister and the sedond in command. More outgoing than he is. She's a valkyrie who can use magic, staves and swords.

Zephrion: A nice tempered wind sage, and really the only level head in the group.

Kiryn: A falcoknight who likes using bows for some reason. She loves her mount.

Fireman: An assasin who kills anyone for 10000 gold. He stays in the shade and pulls pranks on his teammates.

Metal Rabbit: A sniper of unparalleled skill, and an idiot of unprecedented stupidity. Why he's still alive is a mystery.

Hanz: A powerful general. He's the main antagonist and he's really evil.

Bianchi: A dutchess residing in Begnion's capital city. She's not that smart.

Hika: (Dragonblader) A wyvern rider who doesn't ride anything. He's Bianchi's bodyguard.

Wist and Raven: Two guys who take orders from Hanz. They aren't evil per se, but this is their first appearance in the sitcom. A thunder sage and hero respectively.

Ilyana: The secluded member of the mercenaries. She likes playing dress up so much that we're not entirely sure what her class is.

Vincent: The king of the forest. He's kinda stiff.

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 1//

/////////

*In begnion in some random time*

Old senator: Where's my drink?

Waitress: Coming sir!

Fairly young Senator: So why were we all called to IHOP?

Senator: Don't know, don't care. I'm getting the blue plate special.

*a man in armor walks up to the table*

???: I'm very glad to see you all here. You senators will be very important pawns in my confident, but very flawwed plan. Now I-

Senator: Can you excuse me? I gotta take a piss.

???: Oh... um kay.

Fairly young Senator: Hey, what are you getting? I don't like ordering the same thing as other people.

Old Senator: Haven't decided.

???: *ahem* I'm sure you all are wondering about this plan. It starts with-

Waitress: Here's your diet pepsi sir!

???: I didn't want a diet pepsi.

Waitress: My mistake.

???: Now as I was saying...

Old Senator: Where's my diet pepsi?

???: ...

Waitress: Here's your pepsi.

Old Senator: I said diet!

Waitress: Then what did this guy order?

???: I haven't ordered yet.

Waitress: What would you like sir?

???: A diet pepsi please.

???: Now I was saying-

Senator: I'm back, can you start over?

???: We haven't started yet because I keep getting-

Old Senator: We haven't got all day!

(Yeah, this is as far as we're gonna go here, cause it will just end with the dude smashing a window and being arrested. But he DOES have an awesome plan.)

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 2//

/////////

(Somewhere near a familar forest)

Fairy: Link! You can damage these enemies only by-

Link: I KNOW! that's all you freaking say! *gets killed*

GAME OVER

Zephrion: dammit

Fireman: Told ya not to listen to her.

\\\

(Serenes Forest Mercenaries Base)

Kiryn: ...Stop following me!

Metal Rabbit: okay. *follows*

CGV: MR, quit it.

Metal Rabbit: >_> yes master

Fox: lol, he's your bitch.

Metal Rabbit: I am NOT his bitch! :o

CGV: It's boring today.

Fox: ...I've got an idea!

Zephrion: If its karaoke again, I'll pass.

Metal Rabbit: *sings* Never gonna give you up, never gonna-

*is knocked unconcious*

Fireman: He's a terrible singer...

Zephrion: Was that necesary?

Fireman: No.

CGV: What was your idea fox?

Fox: Let's have a training session where everyone is on their own and we all try to kill eachother.

Everyone: Sounds good.

(So everyone save two team members went into the forest to play, obviously its sleeping ugly and Ilyana, cause she's still trying who she wants to be today.)

\\\

(In the forest)

CGV: Okay, scatter!

*everyone goes in same direction*

CGV: This isn't working out...

Fox: How bout everyone get away before I start shooting fireballs?

*everyone scatters*

///

Zephrion: Be calm, its only training...

*something jumps out at him*

Zephrion: Ahh! *casts elwind*

*kills squirel*

Zephrion: Ah, its only a squirel... huh?

*falls over KOed*

Fireman: This is too easy...

///

*CGV parries fire attack*

Fox: Hey, you can't block magic with a sword!

