TheMoniker Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 Let's skip the intro and get straight to... New Fire Mumblem: Episode 3: Episode 3: Part 2: End of Eliwood's Story We start things off with... Yeah. Next turn, one of my dudes hit an attack he had missed the last time, and I could kill this guy! No idea what he means. I changed my mind, Raven is really weak. Cavaliers! ELIWOOD CAN HANDLE THEM! Oh GREAT, a thief! Legault's handling himself okay. Honestly, we'd be in trouble if we had to fight this brave axe guy with anyone else. The ANGER! VAMPIRE ELIWOOD GO! I guess we're supposed to use this on Bartre's door? No Legault! Don't trip! Don't like down on the floor like that! Another cav and an archer, as well as a fighter from the stairs! Most of the unarmed enemies are gone now, too! This SEEMS awesome and helpful, but it's actually not, because there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you're getting Wil to a B before the hack ends. Level! Isadora is still untouched. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop... Is this RNG blessing? Does it even MATTER? And then something happens and makes me reset. One moment: So. You see how the thief opened the chest, but no notification popped up, and he doesn't have anything on PP? That's because Markyjoe did some RATHER SNEAKY coding: He made it so that when a thief opens a chest, he doesn't get anything! So, you can't know what's in the chest, and you can't kill him to get it back! I savestate to see what was in there, and... ...You know what? The thief can keep it. Oh, hey, THERE they are! They're just myrms though, how can- ...We'd best hurry. Something comes from up here! A well-placed torch staff reveals... Oh. Nevermind. These guys still suck. We're coming, Isadora! Legault's still looting. I'm trying to get him to Bartre's door. Yeah... It's kind of luck-based how long she lasts, but I think you can get to her before the myrms, so not THAT luck-based. Short bows work in my favor here, I wouldn't want her dead! WHAT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT NOW YOU'RE EATING WTD Oh, things are happening with this guy! Florina not sucking, and Isadora sucking. At least she had the good sense to snort some powder. One...space...short... See that dark patch? They were ALL hiding in there. Don't worry, Florina can handle them. As you can see. You SUCK, Raven! Don't worry, Legault's here! But, I want to see what happens if I DON'T save him first. 2 turns later... And that's it. Rewinding 2 turns... And then he runs off the screen super fast. The thing is, I don't think he comes back, so in addition to getting the bonus task, we also don't have to deal with fighting him! Dorcas clones: Still unarmed. Time to wrap up! Um... Isadora? Isadora: It makes me wanna moan. ...Isadora? Eliwood: Um… Isadora? Isadora: Uh… ? Eliwood: I’m right here. Isadora: Is that so? ...Yeah, okay. Eliwood: Anyways, what the heck are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be busy sucking at life? Isadora: No, I only do that on Tuesdays. Today, I’m helping you. Eliwood: How? Isadora: I spied on the stage boss with my X-ray vision. He wants you to dead! You should get out of here! Eliwood: Hmm… No. I can’t leave just yet. I will not rest until I get to watch some television! Isadora: Hmm… Very well then, I will join your cause. Even if I’m a bad character, I might be of use SOMEHOW. Eliwood: Hey, who knows? Maybe one day you’ll be full of awesome. I DON'T UNDERSTAND But, she's on our team now! ??? Is...this the guy who's supposed to unlock Bartre's door? Hector guys... Just... Hector... Her palette is GLORIOUS GREEN. Defenses! ...Not that it matters. I think we all saw that one coming. I'm running out of stuff to say, honestly. We're just about clear! No more myrms came after all. Gee... You really broke the bank on that one, markyjoe... Whatever, we're leaving! Hector: Heck yeah! Time to watch some naked Asian chicks! *cue ominous music* Hector: You fiend! How could you block the porn channel!? Bartre: To prevent my Dorcas clones from fapping on the job. Hector: … You mean the ones we killed? Bartre: You bastard… I STILL don't understand. Hector: We can’t stay here. Not under this harsh circumstance. Not to mention, there's blood and guts everywhere, along with conveniently dropped weapons. Hector: Gasp. TWO!? Uh, is this supposed to acknowledge how they navigated with the stars back then? Despite the fact that they clearly have a higher level of technology, and star navigation probably used slightly different terms? ...I STILL still don't understand. Hector: Groovy. Let’s get going! *sigh* Lyn: Ooh, it’s so small. Eliwood: That’s only when it’s flacid, baby. Lyn: Oh, really? Let’s see about that! Not only did he use a naughty word, he spelled it wrong... Time for MONEY! Yay! NEXT TIME: The final episode of New Fire Mumblem, wherein we replace the sex jokes with self-inserting! I've recorded all the episodes of New Fire Mumblem, so I'll probably make a big push and get the rest of it released tomorrow. Of course, now I have to begin the Ragefest hack...