Dragoncat

Because she's having an existential crisis and thinks she's a goat. Maybe he's still not old enough for scruff? Some men get it early, others later. I think. If Edelgard thinks she's a goat, would Mozu think she smells like one?

And I'm up at 1 am and I classed all the kiddos.

I might critique tomorrow morning, right now I'll just say I named Byleth's mom Vivian.

Probably.

When I was like 3 my cousin chewed with his mouth open behind my dad until my dad noticed and swiped at him. And idk why you reminded me of it.

I named him Madoc (fortunate) but that's a good name too!

Absolutely not. The Fanfic Police would lock me up with all the others who do that shit. Does Thales steal shampoo?

Lick my armpit hair. Good luck actually getting my tongue there! WYR have a really big nose or really big ears?

Poor boy. Don't think Sylvain would name a kid after his douche brother, but I do feel for Miklan. What a mood boy.

Step 1: Finalize designs of the 2nd gen Garreg Mach house leaders you were working on Step 2: Part of it is that Kion and Astor are called "stinky boys" by Giselle Step 3: Smell something funky in the bathroom Step 4: Discover your cat has been peeing on the floor in some litter he kicked out Step 5: Have your very own stinky boy #ThatJustHappened

Yeah I'm playing Lions route now. I'd love to see Felix's in particular. Good luck with Sylvain and his brood that he has in a lot of his endings.

Yeah, true. I forgot him and Caspar are "bros"

These are solid! I heard if Hubert marries Petra he fathers quite the brood lol. Astor is enough of a handful for him, trust me. He's not overly sweet with Edelgard but damn does he melt at his son when he's a baby/toddler. "I made this, this is mine." Omg Caspar get off her! xD I'm wondering how the class variation happens. Especially the mages. Dorothea and Ferdi lol. I'm getting "I won't say I'm in love" from the Disney Hercules movie vibes.

I see. Thanks. I will edit that.

I thought it was smaller? It's comparable to Puerto Rico being part of the USA. If it's bigger, then close relations. Really I put that in there because Claude goes to Almyra in most of his endings, so I had to explain why his kid would be leading the Golden Deer house.

That's an interesting idea. I think she'd do that if somehow she couldn't have a biological one. Astor is too good of an idea to scrap now. #BlackEaglet

