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Taka-kun

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Posts posted by Taka-kun

  1. I too do believe the current Avatar system needs to go. I happen to like how BioWare does it well enough, but it's because they have better structure and resources, whereas FE tried (and failed) with implementing personal choices to the player and instead leaves just an empty shell of a character, too afraid to step on players' toes. It's better with a clearcut character, but different from the regular lords of the past. I find them uninteresting as well.

  2. So, I have seen lots of complaints with FE protagonists, especially with the introduction Avatars that can feel bland. With Kamui in FE14, I am inclined to agree, since there are so many problems with Kamui but I am gonna settle with him just being generic shonen, getting adoring love without lifting a finger.

    So, yeah, what do you want in a protagonist for a potential FE? Personally, I really liked the idea of Robin, an amnesiac tactician being absolutely brilliant on the battlefield, unconfident outside it. More than anything, Robin is a strategist in a game revolving around battle strategy yet never properly developed one, focusing instead on chosen sword wielder to slay the evil dragon. I have a particular fondness for strategists, mainly because they are self-made men (and women), relying on their own skills and wits than a prophesized power lying dormant in them. Even if Robin was bred to be a vessel, his/her tactical prowess had nothing to do with it, owing only to their dedication and intuitiative understanding. It's a shame Awakening never got to present him/her in all his/her glory (instead we have to pick up the subtle hints), but at least it was better there than in Fates.

  3. None really, though I am leaning towards Joker and Harold because of hilarity involving them. But I have yet to find a character that I found particularly intriguing like Robin, Virion or Vaike back in Awakening. Could also be due to not having played the game and not bothered with reading translated supports.

  4. To adress your inquiries:

    Don't you worry about lagging or being prompt with reading. Once the chapter's up, it'll keep! I'd be sad if you didn't comment ever again, but don't feel like you're ever obligated- I write the fic for fun and hope people have just as much fun reading them. No appologies needed!

    Though you do have me curious- what sort of things would dismay you enough to turn you completely away?

    If anything, I say it's a personal code of mine. I am not entirely unfamiliar with the joy of having someone pay attention to your work and praising and criticizing it and how much it feeds into oneself to strive for more, so I make it a mission of mine to give feedback in any way I can, be it fanfic, game or song composition, as long as the creator appreciate it.

    I am a very avid reader of historical fiction and my bookshelf is filled with them, ranging from Chinese ancient ages to Napoleonic times. Historical fictions are fanfictions of history after all and I have come to expect that the author portrays it well, which is a mix of accuracy and creative flavor. I loathe when characters I expect to do certain actions, have certain traits or die are entirely deviated from, for flimsy reasons (like "I don't want him/her to die"), since it could make the character superfluous or rob what's good about them. On the other hand, I love it when an author adds distinct flavor to a character based on small and miniscule details, exploring what could have been without altering the "plot".

    Keeping within FE, Robin is a character I have seen on both ends of, though sadly more on the negative end. Making Robin a jerk, thunder god/goddess and/or expert swordsman/woman I see as mere self-satisfaction, because none is ever implied in canon material and it doesn't add unique flavor to Robin that couldn't been transferred to someone else. On the other hand, portraying him/her as an expert tactician well-versed in deception and strategical planning expands him/her much more based on the meager details seen in the game while still keeping within realistic ranges and I applaud that.

    So well, aside from the setting and characters, most of what made Fates Fates is gone in your fic, even if we only base it on pre-release promotion instead of the mess it became. Removal of Kamui (even if the character needs more fleshing out, cause the worshipping without deserving it bothers me to hell as well) definitely raised my eyebrow, the unique situation from his/her position gone. In that sense, for me it's hard to see it as a fanfic if the general plot is not followed, give or take special scenes of the author's ability and whim.

    Hence why I said you could very well have reskinned this and it would still be good. I am not reading this fic because it's a FE:Fates fic, I am reading it because it's good, simple as that. I just twitch because of the names contrast the image in my head, the same way it would in any other fic. Fortunately, you haven't done anything outlandish.

