Inactive Account Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 (edited) WARNING WARNING WARNING: This is going to become an actual comic at some point, and thus reading the script now may be considered spoilers if you want to read the actual comic. (Though even if you do wait, the comic will be much prettier. ^_^) I was waiting a little longer to post this (read: procrastinating) but with the server rollback, I want to do my part to get this place active and running again. This is a new project of mine, not necessarily limited to Serenes. It's a fan-manga of sorts, set after the events of Final Fantasy VII. I say "of sorts" because though it will use the world and history of FFVII, it will not be about or include any major characters except for a few brief cameos. Before I draw the manga, though, I want to get feedback on the story. So I'm posting the script. Yeah, it's a script, not a script-fic, and I've done my best to stick to true script format. After I've polished the writing of a few chapters I'll start drawing the manga itself. I'm looking for constructive criticism with regards to character development and plot. Please post in the designated feedback topic. Rip my work to shreds- that's what I'm here for- but be civil about it please. Also, if you are not familiar with FFVII, please don't fill the feedback topic with questions about different backstory events, the world, and other terms; you can find answers aplenty at finalfantasy.wikia.org and I'll be able to keep my focus. On the other hand, if you are familiar with FFVII and notice some glaring plothole that I've overlooked, please point it out to me. Now that I've got that out of the way: Chapter 1 EXT SECTOR 8 RUINS- EVENING What was once a major city street, reduced to rubble. The only thing distinguishing the street from the surrounding buildings is a height difference. The sky is hazy, of a dark-ruddy color- perhaps a sunset, but a fell one. A GIRL stands on a flat section of concrete at the end of the street, looking down another street. Dust obscures her coloration. GIRL It’s this way… The girl clambers over the ruined chunks of pavement down the next street. She arrives at a massive ruin, once a monstrous skyscraper. A bent metal sign, barely legible, marks the transition from Sector 8 to Sector 0. GIRL Here we are. Took me long enough to find a path. The girl looks towards the front of the building. She sees no door. GIRL Oh, great. Here we go again. The girl begins to climb the rubble next to the skyscraper. Eventually she reaches a row of broken windows. She enters through the least broken one, landing in a crouch on the second floor of the ruined Shinra Building. GIRL This better be worth it. Ah- The girl gasps and winces, clutching her stomach. As she moves her hand away, her shirt is tugged up a little and we see slightly stained bandages underneath. GIRL Shinra, I hope you figured this out before you went down… The girl moves down the hall, and the lobby of the building is visible. Everything is covered in dust and debris. There is a pair of elevators; the girl heads for these. GIRL These better work. She tries the “up” button. There is no response. GIRL Of course not. Lucky I have materia… and know how to use it. The girl pulls a small green sphere out of her pocket. Lighting arcs from the sphere, energizing the elevator. The doors creak open. The girl enters the elevator and stares at the control panel. Her hand waves around the panel for a moment, then settles on the “50” button. GIRL Good a place to start as any… She shocks the elevator again and it creaks upward. Arriving at the 50th floor, it shudders to a halt, and the doors open. The girl walks out. The doors do not close behind her, lacking electricity. The girl wanders the halls. They are mostly empty, with a few abandoned cubicles. The floor follows a square formation. The girl is approaching the elevator again when she walks over a discolored panel in the floor. Rusted hinges give way with a metallic squeal and the panel swings open, dropping the girl to the floor below. The girl hits her head as she lands a few meters in front of a shocked BOY. The boy runs toward her, looking over her. She is unconscious and her ankle lies at an awkward angle. The boy pulls a cell phone out of his pocket and dials a number. BOY Ah… Edge