Nightmare Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 (edited) Well, here goes. ------------------------- Summary: Dheginsea is the king of Goldoa, a black dragon of incredible, godlike power. He was one of Ashera's Three Heroes who helped stop the "Dark God". He is lawful neutral, which leads to other nations believing that he is insensitive to their troubles. In Path of Radiance: The Black Dragon King remained neutral throughout the Mad King's War. He, however, prepared a meeting place for all the laguz royalty. There, Caineghis and he discussed matters concerning the Mad King's War and he also advised the bird kings. He warned Tibarn and Reyson that their so-called vengeance against Begnion will only gain them Begnion's wrath and nothing more. He also advised Naesala to stop his extreme actions, telling him that expanding his country would do him no good if he found enemies at every border. In Radiant Dawn: The Laguz Alliance, finding themselves in a tight spot, escape Begnion through the Kauku Caves, which are known for being dangerous due to the large amount of unstable magma inside. From the caves, they hope to enter Gallia but instead stumble upon Goldoa. There, they pay Dheginsea a visit and tell him what happened and how they ended up in Goldoa. Dheginsea, though understanding their plight, does not allow them to pass from Goldoa to Gallia and instead demands they return to the caves and find the way to Gallia through there. This act of stubbornness enrages many members of the Laguz Alliance, including Tibarn and Skrimir. Ike remarks bitterly about Dheginsea's demands, which prompts Dheginsea to tell him that he does not understand, for not having lived long enough. Finally, Ena and Nasir beg the king to give them passage because Reyson is among them and he was the one who allowed Rajaion to have a peaceful death. Hearing this, Dheginsea grudgingly allows them to pass to Gallia through Goldoa. After Ashera judges the world and Yune's Chosen Ones reach the Tower of Guidance, Yune informs them that while they were making their way towards the tower, she went around the world and gathered as much help as possible, but she found no one in Goldoa. And sure enough, the group finds Dheginsea and his army of dragons inside the tower. Dheginsea informs them that they have broken their plea with the goddess by constantly warring and must now await punishment. Though Micaiah tells him that it was not war that woke Ashera up, but the Galdr of Release, he does not believe her. Dheginsea and his army then try to stop the Chosen Ones in their tracks, but after a long, hard-fought battle, they are defeated. Dheginsea falls to the ground and transforms back into his human state. Yune then approaches him, and he immediately recognizes her, apologizing for all he has done and admitting that he was wrong. He admits to having changed history, naming Yune a "dark god" despite knowing that she wasn't evil but merely too young to control her power, and hiding his own tracks so that other kings would learn and not fight. He also says that it was he who claimed that a union between a laguz and a beorc is taboo and violates the laws of the goddess. It is then that Yune asks him why he still sided with Ashera if he knew what was right. Dheginsea replies that he thought of it as punishment for all he has done, resulting in Yune calling him a "stubborn scalebag". Dheginsea then asks Yune to forgive him for all he has done, which she does. After all this, Dheginsea has Gareth gather all the survivors from the battle and annotates Kurthnaga as their new commander. He wishes a life full of happiness for Ena and thanks Nasir for following his king so far even though Nasir had once left his country in disgust. He then tells Kurthnaga to lead the army to victory, and that he (Dheginsea) must remain in one place for he is wounded. A while after, his spirit parts and he dies. In a memory scene, it is revealed that Dheginsea went to great lengths to prevent his own country from creating chaos. Lehran asks him to help with freeing the laguz slaves in Begnion, while he refuses, saying that their covenant with the goddess was to not have any wars. This has Lehran asking him if he thinks it would console the slaves if they knew that Dheginsea was indifferent to their situation, to which Dheginsea replies that all things require sacrifice. Dheginsea's stance makes Lehran leave Goldoa and go to Begnion to find a solution without him. In an info conversation, Gareth and Nasir reveal a great deal about Dheginsea's actions before and during the Mad King's War. They tell Ike and Micaiah that he had strictly forbidden other dragons to engage in any kind of contact and interaction with the outside world, specifically combat. Almedha, the princess of Goldoa, was against her father's policies. She fled to Daein where she fell in love with the young prince Ashnard. Dheginsea began worrying and sent a unit of red dragons to retrieve her. They were, however, caught by Daein and warped into Feral Ones. With the failure of the red dragons, Rajaion, prince of Goldoa and heir to the throne, sacrificed himself for Almedha's freedom. The loss of two children, one dearer than the other, was a heavy blow to Dheginsea. Even so, he still did not waver in his neutrality, but was near doing so had Ike not won the Mad King's War when he did. ------------------------- Apologies if this isn't quite up to par with the other articles, as it was slightly