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Paperblade

Paperblade plays Pokemon Rejuvenation [Updated June 29]

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Welcome to Pokemon Rejuvenation. Like my previous (and still ongoing) series, this is a Pokemon fan game made with RPG Maker XP using Pokemon Essentials. It's heavily inspired by Pokemon Reborn, a game I'm also playing. That means this game:

  • Has 18 gyms, one for each type. Not much to say about that.
  • Has level caps. By default, your Pokemon can't level beyond 20, and this increases by 5 with each badge you get save for two badges in unreleased content. This isn't just disobedience like some other fangames, but it becomes impossible to gain experience at all.
  • Is a lot more challenging than the regular games
  • Puzzles. Lots of puzzles.
  • Most importantly: an extremely silly plot.

Among other things. You can find the latest version here, unless you're reading this months or more into the future in which case it likely isn't, but it should be in a sticky thread on that subforum. Despite all my bitching about these games I do find them more fun than the canon Pokemon games but I'm willing to overlook a lot of a game's flaws if the gameplay is fun/challenging enough. Anyway, let's get this show on the road.

Prologue: More Cutscenes than Gen7

 

 

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We begin with something that's totally not going to be important later, so you can all go use the bathroom or something.

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Seems like a great guy, frankly.

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I can't imagine why.

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How does a Pangoro not horribly crush Zorua?

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Color me disappointed there isn't a montage for this.

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Hey, remember that part about how Zorua didn't have any friends? We're about to learn why!

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Wow, turns out he's a total dick! Who woulda thunk it.

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So, what happened to the first golden apple? Did they split it? What's so special about golden apples?

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Frankly, Pangoro was probably missing a ton of signs.

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I guess "It's just a prank bro" wasn't a good enough apology.

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I love a happy ending.

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This is Maria. She's like ten.

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Yes, I really loved the story about the dickhead Zorua last night. It's my favorite.

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Off we go.

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Look at how fucking kawaii she is. It makes me sick.

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"No child of mine will grow up to believe in Arceus."

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WHO IS MARIAN?

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Quest complete.

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Freshen up? Dude I'm like ten.

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There's crashing noises here, she's not just freaking out for no reason.

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"... You're not my mommy."

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I don't think I actually cut any dialogue here, the conversation just straight up makes no sense.

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That makes two of us.

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I feel like Maria should be a little more concerned that some psycho broke into her house and is rambling on about total nonsense to someone else. Has it occurred to her that the weird noises she heard were maybe this person?

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"Have fun with whatever it was your doing, strange masked person who broke into my house in the middle of the night!"

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"Or I'll kill you."

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Maria doesn't give a shit about any of this.

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Is it too late to go back to the weird masked guy?

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See, get it, when he called her Marian before, he was actually about to call her Marianette! Eh? Get it? Eh?

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Prepare to be saying this a lot.

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What are any of us here for?

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The textbox disagrees. And it would never lie to me.

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So are you a bunch of maids who happen to be in a doomsday cult, or is that just the uniform?

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This is way more important than the maid sacrifice going on here. This girl has her priorities straight.

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She's doing WHAT?

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"Now please let me get back to my live human sacrifice, you are being extremely rude right now."

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And then she disintegrates.

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Won't she be interrupting Marianette's mother though? Maybe the lord is into threesomes.

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The calamity?

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That's it, I'm calling the cops. Sacrificing the meido was one thing, but a little girl? That's where I draw the line.

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Shou Tucker would be proud.

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Another happy ending.

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Of course I'm playing the hardest mode. So, on Intense, pretty much every random trainer is going to have 3-4 pokemon, which is more tedious than anything else because it just means you run back to the pokemon center more often. What's really obnoxious is basically every gym leader after the first is full of good coverage moves, perfect IVs, has held items on everything including stuff like Z-crystals and Eviolite, and so on and so forth. It's mostly a problem for the second gym because your options are pretty shit, but I'll talk about that more when we get to it.

Oh, and EV grinding for Speed is kinda awful because the Power items aren't obtainable until after the 13th gym (which is the end of current content) and the Macho Brace is a pretty big pain to get as well and isn't obtainable until you have at least 8 badges. On the plus side, since there's so many trainers, EXP is plenty so breeding isn't too bad--in fact, most of the game is balanced around you having a team of 6 at the latest level cap.

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Hey it's that thing I talked about earlier! Anyway, after like 10-15 minutes of weird ass plot, we finally get to do character creation! See you in another half an hour when I finally get my first Pokemon!..

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If you don't pick the girl in a Pokemon game, you don't know shit about Pokemon.

"But muh self insert silent protagonist." No, wrong, I won't hear it.

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I am a mythic bitch.

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Hmm...

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Is there going to be more human sacrifices behind them? Or a Pokemon? I don't think I've seen any Pokemon yet.