    Of course, this is all my personal preferences and I am well aware that others, if not most, disagree with me. Years of reading tends to set the bar high, though I admit I am wholly lost in stories not pertaining war, moral and idealism, my taste being more specialized than broad.

    Hm, this I'm curious about- do you have the expectation of war breaking out? And if so bwteeen whom? And is this because of what you've seen in-fic, or is this outside expectations?

    I am still expecting Hoshido and Nohr to go to war, for both reasons. Both nations still have strong tensions from almost everybody but royalty and unless the nations keep an India-Pakistan level of communication, small (intentional) mistakes can easily snowball into worldwide war. I am not sure how far I should apply RL logic or just go with MST3K mantra, but there is no balance of power in the world and two major powers right next to each other more than often leads to confrontation, if not expected to do so, without any of the city-states really being able to anything about it, unless they have Venetian level of influence.

    I'm glad you feel I'm paying attention to reader reviews! (I am making sure there's at least some food mentioned each chapter, ahah) And welcome such thorough, brazen comments- though I may continue on as planned rather than altering plot. Lala's song was definitely supposed to be more abstract and open for interpretation. It'll become more obvious later on but some of the wording hints Nohrian attitudes, that "one" flower being loved over the rest is strange. And well, garden theme.

    I am not really expecting some genius move pulled by Leon or Takumi deviating the whole story but I admit I will be dissapointed if the former doesn't quote Sun Tzu at least once ("Warfare is deception", "Speed is essential in war" etc.) or the latter don't carry the banner of Furinkazan, since both loves tactics and philosophy Takumi/Leon best love support!

  5. Tome users can all use Hoshidan spells

    The classes have different animations...somewhat, I think, but they're largely minor ones

    I see, thanks for answer. Had somewhat hoped for unique animations to account for the difference between Nohrian and Hoshidan magic.

  6. [spoiler=Story stuff]

    I haven't played IK but since Kamui's heritage is apparently more of a central topic in that route, does Kamui learn she's not blood related to her Hoshido siblings there? In that case, for IK, it wouldn't (assuming you romance them after the plot revelation) be known incest to romance the "nephews" of Kamui.

    Well, this forum went full out thinking Fates would be GoT stuffs before release. Guess they were more right than they thought.

  7. Ugh, that game was also just a waste of time. Professor Layton was essentially Kamui, and the ending literally made me facepalm. That's what I mean with plot twists just for the sake of having plot twists; if writers get too obsessed with surprising the player, consistency and logic are usually sacrificed.

    I actually like Layton. To be fair, Kamui is far worse. Layton is at least established as skilled and wise and is acknowledged as such. Phoenix gets his due as well in the game that you hate. But yeah, the ending was botched entirely.

    I've got a question for all of you: most of us seem to be in agreement that villains should be more sympathetic, the protagonist less "pure" for the lack of a better word, and the conflicts more complex. However, how would you go about writing something like that? What should such a conflict be about? A common suggestion seems to be "fertile lands vs barren wastes", but that has been done both in the series and outside of it - Windwaker springs to mind immediately, where every single Zelda fan suddenly felt empathy for the previously generic bad guy after a 30 second speech. That's some good writing.

    About the Windwaker example, it's less about the setting and just how skilled the author is at writing, with that moment just becoming a really memorable one.

    I would prefer a setting where the land is in chaos. Following FE theme, it could set in an age right AFTER an evil dragon has been defeated, after the realm has been devastated and society has collapsed, with remnants of the evil sect still existing. Various warlords would rise and scramble for power, creating different realms and entities. If we follow the "black-vs-white" thing, I would probably have the "lord" character be idealistic and have the most legitimate claim for a realm, possessing the legendary weapon and being son/grandson of the dragonslayer. Since this is still shortly after said dragonslaying, the lord and/or his faction will probably go on crusading against the sect.

    Said sect I want to tweak into actually doing something beneficial. They still recruit people to one day ressurect the evil dragon but they do it by healing people and providing food and shelter and give them the solace they want in such a wartorn world. Their goal is still evil, but their means are good, which is why people bother to join the sect.

