Mitoya Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Summary Astrid is an inexperienced bow knight, born into noble House Damiell of Begnion. She lacks confidence in her abilities as a soldier, but possesses a strong will and a determination to improve. Astrid has a gentle and compassionate nature which hides a rebellious, slightly stubborn streak. Path of Radiance Ike’s group first meets Astrid on its entry into Begnion, where she and Gatrie are attempting to defend the apostle on a Begnion ship under attack. Despite her noble birth, Astrid refuses to hide belowdecks, pointing out that the situation requires every available fighter. Ike can recruit her to the group during the battle, allowing her to continue to fight at her request. Astrid remains with the Greil Mercenaries after the battle and eventually becomes a member of the Crimean Liberation Army. She explains to Ike before the group’s first mission in the employ of the apostle that she recognizes her own frailty, but wishes to become stronger and more skilled. She believes she can accomplish this goal by following Ike’s example. Radiant Dawn By the time of Radiant Dawn, Astrid, along with Makalov and Marcia, has moved to Crimea and is serving as a Crimean Royal Knight under the command of General Geoffrey. Her dedication as a soldier remains unchanged as she fights to defend Queen Elincia and her new country. General Astrid first became a bow knight in an attempt to evade an arranged marriage with Senator Lekain, Duke of Gaddos, as well as to escape the tyranny of her parents. As she explains to Sothe in their support conversations, she was determined to avoid the fate of her sisters, who were married off to fiancés unknown to them and who periodically wrote Astrid tear-streaked letters from their new lives. Although her family believed her unequal to becoming a knight and expected her to return defeated, Astrid refused to cave under their pressure and learned the rudiments of knighthood as a volunteer in the Begnion army. Apart from being an expression of personal freedom, Astrid’s decision to become a knight was influenced by a desire for personal growth. Her determination to become stronger and more independent and to gain experience in the world is what initially seals Astrid’s membership in Ike’s force in Path of Radiance, and it plays a large role in her support conversations with Sothe and Gatrie. Her supports with Makalov in Path of Radiance reveal an attraction for him, not evidently reciprocated, accompanied by a faulty understanding of his character. Her own generosity and compassion are underscored first when Makalov complains about her donating all her own money to an impoverished family she met on the streets, then when she parts with a memento of her grandmother, a valuable necklace, believing him to be in need of money. Astrid’s misguided affections for Makalov continue into Radiant Dawn. By the time she appears in-game, she has come under criticism for blindly idolizing him; her conviction that he is a “fine gentleman” affects incredulity in many. She receives harsh words in particular from Calill, who is aggravated by Astrid’s apparent lack of pride and accuses her of “mooning over him and cleaning up his messes.” However, Astrid rebuffs such attacks on her own character while vehemently defending that of her love interest. After the war, Astrid will flout popular opinion and marry Makalov if the two have an A support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Astrid is an inexperienced bow knight, born into noble House Damiell of Begnion. Should that be "born into (the) noble House..."? I think it makes sense if it's just "born into House Damiell", but the addition of "noble" kind of throws me away. That's the only thing that I can see that's anywhere near blatanty wrong. There are a few things that might need fixing, related to sentence structure or flow, but I'll need some time to go through those. Overall, it seems like a very good article, thanks : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitoya Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Should that be "born into (the) noble House..."? I think it makes sense if it's just "born into House Damiell", but the addition of "noble" kind of throws me away.That's the only thing that I can see that's anywhere near blatanty wrong. There are a few things that might need fixing, related to sentence structure or flow, but I'll need some time to go through those. Overall, it seems like a very good article, thanks : ) Yeah, adding "the" would probably be a good idea. I'll be happy to look at other suggestions whenever you get the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 She explains to Ike(,) before the group’s first mission in the employ of the apostle(,) that she recognizes her own frailty, but wishes to become stronger and more skilled. I think you might need some extra commas here. Her determination to become stronger(,) more independent and to gain experience in the world is what initially seals Astrid’s membership in Ike’s force in Path of Radiance I'm not completely sure of this, but it seems a bit odd to have two "ands" a row. I think it would be alright to replace one of them with a comma, since it is a list of sorts. As I suspected, I can't really find much else to fault. I would suggest possibly