rushed. I feel like it's missing something...so yeah, go ahead and...tear it apart or something. Edited March 10, 2009 by Nightmare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 (edited) I've been a bit busy lately, so I can only proof-read this very briefly. Hopefully NTG will come along to take another look as well ^^ There, he discussed matters concerning the war with Caineghis and advised the bird kings It sounds a bit like they're fighting Caineghis. Maybe change the start to something like "There, Caineghis and he discussed...". Nasir beg the king to give them passage because Reyson is among them and he (was) the one who allowed Rajaion to have a peaceful death. Since it occured in the past. which has Yune call him a "stubborn scalebag" Not sure if it's just me, but "which has Yune call him" sounds a bit odd. Something like "which (makes) Yune call him" might work a bit better, although my suggestion is a bit basic-sounding. In any case, it looks good overall to me. I'm not completely familiar with RD, so I'm not too sure what it could be missing. Perhaps it seems like that because of where you left off? If so, I think that would be okay. Edited March 5, 2009 by VincentASM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 Thanks a bunch. Fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knife Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Very good, although you could mention his family members a bit more. Kurth's name doesn't show up until the near-end of the article. Is Ena his daughter-in-law? Why isn't Kurth, Ena, Rajaion, and Nasir mentioned in the POR section? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 Kurth's name doesn't show up until the near-end of the article. Is Ena his daughter-in-law? I'm not sure exactly how to implement those. Give recommendations and I'd be happy to. Why isn't Kurth, Ena, Rajaion, and Nasir mentioned in the POR section? I could expand on the PoR section by mentioning Naesala's piracy and Kurthnaga being a witness to the scene, stuff like that. But he didn't have interaction with Rajaion, Ena or Nasir in PoR, and that's what I'm focusing on. Since they didn't interact with him in PoR I felt it was unnecessary to mention them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 He is chaotically neutral I was just wondering what exactly this line meant. I'm not too knowledgable about RD's storyline so it could just be me. From (the caves), they hope to enter Gallia Might just be me being picky, but just to emphasize where "there" is and also to avoid repetition, since you use "there" near the beginning of the following sentence. (T)here, they pay Dheginsea a visit I don't think you need "in" at the beginning and it sounds a bit better this way, I think. and instead demands (they) return to the caves Minor edit. which prompts Dheginsea to tell (Ike) that he does not understand(,) for not having lived long enough Not too sure if the extra comma is needed. Though Micaiah tells him that it was not war that woke (Ashera) up and thanks Nasir for following his king so far even though (Nasir) had once left his country in disgust. It was Nasir who left right? Just making sure. He then tells Kurthnaga that he must remain in one place What's this sentence supposed to mean? As in, where does Kurthnaga remain and why? which has Lehran asking him if he thinks it would console the slaves The sentence that contains this seems to go on for a while. It might be a good idea to split it from here. Maybe change the start of this to "This has Lehran asking him..." or something similar. I think that should be about it : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 Whoa man. So many errors I didn't notice. O_o Guess that's what I get for rushing it. Fixed them all, btw. I was just wondering what exactly this line meant. I'm not too knowledgable about RD's storyline so it could just be me. Confusion on my part. I'll change that to lawful neutral. It was Nasir who left right? Just making sure. Yeah. Want me to edit that too? Anyway, thanks a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Dheginsea replies that he thought of it as punishment for all he has done, resulting in Yune calling him a "stubborn scalebag". Dheginsea then asks Yune to forgive him for all he's done Just me being nit-picky again, but maybe you could change one of the "for all he has done" to "for his actions", just to cut down on repetition. Yeah. Want me to edit that too? Sure ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Done and done. Anything else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thanks, I think it's ready now : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Awesome. You should fill out his age and relations too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I don't think I know his age : o As for the relations, I tried to keep them to their own generation and the one before (since he only has children, I didn't include any). I can't remember why (might be to do with FE4), but that's what I decided on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Well I just said that since you seem to have filled in Mist's relatives, when she only has blood ties while Dheginsea has a daughter-in-law. :o A while ago I calculated his age and it turned out to be 1000+. Dunno if you want to add that though, since it's mostly just speculation. ;>_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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