    I would also introduce a "villain" character, who is really a nobody but rises through prominence through sheer skill and might and have extreme ideals of uniting the world by force. And in those times of turmoil, they might actually be right since nobody wants to listen to idealistic nonsense without results. So basically, a man who does not have qualms, but is a man of his own (instead of being chosen by gods), values meritocracy and believes himself as the right man for the job, and IS. Someone like Walhart, but fleshed out.

    Grey morality is easy to introduce if the setting itself is not peaceful but already twisted from the start, thus making different methods to gain peace all viable, whether through conquest or through benevolence. Historically (if IntSys would ever bother with such things), end of dynasties tend to have such drama.

    EDIT: Might as well add to the lord character that I would make him a strong soldier and brilliant strategist, true to the gameplay of FE, and... nothing else. No experience in adminstration or politicking or pr campaigns. Kind as you are to the people, if you are poor at governing, they will suffer regardless. So ideal for war, terrible for peace, yet fights to bring peace to the land.

  8. I do agree with people sayng that we definitely need better villains though. I don't like a single Fire Emblem villain aside from maybe Gangrel, but he falls flat because the story that's supposed to back the story up simply disappears. Most people/characters - bad guys/villains included - always have more than one layer and should have some contrasting duality. I know I make a lot of references to other games, but Ace Attorney is one game that pulls this off in the most natural way out of any game I have ever played; characters actually act like (often silly and exaggerated, but this is a game that relies on humor) like people and have various sides to them; the cold, efficient proescutor Edgeworth can't sometimes handle a recurring witness, is secretly in love with a kids show and harbors thoughts, feelings and secrets that gradually get revealed as the game and series progress; Maya is a bundle of nonsensical energy yet people know it's in part because of her messed up background and family situation, she's afrad of not being useful and she can be incredibly mature when the situation calls for it. - I'm just giving you a quick rundown of two characters, but this game really does nail the whole "people are more than just tropes" - there's always a sense of duality, and that usually extends even to minor characters as well.

    Not Dual Destinies though because that's a pile of shit.

    You should play PLvsPW. Though lacking in some areas, the narrative, with the accompanying stellar soundstrack, hooks you in for quite awhile. Saying what I was dissapointed with will spoil the game but I believe the game stands on its own.

    With the off-topicness out of the way, I think I do agree with most opinions in this thread. Grayer plot, more fleshed out villains, less-beloved heroes. I would like to see a Lord who is ambitious for once, instead of being chosen by royal blood, or perhaps still retain their supposed "white morality" but so stuck-up with it that they don't see the suffering they cause.

    The Avatar system needs to be revamped, if it's kept at all. I believe the Mass Effect series did a good job with Shepherd. By ME3, Shepherd is famous/notorious and bowed down because he/she went though heaven and hell, not because they were the chosen one. Hard work and determination is the way to go.

    Lastly, if they are going to keep children, keep generational wars, like back in FE4. I would like to see some Wars of the Roses-style drama with opposing sides' children keeping the fight that their parents started but yeah, that's not gonna happen anytime soon. More focus on human conflict rather than heroVsDragon is what I want.

    That said, I think we are all just engaging in wishful thinking. FE prides itself in its fantasy concept with idealistic wars and the fact that we are all here proves that it has been successful, just not optimal.

  9. Well I feel terrible. Even though I said I would follow this fic I have been lagging behind on the updates and this when you have bothered to read my opinions and enhance your stories based on it. Unfortunately, this will be an ongoing trend, since RL is a bitch. My apologies. Do know that I will read sooner or later and will probably only stop if you drop something I am really dismayed with, which you haven't so far (to be fair, your entire premise made me frown, but well, here I am).