Yeah, the game does very well without a 2nd gen, but just a fun thing. You can do one set parent like Awakening and Fates do, or make both parents a part of the design/idea. I'm doing the latter. AU your heart out if you want, like mine is a supposed path where all three lords survive to the end. My first route was Golden Deer, so it has the most. Leicester Alliance Claude x Hilda: Giselle and Collin Reigan Fraternal girl boy twins. Giselle is older by a few minutes and leads the Golden Deer house. She's got messy dark brown hair and pink eyes. She's got a spunky personality like her father but is surprisingly well behaved at Garreg Mach. She openly calls the other two house leaders "stinky boys" and is tired of their petty little fights over stupid stuff. Both parents ride wyverns, but despite this, Giselle is not keen on flying, so her final class is bow knight. Her horse is a reddish brown male named Rusty. Crest of Reigan. Collin is a bit of a scamp, acts as his sister's right hand man and they have done pranks together. Messy dark brown hair and green eyes. Close to his uncle Holst and sees Nader as a role model as well. He's okay with flying. Final class is wyvern lord. His wyvern is a green female named Pinecone (for some reason she chews on pinecones). Crest of Goneril. Ignatz x Bernadetta(yes I know they can't support): Virgil Victor Small and slim, purple hair and gray eyes, got his father's bad eyesight so needs glasses. Short, tufted hairstyle. He's kind of a little spark plug but Rhonda intimidates him into giving her his food. Not that she means to, but "Hey you gonna eat that" works too well. And she hears about it from both parents, that "he needs the food more than you". He's a light eater anyway, but he does really need the food more than her. Final class is sniper. Crest of Indech carrier. Bernadetta denounced her nobility. Virgil has been told he probably has noble cousins in the Empire by now but nobody tries to make contact. Raphael x Leonie: Rhonda Kirsten Average height, but bulkier than the average female. Orangey red curly hair and yellow eyes. Her eyes are also kind of derpy cow like. Eats like her father, has a secret candy bar stash in her room that she maintains for a few months until Leonie finds it and throws a fit. "You're gonna get fat and not do well as a knight! Wait until your father gets home!" Said father gets home and doesn't understand why he should be angry about snacks. Final class is war master (yes, a female in a class that's male locked ingame) Lorenz x Marianne: Landon and Diantha Gloucester Older brother and younger sister, roughly 12 years apart. Landon has indigo hair and gray eyes. Hair is well combed but not bowlcut. Tall and lanky. He's a hard worker, although scatterbrained on occasion, like when he visited home on his second week at Garreg Mach, his mother made him a lunch to take back with him, and he left it at home. Which resulted in a very "Son, I am disappoint" Lorenz hauling ass from Gloucester to give his boy "the lovely lunch" that was cooked for him because the Almyran cuisine served that day was unacceptable. Landon's final class is dark knight. His horse is a brown male with a white blaze on his face named Crescent. Crest of Gloucester. Crest of The Beast carrier. Diantha has lighter indigo hair, almost more blue than purple. Purple eyes. Hair is in a ponytail. She's too young to attend academy with her brother, and she has a temper. She will scream bloody murder until she gets her way. Neither parent knows where this came from. Lorenz jokes that his daughter needs an exorcism, which is a big thing because Lorenz does not do jokes. She's still quite little, so she should grow out of it...her parents hope. She'll probably be a holy knight eventually. Crest of Gloucester carrier. Kingdom of Faerghus Dimitri x Ingrid: Kion Blaiddyd He's kind of lanky, but shorter than Landon, and with more bulk. Yellow hair and green eyes, also has some faint freckles. Not enough to make it look like he's Ashe's instead but the freckles are there. He's easy to get fired up/annoyed/angry, which the Black Eagles leader does frequently for fun. He also seems to have inherited his father's love for cheese. Secretly a mama's boy. Ingrid sends him cinnamon rolls with extra cream cheese a lot. Final class is fortress knight. Crest of Blaiddyd. Crest of Daphnel carrier. Ashe x Annette: Lucille Ubert Like both parents, she's smaller than average. Orange hair, light green eyes, and freckles. A bookworm and self proclaimed food critic, her favorites are cherry pastries and her father's stir fries. She calls Gilbert "Grandpa Gil", and her mother has just started to refer to him by his new name as well, along with "Dad". He's distant but his granddaughter loves him. Lucille's final class is falcon knight. Her pegasus is a tan female named Caramel. Although her mother has the Crest of Dominic, Lucille did not get any crest genes and isn't even a carrier. Adrestria Empire Hubert x Edelgard: Astor Hresvelg Almost resembles a mini Hubert with black hair and yellow eyes, but he has his mother's softer face shape and isn't overly tall or bulky. And his hairstyle is different, he has it in a spiked updo. He's making the staff at Garreg Mach wonder if it was really a good idea to try the "heirs lead the houses" thing again, he's quite the troublemaker and his favorite thing to do is piss Kion off and start fist fights. Final class is mortal savant. Crest of Seiros. Linhardt x Lysithea: Lillian Hevring Dusty/sage green hair, pink eyes. Kind of tall. Somewhat flat chested but still looks female. Hair is shoulder length. Used to nap with her dad, resting on his chest, as a baby. She grew out of that stage and he misses it but isn't going to act like it bothers him. She's still a daddy's girl in other ways. Has her mother's magic talent, but she's having trouble finding the motivation to practice with it. Final class is gremory. Crest of Cethleann. Lysithea moved to Adrestria and cut ties with house Ordelia. Caspar x Petra: Cyprin Macneary Reddish purple hair, ice blue eyes, light tan skin with traditional Brigid tattoos. Kind of a scrawny boy but also taller than Astor, who he has become friends with. He's less of a drama instigator than his buddy but also a daredevil, so they play off each other and get into trouble that often results in trips to the infirmary. Fluent in both Brigidese and Fodlander, has cussed people out in Brigidese before and found amusement in the fact that they couldn't understand him. No crest. Final class is assassin. Crest genetics for my reference mainly

That thing my brother had to attend today made me wonder if Garreg Mach has any DARE or anti drug/booze stuff. Probably not? Everybody's like, at least junior age with the occasional sophomore And Manuela drinks like a fish. So does Jeralt Also Rhea gives out "herbs" which people are making weed jokes about. There may be sex ed in some form lol Wonder if Hanneman would ask for a volunteer to provide a semen sample to figure out which percentage of that is crest genes. Lorenz is super conflicted right now lol. Sylvain, people think he's gonna be that guy, but he's like nope.

Claude x Hilda (they have sparks big time) Edelgard x Hubert (because the Empress of Eagles could totally fuck her servant if she wants, who cares what the advisors say) Dimitri x Ingrid (Ingrid goes well with Sylvain too, or Felix, but see the next one) Sylvain x Dorothea (stick the hoe and the player together, if they can make it work then romance is not dead) Ignatz x Bernadetta (antisocial nerds, slow burn but sweet) Lorenz x Marianne (he was so sweet to her in their A support) Raphael x Leonie (wild warrior love) Linhardt x Lysithea (not much here other than how their ending is great and one of the sweetest ones for her)

This shitpost was three days in the making. More context on the youtube description.

Your relatives aren't very nice if they make you eat Chinese food when they know it makes you sick.

@XRay The Demon Cat is now on my list of favs.

Ugh. I hate it when my family insists on going to Mexican places because then I have to have a mediocre burger. Burgers at Mexican places suck. Hope you are feeling better.

Should I ask why it took you more than just a few minutes to poop

If you try to pet a wild animal you are ballsy. C is for cucco.