CGV: Yeah I can.

Fox: H4x.

*Fox dodges arrow*

Kiryn: ****.

CGV: So its a three way...

*insert sexual innuendo here*

*Metal Rabbit enters*

Metal Rabbit: Sorry I'm late. Ilyana was wearing a costume of Valtome, so my first instinct was to kill her. Sorry ._.

*arrow hits him*

Metal Rabbit: You did NOT just hit me! *fires arrow and feathers Kiryn*

*The four exchange blows without killing each other, which is rather odd if you think about it.*

*Fox uses elfire and misses, causing a forest fire*

CGV: Uh oh...

Metal Rabbit: Not again ._.

*The forest is soon abrupt in flames*

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 3//

/////////

(A noble's mansion in Sienne)

Bianchi: Hika, did you get the thing I asked for?

Hika: Yes milady.

Bianchi: I've waited for this for such a long time...

*takes out bottle of liquor*

Bianchi: Now that I'm 18, I can legally drink this stuff!

Hika: But madam, you're a dutchess, you can do anything and get away with it. Y'know except conspiring to kill all the herons.

Bianchi: Quit being a stick in the mud Hika.

Butler: Lady, there's a guest at the door. He says he knows you.

Bianchi: Oh, then send him in!

Hika: He may know you, but do you know him?

Bianchi: I'll worry about it later.

???: Hello sister.

Binachi: Hello Hanz!

Hika: What brings you here?

Hanz: I'm sorry, I don't answer servant boys.

Binachi: So what are you doing here?

Hanz: Since you asked, I was in the neighborhood and decided to call you up.

Hika: But wouldn't that require a phone?

Bianchi: Oh, that's nice. I'll have to tell the chef there's one more mouth to feed.

*leaves*

Hika: So... how's

Hanz: Don't talk to me.

Hika: ...

Hanz: ...

Hika: ...

Hanz: ...

Hika: Alright, let's get something straight here, you don't like me and I don't like you.

Hanz: Sounds good.

Hika: -_-

Bianchi: Are you two bonding?

Hanz: Not really.

Bianchi: Great! Well the chef exploded when I told him his soup could use moar ketchup, and we'll have to dine out tonight. Come on Hika!

Hika: Yes madam. *both leave*

Hanz: Nice place she has. It'll be mine soon though.

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 4//

/////////

(In the forest)

Fox: Sorry guys...

Zephrion: It's okay. Vincent can just sing the healing galdrar and fix everything up.

*Vincent appears*

Vincent: No! This is the 5th time this month. You guys need to clean up your own messes!

Metal Rabbit: So is that a no? ._.

CGV: We'll pay you...

Vincent: Not unless you get me an enormous amount of gold.

CGV: Yeah... we don't have that.

Vincent: Then this is goodbye! *leaves*

CGV: ...dick.

Fireman: Yeah, so what now?

Fox: We'll just stay in Sienne for now I guess.

Metal Rabbit: Can we play karaoke on the way?

Kiryn: No! You're a horrible singer!

Metal Rabbit: You guys get the feeling we left something?

Zephrion: No.

Fireman: No.

Kiryn: No.

Fox: No.

CGV: No.

\\\

(???)

Ilyana: Oh... im so hungry... where's everyone?

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 5//

/////////

(In a nice restaurant in Begnion)

Bianchi: I'll have the salmon, no butter.

Hika: I'll have the crepe.

Hanz: I'll have the goat stomach.

Waiter: Excellent choices. I'll be back.

*A noise is heard at the entrance of the restaurant*

???: Where's the pie?!

Waiter: Guards! There's a sub human in the restaurant!

Metal Rabbit: I'm not a laguz if that's what you're saying. I'm a pokemon who bathed in silver paint.

Guard: Get on out!

CGV: He's with us. We've all come a long way, and we just want something to eat.

Guard: Why was he acting like a lunatic?

Fox: Oh, he's always like that.

Fireman: I told him there would be pie. It was funny seeing him run like that.

Waiter: Very well, I'll seat you now.