    Fold Childhood Clothes Away

    You managed to tweak Hinoka again, very creative with showing her younger years from the eyes of Takumi. First of all, you shattered the image of Hinoka being a combatant and only so, as I believe she is kinda a klutz regarding everything else. I am probably misunderstanding once again, but wasn't there lack of equal rights in Hoshido? How come Hinoka is consulted with administration duties at such a young age (and, from what I can tell, quite good at it)? Aside from her motherly trait, I feel Hinoka here is somewhat... OOC, if you pardon my boldness. Since well, she is very much capable aside from her already canoncial trait of being a strong-willed woman. She doesn't do rash things like mounting a futile rescue with her and her pegasus alone (which is removed, I understand that) and instead is quite responsible and mature and perceptive. Admittedly, I don't know that much about Hinoka and your reverse flanderization might be for the best.

    About Takumi himself, while I don't get to see much of his actions himself, his worship of Ryouma (so I believe was in the game) seems to have more focus on Takumi and the non-existent Kamui's role seems to have been taken over by Hinoka. I don't really have any more observations beyond that.

    Aside from the characters themselves, I like your extensive description of what-I-believe are Japanese rituals (right down to the blackening of teeth! Ugh!). It makes Hoshido more rigid and unmodern and, IMO, fits them so much more than the idealistic, fantasy wutai in the game. Oh, and methinks Orochi would totally had let them drink some more weren't it for Yukimura. She is such a troll after all :)

    Chapter 4

    Your descriptions make me think more of Western Europe and Japan more than Nohr and Hoshido, since half of the things you mention aren't known to exist in the FE lore, like hunting dogs. It does flesh them out, but I do think you should put more emphasize on the things that make FE unique, like the wyverns (which I am somewhat dissapointed that you didn't describe, I looked forward to that) and the pegasi, and the erranous term of lances. Otherwise, your story could basically be reskinned and still retain whatever it's good about it. I want to be clear that I am not trying to criticize your story aspect, it's just that this is a fanfic of an established setting and plot, and I do expect more dominant elements of FE. Otherwise, you could just publish a book and I would still read it, no need to waste your excellent ideas.

    For example, your explanation of the dark mage garb is superb, instead of just ignoring it entirely and nobody lampshades it. Half-naked mage (well, robed frontline mages as well) is always bypassed in fiction so I am glad you at least did something towards it (though, doesn't Hoshidan spellcasters have almost equally scandalous clothing now that I think about it? Hinoka shouldn't be so surprised.)

    Also, I couldn't help but notice your use of "tenma knights". What do you define as knights in your world, as I believe they were supposed to be exclusive for Nohr? I do also look forward to see how Hoshidans are so stuck-up that they don't use horses for combat. Granted, it's unfair of me to criticize you for it since the game was already that way, so you don't need to justify it really. It's just a private sore point for me but gameplay elements take precedence over story elements sadly.

    About some of the new characters: I like the contrast between Elise's bright attitude with Sakura's more somber one and it livens up the atmosphere (and provides excellent material for snarking, my favorite type of dialogue). Your emphasis on Hinoka's own appreciation of Elise seems to mirror my own, so I believe that is indeed the feeling you try to convey. Zero is stellar though and I am glad you didn't change him either, with his double entendre and slightly creepy demeanor. The implications between Zero and Leon I have mixed feelings, because I believe Zero is a dedicated retainer to Leon, like Kagerou to Ryouma or Arthur to Elise, and so far, I feel it's somewhat forced. On the other hand, it definitely adds an unique twist with Leon and Hinoka's thought processes was a delight to read.

    While I appreciate your details of, well, everything, I feel events are really slow, if anything at all. The most exciting event was the Boldt retinues bold (pun intended) actions, giving us a further insight of the geopolitical climate but I still don't see the spark that might cause the whole snowballing into war. I didn't expect a World War I July Crisis but everything feels too... peaceful. And I think you should have more interactions between the characters, as they are the top moments and gives us a feel of your version of them. So far, they are far and inbetween, since the story mostly deals with Hinoka and her documentary of Nohrian life and times. I think you would benefit with more dialogues.

    I feel like a broken record, but... food porn! Man, my favorite in stories are elaborate and eloquent decriptions of either tactics or food (great combination right?) and you always manage to consistently hit one of them. Also, I am unable to appreciate the beauty of songs and poems sadly so the meaning of Lala's singing flies over my head. I am more well-versed with proverbs and sagely words in short sentences to punctuate a particular situation. I am probably mentioning it because I am being brazen of your attention to reader's reviews :) (both Takumi and Leon are well-versed in philosophy, hint hint)

  10. Just want to drop by and say that I noticed your updates, but haven't managed to find the time to properly sit down and read. I promise I will get to it soon.

