Corrupt a wish: FE edition

[Hawkwing]

Uh... your wish is granted, but there is an influx of low quality Fire Emblem memes that temperately taint the series reputation and result in Nintendo pulling the plug on it.

I wish that Three Houses had a world-renowned therapist be at the monastery to help the lords and other students work through their tragic backstories.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, but because they're such a good therapist, people from other FE games come and try to seek help from them, including Ryoma (traumatised by Fandom and Conquest) and Gunter (traumatised by his trip to Valla), who have a massive blue because they're from rival nations, which also inspires people to fight over the therapist, making things worse than they would be without them.

I wish psychologist characters were a thing in Fire Emblem.

[Hawkwing]

An entire morale system is added into Fire Emblem, where depending on how well or badly a fight is going, whether a unit is damaged, killed, healed, or buffed, or what happened in a support conversation and/or story, a character's performance will either increase or decrease dramatically, which can lead to status buffs, debuffs, or even effects like berserking or attacking twice regardless of speed. Psychologists help tremendously in increasing the positive effects of morale and keeping them high, but if they're even attacked then morale takes a massive hit, if they're damaged everyone panics and goes beserk, and if they die then the game may as well be over as your units commit mass suicide. Oh yeah, and the same game has a tripping mechanic that causes 1 hp damage than can happen anytime, and a programming oversight treats it as regular combat. Have fun!

I wish that Fire Emblem Fates had some kind of Turnwheel mechanic.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, it can be only used in Casual mode in Birthright, because it would break Phoenix mode gameplay... and because IS wants Classic mode, along with Conquest and Revelations, to be as unfair as possible (especially Conquest). And the turnwheel mechanic is only there if you goof up when giving orders (e.g. making a typo and accidently telling your character to "wait" instead of attack) and cannot be used to go back a turn or to reverse a battle (e.g. cannot undo making a character attack an enemy). And because of this, "Battle Saves" are no longer a thing; they are completely replaced by bookmarks, even on Phoenix mode, for "balancing purposes".

I wish someone shared my desire to make fanworks of Ryoma going insane.

[Hawkwing]

Granted, but it results in everyone who views said fanworks going insane as well.

I wish that there was a deeply intelligent character in the fighter class.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, they're a total nerd, but they were never any good at fighting (so they ironically went for the Fighter class to get good at it) which explains their low Skill and low Hit rate, which is actually much lower than the average for the class as a whole.

I wish that there would be an error screen in Fates with Ryoma breaking the 4th wall and saying that a serious error occurred (when an error does occur, that is).

[DragonFlames]

Ryoma cosplays as Neptune from the Neptunia games when he does this.
Oh wait, this is the Corrupt a wish thread, isn't it? My bad...
Uh...
The error that makes this happen is so egregious that it deletes your save file and makes the game permanently run at half speed afterwards. It's also programmed to auto-occur after you've finished min-maxing the last character on your current roster (which - if you are on Revelation - is a LOT of grinding that goes down the drain).

I wish IntSys makes the Nothing-to-report-guy playable in a future Three Houses update.

[The_antithesis]

Granted. He's as useless in battle as Flayn.

I wish Lysithea gets to live a long life if she gets any A support with Byleth, Linhardt, Hanneman or Claude, regardless of who she gets a paired ending with.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, but she dies a horrible death if she doesn't get an A-Support... and now it's a lot harder for her to get supports.

I wish the next Fire Emblem has no nations fighting each other, just the good guys being attacked by an insane dragon and his/her army.

[DragonFlames]

The game is now a complete deconstruction of the insane dragon trope Fire Emblem likes to play painfully straight all the time, making that dragon the most memorable villain the franchise has ever seen. They are also now the absolute fan favorite and everyone says they're a great character, even better than the lord character, who gets absolutely trashed to the point where he is even less liked than Corrin. The game also features a fully customizable Avatar, marriage, and children. Also, only the Avatar can marry and the person he/she marries will say lovey-dovey stuff to them when they're paired up in battle or interact in the hubworld.

On 8/25/2019 at 2:08 PM, The_antithesis said:

Granted. He's as useless in battle as Flayn.

Well, that's great then, because in my most recent playthrough, Flayn was one of my strongest units. In every other playthrough where I had her (of which there were two, excluding the one I already talked about), she pulled her own weight just fine, even when it came to fighting stuff.

I wish the bolded part of the text above would come true in the next Fire Emblem game.