Emergency Unit? DISPATCHER Yeah, what is it? BOY This girl just, well, fell through the ceiling in front of me. She’s in a bad way… I think she’s got a concussion. DISPATCHER Where are ya, kid? BOY Uh… Old Midgar, in the— DISPATCHER Sorry, kid, we don’t go out there. You shouldn’t be there either. If you’ve got any healing materia, use ‘em. BOY I don’t have any materia. DISPATCHER Good luck with that, then, kid. CLICK as the DISPATCHER hangs up. The boy sighs. BOY Materia… Of course I haven’t got any. But if it’s necessary… you haven’t got any, have you? He checks the girl’s pockets. Green spheres spill from one of them, rolling across the floor. BOY So you are a magic user… Let’s see, light green is healing, right? But I don’t know how to use it… He picks up a light green sphere anyway. Green light spills from it, startling him. The light flows over the girl, and her ankle straightens. Her face loses its pained look. BOY Well, her breathing’s gone back to normal… I guess that was the right one. Now, are you gonna wake up or something? GIRL Nngh… BOY Actually, you’d probably do better to just sleep… LATER. The boy sits beside the still-sleeping girl, eating a sandwich. An electric lantern indicates that it is now dark outside the building. The girl stirs. GIRL Ugh… what happened to me? BOY You fell through the ceiling. GIRL Oh, so I’m dead, okay, gotcha. BOY No, you’re alive. Shinra Building. 49th floor. GIRL Okay, so who are you and where’s my materia? BOY It’s right here! I wouldn’t steal it. And I’m Doran. Treasure hunter. Your materia’s right there, don’t worry. What were you doing here, anyway? GIRL Treasure hunting. Didn’t know someone claimed the whole darn building. DORAN I haven’t. I was just wondering why you were here. There’s plenty for both of us. GIRL Of course there is. So I’ll be on my way. DORAN Whoa, wait, you’re in no condition to be running off! GIRL Why do you care? DORAN Well, most people would care that someone who’s recovering from a concussion wants to go off roaming through some ruins. GIRL I get it. You’re worried I’m gonna go off and die somewhere and make a mess. DORAN No, I- Why would you even say that? GIRL People don’t actually care about each other. I thought they did, once. But they don’t. They- ah- The girl doubles over in pain, clutching her stomach. DORAN looks about in panic. DORAN Whoa, are you hurt? Here- GIRL No! Leave me alone! I’ll go… deal with it… The girl staggers toward the end of the hallway. DORAN Where do you think you’re going like that? Stay here! What’s wrong with you? GIRL Fine. I’ll stay. Turn around and don’t look, or I might have to hurt you. DORAN turns around. GIRL Dangit… have you got any spare bandages? DORAN Er… in my bag… back there. GIRL Great. Thanks. The girl staggers over to the bag and pulls out a roll of bandages. She rolls her shirt partway up, revealing bandages covering her from the bottom of her ribs to the top of her hips. The bandages are blotched with black. She rips the bandages away, revealing the black marks of geostigma on her skin. She takes the clean bandages and rewraps herself, rolling her shirt back down. DORAN You have geostigma…don’t you? GIRL Mind your own business. The girl digs in her pocket and pulls out a few gil. She passes them to DORAN. GIRL Here. For the bandages. DORAN You don’t need…ah, thanks. GIRL You’re not going to let me leave, are you? DORAN It depends. Have you got friends with you in the building? GIRL Yeah, why? DORAN Okay, so long as you’re with them, you can go. Why don’t you call them? GIRL I haven’t got a phone. DORAN …There’s really nobody here, is there? GIRL If you touch me I’ll shock you into the middle of next week. You know I’ve got materia. DORAN That’s… no! Not what you’re thinking at all! GIRL Huh. Say, you’re not armed, are you? DORAN What? No, why? GIRL That. The girl points down the hall. Two Shinra robots, red saucers, are approaching. DORAN …Frick. GIRL Get behind me, then. The girl pulls the thunder materia from her pocket. Lightning arcs towards one saucer. She shocks it repeatedly. The other goes around; she does not see it. DORAN leaps at it, landing on top of it. He repeatedly kicks it, distracting it. The saucer that the girl is fighting breaks down, sparking and smoking. GIRL Oi! Get off it! DORAN jumps off the saucer as the girl shocks it into