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A feast of what? Human flesh?

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Bitch, don't change the subject.

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Or run away!

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Uh, hi, I was just wandering around trying to find items. Can I go?

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I guess that's a no.

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WE HAVE AN ELITE 8 BECAUSE 8 IS MORE THAN 4 AND THAT MEANS WE'RE BETTER

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BECAUSE BETTERER

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Yes, please, the closer I get to getting a Pokemon the better.

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Dude I just want a Pokemon. It's been almost half an hour of gameplay. Please.

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It feels like an eternity.

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Why would you say this, now you've just-

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God DAMMIT.

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So this is where I get my pokemon, right? You're gonna give me a choice and we fight off these goons? Right?

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Um, you guys are on the ship. I don't think you wanna blow it up with you on it.

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Wait, no, I want my starter! This is where I'm supposed to get my starter!

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Exactly! Now just give me a starter so I can kick their level 3 Zubat's butt. We can beat them together, dear Mother!

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... Right, mother?

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Mom?

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Fuck.

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I'm calling the cops.

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I didn't even get teleported off the fucking boat.

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"Hey, Heather, you go do the dangerous job, I'll stand around and be useless." Get used to hearing that one.

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I feel you man.

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Your definition of "doing okay" is very skewed, buddy. I'm still on this sinking ship and I still don't have a Pokemon. What part of that sounds okay to you?

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Yeah, I found them, they seem to have given up on life. I was thinking about joining them.

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Never mind.

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Fuck you dude, I wish you were dead.

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Hey, a Deoxys. Surely I'll get a starter capable of handling them.

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Mother. You better have a spare Eevee or something in that hat. Before you answer, remember that I am an only child, Dad is dead, and so I am the only one who will be taking care of you in your old age.

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I got teleported up like one floor. I came back to get my damn starter.

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No shit.

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To give me a Pokemon? I'll join your team if you give me a pokemon. It doesn't even have to be a good one, I'm sure your grunts have shit like Grimers or whatever, I'll take one of those.

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THE PLAYER CHARACTER IS SPECIAL sirens are going off.

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Now that's what I call edgy

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Hey, can someone clue me in on what's going on? No? Okay.

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Fuck yeah I'm in, mother of the year.

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fuck it I'm out of here, seeya Mom good luck

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To find someone who will give me a Pokemon.

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I didn't get a screenshot of it but a Talonflame came out of nowhere to rescue me. But yes, I did. You clearly weren't interested in letting me join.

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Cut your losses? What losses? You mean someone getting away?

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No, I was trying to swim across the ocean.

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True, we didn't see a body.

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That's exactly what they want you to think. I'm not even just saying that, one of the admin literally just told me that. Then again, they let me escape because they were too busy monologuing instead of just killing me so maybe not.

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Get a Pokemon, it's been over half an hour of gameplaycutscenes at this point. Maybe closer to 45 minutes, I'm not actually keeping track.

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All those people died to give me a motivation to stop the bad guys, that's the reason. I didn't need more of one though because they denied me getting a Pokemon.

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The ship I was on just got attacked by terrorists, my mother is dead or kidnapped, and I didn't even get a Pokemon out of the whole thing.

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Wait, you just give citizenship to any random fuckwad with a trainer card? You must have a serious immigration problem.

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I love you. Marry me.

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you better not be talking shit to mai waifu

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Oh, okay. Don't apologize or anything. No, really, it's fine. Bitch.

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Nothing suspicious going on here, no sir.

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Nice to meetcha Jenner.

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You are really lucky you are giving me a Pokemon. I was just attacked by fucking terrorists, you stupid-

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ABOUT TIME. So, anyway, the choice is of any of the usual Fire/Water/Grass canon starters. The randomizer machine used to have a tiny chance of giving some non-standard starters like Ralts or Eevee, but that was removed because people were resetting for literally hours to get one of them and the game makers didn't like it.

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Meet Heather, the Popplio. He has a Calm nature, which reduces Attack and raises Special Defense. This is fine.

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But I love you. You gave me a Pokemon.

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Yep.

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I just hit Water Gun twice, calm yourself.

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Sick.

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I don't want to be alone with the creepy man. I'm not doing any weird videos with your daughter. I'll call the cops!

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Or this guy.

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Uh, excuse me? I'm not just your plaything to-

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Oh okay.

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Listen up, fuck face.

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You suck dick.

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And I'm the greatest. The end.

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Your Pokemon is and was lower leveled than mine and I got that thing two minutes ago. Have you ever won a battle before in your life?

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Why don't you send your assistant or something to play nanny for your daughter, man? I literally just met you. You don't know anything about me. What if I were some crazy psycho murderer or something?

Haha, wouldn't that be awkward for everyone involved..........

