Okay, story time. I apologize for the time it took Metal Rabbit.
Zephrion: So… Why did you fire Paul again?
Dragonblader: Because I hated him.
Zephrion: …Why did you hate him?
Dragonblader: Because I hated him.
Zephrion: Uh…huh… Well, do you want to hear my story? It’s full of action, adventu—
Dragonblader: No thanks. *Leaves*
Zephrion: :( *Sees CGV* Hey, CGV! You got a minute?
CGV: Sure, what do you want? *Walks over*
Zephrion: Want to hear my story? It’s full of action, adventure, and overall epicness.
CGV: Hmm… Well I do like me a good epic… Sure, go ahead.
Zephrion: Cool! * White mist fills the room* THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO…
-2 years ago-
Our story begins at an old orphanage…
Zephrion: Hmm… Is it just me, or does the grub today taste dirt?
Generic Unit #32785: It always tastes like dirt…
Zephrion: Ah, yes. How could I forget…
-Cranky Lady appeared!-
Cranky Lady: Dinner time’s over! Go to bed!
Everyone: Aww…
-In Zephrion’s Room-
Zephrion: Hm? *Spots a letter and a present on bed* What’s this… *Opens letter and reads it*
Letter: Dear Zephrion, this is the father you never knew you had until now. Sorry about ditching you in that old orphanage and everything… I was really drunk one night… And one thing led to another, and next thing you know, I was at the police station. Then they put you in the orphanage. I hope this present will make things up for you. Greetings from Hawaii, your Dad.
Zephrion: Huh. Well that was odd. Present time! *Rips open wrapping to reveal a Tornado tome* Oooooh…
-The next night-
Cranky Lady: Dinner time’s over! Go to bed!
Everyone: Aww…
Zephrion: Make me.
Everyone: Oooooooooh…
Cranky Lady: Oh, I’ll make you alright!
-The Cranky Lady hit Zephrion with her purse!-
-Zephrion took 24 Damage!-
Zephrion: Ouch! Take this! Random Backwards Japanese Gibberish That I Can Somehow Understand! *Tornado appears and sucks up the Cranky Lady*
Everyone: Yay!!! *The Tornado then goes wild and destroys the entire orphanage*
Everyone: …BOO!!!
Zephrion: Oops…
Blinky: I say we beat him up!
Pinky: I say we hit him over the head with a baseball bat!
Inky: I say we push him over and kick him!
Clyde: I say we rip his limbs off, toss him in a pot of boiling water, and eat him!
Everyone: …
Clyde: …What?
Random Guy: Hey! He’s gone!
Random Guy2: What!? *Looks around, but Zephrion is nowhere to be found* That dastard thinks he can get away… After him!!!
-Meanwhile, at the edge of a familiar forest…-
Zephrion: Phew… Good thing I had the sense to get away while they were thinking about maiming me… What are they so worked up about anyway? I thought they hated that place! Then again, they have nowhere else to go… Oh well, not my problem anymore…
Random Guy: I think he’s over here!
Zephrion: Better lay low in this forest for a while…
-Present Day-
Zephrion: And I’ve been here ever since! Hiding away from those bloodthirsty kids for two whole years…
CGV: That was the least epic story I’ve ever heard. *Leaves*
Zephrion: :(
???: YES! I’ve finally found you!
Zephrion: You spent two years looking for me in this forest? How the hell did you survive!?
Clyde: I resorted to cannibalism.
Zephrion: Eww…
Clyde: Now I believe we have unfinished business… *Takes out fork and knife*
Zephrion: o_o; AHHHHHH!!! *Runs away*
Clyde: Hey! Get back here! *Chases*
And Clyde was never seen again. Zephrion, however, returned in two days. When asked if he was hungry, he simply replied, “No thanks, I just ate.”