El Rey León

dunno if you'll ever show up again or if something happened to you but in case you see this somehow i wanna say i'm sorry and also things have mega changed. first off i know i was terrible to you sometimes and i still regret it. i regret it with everything i know i think i have. i was going through awful shit but i should never have taken it out on you. i worry that perhaps i pushed you away. i would have pushed me away too. i would have despised me. and you know. i think a lot about how if you would have approved of me being a trans boy. not that it makes a difference what i would have said or done and what i would say or do now, which is always that i will always be myself and will continue to be myself, but i can't help but keep thinking about it. losing contact with you was the worst feeling and it also taught me a lot. dunno where you are or if you're happy whether you really did die or are just gone for whatever reason but i hope it's good for you. it's surreal being here and reading this but that's fine too. i had assumed you died because of the circumstances surrounding your disappearance but you could have just grown too and that's fine. i just hope you're happy. that's all i really want.