moving the General paragraphs into the PoR and RD bios. However, I understand that it might require some hefty rewording and reordering (especially for the first two paragraphs), so it's completely up to you ^^;;; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitoya Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 I think I'll just change it to "experienced" so I can add it to the list and keep things parallel. I really did want to combine the general paragraphs in the FE9 and FE10 sections, in keeping with other articles, but I couldn't figure out a way to do that without losing continuity for her background story. As such, I think I'm going to leave it alone (unless it bugs me enough that I snap/inspiration strikes/someone else comes up with a good way to do it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitoya Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 Summary Astrid is an inexperienced bow knight, born into the noble House Damiell of Begnion. She lacks confidence in her abilities as a soldier, but possesses a strong will and a determination to improve. Astrid has a gentle and compassionate nature which hides a rebellious, slightly stubborn streak. Path of Radiance Ike’s group first meets Astrid on its entry into Begnion, where she and Gatrie are attempting to defend the apostle on a Begnion ship under attack. Despite her noble birth, Astrid refuses to hide belowdecks, pointing out that the situation requires every available fighter. Ike can recruit her to the group during the battle, allowing her to continue to fight at her request. Astrid remains with the Greil Mercenaries after the battle and eventually becomes a member of the Crimean Liberation Army. She explains to Ike, before the group’s first mission in the employ of the apostle, that she recognizes her own frailty, but wishes to become stronger and more skilled. She believes she can accomplish this goal by following Ike’s example. Radiant Dawn By the time of Radiant Dawn, Astrid, along with Makalov and Marcia, has moved to Crimea and is serving as a Crimean Royal Knight under the command of General Geoffrey. Her dedication as a soldier remains unchanged as she fights to defend Queen Elincia and her new country. General Astrid first became a bow knight in an attempt to evade an arranged marriage with Senator Lekain, Duke of Gaddos, as well as to escape the tyranny of her parents. As she explains to Sothe in their support conversations, she was determined to avoid the fate of her sisters, who were married off to fiancés unknown to them and who periodically wrote Astrid tear-streaked letters from their new lives. Although her family believed her unequal to becoming a knight and expected her to return defeated, Astrid refused to cave under their pressure and learned the rudiments of knighthood as a volunteer in the Begnion army. Apart from being an expression of personal freedom, Astrid’s decision to become a knight was influenced by a desire for personal growth. Her determination to become stronger, more independent, and experienced in the world is what initially seals Astrid’s membership in Ike’s force in Path of Radiance, and it plays a large role in her support conversations with Sothe and Gatrie. Her supports with Makalov in Path of Radiance reveal an attraction for him, not evidently reciprocated, accompanied by a faulty understanding of his character. Her own generosity and compassion are underscored first when Makalov complains about her donating all her own money to an impoverished family she met on the streets, then when she parts with a memento of her grandmother, a valuable necklace, believing him to be in need of money. Astrid’s misguided affections for Makalov continue into Radiant Dawn. By the time she appears in-game, she has come under criticism for blindly idolizing him; her conviction that he is a “fine gentleman” affects incredulity in many. She receives harsh words in particular from Calill, who is aggravated by Astrid’s apparent lack of pride and accuses her of “mooning over him and cleaning up his messes.” However, Astrid rebuffs such attacks on her own character while vehemently defending that of her love interest. After the war, Astrid will flout popular opinion and marry Makalov if the two have an A support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eltoshen Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 (edited) o-O Wait, is this a completed article? I think you posted in the wrong forum. Oh, I see. Your topic in the Story Article forum will be moved here once it's added onto the site, that's all this forum is for. Edited January 17, 2009 by Eltoshen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 (edited) Yeah, that's right. I knew I forgot something (which was to alter the forum permissions). I really did want to combine the general paragraphs in the FE9 and FE10 sections, in keeping with other articles, but I couldn't figure out a way to do that without losing continuity for her background story. As such, I think I'm going to leave it alone (unless it bugs me enough that I snap/inspiration strikes/someone else comes up with a good way to do it). No problem, that's fine with me ^^ EDIT Added ^^ Edited January 25, 2009 by VincentASM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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