*shiver* Also, Markyjoe's been mysteriously absent... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Robert Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I DON'T UNDERSTAND... I STILL don't understand. ... Uh, is this supposed to acknowledge how they navigated with the stars back then? Despite the fact that they clearly have a higher level of technology, and star navigation probably used slightly different terms? ...I STILL still don't understand. Gorsh, you've had a sheltered childhood, haven't you? ;) I'm not going to explain MarkyJoe's *peculiar(ordinary)* humor because the man himself can do that!!! But seriously, you didn't recognize the quote from Peter Pan? Like seriously? That's one of the most celebrated fascist brainwashing films of the Disney canon (just don't get me started with Disney... *twitches*)... ...Maybe there's hope for you yet if you haven't been brainwashed by the Disney!!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyVoxel Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) Gorsh, you've had a sheltered childhood, haven't you? ;) I'm not going to explain MarkyJoe's *peculiar(ordinary)* humor because the man himself can do that!!! But seriously, you didn't recognize the quote from Peter Pan? Like seriously? That's one of the most celebrated fascist brainwashing films of the Disney canon (just don't get me started with Disney... *twitches*)... ...Maybe there's hope for you yet if you haven't been brainwashed by the Disney!!! :D but didney didnt make up the line About he Unggggggh thingy maboober, it's best not to explain in detail. Edited March 20, 2015 by Forceman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMoniker Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 Dangit guys, I was joking, I understood EXACTLY why Isadora was...moaning... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klokinator Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 *sigh* Lyn: Ooh, it’s so small. Eliwood: That’s only when it’s flacid, baby. Lyn: Oh, really? Let’s see about that! and here we have the fandom's most ardent critic and his greatest works compilation oh man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Robert Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 but didney didnt make up the line Quite right but without the fascist Disney with their glossy brainwashing and regurgitating of popular culture of varying eras (all historically inaccurate), we probably wouldn't know what it was. Honestly, I'm tickled to death Moniker didn't know what it was; it means Disney's deathgrip on the American brain is loosening. Okay okay, I'll shut up now. I can get so off topic. ^_^; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyVoxel Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Dangit guys, I was joking, I understood EXACTLY why Isadora was...moaning... I could tell C= and here we have the fandom's most ardent critic and his greatest works compilation oh man May as well have called it Fire Mumblem: Final Mix Quite right but without the fascist Disney with their glossy brainwashing and regurgitating of popular culture of varying eras (all historically inaccurate), we probably wouldn't know what it was. Honestly, I'm tickled to death Moniker didn't know what it was; it means Disney's deathgrip on the American brain is loosening. Okay okay, I'll shut up now. I can get so off topic. ^_^; We're letting it go ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMoniker Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 Well pardon me, it's been like 15 years since I last saw Peter Pan Let's skip the intro and get straight to... New Fire Mumblem: Episode 4: Episode 3x: Part 1: Another Story That Isn't Better than the Other One Here we go! As you can see, we have four new people just popping right in. Guess who they are? Yup. Markyjoe: Good thing too. Lately someone’s been modifying our changes. GidePark, do you see anything suspicious? Markyjoe: And what about