Table of Contents

 

Edited by Paperblade

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Just when I was running low on the Quality:tm: Pokemon Hacks.

Looking forward to how this one goes, I recall playing it myself but I don't remember much past the intro so.

Good luck!

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I take it that this means you aren't going to finish that FE7 screenshot that you started, right?

Edited by NinjaMonkey

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1 minute ago, NinjaMonkey said:

I take it that this means you aren't going to finish that FE7 screenshot that you started, right?

All the screenshots are on a dead laptop and I've been really bad about getting someone to try to scavenge the hard drive

I also recently moved across the country and left that laptop with my family

So it's unfortunately looking pretty grim

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Rejuvenation, man. I don't even know. The plot is somehow worse than Reborn's. This game is like that one really crappy anime you saw in middle school, but worse and with an unhealthily bloated cast. There are like 50+ characters and counting to keep track of, and they're all pretty much insufferable. It's a real doozy, this one.

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On 5/31/2018 at 11:36 PM, AlphaZero said:

Rejuvenation, man. I don't even know. The plot is somehow worse than Reborn's. This game is like that one really crappy anime you saw in middle school, but worse and with an unhealthily bloated cast. There are like 50+ characters and counting to keep track of, and they're all pretty much insufferable. It's a real doozy, this one.

Having played through this game up to the end of the current version once, I'd say there's about one and a half characters I actually give a shit about. Oh well, maybe Desolation or Apex will be completed before the heat death of the universe.

Chapter 1: Introducing the Most Special Snowflake

Spoiler

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I hope you like TUTORIALS

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Meet Heather. He's Jolly, which is pretty great. The IVs aren't the best but this thing isn't long term anyway.

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Heather, Heather, and Heather.

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So, this is the Help Center. It's in most towns and has a list of sidequests, which give you a fair bit of dosh, some items, and some rare Pokemon. Generally, the quests go from easiest at the top to most difficult at the bottom. All in all it's a neat system and is pretty much MMO quests. The building sprite is also fucking hideous, which is a shame because the art for this game is normally one of its stronger suits.

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Am I interrupting something?

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Oh, cool...

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I have a bad feeling about this.

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Are you fucking kidding.

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Seriously, what the actual fuck. There's no indication this room is any different by the way, and as soon as you enter you get that cutscene and are forced into this battle.

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Pokemon in Aevium are super tough and badass, that's why anything remotely decent is super rare!

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Um excuse me, Staraptor isn't Overused by usage.

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How'd you guys even corner Starly when you get solo'd by a Spearow?

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What does Jan have against boats? Two out of two boats in this game have been horribly destroyed.

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You're so cool. Look how badass she is.

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Indentured servitude? In 2018? Please lady, it's 2018.

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I feel like I should call the cops but she made Rick fly across the ocean.

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They're all dead. Don't mourn them.

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I hate you with every fiber of my being. I can't even comment on this coherently, I'm so angry. There's nothing funny to say here, and what makes me even angrier is that this isn't even the worst character in the game. In fact, Karen here is only top three.

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Look, just let me return the dumb bird to the girl so I can pretend this never happened

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No, it's not.

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That last line would have been funny if it was delivered by someone who didn't just spend an entire cutscene showing me up and proceeding to act like a super cool badass. Whatever, I'm going to do sidequests. Jenner wanted me to go hang out with his daughter, let's do that.

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Goddammit.

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Fuck this, I'm going to the gym.

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FUCK

Also what kind of shit name is Venam?

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Kill me.

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Bitch, my mom is a TV celebrity idol (yes, this is the PC's mom, they even call her Nancy), you're a fucking hotel clerk. Don't act like you're above me.

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That's it, I'm suing.

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TOO LATE BITCH

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Emotional damages. Also bruises. Also you're a general hazard.

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We'll see if that stands up in a court of law, you little shit.

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Now lick my boots.

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I feel like I'm in a Rodney Dangerfield joke. No respect.

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So, this game has an achievement system. It's not complicated, just stuff like buying/selling/using items, evolving pokemon, fighting trainers, walking around. More like milestones or whatever. The more annoying stuff to do gives more points, and you use points to buy items here. You can buy vitamins/rare candies cheap, but they're not really worth it because the Cards give access to EV training rooms for the relevant stat. The Golden items allow you to use a related HM move if you have the badge for it without needing a pokemon to have it (think Ride Pager), but it's kind of annoying since some of them aren't really obvious which move they correspond to. And the Exp All works like the modern Exp Share.

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The fucking Dogars song from BW2 is playing. That song does not have a beat that drops.

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You live next to a train station. Have you ever lived near train tracks? Those things are loud even if you're a block away. Surely these people already accepted noise problems.

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"I'm a rebel, but not enough to curse. Mother would not approve." Fucking loser.