\\\

Zephrion: Hey guys? I gotta go wash up. Tell the waiter I want coke.

*leaves*

Waiter: What did he say he wanted?

Fireman: Orange Juice.

Waiter: Excellent.

\\\

Hanz: ...and that's how we won the battle!

Bianchi: That musta been hard!

Hika: *mutters obscenities*

Bianchi: What was that?

Hika: I need to use the men's room.

\\\

*Both enter*

Zephrion: ...You look familiar.

Hika: When you're peeing, you keep your eyes front perv.

Zephrion: Oh, okay but I think I might know you.

Hika: Worst pickup line ever. *zip*

*leaves*

Zephrion: I KNOW him... I just can't remember him...

Zephrion: Wait... did he just leave without washing his hands? Eww...

\\\

Bianchi: There you are Hika. The bread just got here.

Hika: Mkay, I'll pass it out to eveyone.

Bianchi: Hanz, will you have some?

Hanz: *seems lost in thought*

Bianchi: Hanz?

Hanz: Oh, sure. Hey servant boy, makes sure you pick out the sesame seeds. They're in the middle.

Hika: *does it*

\\\

Metal Rabbit: ...and that's why I always make sure I always look after I go number 2.

Kiryn: Dear GAWD you are the most disturbing thing on Tellius!

Fox: :P

CGV: Agreed.

Kiryn: Where's Fireman?

Fox: He's outside smoking his awesomely cool pipe.

\\\

Fireman: *puff*

Guard: Is it ready?

Guard: Yeah.

Guard: Alright, bring it!

Fireman: Queers.

*empties pipe and head back in*

Guard: The trap is all set. We just gotta wait for her.

Guard: Hey, I was thinking... you wanna grab something after work?

Guard: Are you asking me on a man date?

Guard: Maybe...

(Let's skip ahead before I get banned)

\\\

(everyone is back at the table as their dinners arrived)

(cept ilyana of course)

(somewhere)

Wolf Laguz: Grrr!

Ilyana: GRRR!!!

*they're fighting over an old piece of steak*

\\\

Hanz: Hey sis, would you mind going across the street to that abandoned ally and pick me up some tennis shoes? I'd do it myself but I'm still eating.

Hika: Only a complete idiot would...

Bianchi: Okay Hanz!

Hika: Wait! I'll do it...

Hanz: I INSIST she does it.

Hika: but...

Bianchi: Heard that? He INSISTS!

*leaves*

Hanz: *laughs maniacally*

Hika: ._.

\\\

Waiter: Is that all sir?

CGV: Yep.

Waiter: So would you like to have the check?

Fox: Uh wait, could I get a refill on my drink?

Waiter: Certainly. *leaves*

Fox: Okay, let's bolt before he comes back!

Kiryn: Why?

CGV: Cuz we're broke.

*everyone quickly shuffles out the door*

Hika: weird...

Hanz: *still laughing*

Hika: Yo Hanz? That laugh is kinda annoying after the first 5 minutes, but what do I know?[/sarcasm]

Hanz: You should be addressing me as Duke Hanz!

Hika: Why is that?

Hanz: Because I'm finally taking back what's mine!

Hika: Okay. I'm gonna leave, but its not to see what's going on.

Hanz: Carry on.

*Hika leaves*

\\\

(outside)

???: *screams*

Hika: My lady?!

*Bianchi is being kidnapped, but any individual with a spark of brain energy would have known that*

*Hika takes out his axe*

*Guard draws sword*

(They fight while the dutchess is being brought away)

*Guard hits Hika*

Guard: Ha! Sword beats axes!

*Hika activates Stun*

Hika: Stun beats noobz.

(The mercenaries are all watching)

Hika: Hey, you guys saw her being kidnapped, right?

CGV: Yep.

Hika: Then why didn't you stop them?

CGV: Didn't feel like it.

*all the mercenaries shook their head in agreement*

Hika: Look, that lady is my love interest in this story. Does that mean anything to you?!

Everyone: Not really!

