"Okay Jill, I know I haven't treated you very well, but I need you to kill this swordmaster here. Just hit him once and we're good. Thankfully you should be able to WHAT THE HECK HOW DID HE DODGE?! YOU HAD A 67% CHANCE OF HITTING HIM! SIXTY SEVEN! Oh well, nothing to worry about, I'll get someone else to do it. He's not strong enough to kill you now anyway in the one attack he's JESUS FLIPPIN' CHRIST HE GOT A CRITICAL HIT?! HE ONLY HAD A FOUR PERCENT CHANCE! FOUR-F**KING PERCENT!!
"Screw this, I'm going back to Advance Wars."