you, Zepkref? Who the heck are these guys? Their portraits look okay, but I'm not familiar with the names... The last one, I do recognize. I wasn't wrong when I said we wouldn't be seeing Evil Lyn again, because this, uh...doesn't count. Yeah. (Also, CONFLICTING PORTRAIT STYLES) Markyjoe: What’s wrong? Evil Lyn: I… can sense something. No…! Someone! Someone with overwhelming power! Evil Lyn: Ah! H-he’s getting closer! And thus teleports in... ATHOS! Athos: My super radar has been picking up on various changes in the game data. which one of you is responsible? Answer me! Markyjoe: Still writing a bad Markyjoe. Athos: So you are the one tarnishing the game! Markyjoe: T…tarnish!? Athos: I have had it with people modifying Fire Emblem 7! All we ever get are terrible ROM hacks as a result! I'm kinda rooting for Athos here... Markyjoe: So you were the one reverting the changes we’ve been making… Athos: Leave. Now. I will use force if you do not comply. I've tried to imagine Real!Markyjoe saying "sir". I failed. Markyjoe: You don’t have to be a part of this mod if you d- Athos: No excuses! I will not let you get in the way while I undo your modifications! Markyjoe: Are you out of your mind!? It’s Archsage Athos! He’s, like, Power Force McKenzie! Evil Lyn: I could care less. He is trying to get you to abandon your dream! Are you seriously going to comply to his selfish desires? The portrait gets EVEN BETTER when he closes his eyes. Zekpref: I saw we show ‘em a good ol’ fashioned ass-kickin’. Whadya say? Markyjoe: Heh… I tried to imagine Markyjoe saying "heh" in a non-ironic manner. I failed again. GidePark: If we leave the hack, everything we’ve done would be for nothing. We have to end this. Here and now. That last one is the only line even KIND OF in-character. Athos: We’ll see how much you like Fire Emblem hacking after you face my Ultra Legion. END DIALOGUE He teleports onto the top of the map, dudes go everywhere, and it's OUR TURN! Look for what's NOT in my screenshot. Specifically, the cursor. Yeah, the whole "main lord isn't there for the cursor to start on" thing is here. Honestly, I'd be more surprised if he'd actually found a way to FIX the bug. The map is pretty tiny, but even though it might appear threatening, there aren't that many enemies around, like, at all. We'll chop through these forces easily, but this chapter has a few tricks up it's sleeve... Markyjoe, our "favorite" FE hacker! With semi-okay stats, a nosferatu tome that makes him invincible, a support that leaves him open to being the butt of a large variety of inappropriate jokes(not sure if it actually works), and TOAST!, we're gonna let him help out. Gidepark is an effective swordsmaster, who again has an invincibility weapon (the runesword) and plenty of crit as long as he stays with Markyjoe. Evil Lyn starts out being WAY, WAY, WAY better than Markyjoe, but...this chapter doesn't really give enough time for that to change. One tome is weak, but she can double with it, and the other has power but she will never double EVER. And Bolting. Zepkref is probably one of the worst ones around. A crippling magic weakness, and no notable stats except strength(which Evil Lyn beats him in), and...conformity to this weird Markyjoe support thing! He'll still be allowed to assist, of course. Our enemies are the SUMDEWD SAYONARA! ...I wasn't unable to think of an S-word meaning army, nope. Athos himself... He's not that amazing. Just okay, really. If we can get to him, we can kill him. GETTING TO HIM SURE IS HARD Markyjoe moves unnecessarily close for "support bonuses"... Gee Athos, I guess walking 3 steps just EXCEEDS YOUR EXPECTATIONS. She does 21 damage, but he heals 13 HP per turn. After doing MATHS, I found out that you CAN'T kill him with this method, UNLESS you RNG abuse for that 9% crit. If you got that, the chapter would be over VERY QUICKLY. Palettes and combat! These guys don't stand much of a chance. Oh, really? This guy is annoying. See, uh, the solution is to not let yourself take too many hits... Oh great, Evil Lyn can't use the Physic. Markyjoe has to eat like a third of a piece of toast, which somehow causes his leg to reattach itself. Cutting it here, too many images for one big update. We'll finish next time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMoniker Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 Let's skip the-blah, I'm getting tired of typing that. New Fire Mumblem: Episode 4: Episode 3x: Part 2: Enemy phase reinforcements that AREN'T BS!?! Where we left off last time, the enemies