Hika: ...She's filthy stinking rich, and she's an idiot. She'd pay you an enormous sum and forget you exist within a day. But you gotta help me rescue her.

Kiryn: Let's help her!

Everyone: Yeah!

(The first part of the story is over)

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 6//

/////////

(This act takes place back 5 years prior in Ostia University)

Wind mage: Yo!

Axman: Sup?

Wind mage: So like, I was wondering if you needed a roomie cause I need a room.

Axman: Fine by me. But you gotta clear it with my other roomie first.

Wind mage: Hi!

Armor knight: Uh, hi.

Wind mage: So can I stay with you guys or what?

Armor knight: Sure. Fine with me.

Wind mage: We should all introduce ourselves. My name's...

(even though its fairly obvious who these guys are, i wanna tell the story right so i wont reveal it yet)

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 7//

/////////

(Present time, that following morning in wherever the hell the senators meet. mainal cathedral?)

Apostle: Okay, let's take roll call!

*someone makes an unnecesary but very dramatic entrance*

Hanz: Sorry I'm late my apostle.

Apostle: Who are you?

Hanz: I'm Duke Hanz. My sister cannot be here now, and I'm here in her stead.

Apostle: Okay, but tell her she has to be at the meeting tommorow or else she's stripped of her title for no reason.

Hanz: I will remember.

*after roll call*

Apostle: Alright, does anyone have any new proposals?

Hanz: I do. I say you should give me, I mean my sister more money.

Apostle: Okay, you need atleast 3 guys here to back you up.

*3 senators stand up*

Apostle: Done!

Hanz: Perfect... ha.

*maniacal laughter*

Apostle: *joins in not knowing that he's evil*

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 8//

/////////

(In Bianchi's mansion later that night)

Hika: Okay, did everyone use the bathroom?

Metal Rabbit: Speaking of which, the one on the 3rd floor is really weird.

Fireman: There is no third floor.

Metal Rabbit: ._.

Hika: All you've done is clown around since you got here! Is he always like this?

Kiryn: Yes.

CGV: So this is the plan:

-Hika and Kiryn will fly around until they can accurately predict where the dutchess is being held.

-Then we all meet up and crash the building.

-We rescue the dutchess and kill all enemies without any of us dying.

Hika: That's right. But remember that we need to rescue her before 11 AM tommorow. If we don't, then she won't be a dutchess anymore.

Fox: And we don't get payed.

Fireman: I'll go do recon. *leaves*

\\\

(In another dude's house)

Man: *nervous*

Fireman: Finally.

Man: I-I got your money. 10000 Gold.

Fireman: Splendid.

Man: It wasn't easy... hey aren't you gonna count it?

Fireman: I'll trust you. Besides, if you didn't pay enough, I'll just tell everyone about who you hired me to kill.

Man: I'll lose my seat in the senate... please don't.

Fireman: I won't tell if you payed enough. *leaves*

Man: I regret this whole thing... 5 years I've had blood on my hands...

\\\\\\\\\

\\act 9//

/////////

(5 years ago, in that same dorm)

Axman: Hey, what is that?

Wind mage: It's called a gamecube! It's the best video game console ever!

Axman: That's great...

Wind mage: Experts say that at the rate its going, this system will be around forever!

*Armor Knight steps out of shower wearing his armor*

*Bard knocks on door*

Axman: Hey, whassup?

Bard: Got a letter for the armored fellow there. Here.

*leaves*

*Armor knight reads it*

Armor knight: ...! Dad...

Axman: What's wrong?

Armor knight: My dad... he's dead.

Wind Mage: That sucks...

Armor knight: This letter from my mom says that before he died, he changed his will so my little sister would become the next duke.

Axman: Is that a pic of her? She's cute...

Armor knight: *leaves*

Wind mage: He'll be fine...

\\\\\\\\\\

\\act 10//

//////////

(All night the mercenaries broke into every sort of building imaginable. They still couldn't find her.)

(Although, because they broke into noble's houses, they found and (hika) freed enslaved laguz.)

Fox: I'm getting tired of running around and fighting guards!