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Did I just witness a murder?

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Normally I'd leave you to die, but I don't see any other way of getting the plot to progress.

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Flattery will get you nowhere.

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But I want to watch. I've never seen a real human die before. I want to know if it's like the movies.

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Oh god she's the gym leader. The gym leader is a little punk who lives with her mom.

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Holy shit you're a fucking loser. Remember this whole section whenever Veronica tries to act tough.

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You hang out in the sewers? I mean, I guess you get kicked out of anywhere remotely livable just by existing, so I'm not surprised, but still, that's low.

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You don't even know my name.

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I feel bad if it worked on you without that.

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Ren pulling far ahead in the best girl standings, with his sick burns and sick of your shit attitude. Not that he has much competition beyond Amanda, but hey.

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Yes, it's hilarious.

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Yeah, too late, I already did.

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Don't you have professionals for this sort of thing?

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Considering you had a base level starter and aren't a total newbie, I find this totally believable.

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Meet Heather.

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Fuck you, you didn't have to deal with trainers or wild encounters!

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Flicker? I thought it was out.

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Isn't that where we're going? To see Melia? The person fixing the generator? In the locked room? Whatever you guys don't listen to me anyway.

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I flipped three switches. This was too complicated for Ren.

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Sup y'all, already fixed the power issues, we can all go home.

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This is how I feel about most characters in this game.

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Wait a minute.

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YOU'RE THE LITTLE SHIT THAT RAN INTO ME AND RAN OFF

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Game's over, everyone go home.

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Don't you guys have biologists who know this shit? 

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Special snowflake alert.

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Isn't your dad a professor that studies Pokemon?

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Turns out a couple of idiot kids caused all the problems. I'm not surprised from what I've seen from them.

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SPECIAL SNOWFLAAAAAAAAKE

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What the fuck, why are we doing this? This whole thing was Veronica and Melia's fault!

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DAMMIT REN

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You aren't shit.

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That's where you're wrong, bucko.

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Thanks, Chekhov, I'll keep it in mind.

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Why? You'll just make things worse.

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What a coincidence, your dad already asked me to do exactly that.

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Yes, Ren, let's escape this hell.

 

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Nope, a level 49 Kadabra against a team of level 10s tops isn't overkill enough. Gotta give it dual screens support too!

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On 6/8/2018 at 9:51 PM, Mage Knight 404 said:

How many people are we gonna have to blacklist from appearing in the eventual Pokémon Heathers musical at this rate?

I've been told I failed miserably by not naming my main character "A babe" or "Someone"

Chapter 2: You're My Best Friend

Spoiler

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That was the easiest level 6 Voltorb Flip I've ever done.

I spent like an hour playing Voltorb Flip to get TMs. There's Hidden Power, Flash, and Substitute. For Pokemon there's Seel, Spoink, Helioptile, and Maractus. The Pokemon are not great. Spoink is probably the best of them on typing and not taking forever to evolve.

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I wish everyone else was dead.

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Aren't you an Elite 8 member? How much stronger can you really get beyond not using a monotype team?

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Oh, wow, a train ticket! This totally makes up for my mom being kidnapped by terrorists! Thanks!

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Spoilers, we don't.

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Dude, we both took a train to get here. You probably saw me on it.

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You see, the joke is that I have no personality or free will of my own because I'm a silent protagonist. Making me a doll.

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I don't remember why I took this screenshot specifically, but she rambles on about the healing and PC stuff even though we already had a tutorial on this.

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Modest.

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I put up with this game's plot, so yeah, I do.

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Sure. I don't care. My mom is missing.

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Queue a montage. Melia is now my best friend.

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Thanks montage!

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Every dungeon is accompanied by someone so far. It's kinda nice because you autoheal after every battle. It's less nice because her Buneary frequently uses Fire Punch over its STAB Double Hit.

93E5ZVr.pngPv6yA2I.pngSXcCUEF.pngfwZpAB0.png
This Vivillon pattern looks awful.

b4Fy3Qy.png6LteNqq.png539XG8d.png
This wasn't a long walk and we saw a lot of people along the way. Surely someone has taken pictures of them before. 

FpP7QZ0.pngn5XPKXF.pngLtyMdgh.png
She doesn't explain what they say and we can't read them because life is suffering.

I0v8kZd.pngsM43Ilb.pngJtvZDgd.png
This will definitely end well.

VpuRNpl.png
Do you guys not have satellite imaging? How is this a totally unknown area?

YGOWILm.png9uPxQgp.png
I agree, right next to the ominous Arceus statue is the perfect place for a picnic.

Lkn9QGN.pngXAMCQV8.pngFEDMo2o.png
Because having a montage where the game tells us we had a good time is just as good as making an endearing character that people actually care about.

