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Dragoncat

What would you do if...

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Be happy everybody else has to walk places like I do.

WWYDI people were sunning their buttholes in the middle of the street in front of your house?

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Everyone in my street is old, so hide in a heavily fortified millitary base.

 

WYYDI you were put into three houses but you are forced to kill your favourite of Claude, Dimitri or any student other than Edelgard. (I feel like I've been targeting Edelgard too much, so she's safe this time,)

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Phew, Anna is safe too since she is not a student. Um, I guess Dorothea would have to die, but I will make it as painless as possible and I will try to bring her back to life as soon as possible with Crests and magic.

WWYDI if your car is a Transformer?

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Let it know tr hat it can battle the Decepticons between 7 AM and 3 PM and that I need it to be back so I can come home from work.  Also invest in insurance so that in case Megatron, Devastator, The Fallen, or Sentinel Prime rip it limb from limb, I can still be reimbursed for my loss.  If my car was a Decepticon though, then I'm pretty much out of luck at that point.

WWYDI everything you laid eyes upon gradually went blank by 1% every second you look at something?

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Look at myself in the mirror so I can become Invisible Man.

WWYDI if your poop can talk to you and begs you not to flush it away?

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I'd probably start laughing like mad and yell "FLUSH EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!!!"

WWYDI you went grocery shopping and all of a sudden, all the people there would disappear?

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Go outside and see who else got Thanos snapped.

WWYDI you contracted cooties?

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I do not know the symptoms so I don't know what I'd do.

WWYDI there was a bouncy castle right outside your door?

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Jump in the bouncy castle.

WWYDI if you have infinite resources in Fire Emblem Heroes?

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2 hours ago, Quiyonce said:

WWYDI  you walked outside to a boar, a deer and an eagle fighting?

I did not know Faerghus is just a bunch of pigs, although it makes sense since Dimitri does not look like he has taken a shower since graduation, so he probably smells like a pigsty. Anyways, help the eagle, cause America Adrestian Empire fuck yeah!

WWYDI you suddenly developed an allergy to your favorite food?

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Cry and stop eating it.

 

WWYDI the leaders of the three houses died and were replaced by Raphael, Dorothea and Sylvain?

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Join the Wholesome Deer

WWYDI you tried to save Lysithea by marrying her to Linhardt, only for Linhardt to marry Bernadetta instead?

Spoiler

This actually happened on my Crimson Flower playthrough. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND, BERNIE! >_<

 

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Force Hanneman to save her. I have ways of making him do things.

WWYDI Claude as an actual deer was eating out of your neighbor's flower garden?

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Call animal control on Bambi.

WWYDI Claude rode Bambi instead of a horse or wyvern?

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Spare him when Adrestria conquers his homeland, like I did in my run.

WWYDI Heroes introduced Rule 63 versions of its 20 most popular characters, 10 from each gender?

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Make new waifus my waifus.

WWYDI everyone can read everyone's mind?

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A world with no secrets.  A world with no lies.  A world where there is no progress.  A world where time stands still.  That is the world being proposed and is a most frightening one where all are essentially animals with no thought beyond what is now.  A world where I would either be a savage among savages or dead before I ever had a chance to live.

WWYDI there was a minigame in Three Houses where Byleth was, in a search for catharsis for his father's death, able to keep Kronya chained to a wall in a personal prison where he could in private repeatedly penetrate her with his Sword of the Creator and keep thrusting into her for hours on end until they both end in a mighty mutual scream?

Edited by Emperor_Siegfried

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Wonder why that was added and if it was Male Byleth exclusive. And be freaked out.

WWYDI there was a 2nd gen in Three Houses and Dimitri affectionately referred to his kid as his "cub"?

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Make babies with Edelgard and tell Dimitri that chicks are cuter than cubs.

WWYDI if you combine shampoo and bodywash?

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Wonder how early I woke up to do something like that and probably still use it anyway.

WWYDI Megatron became Doctor Who and teamed up with Godzilla to take the Enterprise to the planet Pandora and discovered Batman's evil plan to harvest the Indominous Rex species of all its coaxium to challenge Iron Man to a card duel to unleash the wrath of the netherdimension on Tron City only to have his plans foiled by the protagonists who learn from Sheldon Cooper that all the issues of this conflict can be resolved with just a four year attendance at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters?

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Call Rick.

WWYDI your parents played Dungeons & Dragons?

Edited by XRay

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Be very happy that they understand my interests now.

14 hours ago, XRay said:

Make babies with Edelgard and tell Dimitri that chicks are cuter than cubs.

Claude: My kids can walk already! What can yours do?

Edelgard: Screech for food.

Dimitri: Roll over and make squeaky mewing noises.

Because, deer can walk an hour from birth...I'll shut up now lol.

WWYDI a dog was in your house asking you for bacon?

Edited by Dragoncat

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Oblige and then remember to stock up on more in case the dog overlords have laid claim to the planet.

WWYDI you came across a piece of fanart of Ephraim stroking Eirikas face while the two of them looked happily into each others eyes in a private room with no one around to view them?

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Click out of it and go somewhere else.

WWYDI you found fanart of your favorite FE character but their face looked exactly like yours?

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