stood with roughly this chance of beating us. Your only usefulness comes from crits, Zepkref! GET MORE! Oh great, Falcoknights with magic swords! They might be threatening! ...I stand corrected. ... WELL. THIS SEEMS BALANCED. Die, loser! *losers Well, the map is clear except for Athos, but now he's talking! Athos: Some of my men are waiting in the huts scattered across the map. When I give the word, they will assault in a surprise ambush. Typo! ...Bad writing! Oh, so we're doing this now. Okay. GidePark: I think so. Markyjoe: Good. Be sure to use it every turn. GidePark: Got it. So, here's how this works. Gidepark says this occasionally, then points out two huts. Enemies will come from the huts on the following enemy phase. This is actually a pretty good mechanic, and I kinda wish Awakening had done the same. Oh, and if you thought it was gonna slack on the player phase reinforcements... I guess we'll just sit here for a bit. Sure enough, generals! More! Now we'll be attacked from two fronts. The generals drop easy, annnnd... WE HAVE SNIPERS! Not that they're any good! Also, Markyjoe's growths are by far the best of the bunch, Evil Lyn doesn't match up in the long run. GOOD THING THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER, HUH? As long as Markyjoe is carrying the Nosferatu, nothing can kill him fast enough. More enemies! Things are getting kinda intense! Gidepark gets a level, and it's pretty good! But you-know-who's level, is, of course, better. Grr...so annoying... Dead and dead. I think this might be the last wave. Really, while the game does sometimes get the pressure on at points here, it fails to keep it up. And sure enough, sages! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DODGY! As I said. Worst of the bunch. I call Mary Sue. Gidepark fights off the swordsmasters in a battle that is both luck-based and more than possibly avoidable. I am so good at this game. Okay, THIS it the last wave. So...so...I don't know... Heroes pop up! 10 seconds later... He isn't gonna use those forts around him, so... Markyjoe uses his totally legit levels to stomp Athos. Now, he's all lined up for the kill, and, after they've come so far, the one who deserves it is clearly EVIL LYN Yup. He won't. Markyjoe: The ArchSage can catch us at any given time. Zepkref: If we do that, then we can find it, then destroy it! Markyjoe: Hmm… But how will we find this Radar? In case you can't tell, I've run out of comments. Markyjoe: You do? Ah, I see where- NEVERMIND! We get money three times total. Were these...bonus task events? NEXT TIME: The obligatory "glitchy-half-complete-chapter" at the end of many hacks! Almost done, the last update (for this hack) will be soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMoniker Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 Let's skip the intro and get straight to... New Fire Mumblem END: So, this chapter... The eventing is complete, but the dialogue... Yeah. No idea what's going on. If you haven't figured it out yet, these are the dialogue events from the tutorials in Chapter 2 of normal Lyn mode. Oh hey, it's...Kent? (Nope, the nomad is Bauker) The...palette... \ I don't understand, and I don't think you do either. This guy spawns a destroyed village after the semi-legible village conversation is over. Okay, guess we're starting. Let's see if I can make a map... This is the best you're getting, sorry. Also, the throne of Bauker's castle CAN be seized, but that just plunges things into FURTHER insanity. It's moderately entertaining, but not worth delaying Corruption of Roy. (I didn't miss that much though) The enemies are bandits, and for some reason Markyjoe added in a short axe. Oh, and this. No idea why it's even there. And this crazy OP thing. Bauker kinda sucks. That's all there is to say. The miniboss is a different KIND of bandit, and he's pretty tough. Tougher than Bauker, even. Anyways, that's it for Fire Mumblem Revised! FINAL THOUGHTS: New Fire Mumblem is easily the best out of the hacks we've played yet. The levels aren't super-boring and tedious, even if they aren't that challenging or innovative either (except for Episode 2, that was pretty cool). The story still made no sense, and was full of writing ranging from bad to inappropriate. Either way, I did kind of, sort of, enjoy this hack. Just a little. If it had been finished, it probably would have turned out as a fairly mediocre hack. NEXT TIME: We take a break from playing those Fire Mumblems to suffer through the rage that is THE CORRUPTION OF