    EDIT:

    Finally getting down to it. So beginning with Corrin's chapter:

    I like how you started with Corrin's awakening and her morning ritual. An improvement over just amounts of dialogues. I am quite surprised that Corrin is so amicable in this chapter, instead of the blood-lusting warrior in the prologue chapter. It serves to tell me that you have planned much more for her and I look forward to it.

    However, I am gonna be honest and say that the rest of the chapter didn't impress me as much. You have a habit of falling into blocks of texts with the numerous sentences disrupting the flow of reading. As such, I skipped much of the fighting scenes since they were kinda uninspirational and you merely told actions than having narrative flow. Add more subjective thoughts and provide more insight on, at least, Corrin's thought-process as she fights, thus giving the reader an idea of her fighting style. Also, space the paragraphs more, find clear places to divide the text.

    Kamui's chapter, I am so much more satisfied with, especially with your characterization of him as an airhead. Somehow, I like the monologues Kamui had in your previews more, perhaps because they were more visible and easier to connect to Kamui. I am gonna say here that you are really good at captivating the characters. I loved the Kamui and Orochi interaction, she is such a troll after all and I love it.

    What was Yukimura teaching anyway? I thought Kamui was beyond school age by now. You forgot to reverse his name to Sanada Yukimura, if you are going to keep consistent with Japanese naming theme.

    The dialogue with Kazahana and Kamui was good as well (honestly, you are good with dialogues), I just imagine Kazahana being more exasperated with Kamui, sharing Sakura's burden of worrying about the hopeless brother. It seems like everyone in the castle is babying Kamui (even Saizou!).

    Geez, I should just have wrapped everything in that all the dialogues in this chapter is good (huehue, Hinoka threatening to sleep in Kamui's room :)) ). It's still weird though that Kamui didn't deliver the news first before the whole sparring season. It's kinda important.

    Overall, I say your dialogues and characterization are pretty solid, no false steps so far. But the events inbetween (walking, fighting, anything but talking) need more fleshing out, since otherwise it looks like it jumps from talk to talk, without proper break to introduce who is talking. The battles need more fleshing out as well, as I currently only see them as blocks of text.

    Glad to see you still continuing this. Keep up the good work!

    EDIT2: Might as well mention that your Corrin and Kamui reminds of another sibling duo (guys though), both with good combat abilities and innate understanding of tactics, but one is inflexible and is prone to forceful actions while the other is lazy and too hesitant to act on his skills.

  11. I think the gameplay is pretty fine, alot of praise is directed towards it after all. I do agree that grinding (or at least an option) should be removed. And if children have no plot relevance, they should be removed as well. They don't really contribute to anything but to flesh out the origin parent, leaving the others in the dust.

    Otherwise, the plot needs to serious work. Maybe for once, IS should try to base their story around a certain historical tale, fable or mythology if they cannot come up with any original concept of their own. I believe Shozou Kaga did place roots in the medieval ages for FE4 and FE5 and I have heard FE9 took some inspiration from WWII. The fanservice got turn down. I understand the marriage concept is popular but hell if they make everything revolve around it. I wish they moved away from heroVSdragon concept and revolve around the human conflict instead.

    This is not just for FE, but I wish they moved away from the stereotypical goody two-shoes Lord-type, Avatar or not. Have someone who doesn't embody the traditional tropes, like being ambitious and believing himself to be right for the job, instead of being reluctantly dragged in or otherwise aloof.

  12. Joker and Soleil

    Not into the multiple voting but may vote Crimson and Yukimura

    If this is another fan service scramble thing would they have to make four CGs for the avatar with interchangeable hair if both get in or block the head like in the in-game cinematics?

    Or completely ignore the avatar, like they did back in Awakening (M!Avatar got third place and F!Avatar second).

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