Candlejack Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 And thought of an idea for a thread: post some hilarious conversations. WARNING: CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL STUFF SO DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU IF SEXY STUFF CREEPS YOU OUT ALTHOUGH THE ENDING IS FUCKING HILARIOUS IMO. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi Stranger: asl You: 17/f/CA Stranger: cool what part of ca Stranger: i live in the bay area You: L.A. You: STAR Stranger: lucky Stranger: so how do you like living there You: STAR You: OPEN FIRE Stranger: nice Stranger: are you horny? You: yes Stranger: i am too You: lets RP You: ideas? Stranger: girl i got so many ideas Stranger: u cant imagine You: give me one You: I'll bet I've heard it before You: ;) Stranger: i bet you have Stranger: if u go on this You: heh You: so what is it? Stranger: i would like to fuck you doggystyle on a converance table You: So let's do it on here You: *I walk into the room* You: Sir, the reports are done and everyone except us have left the building You: I'll go home now too You: OH wait, I forgot my blackberry in the CONFERENCE ROOM. You: *Leaves Stranger: *than i come behind you and start kissing on your neck* You: Oh, sir... you know I'm married... Stranger: yes i do but what he doesn't kno can't hurt him You: Oh, I suppose... You: I mean, there ARE plenty of things you don't know about me... You: Where my g-spot is... You: What my favorite position is... You: Where I like to be slapped around... You: That kind of thing. ;) Stranger: i cant find out if i dont try You: Damn straight You: So where are we starting? Stranger: where would you like to start You: Well, you presented the idea so you definitely have something going You: *Gets on knees and pushes you against wall* You: But first, let's have a little test run... You: *Unzips your business pants* Stranger: *than suck on my dick like you never have before* You: Okay then Stranger: *deep throat* You: *Reveals your manhood, already stiff and throbbing* You: *Licks the tip, teasing you a bit* Stranger: i like a little tease You: Goodie You: Because I like the tension too... You: *Puts lips around the head before digging my tongue a little into your hole* You: *Starts stroking your meatlog, slowly at first Stranger: would you look at me You: Hmm? Stranger: when you suck my dick You: Mmhmm You: *Looks up at you while flicking your head with my tongue* You: I put my free hand into my panties and start rubbing myself* Stranger: OHH yea Stranger: after i cum in your mouth You: Not yet tough guy You: *Removes mouth from head* You: You need to clean the back of my throat with your spunk, mister! Stranger: that wopnt be difficult Stranger: wont* You: *Starts taking the first half of your dick in my mouth* You: *Removes the hand stroking your cock and starts to twiddle your balls* Stranger: OMG Stranger: keep goin You: *Starts stroking your sack while I your cock goes deeper into my throat* You: *I think to myself "I wish he started ramming it already..."* Stranger: your wish will be my comand Stranger: command* You: *Feels your dick's head tickling the back of my throat* You: *Moans in delight over the sensation Stranger: keep moaning Stranger: i love that Stranger: take it deeper Stranger: deeper Stranger: is that wen i cum in your mouth Stranger: after i cum You: srry Stranger: first i'll take off your top You: came over hand You: had to wipe off You: lol You: *Your jizz travels down my throat as I ingest all I can* Stranger: sorry bout that for making a mess You: Mmm... You: what now? Stranger: so after u take my cum Stranger: i take off your top nd bra Stranger: nd rub ur tits Stranger: nd suck on them Stranger: than i start goin down to your belly You: Play with my tits... You: yes... Stranger: yes i love your tits Stranger: so beautiful You: mmm yeah... You: suck them, dry them up... You: and then give me a raise... Stranger: whatever you want baby Stranger: im here to pleasure you Stranger: :D Stranger: so after i play with your tits Stranger: i go to your belly Stranger: are you ticklish there? You: mmmm You: yes You: it tickles a LOT Stranger: so i'll stay there and watch you go crazy Stranger: i'll go you your panties You: ohhhh... You: so fucking good Stranger: and take them ohh slowly You: *And a 16 inch cock pops open Stranger: WTF You: *In your face* Stranger: FAG Your conversational partner has disconnected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intoner Two Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I lol'd, first at the fact people still use asl and then at the rest~ glad you enjoyed yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emeraldfox Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Oh come on. Cybering? Be more creative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 You're back, oh great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 Yeah, looks like you accidentally chose regular ban instead of banHAMMER. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find an excuse to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashGordon94 Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Gross. -_- I'm surprised Shuuda went so easy on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 Probably because I warned people. Shuuda might be seething right now that he can't ban me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Why didn't I just skip to the end? Sure it was funny at the end, but the oral sex thing gets on my nerves sometimes. Post something else, with a little less gay, and a little more win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Shuuda might be seething right now that he can't ban me. If he really wanted to he'd get VASM or Nice Truck to do it, you give yourself too much importance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolDeath Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Dude come on don't give RP any more ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fayt Zelpher Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Dude come on don't give RP any more ideas. Meh, It's not like I couldn't ask a mod if I thought things were really getting out of hand. You're just not worth wasting my time or the time of any of the mods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolDeath Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 I mean for you to traumatize little girls on Omegle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK-201 Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 (edited) Yeah, I'm a bit surprised at me ignoring you. It isn't worth clicking a button to see such a bad post despite it making me laugh. I'd rather not have to click on the view it anyways button as I already know what to expect while I scroll downwards and see your name. Ninja. =P Edited February 24, 2010 by BK201 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Oh come on. Cybering? Be more creative. Seriously, expected/10 on the cock at the end too. It'd be a lot better if you hint towards that but "turn out" to be a girl after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Probably because I warned people. Shuuda might be seething right now that he can't ban me. I hope you realise that you are only one offence away from a permanent banning, literally. I'm the lion, and you're the gazelle. I'm one step away from pouncing. It's a beautiful feeling, I assure you of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uguu Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 So how close am I to permanent ban. Or are you actually waiting until users have 100%? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuuda Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 You're a long way away. And yes, 100% results in permanent banning, especially so if said member has already been through two suspensions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny: spider bitten Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 IS he really that close to 100%, or has some moderator forgot to do his job and clear out the dated warnings? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted February 25, 2010 Author Share Posted February 25, 2010 IS he really that close to 100%, or has some moderator forgot to do his job and clear out the dated warnings? Mods here do their jobs like the Gestapo kept a fair and balanced legal system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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