Fireman: Then don't do it.

CGV: We're never gonna find her at this rate...

Metal Rabbit: Say, what does she look like anyway?

Zeprhion: We've been over this, she's got green hair and she's wearing fancy clothes.

Metal Rabbit: Oh her? I already saw her.

Everyone: What?

Hika: Where did you see her?!

Metal Rabbit: On the third floor of her mansion. I told you, it was weird. I mean, what kind of bathroom keeps someone locked in a cage to watch you when you make a dookie?

(Everyone rushed back to the mansion, its almost 11 AM)

\\\

(In the Mainal Cathedral)

Hanz: Okay you two, make sure that those guys DONT get inside. But you shouldn't worry. They won't find her.

Raven and Wist: Okay!

\\\

Apostle: Alright roll call!

\\\

(The party is rushing to the main gate of the cathedral)

Hika: I'll take Bianchi and get to the meeting before its too late. You guys take care of these random soldiers!

Fireman: Will do.

Zephrion: Hey, I'm coming too!

\\\

Fox: Just like we practiced that time! Ready?

Metal Rabbit: Ready!

Kiryn: Ready!

*The three unleash a devastating combination of fire and arrows, raining fiery death to those faceless soldiers*

CGV: You guys can't so that!

Fox: We don't have time to worry about physics.

*Just then a bishop shot a berserk at CGV*

Kiryn: No!!! *she pushes him out of the way to take the hit*

(And Metal Rabbit pushed her out of the way to be stupid)

Metal Rabbit: :D

Fox: Oh no! Now we have to put him down!

CGV: Sorry boy...

Kiryn: Wait... he's not berserked... he's...

Metal Rabbit: Can I have my cookie now?

CGV: ...the same as always.

Fox: Wanna kill him anyway?

CGV: Nah. It's not worth it.

\\\

\\\\\\\\\\

\\act 11//

//////////

(It's another flashback scene. 5 years ago in that same dorm room.)

Wind mage: Hey, has he seemed really down lately?

Axman: It's been a month since his dad died. He's still in grief.

Armor knight: I'm going out for a while. Don't go into my room.

Wind mage: Let's see what he's been up to...

*they go into the room and notice a manuscript that says "my brilliant revenge plan by Hanz".

Axman: Let's read it...

*they read it and learn about his awesome plan*

Hanz: I told you not to read it! Now you're going to pay!

Axman: With what?

Hanz: You're memories! *takes out one of those pens from Men In Black*

*FLASSH*

*The two are fainted on the ground*

Hanz: Sorry Hika, sorry Zeph. I can't have you ruining my plan. *leaves*

(Incase you don't get it, read the below statement. If you do get it, go ahead to the next act.)

(Those three guys knew each other 5 years ago. Hika and Zephrion can't remember their college experience cuz Hanz wiped their memories.)

\\\\\\\\\\

\\act 12//

//////////

(Outside of the main hall)

Wist: Hey! here they come! *casts thunder spell*

Zephrion: No way! *no damage*

*casts tornado*

*Those guys fight and Raven and Hika fight*

Hika: Let's go Stun! *fails*

Raven: I have nihil bitch!

Zephrion: We can't damage the other guys...

Hika: We can if we change targets!

Zephrion: True dat.

*Tornado landed a crit on Raven*

*Stun sliced through Wist*

Hika: See how easy that was?

\\\

Apostle: So Bianchi doesn't want to be a noble anymore?

Hanz: That's right my empress.

???: Hold it!

*doors smash open dramatically!*

Zephrion: Here's the dutchess right here!

Bianchi: Hanz, how could you?

Hika: You really changed Hanz.

Hanz: ...! You remember?

Zephrion: Of course we did, we were pretending. Did you actually think that a movie prop was going to work in real life?

Hanz: Right...

Apostle: What's going on?

Hika: Allow me to explain your highness. This douchebag had his sister kidnapped so he could take over her land.

Apostle: Is this true?

Hanz: Uh...

Apostle: Alright, we need to think of a fair punishment for you...

*someone else enters teh room*

Ilyana: so... hungry... will have vengence!