ROY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HF Makalov Fanboy Kai Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 i been lookin forward to this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Robert Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) We're letting it go ;) At the price of using my quote in your signature? You've got yourself a deal!! :D Well pardon me, it's been like 15 years since I last saw Peter Pan I'm not sure if I should congratulate you for escaping Disney brainwashing or chide you for being so uncultured! Meh, I'll do neither. :P Our enemies are the SUMDEWD SAYONARA! ...I wasn't unable to think of an S-word meaning army, nope. Squad perhaps?? (These guys are a bit big for a squad, though, admittedly) Markyjoe has to eat like a third of a piece of toast, which somehow causes his leg to reattach itself. I call Mary Sue. You call Mary-Sue NOW!!!??? FINAL THOUGHTS: New Fire Mumblem is easily the best out of the hacks we've played yet. The levels aren't super-boring and tedious, even if they aren't that challenging or innovative either (except for Episode 2, that was pretty cool). The story still made no sense, and was full of writing ranging from bad to inappropriate. Either way, I did kind of, sort of, enjoy this hack. Just a little. If it had been finished, it probably would have turned out as a fairly mediocre hack. The last level reminded me of Corrupt Theocracy in the best possible way: A OP'd romp in which you kill stuffs. Great way to blow off steam, that (in my dreams, Ima SAGE HERO with an *awesome* tome and-- *ahem* refer to my sig... Gosh, now all the kids are gonna laugh at me. T_T ). Anyways, we see a progression from cancer-inducing horror to simply a crap hack. Er... Where is the MarkyJoe? He's got to tally in here! Edited March 21, 2015 by Doctor Robert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyVoxel Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 At the price of using my quote in your signature? You've got yourself a deal!! :D gdi u ddnt git joek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Robert Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 gdi u ddnt git joek After my DisneyHateRant™ you assume I'd even seen that movie; that which came out long after I escaped Disney's Prison Moon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMoniker Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Squad perhaps?? (These guys are a bit big for a squad, though, admittedly) Dangit I could've totally used that Yeah, that wouldn't have been a good name. You call Mary-Sue NOW!!!??? Probably a bit slow on the draw. Anyways, we see a progression from cancer-inducing horror to simply a crap hack. Er... Where is the MarkyJoe? He's got to tally in here! No idea where he ran off to. I guess we'll just have to soldier on! Well everyone, it's time for... The CORRUPTION OF ROY! Another hack made by Markyjoe, it was a submission for his own contest, ragefest! Luckily, instead of opting to judge his own submission, he left the task to...I think it was MageKnight404...instead. Anyways, I'm not going to go look at his old videos of it, because apparently its BETTER blind! Or semi-blind, I have my (very) hazy, at-least-1-year-old memories of the first half to work off of! So we're good, right? Anyways... The Corruption of Roy: Part 1: It began with Plot Here we go... The intro, I wonder if it's- ...changed. N: So what does he do? He tries to start a full-scale war so he can steal the life force of war casualties using forbidden magic tomes. Needless to say, he was a dick. THAT LYN MUG N: But peace does not last for long. N: But Eliwood saw that shit coming, and made prior preparations. N: become a living, breathing, war machine. ensuring that if by some contrivance a war starts and Eliwood’s too sick to get off his ass and maintain peace, his emotionally stunted son can do his job with flying colors. I...don't think it worked... N: However, even a man like Roy can get laid. Of course. N: When the war against Bern concluded, they married, and together they brought prosperity to Pherae and its neighboring territories. If you couldn't tell, this hack tries to be story-based and has lots of plot that's somewhat intricate, but the gameplay's insistent trolliness, not to mention the really out-of-place jokes, really conflict with that. Never try to be two things at once, people! Just putting it our there, this is likely going to be the longest standalone episode in Moniker history. And so we begin, locked in a cell, with