fizzing oblivion. The two stare at each other. DORAN Thanks. GIRL No problem. Why don’t you carry weapons, anyway? DORAN I do, when I can find ‘em. But I can usually get by with hand-to-hand… GIRL What about materia? DORAN I…don’t like magic. GIRL Whatever. Have I proved myself able to survive? DORAN I suppose, but you really want to wander around ruins alone at night? GIRL If I hadn’t fallen through the floor up there, I’d probably be done by now. DORAN I suppose I can’t keep you from leaving. Well, good luck. GIRL Bye. You probably won’t see me again. DORAN Right…Bye then… The girl starts off down the hall. DORAN That got awkward…I don’t even know her name. DORAN starts off down the hall in the opposite direction. He comes to some sort of employee break area. There are dusty couches and a few dead plants. DORAN Looks like a good place to hide my stuff…I don’t think she’s the stealing type, but there might be rats or more robots. DORAN places his pack under a table with a particularly ugly dead plant on it. DORAN sets off down the hall. He comes to a doorway on the side of the hall; there was once a glass door, but it lies in fragments on the floor. Stepping gingerly over the glass, DORAN enters the room. The room contains some large, dilapidated machines. There is a small crate in one corner. DORAN opens the crate. DORAN Ugh…materia. Well, I guess I can sell it. DORAN picks up the crate and carries it back to where his pack is hidden. A few materia spheres roll down the hall. He does not stop to pick them up. DORAN places the crate next to it. DORAN retraces his way down the hall, passing the materia room. He comes to another shattered door and enters the room. A row of item dispensers lines one wall. There is a smashed TV on another, and another glass door, this one intact. The door reads “LV 49 BRIEFING ROOM.” DORAN examines each item dispenser. All but one are locked. The final one opens to reveal some equipment. DORAN takes it out. DORAN Gauntlets… armor… a protect ring! Nice, that’ll bring a good price. DORAN carries the items under one arm into the briefing room. He looks around. There are conference tables but no chairs; the chairs are either stolen or destroyed. A broadsword lies rusting in the corner. DORAN Can’t use the sword… but it might be sellable. DORAN takes the sword and exits back to the hallway. He deposits his finds with his other things and heads for the elevators. DORAN These seem to be going off and on…I guess I can risk trying, though. DORAN presses the lift button. The lift judders to life and the doors sag open. DORAN enters the lift and presses the “70” button. DORAN Well, if the information about the 49th floor having stuff was false, I guess I’ll just start at the top and go down… The lift lurches unevenly up, but stops at the 52nd floor. DORAN gets out anyway. The hall is as featureless as the others save a small, blackened plaque on the wall. DORAN wipes away the dust on the plaque, revealing the legend “Lv 52 Special Ops Division (Turks Floor) DORAN The Turks? They might have left some good stuff. DORAN begins to explore the floor. There are offices on the sides of the halls, but all are locked. The corner of the floor opposite the elevator, though, has a half-opened door marked “Equipment Room.” DORAN opens it and moves to enter. The room is dark. GIRL’s voice Hey! Whatever you are, don’t come near! I’m armed! DORAN Hey, sorry, it’s just me… I’ll leave then… GIRL Meh, thought you were a monster or something. DORAN Find anything good? GIRL Why, so I can give it to you? There’s mostly a bunch of useless stuff in here. DORAN I’ll look anyway. GIRL Good luck with that. DORAN enters the room. The girl is looking over some shelves. There is a rack of guns on one wall. The shelf the girl looks at holds melee weapons- mostly swords, but a few electroshock rods. The girl picks one up. GIRL This might actually be useful… DORAN Wouldn’t a sword or a gun be more practical? GIRL It would if you kill people. I don’t. DORAN …Oh. GIRL I don’t sell any lethal weapons I find, either. You can take them if you want. DORAN Uh…Thanks. DORAN begins to pick up boxes of ammunition. GIRL Yeah, you’re like the rest of them. I thought so. The girl exits the room, taking a baton and a holster for it with her. DORAN What… DORAN finds himself picking up one of the other