Zephrion: Hey Ilyana!

Ilyana: why... did you all... abandon me?!

Zephrion: ...uh, cause it was all his fault!

*points to Hanz*

Ilyana: Mmm... you smell delicious...

Hanz: o_o

*Everyone watches as Ilyana devours Hanz*

lolz

\\\\\\\\\\

\\act 13//

//////////

Bianchi: How can I thank you all?

CGV: Gold. Lots of it.

Bianchi: Okay, Hika go get it.

Fireman: No need, I already raided your vaults.

Bianchi: Oh, very well.

Fox: So this is goodbye.

*everyone leaves but Zeph*

Zephrion: So... I'll come back and visit. See ya Hika.

*leaves*

Bianchi: Hika, who were those people?

Hika: What people?

Bianchi: Idk.

\\\

(In the charred remains of the forest)

CGV: Here ya go!

*gives huge bag of gold to vincent*

Vincent: Alright, a deals a deal.

*sings galdrar as the credis go*

Story: Metal Rabbit

Director: Metal Rabbit

Producer: Metal Rabbit

Senior Executive: Metal Rabbit

Junior Executive: Metal Rabbit

Freshman Executive: Metal Rabbit

Janitor: Metal Rabbit

copyright 2008 by Metal Rabbit

for use only in the serenes forest site.

\\\\\\\\\\\\

\\Epilouge//

////////////

Here's what happened to all the characters...

CGV: He still lives in Serenes Forest with his sister and the remaining mercenaries. Sometimes he goes to Sienne to pick up hookers. Last seen being treated for herpes.

Fox: She lives at the base with the others, and isn't as bored as she once was. She was later incarcerated for not paying the bill at that restaurant for a few weeks.

Zephrion: He stayed at the base in peace learning about nature. And by nature I mean that he stayed up in trees and peeped at girls who took baths in the hot springs nearby.

Kiryn: She stayed at the mercenary base and flew off for periods of time to explore the world. They say she has a boyfriend in every country. We now know that they were girlfriends.

Alternate ending: She moved to Crimea afterward. There she met and married a farmer named Brom. They had two beautiful daughters, and a big fat one. Commited suicide after realising it was a mistake.

Fireman: He fell off the radar for a while. Sometimes he visits the old mercenary base to steal money and leave. A man of mystery till the end.

Metal Rabbit: He went off on a journey to find the one being who was more disturbed and irrational than he was. He found him when he took a trip to the mirror factory.

Ilyana: After eating Hanz, she went on a journey of her own to kill the narrator who keeps mispelling her name. Since she keeps changing her appearance, she will likely succeed.

Hanz: Hanz died after being eaten. You have to admit that's a sorry way to go. But nontheless he was an awesome villain, if awesome stands for incompetent.

Bianchi: She lived her remaining days in peace as a dutchess, and occasionally forces random cat boys to pleasure her. Even though she married Hika.

Hika: Yeah, he married Bianchi and lived nicely for a few years. Then he found her cheating on him with catboys. He killed her and is serving a life sentence for it.

Vincent: As the remaining heron and king of Serenes Forest, he became a power hungry tyrant and was killed only for it to happen again to the dude who killed him.

Wist and Raven: They died. Nuff said.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

\\A Final Word//

////////////////

You may notice that there's a loose end that didn't get explained. I'm too lazy to go back and fix it.

Besides, that one loose end my spawn a sequel...

Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.

Read the Serenes Forest: The Sitcom topic whenever you get the chance.

\\\\\\\\\

\\ End //

/////////

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that was great!!!! but something was missing....

maybe all of us should suddenly come out dancing in leotards and sing a musical number?

then it would be serenes forest: the sitcom: the movie: the musical!!!!!!!!!

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...apology might be accepted if changes were made. Especially to the ending. Otherwise... hey Fireman, I got a lot of imaginary gold...

Just give me the signal and the deed shall be done.

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Actually, mine's impossible considering I would've been fourteen during PoR. Still, I protest my ending. a lot.

you lost me somewhere...?

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