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Yes, I'm going to go find my mother, destroy Team Xen (which is a silly name), and take on the Pokemon League. 

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Bitch, I just gave you three things that are way more important. Also I literally just met you and have no reason to care about you.

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Yeah, that's right you stu-

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Do I get a badge out of it? You are the future Normal Gym Leader after all.

OL6pvwy.pngwsKg0tp.pnge2jTtYw.png
Bitch, I will end you.

d0ASr7d.pngTYLRIPQ.pngPZUR0Xp.pngBBkM912.png
If you weren't an idiot and just used your damn STAB, you wouldn't have taken that second hit.

KHaAQwI.pngNaqfUlv.png
Die.

HZeStNW.pngOWBQVgp.pngPSIeb4v.png
The classic make them ragequit strategy.

jOZYHEA.pngSu64QtW.pngRIo4hRY.pnghtP2rOb.pngP4BKfC1.pngFnskbfn.pngQ4lqH0p.png
Nothing interesting here. Reminder that her entire team is shiny, because she is the most special.

PCFoUGO.png
Oh, you foolish naive fool.

AHg1qoi.pngPhpuOgu.pngRvRZnV5.png
So, I'd like to point out that Togepi is not a Normal type anymore. This is against the rules.

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Like getting a sixth pokemon.

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That's loser talk. As the protagonist, I won't lose to anything*

*bullshit that's 50 levels higher than me notwithstanding

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Oh, great, I can't wait for more awful things to happen.

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Team after Melia battle. I have two Rattatas because the second one was shiny and catching shinies gives AP.

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This was more entertaining and original when Reborn did it.

CMcndcR.png0rSbrXg.png
Anyway, before I continue the plot, there's this optional battle.

zkJXOQM.pngUVxIrmd.pngFh5PK6w.png9hiaF6j.png
Bug/Grass is incredibly weak to Flying, so Heather can easily bully the first two. Leavanny, however, is a pretty big threat since it runs Secret Power.

TPjnv1l.pngLgy3jK4.pngbvOYrGk.png
I don't remember what happened here but I think the AI did something stupid. It might've used a healing item after I Gust'd it?

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I have no idea what this item does.

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I hope you enjoy the PC.

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Who the fuck is Karin? Why is her name almost identical to the crazy witch known as Karen? The world may never know, this is a bit NPC that never shows up again.

6efy0jb.pngUXxj4ol.pngVwzpcGy.png
Yes, yes, I'm the greatest, I'll save you.

1r7n3fF.png
You idiot, if you or anyone else ever listened to me you'd know those guys are--you know what? Forget it. Your safety's not my problem.

kfKe10f.pngjUekPeH.png
How did you just let an old lady walk away from you?

cQUW0b8.pngzMYUWRz.png
Yeah, they also blow up boats and kidnap mothers. Not that you would know.

XTlSYh9.pngsCqReTl.png5LHXWx5.png
...

oRISTPV.png
...

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Let's just all pretend this never happened.

s0Fodg8.pngrmix6u7.pngPZCQhIl.png
Okay, I know what you guys are thinking. Who knew Melia would be in Goldenwood Forest? Heather, right?

But before you go on and accuse me, consider this: Would I really sell Melia out to Team Xen? No, I wouldn't, because I would never work with Team Xen. I hate them. I'd sell her out to other thugs, like those guys trying to kidnap a Starly.

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Anyway I-OH GOD WHAT IS THAT THING

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Is it shiny? Melia IS special that way.

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Oh. Okay.

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Colosseum and Gale of Darkness are canon in this setting or something.

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Oh, okay.

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I've opened briefcases before and I'm pretty sure I can, game.

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How do you know what a Snag Machine is? Were the events in Orre really that big a deal?

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Yeah, yeah, I played Colosseum. I don't know why you didn't copy the "every battle is a double battle" or like any of the cool mechanics from those games.

... Like not having any wild battles. The wild encounter rate in this game is like 2-3 times higher than is sane.

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Dude you have literally one pokemon that I can just catch.

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It wasn't even hard.

Anyway, Shadow-type in this game is super effective vs. all other types so dual-types get fucked. They also take neutral damage from all types except other Shadow moves, which they resist. Furthermore, a lot of Shadow pokemon when purified will come with moves that are otherwise unlearnable by their species. However, their IVs are generally pretty poor (10s across the board is standard). 

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It's almost like the guy who gave it to us is a member of Team Xen or something. The suspicious conversation he was having when we were introduced to him didn't make that obvious or anything.  

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What is there to think about? It's obvious! Besides, there's like a hundred other things in this game that only work if I use this logic! 

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Thanks for the lesson in morality, Melia. You do know we're in a world where dogfighting is the most popular sport by a huge margin? Just making sure.