Thracia fog. GOOD QUESTION. Sophia: Was there an attack on Pherae? Oh no, an enemy thief! Hope you somehow still have a weapon! (Nope, this is the ONE ROMhack where the prison guards actually remembered to remove them) Oh, never mind, it's Cath! Sophia: … Cath: Are you gonna answer, or are you gonna keep staring at me like that? Sophia: … Y-yes. I am Sophia. Cath: Alright, good. Looks like I chose the correct cell. (She really should have gone for Wendy's first) Sophia: I remember you… Cath, right? Cath: You haven’t forgotten me? That’s surprising. I wish I could say more, but we need to work quickly. Sophia: What’s going on? Why am I in a prison cell? Cath: … You don’t know? I guess I should explain. Do you- Cath: Wha… We get a brief preview of the enemies for whatever reason(better memorize it!) but a merc's right at our door! Cath: Damnit… Reddier: Don’t move. Guys! Come over here! Could this guard NOT BE EVIL? (Nope, he's still totally going to attack us) Cath: (Quick Cath! Do something while he’s flustered!) END DIALOGUE Cath moves back and...it's time to start? Okay then! Thracia fog fail! Hah! Not that this info is particularly helpful... Cath is a thief, and she'll be necessary to open doors, but she'll have to leave the combat to other characters. Sophia is super powerful(even though she apparently gained no XP in the war), and not much else. No weapons right now, we'll have to get some. Lilina is in the other cell, and she starts out useless, but once she gains some speed and magic she'll be fantastic. Of course, she has nothing on her but the evening meal, and also was not trained in FE6. All the guards are very tough. Not to mention, it's VERY IMPORTANT that you steal that chest key. Yoink! More enemies revealed... That fire is for Lilina, but the steel lance... Combat with the mercenary goes- OH CRAP MAGES NO SHIT The chapter can continue without her, but I SOMEHOW have my doubts as to the winnability. Oh hey! A talk! Cath: Wha! Sophia: Sorry… Cath: Eh. It’s fine. So what do you want? Sophia: It’s… nothing important. I’m just curious. When I was in Nabata, I was a priestess. But then I became a noble when I married Roy. So… I’ve never known what it’s like to be, well… like you. Cath: You’re a lucky one. It sucks having to steal to get your daily bread. Though, I only steal from people who already have more than enough wealth. Still, it’s not like I enjoy doing it. But...but... You fought in the war against Bern! You could have gotten a lucrative position as royal spy or...something! WHY ARE YOU STILL A NORMAL THIEF? Sophia: I see… Please, may I hear more? Cath: Ever been homeless? Sophia: No… Cath: I used to, but I built a small tree house in Thria. It’s a pretty nice place. Nothing like your fancy houses though. Sophia: … You don’t suppose… I could visit sometime, do you? Cath: That would be way too risky. Merchants and nobles alike want to see me arrested for stealing their goods. Letting you anywhere near my home would be like putting a giant arrow next to it reading Sophia: Mhmm. Cath: Good. Now it’s my turn to ask questions. Sophia: …? Cath: How on earth do you manage that hair? No wonder her speed is so low! Sophia: It’s not that heavy… I have a spell that makes it light and easy to manage. Cath: Ahh… Still, why would you want it that long in the first place? Sophia: …It’s cozy, and blocks the heat. Cath: Couldn’t you just get a robe then? Cath: To each her own, I suppose. Okay, ANYWAYS! The plan is to let the merc in the cell! Yoink2! CRAP Okay, so, there's literally no way to protect Sophia, so...I'll have to reset. I might have just lost to one generic mercenary, but I'm good at this game! I swear! Now he can't get out of the cell, AND the mages can't reach her! HAH! *One epic and VERY LONG battle later* HAH! I did it! It only took me roughly 66 images, but I KILLED THE FIRST ENEMY! YEEESSSS!!! Oh yeah, and during the fight, this guy comes. He's kind of, sort of, a wake-up call. Cath has AWFUL growths, and that's why she has to let others do the fighting. Oh, a dialogue event! Sophia: …Indeed … Cath: … Anyways, you wanted to know what was going on, correct? Sophia: … Yes. Sophia: What!? Cath: What do you mean “What!?” You mean you don’t know this? Looks like the chump has kept you down here longer than I thought. It was implied in the intro that she had just woken up...so...she was somehow KO'd for EIGHT DAYS, suffered NO permanent brain damage or coma-slipping, and can STILL FIGHT with no visible effects from malnutrition? What? Sophia: That’s not