[Hawkwing]

Granted. The avatar lives in a world of hyper-celibacy, and the population reproduces asexually. The avatar is seen as a maverick, and once they romance someone and get married, as someone who will corrupt the noble virtue of chastity, and thus is hunted down with ridiculous thoroughness, and is executed in an excruciatingly painful manner if they are caught, which is very likely as despite not having the petty sins of lust, perversion, and adultery, murder, lying, stealing, covetousness, disrespect, cursing and every other kind of evil still exist.

I wish that one of the DLC maps for Three Houses (or the next Fire Emblem game in general, take your pick) is a train level.

[The_antithesis]

Granted. The gaps between every carriage is a one-space-wide chokepoint, forcing turtling.

I wish for a NG+-exclusive "golden ending" in three houses.

Edited August 27, 2019 by The_antithesis

[Emperor_Siegfried]

Granted.  It's revealed that once you achieve this ending, it's just a short gag scene similar to the Silent Hill dog ending that ultimately leaves every plot thread dangling and unresolved.  The end credits music is also replaced with a super annoying chorus of laughter at your pathetic attempts to prove how much of a better player you are by going the extra mile to achieve so much.

I wish Kronya could be S supported in Three Houses and nothing about the story changed at all.

[Hawkwing]

Byleth gets revenge on their fathers murder by doing some R-Rated stuff to her.

I wish that there was futuristic looking legendary weaponry in Three Houses.

[Benice]

On 9/1/2019 at 11:02 AM, Hawkwing said:

Byleth gets revenge on their fathers murder by doing some R-Rated stuff to her.

I wish that there was futuristic looking legendary weaponry in Three Houses.

Granted, but they're all nuclear weapons and the gane ends and becomes fallout:85

 

I wish for Valter and Lyon compete  on a dating show for Eirika in creature campaign.

[DragonFlames]

It ends with Ephraim, Seth, Innes and Forde doing... stuff to Eirika (at the same time, no less) while Valter and Lyon are bound, gagged, and forced to watch in the corner by Gheb.

I wish the next Fire Emblem game featured a playable character who has the ability to kill Green Units.

[Benice]

Granted, but the most interesting and most powerful character in the game gets hit by playable character's car in middle of recruitment conversation.

 

I wish that Nino would ask me out

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, but she comes back later with her children Raigh and Lugh, much to your shock (because when you accepted, the children got coded in).

I wish Ryoma would break through the fourth wall and tell the Fandom how stupid the lobster memes are.

[DragonFlames]

Granted. Neptune would appear out of nowhere and say "Hey, that's my thing!"

I wish the next Fire Emblem game introduced shapeshifters that transform into fish.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

Granted.  The shapeshifters are basically Magikarp units but even less powerful since all they can do is flop on the ground in front of their opponents even when they are in sea battles and when they get to a promotion class, all they can do is flop a little harder and at the best of times get 1 hit point of damage.

I wish the next Fire Emblem game would summon Sadako Yamamura in front of the player whenever they played it.

[The_antithesis]

Granted. However, the summoning does not change Sadako Yamamura's velocity. As such, the rotation of the Earth causes him to fly in into the wall at 1,000+mph, killing both him and the player.

I wish for Nintendo to put all its copyrights older than 14 years into the public domain.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, that means 10 years later a whole bunch of shitty Fates fangames are made.

I wish the First Dragons (such as Anankos) could be cured instead of slain in the main games.

[The_antithesis]

Granted. The game (FE6) isn't localised.

I wish for more old FE games to get Echoes style remasters.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

Granted.  Just like Echoes they retain everything that made them dated in the first place, but also manage to exacerbate these issues by hiring designers who make the battle system super convoluted and tedious while offering less than mediocre return on time investment.

I wish the Grado generals were recruitable units.

[DragonFlames]

They are, but they can't level up and their base stats are garbo (like, Amelia tier garbo) when you get them. Also, every enemy has a 100% crit rate against them due to their base luck being exactly 0 and they have a 0% luck growth.

On 10/26/2019 at 4:10 PM, Emperor_Siegfried said:

Granted.  The shapeshifters are basically Magikarp units but even less powerful since all they can do is flop on the ground in front of their opponents even when they are in sea battles and when they get to a promotion class, all they can do is flop a little harder and at the best of times get 1 hit point of damage.

Glorious. XD

I wish the dogs and/or cats around the monastery in Three Houses were recruitable units.