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Feedback for The History of Idos O'Connell.

TLSothe

By TLSothe
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Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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I posted this a while ago on FEU, but since you failed to give me an answer beyond your usual "shut the fuck up" reply, I will post it once more:

I have a question for you Sothe: In this story, people are supposedly super intelligent right. How are you going to convey that in the actual story? The worst way of doing that I can think of is just telling the readers in some kind of information dump prologue, and then go on with your story normally, failing to display this super intelligence well enough. Unless you are going to do vast amounts of research and such to get all your numbers and facts correct, someone of your own intelligence will have a very hard time presenting a race of super smart humans correctly.

And now for some new comments:

1) I believe you have been told in the past on FEU about posting character profiles... do not do it! You should let your characters be revealed through the story itself.

2) Info dumps are bad. The world, just like characters should be revealed as the story moves. Read this: http://limyaael.livejournal.com/186438.html for more information.

P.S: If you respond by dismissing my comments (Like what you said to me on FEU) I should report it for retardedness.

Edited by Fibrizo
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Oguma Newbie

Oguma

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I posted this a while ago on FEU, but since you failed to give me an answer beyond your usual "shut the fuck up" reply, I will post it once more:

And now for some new comments:

1) I believe you have been told in the past on FEU about posting character profiles... do not do it! You should let your characters be revealed through the story itself.

2) Info dump prologues are bad. The world, just like characters should be revealed as the story moves. Read this: http://limyaael.livejournal.com/186438.html for more information.

P.S: If you respond by dismissing my comments (Like what you said to me on FEU) I should report it for retardedness.

I..... feel.....like......saying..... shut the fuck up

GOOD STORY MATT!

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TLSothe Newbie

TLSothe

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I posted this a while ago on FEU, but since you failed to give me an answer beyond your usual "shut the fuck up" reply, I will post it once more:

And now for some new comments:

1) I believe you have been told in the past on FEU about posting character profiles... do not do it! You should let your characters be revealed through the story itself.

2) Info dumps are bad. The world, just like characters should be revealed as the story moves. Read this: http://limyaael.livejournal.com/186438.html for more information.

P.S: If you respond by dismissing my comments (Like what you said to me on FEU) I should report it for retardedness.

While I appreciate the criticism, this is all I'll say.

Don't worry about how I portray humanity. They are a smart, but that difference won't be visible, or as visible, because nothing we know today is valid anymore.

And, I know I shouldn't post Profiles, but that little part I did post, helps me keep track of my characters myself a bit more, and people here seem to like it.

Also, *Clicks link*

Thanks a shitload for some real criticism.

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Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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You would think that super intelligent humans and cyborgs from the future would not talk like stupid teenagers. And oh look, in reality forum member inserted characters are no different from the all the other stories with them in: bland cardboard cut out characters who do nothing but say "fuck" all the time (which again, intelligent people would not do, they would have more manners you know).

And do not use that "Oh this is one of my longer projects" to make it look like you actually put some effort and concentrated thinking into this... I doubt you even did any research into anything, and it does not look like you did any good proof reading since I can spot some basic grammar errors. If this is your idea of good effort, then...

Edited by Shuuda
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Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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*Disregards*

Coward. I am sure you love having all your little buddies praise you, but you cannot just ignore people you do not think your lame story is the best thing ever.

Edited by Shuuda
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Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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Sorry. I don't have time to delve into stupidity. Stop spamming my topic now plz.

Hypocrite. What is so stupid and spammy about my post? (I doubt you will actually post a proper answer) I will show you a good example of posts which are spam:

*Disregards*

One word post.

XD

A single emoticon for a post... I on the other hand, always try my best to put a good amount of meaning and words in what I post.

So please... you are in no place to convict me for spamming and stupidity. Now, instead of attacking me, why do you not give a proper response to my post and counter what I said.

Edited by Shuuda
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TLSothe Newbie

TLSothe

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Okay, well, I can spam my own topic. *Sigh* I suppose you won't shut up until I do counter do you? Can you hold your shit in until I spend some time with my wife? I think she's more important than dealing with you. I'll counter your stuff later today.

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Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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Okay, well, I can spam my own topic.

Maybe in FFtF, but anywhere else, spam should never be accepted.

*Sigh* I suppose you won't shut up until I do counter do you?

I will probably stop once the usual happens: your buddies will jump in and give me a few insults or tell me to "shut the fuck up" and then you will have a much easier time disregarding any truth I say.

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Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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I am going to be wife my wife today. I love her more than I love life, hell, She IS my life, and that ain't a crime. Guys, let him be....I can handle him without my buddies assaulting him.

What does that have to do with anything here? That is clearly a tactic to make yourself look like good the good guy here, but it is completely irrelevant to the argument at hand. Post something relevant whenever you want, I do not mind waiting. I am more than aware that real life is more important than a forum. But, I do not really care about your reasons for going away, keep it to yourself.

You do not need to use such tactics to get support, everyone around here will side with you anyway.

Have a nice day.

Edited by Shuuda
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TLSothe Newbie

TLSothe

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Lol...

I just figured I would give you the reason as to why I wouldn't be able to respond right away. Had I not, you would get all smug and say it's because I can't make an acceptable response. I don't care how people LOOK at me, and obviously, you don't either.

Once again: DO NOT FUCKING SIDE WITH ME! Just sit back and watch the arguement. I personally find it insulting for you guys to flame him- I can take care of myself, kthnxbai.

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