possible! Roy would never do such a thing! Cath: Simmer down! I’m not lying. He really did this. He went over to Ostia with his troops and captured the Duchess. Anyone who stood in his way was either killed or brought here. Sophia: …… Cath: Still don’t believe me? Eh, you will eventually. In any case, I need you to help me free the prisoners. Surely whoever put you in this dusty cell is a bad guy, right? Sophia, sometimes things ARE blunt! Okay, let's hope we can find a weapon for her in the chest room! We'll start with this chest-wait, my hazy memories are saying something...I think it's "DON'T OPEN THE CHEST YOU LOSER"... I'm not a loser! I'm gonna totally open this chest! I REMEMBER NOW, WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN (Side-note, all the chests have fire traps) Nergal: Now I am free to inflict my wrath once more! I’ll start with… YOU! The purple haired woman! This combat is blatantly rigged, he will ALWAYS hit and kill you. Yes game, my reaction EXACTLY. ... Okay, I think this is an appropriate note to end the first update on! This first run totally isn't doomed. Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomSwordmaster Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I wonder....will moniker let the "other" method of causing the game over slip by? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMoniker Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Let's skip the intro and get straight to... The Corruption of Roy: Part 2: Enter the Rage Where we left off last time... Anyways, this time I open THIS chest. Great, we kind of REALLY NEED this! Remember the fighter from the stairs earlier? We have to fight him next. I heal just in case, but Cath dodges. GIVE THE TOAST Alright, I think Sophia will be able to handle the mages! \ I was right! Also, her growths are WAY better than Cath's. Lilina confirmed. We need as many of these as we can get! Cath breaks into Lilina's cell, while Sophia gains a level. For her, the more speed, the better. Get on the team, lady! Lilina: Hm? Sophia: Yes… it’s me. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Lilina: Uhuh… Sophia: Lilina, can you tell me why you are in this prison? Lilina: …Roy… He attacked… and he… sniff… Sophia: …I see… Cath speaks the truth. I’m so sorry… Lilina: Sniff… Why!? What made Roy want to do this!? Sophia: Please, calm down. I… I am on the verge of crying myself… But if either of us loses control of ourselves, things will get worse… Lilina: You’re right. I’m sorry… Sophia: … Lilina: What is it like… to be with Roy? Sophia: …He is a very troubled person. He tries hard to ensure that his people are happy. But… he doesn’t do enough for himself. I’ve told him many times that he overworks himself, but he doesn’t listen. As flawed as he is though, I love him dearly. Lilina: …I see… thank you for telling me. I’ll help you in any way I can. Cath can also talk to Lilina, let's see that convo. I love the contrast here. Lilina: Hm? Cath: …Figures. No one remembers Cath, the master thief. Lilina: What did you say? Cath: Nevermind. Look, since I saved your butt, you owe me some favors. Lilina: …What do you want? Cath: Firstly, I want you to help me free the prisoners here. Lilina: I would have helped you anyway. Most of them are my own people. Cath: That’s the spirit! Now then. Favor number two. Y’see that woman over there with the long, dragging hair? Lilina: Roy’s… wife? Cath: Yeah, her. I need you to tell her about what’s recently happened. I tried to tell her myself, but she didn’t believe me. ...understandly? Cath: Well take it easy then. Let her know when you’re ready. Lilina: …Alright. And then Lilina and Sophia can talk. This only happens if Cath is the one to recruit Lilina: Sophia: It’s been a long time… Lilina: Yeah… it has… Sophia: … Lilina: Sophia… what Cath told you… She’s telling the truth… Sophia: I see. I was wrong to doubt her. Sophia: …Please… calm down. And after that it's the same as the recruitment conversation, pretty much. Anyways, we arm our new party member. See this thief? He seems harmless, but if you leave him unattended, he'll unlock that game over chest. And Nergal will appear and kill you again. And the text box will have slightly different dialogue, which of course still calls you an idiot. As you can probably guess, we're not letting him live. Oh, hey! There are civilians locked up in the cells too. I might have mentioned this already, but if you're wondering why all the allies are red FE11-style, it's so you can't see them in the fog. The next chest