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Hey. I, the Player Character, am still here. Planning to acknowledge me any time soon? No? Okay. Cool.

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Who cares?

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Or that.

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Can I go back to being mostly forgotten?

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Can't you just heal your own Pokemon?

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They lost one pokemon between three trainers and ran away. What did you expect?

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YOU HAD ONE POKEMON

ONE.

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That's right, kids, Jenner is the traitor! But we won't say it explicitly even though it's super obvious!

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Bold words.

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Sharon's facepalm animation is one of the best parts of this game.

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Oh god, have I been demoted to "and someone?"

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And now he's mine, to sit in my PC forever as a shadow pokemon.

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Chances this guy is trying to be romantic versus being threatening.

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Bam.

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I like you. You know what you're about.

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Can I sell her to you? Take her and let me go? Eh?

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Wait, no. That's not okay.

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Also you're not going to kill me. I like living!

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MELIA YOU HAVE INFINITE HEALING ITEMS YOU FUCKING

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GOD DAMMIT

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WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS GAME HAVE A MURKROW

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Melia has one Pokemon. One. And it's a fucking Togepi that hit itself in confusion and died.

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Whatever, I don't need her. I have a significant level advantage.

CFcwqSd.pnggVfxfhZ.pngNuqngiO.png|
That's right, Sharon, know your place.

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What the fuck, you can't do that. I beat  you in a Pokemon battle. Just go run away or whatever, or I'll have my Brionne kill you.

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And you can't do that!

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What.

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Oh, it's Garbodor. How did that get here? We took a train to get here.

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your pokemon are all dead

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I already beat them! We could've just killed them if they tried to do anything. Why are we pretending Garbodor did anything?

MrpoC3y.png1vvKYFl.png
Hahahaha no. Today's update ends now, Melia.

Next time: The real boss battle.

 

Edited by Paperblade

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50 minutes ago, Mage Knight 404 said:

Full Shiny teams are the best sign of a special snowflake.

So they are one of these?

Spr 5b 615 s.png

 

I don't get why people play awful fan creations, but I find something of worth in your suffering. 

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Listen, this is a mature Pokémon Hack. If they write compelling characters, not only the game wouldn't be any better than an official Pokémon game, but they wouldn't have time to write snarky dialogue and pretend things are far more mysterious than it actually is.
All in all it's a win - win situation !

Though why they think imitating The Mos is a good way to amkes a character loosk cool... That I can't explain.

10 hours ago, Mage Knight 404 said:

Full Shiny teams are the best sign of a special snowflake.

In the real world, it's teh proof of someone who just discovered PKHeX/Any type of AR for the first time.
Though given her knowledge in Pokémon Battle, that doesn't seems too far from the truth.

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Melia is the greatest character of all time guys.

Anyway, this week you get TWO updates , woohoo.....

Chapter 3: To Hell and Back... and Back

Spoiler

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Your grunts all suck. Also, what is that thing behind you?

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No, seriously, what is that?

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... I will beat you within an inch of your life.

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Not for me! Can I get a single answer here?

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... What.

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I give up. Can we just have the pokemon battle now?

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No, that's why I asked. Twice.

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A what?

7WndEBG.pngHnVjHYe.png
This is going from 0 to 100 real fast. I mean, if you ignore the terrorist attack that blew up a cruise ship and kidnapped my mother. Which seems to be a thing we're doing.

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But you've already conjured it. Like, it's been here this whole time.

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Can I just forfeit and let you have her?

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Wait no I concede!

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Fuck.

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RIP Heather, used to scout his lead.

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And revenge.

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Why do you have a Type: Null

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Alright, everything is fine, I got thi-

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Fuck.

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FUCK.

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I hate you so much.

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The rest of the fight was a walkover though.

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But seriously, is it too late to just give you Melia? I don't really want her.

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Boom.

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Go ask the dev to nerf it then or ban it to Ubers or whatever, you fucking baby.

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She's not wrong. It has no weaknesses and is super effective vs. every type except itself.

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What the actual FUCK is that

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Shut up Melia, I said it first!

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No. I refuse. You lost the pokemon battle, you move.

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That's cheating!

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I can't, I'm in a cutscene!

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I BLAME VERONICAAAAAAAA

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Am I in hell?

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Satan? Is that you?

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OH GOD IT IS

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Are you going to use something other than your Togepi?

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Melia you fuck! I thought you were gonna help!

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Surely you have a better move than that.

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Surely.

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I legitimately have no idea what the AI was trying to accomplish there. Well, I got off two Icy Winds and it's still faster. Good work Heather.

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But not fast enough to not get flashed like four times by Heather.

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Praise Heather.

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You said you were going to help and you lied!

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M-mom? Was it all a dream? Haha, of course, it was just all a bad dream...