stun batons. He clips it to his belt. He places the ammunition back on the shelf and picks up an unmarked box. Inside it are more light-colored materia. DORAN keeps the box. He also takes another box marked “Batteries.” DORAN exits the room and moves off down the hall again. VOICE If you want to use the elevator, I’ve got it running again. DORAN What? Oh… thanks. DORAN returns to the elevator. The doors are open; the girl is inside. GIRL I seem to have underestimated you. That’s nice. I suppose. What floor? DORAN Er… Thanks? Ah- I was just gonna go to the top. There is an awkward silence. DORAN Um… by the way, what’s your name? GIRL Why do you care? After we’re out of the building we’ll probably never meet again. DORAN It’s just kind of awkward not knowing. GIRL I suppose, if you care about that sort of thing. The elevator stops at the 68th floor. The girl gets off. GIRL …It’s Rayel. Good luck, I guess. The doors close before DORAN can reply. RAYEL begins to explore the 68th floor. The 68th floor has been completely destroyed. It is impossible to tell what all the bits of rubble used to be. Twisted metal marks the former existence of lab equipment. There is no recognizable object. RAYEL Dang. RAYEL begins to pick her way through the rubble. Under some scrap metal she unearths a dented but somehow intact filing cabinet. She bangs at the side of it, then tries the drawers. The middle one, marked “Ge to Ma” opens. RAYEL Score! RAYEL flips through the files. The files go straight from “Genesis Clones” to “Gillian Hewley.” RAYEL This is some messed-up stuff… but anything with geostigma ought to have been in between these… RAYEL abandons the file cabinet. She continues through the rubble, finding nothing of value except a few battered disks, which she examines, then pockets, looking dubious. She heads back towards the elevator. As she clambers over a ruined machine, it shifts aside, revealing an open hatch to the next floor down. RAYEL It’s the faster way down… RAYEL stands next to the hatch. RAYEL I… I can do this… RAYEL sits down, dangling her legs through the hole. She twists so that she holds the floor with her arms, her lower body going down. RAYEL Have to let go… it’s only a few feet, girl! RAYEL lets go of the edge and drops down to the next floor, landing on her behind. RAYEL surveys the 67th floor. It is in slightly better repair than the 68th, but still quite a mess. She spots a door marked “Data Room.” RAYEL There! RAYEL heads for the data room, skirting broken machinery. The door is electronically locked. RAYEL This has got to be it. Screw the dead Shinra locks. RAYEL gives the lock a jab with her new stun baton. It unlocks, sizzling and smoking. Rayel enters the room. The data room is also in poor condition, but there are some charred filing cabinets and one machine that is vaguely recognizable as a computer terminal. RAYEL goes to the computer. RAYEL Wonder if I can get this running… RAYEL brushes some debris off the computer’s screen, then jams her lightning materia into the power button. Nothing happens. RAYEL shakes her head and moves to the filing cabinets. She finds another “G” drawer and opens it, running through the files. The files jump straight from “Genesis” to “Gillian” again. RAYEL Rrgh! RAYEL whirls about and shocks the computer terminal in frustration. Miraculously, the computer shudders to life. RAYEL sits down in front of it hopefully. She brings up a file browser on the computer and searches for “geostigma.” After searching for a few minutes, the computer returns the reply “NO RESULTS” RAYEL pounds the desk angrily. RAYEL Come on! Didn’t Shinra know ANYTHING about geostigma? Why’d you have to screw over the planet and leave us with this junk to deal with, too? Why?!? With angry tears spilling from her eyes, RAYEL gets up runs from the room. She trips over a machine on her way back to the elevators, gets up, and keeps running. RAYEL takes the elevators all the way down to the entrance floor and runs down the stairs. Midway down, she stumbles, gasping and clutching her stomach, and falls down the last few steps. The fall does not injure her significantly, but she passes out from the pain in her stomach. END CHAPTER 1 Edited June 19, 2009 by _____ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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