contains this thing-we-will-probably-need. And reveals... A character NOT from normal FE6! He's recruitable, but there are some...problems...with getting him... She missed her first shot. Of course. *MANY SHOTS LATER* *ME REALIZING I MADE A MISTAKE AS IT'S TOO LATE TO FIX IT* This time, Sophia rushes forth and takes the brave lance loser out. Man, there are a lot of enemies there! But OF COURSE she's 1 HP short of what she needed to live. This time, we circle around a bit, to approach from the bottom. Yoink! Good! Terrible! Good! I was slooooowly luring out the enemies... But NOT SLOWLY ENOUGH. Heals! Oh, what? Something's happening up here... Ooohhh... Hey, I didn't do that! YES GAME. YES YOU SHOULD HAVE. Screw you! So, remember that chest in the center from the start-map? Yeah. Just in case you all forgot that this was Ragefest. NEXT TIME: Moniker beats down a treasure chest, but NOT FAST ENOUGH to avoid the NEXT event! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomSwordmaster Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 DAT MUG...JUST...CAN'T...STOP....LAUGHING... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Robert Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Of course. Welp, there goes my Head-Canon!!! XD It was implied in the intro that she had just woken up...so...she was somehow KO'd for EIGHT DAYS, suffered NO permanent brain damage or coma-slipping, and can STILL FIGHT with no visible effects from malnutrition? What? As Sophia is Half-Dragon, it's kind of an excuse for all sorts of *super-human-things!!* But it is implied that Tiki did sleep for most of her life in FE1 and aside from being susceptible to evil sorcerers, she was fine... (And then in Awakening, she slept for 2000 years and found herself *all grow'd up!!*) I guess 8 days isn't too much for a Half-Dragon... I love that it's implied here that Eliwood took Nerg's body back to Pherae and dumped him in the basement in a chest... Then I guess he came to life again because of magicks!! I love the contrast here. Cath's my favorite character in FE6! ^_^ I'm surprised at how well everyone's written here... except Sophia doesn't have nearly as much ellipses as she ought to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyVoxel Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 After my DisneyHateRant™ you assume I'd even seen that movie; that which came out long after I escaped Disney's Prison Moon? but like ddnt u heer let it go on da radio nd stuf Well everyone, it's time for... The CORRUPTION OF ROY! Another hack made by Markyjoe, it was a submission for his own contest, ragefest! Luckily, instead of opting to judge his own submission, he left the task to...I think it was MageKnight404...instead. Anyways, I'm not going to go look at his old videos of it, because apparently its BETTER blind! Or semi-blind, I have my (very) hazy, at-least-1-year-old memories of the first half to work off of! So we're good, right? Anyways... I played this a while ago. I managed to make it to part 2, but once I saw what you were up against... well... let's just say my attempt ended horribly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Robert Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 but like ddnt u heer let it go on da radio nd stuf I never listen to the radio... there's just nothing on worth listening to anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyVoxel Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I never listen to the radio... there's just nothing on worth listening to anymore. du u has frends tht lstn to rario nd spotify but what if frend ddnt have Maybe I should drop being illiterate in strikethrough posts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HF Makalov Fanboy Kai Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 oh this is golden so far, i actually forgot about the game over chest until it happened... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyVoxel Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 oh this is golden so far, i actually forgot about the game over chest until it happened... That was my favorite part of the hack, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klokinator Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Narrator: However, even a man like Roy can get laid. I always thought Corruption of Roy was supposed to be the new, mature level of Markyjoe hacking. I guess some things just never change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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