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Shit. I'm still in hell.

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Yes. You didn't do shit to help me. Don't try to feed me this story about how you and your pet trashbag attacked the Gyarados.

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It's because even the Garbodor realized it's better than you.

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Wasn't that our plan from the start?

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Wait, what?

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Why didn't we do this from the start? What the fuck, I went through a portal to hell and fought Satan the Gyarados and you could've done this the whole time?! I almost died, Melia!

... Also, what about all those other NPCs? You did remember to take them, right?

 

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On 6/22/2018 at 11:42 AM, X-Naut said:

Shadow-type sounds like Nuclear-type all over again.

Yes, but it's actually canon! Colosseum and Gale of Darkness are great games and you should check them out if you have a chance.

Something I should mention for people unfamiliar with Shadow Pokemon is they can't actually level up. Instead, any EXP they get is stored til later when they get purified. Purification is done by opening their heart gauge (which is done by running around and I think using them in battle). However, this is not possible before the first gym in this game so all the Shadows I got are unusable (not that it matters since I'm not using any of them). But basically the end goal for any Shadow Pokemon that you actually plan to use longterm is to convert them into a normal Pokemon. In the canon games there are items that will instantly purify a Pokemon but Rejuvenation doesn't include any for some reason.

This is doubly important because Shadow Pokemon also can't be used in gym fights because they're abominations--you can't start a gym fight if you have one in your party, you have to go box it.

It's worth noting that some Shadow Pokemon in this game also come with moves that their species can't normally learn. I don't know all of them off the top of my head, but there's a Quagsire later that gets Flame Burst as an example.The real flaw with how Shadow Pokemon are handled in this game is... well, you'll see eventually.

Chapter 4: Karin is Dead (First Badge)

Spoiler

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Melia, where are Karin and the others?

V5vh75T.pngUslmu6F.png
I guess they're dead.
xqjdUon.pngJq5ASmq.pngs94aWuP.png
|Okay, have fun. I have other things to do like literally anything else.

upE8sVZ.png
Or not.

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Can I just go? Please?

RKOaJAN.pngMYF1YOS.pngOJEpRfT.png
Honestly, it was way more suspicious that way. I didn't recognize her, she could just be your girlfriend or something.

uTfomj8.png9KQVxia.pngUcpmHn8.png
You mean like by talking to some team evil admin on his giant fucking monitor that anyone walking into his office can see? Oh wait, he didn't want to do that. So how is Jenner being reckless?

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Hasn't Zetta called you by now? You guys do have phones, right?

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... What kind of stupid name is Madame X?

duEb23A.pngtEICukB.pngJNuC9lO.png
... I don't think you understand how adoption works, lady. Also, if you had a baby Melia, why didn't you guys like... raise her in your evil cult or whatever? This is how indoctrination works, kids are highly impressionable. This all seems roundabout, unnecessary, and reckless.

Hey, there's that word again, applying to not Jenner.

aQRNeEo.pngFqJ0kvb.pngpVvF7PM.png
The words of a man telling the whole truth and nothing but.

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Jenner just wants to be a daddy.

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Okay Melia. Our cover is blown, let's run!

XrB1Z6W.png
You total idiot.

2jp5ZTs.pngF1Wa0ki.pngTIPO32Z.png
If that's what you took away from this conversation (and also the part where he gave us the snag machine and sent me along to help and literally everything else he's done), then you're beyond stupid.

Jf7NBo1.pngbn1fHvb.png
I mean, I get she's realizing her life is a lie or something, but Jenner is risking his life by betraying a terrorist organization that can spawn portals to hell filled with demon pokemon here.

yYITXd9.pngTWSnXKr.pngj5HeD3j.png
WAIT NO DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS YOU FUCK

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wait what the fuck

You weren't even sure if I could do it and just sent me out there to fight the spawn of Satan.

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, dude, I could've died!

Maybe Melia was right about you.

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Yeah he was pretty easy beyond the Type: Null

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See, Melia, this was a bad plan. I told you it was a bad plan. But no, no one ever listens to me.

3ZOZtTE.pngxKyp9Cj.pnglUSKVbs.png
Well, we're fucked. Why didn't we run when I said to? Was it that important to tell your dad you hate him?

eQffUpa.pngvZjwc5c.png
Oh, no, I guess Melia can just run away. Unlike me. Because I'm at the mercy of cutscenes.

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Can't you just kill him now? Or me? Can I have my mother back?

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Really? I'm absolutely shocked that, having been to Route 1, we now have to go to Route 2 and not fuck around in the city more.

Second of all, since when am I your bitch that just does what you want? I have my own goals, you know (haHA just kidding because I'm a silent protagonist)

hORDv2n.png0h9tlpc.pngjSbHOYc.pngPS9F1D9.png
Wait, wait, hold up. You also knew about the demon Gyarados and didn't warn me? You were planning to send me out there with nothing but a level 5 starter alone.

You should just stop talking now.

5bVBvZZ.pngFYtsEKC.pngpU2Umpz.png
JENNER TRIED TO HAVE ME KILLED REN HELP

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I agree.

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Can we go back to the previous dumb plot? I have a bad feeling about this.

QUDzfLA.pngrbZ0N3F.pngArGeVLo.png
And he's gone. Probably to find some other innocent teenagers to send off to fight Satan.

cE8lbiR.pngoqE5zX9.pngqJp7ncR.png6aXXwtw.png
Thanks for the notice, random uber Gothitelle. Playing this game will lead one on a path of despair, got it.

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She's saying we should leave Melia for dead. I find it hard to disagree.

Edekzc0.pngRRHFuZh.pngvZhrzbU.png
I'm not sure if you're aware of this because no one else seems to acknowledge it, but they kind of blew up the boat I came in on and kidnapped my mother.

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Yes, Jenner already established this.

zxawmv4.pngnFcxi56.pngIuUgAbO.png
Can't we call the cops or ask like anyone else with Rock Smash to help us? Like, I could call up Tesla or something. She has a Talonflame that's really fast. This just all seems really unnecessary.

qHsM73A.pngt44giPs.pngt8aQ7ma.png
I didn't cut out any dialogue here. There's not even an interim where I can control my character, the game teleports me out here and Ren immediately contradicts himself.

JYMcfzA.png
Anyway, every trainer in the city gets reset now with higher levels and 1-2 new pokemon, so that's like another ten or so battles. Then it's off to finish the help center.

FItZ8fm.pngelMAceM.pngsKD0863.png
Sadly, this item never appears again. tbh it'd be cool as a limited/rare item. The level limiters are really annoying since a lot of the pokemon you get early are either garbage or evolve in the early-mid 30s (stuff like Koffing, Spoink, etc.) so your options for the second and third gym are heavily limited because of this, since those pokemon struggle to keep up. I will rant more about this when the time comes because I think this is one of the worst parts of the game in terms of game balance/mechanics, tied with level 45 kadabra.

Anyway, onto the-

70QgUPr.png
Good lord.

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Fortunately, overleveled enemies are much easier to deal with 2v1

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And speaking of pokemon that suck until their mid-30s evolution.

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The final help center request is a trainer battle vs. someone with six gen7 pokemons that I apparently didn't bother to take any screenshots of. The reward is Pichu, who has pretty good IVs. Too bad Raichu sucks.

mxbWQhH.png
The puzzle in this gym is basically color wheel. There's a poster at the entrance listing combinations, beating trainers tells you what combinations you need to make to proceed. Pretty straight forward.

1oc9cA3.pngv1nMmSl.pngwUEaezp.png
Shouldn't you just throw this to go save Melia? Whatever, Veronica.

MOVd8ps.pngerqeiO0.pngi0NirLa.png
My whole team has Pecha Berries, except Heather.

VR5E8qO.pngvXcVFXt.png
And that's why. This field also does Poison-type damage to any grounded non-Poison type that switches in. Like Stealth Rock.

MM0HEEd.pngxF9U0o0.pngfIxmUOh.pngSMjHtOO.pngCrOEHz0.pngh6ApLGl.png6r85X2z.pngAhcLZEu.png
Grimer uses up all her healing items but takes out two of my guys. But that's okay because this is the only pokemon of Veronica's not vulnerable to Psybeam spam.

CEFaCpH.pngwCtSUx0.png
... Yeah, get used to seeing stuff like that.

Hn483Q7.pngR7ckUro.png
Seviper is a kind of shit pokemon though.

alM5yQo.png8qj78Xq.png
Mareanie has Merciless, which is always active in this field. It also has Eviolite, because fuck you.

mZ8ZIcE.pngWijWcsb.png3Lrn0kF.pngpr42C6t.pngPBGhK94.pngHJvXREt.png3FEOUtx.png
Whirlipede also has Eviolite but that doesn't stop the 2HKO train.

wsj63Jx.png
What flaws. Name a single flaw of mine.

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That's right, you can't.

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Well, my expectations for her are at about zero after Route 1, so that doesn't say a ton.

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Frankly, I'm glad that you've bothered to ask this question, because everyone else just kind of assumed I'd be all gung ho about this

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Aw shucks, I'm being read like a book!

U7KjN49.pngFosyOvn.png
But I already answered.

m0FKzBL.png
So... yeah, Karin is dead.

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pokemon coliseum and Xd were great, and id love to see a spiritual successor to it or something similar in the future.

 

anyways, damn is this particular game wordy AF, curious how they fuck up shadow pokemon here btw.

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