ITT I Play FE7

[chococoke]

Yeah, keep the knight crest. There's really no use for it whatsoever except to screw over your funds.

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 10: The Distant Plains

Starting Units:

Lyndis, Sain, Kent, Florina, Rath, Dorcas, Wil, Serra, Erk, Lucius, Nils, Wallace

Sain: We...are almost...there.... Now...can...we...rest?

Kent: Not now.

Lyn: Finally! My mode is almost over; all we need to do now is seize that castle to the southwest and this mode is done.

Kent: Well, we do need to stop killing loser enemies and move on to bigger and better things.

Sain: And once we're done here, let's go to Hooters!

Kent: How about no. But we can go to Red Lobster.

Lyn: (to army)Thank you for your continued support. After this chapter's done, we can all take a break. But for now, let's reclaim my homeland!

Kent: For the knights of Caelin, I shall not fall back!

Sain: Let's go! For the dozens of lovely ladies back at the Playboy mansion!

Florina: I...I...I'm proud to serve in Lyn's posse! There's no turning back!

Wil: I'm likely going to get ignored... just like FE5 Ronan.

Dorcas: I'm only doing this for my wife.

Serra: Saint Elimine, may you make sure the posse wins the day!

Erk: I hope my red-hot ballz of fire can be of assistance. And I still hate Serra.

Rath: ...

Matt: I may be just a street rat, but let me handle the swag!

Lucius: As a man, I do not want to be called Sister Lucius again!

Nils: i do not want to be sent back to Guantanamo Bay, so please protect me.

Wallace: It's times like this I miss my glory days as a general of Caelin.

The first thing to note of this chapter is that it rains periodically. Your movement is downed when it's raining, non-nomad horses and armors having it really bad.

I moved my units east, speeding things up by having Nils push Wallace forward. Next turn, Erk and Lucius take out the archer and mage, respectively, while the rest of the posse struggles to keep up. On turn 2, the rains came. Lucius takes out another archer with Wallace's help(as I do not want Lucius eating a hit this early and I couldn't reach the archer's blind spot with anyone except Flo and Wally). After I got most of my units out of the shrubbery, the rain stopped. After Erk took out the merc and archer, Flo-Chan killed the shaman, then I sent Wallace forward to blockade.the spawning cavalier reinforcements. Erk visited the house for an energy ring, then it started raining again. As usual, I let Wallace tank the cavaliers, while letting the cavs and Erk nab a few kills. Once I got toward the castle, I let Rath kill the knight, then started to take on Lundgren. It should also be noted that I used the angle robe on Lyn to make her not OHKO'd, and the Energy Drop to let her 4HKO Lundgren with the Mani Katti(after 3HP chip DMG).

Here are some of the conversations:

Lundgren: Hey you! Would you like to work for me?

Sain: ?!

Lundgren: C'mon, I'll give you a giant Playboy mansion with all the girls you can fit in!

Sain: ... That's not a bad idea, except that I already work for someone of good character, unlike you.

Lundgren: Damn, the bribery trick didn't work! Your damage is still pathetic.

Lundgren: Well, if it ain't the patriotic asshole, Kent!

Kent: You are wrong! You are the only asshole on this map. Prepare to die!

Lundgren: Yeah right! You do 0 DMG with anything except the armorslayer, which you only have 48 displayed with!

Lundgren: So you are Lyndis, the Goat Demon?

Lyn: And what if I am?

Lundgren: You can't defeat me! I OHKO you and you do shit damage in return!

Lyn: I can, after I use my Seraph robe and Energy Drop!

After Kent and Sain had their chats with the boss, I let Lyn get the kill here. Luckily, she managed to crit the douche, allowing her to kill him in one round.

Lyn: Allow me to pass!

Reissmann: No one sees the mighty marquess!

Lyn: It's urgent! I need to see my grandfather!

Reissmann: What a joke! The marquess is ill right now. Maybe another time, ok?

Hausen: Who...is...it?

Reissmann: (looking the other way) Um, sir. There is someone that looks like Lady Madelyn outside.

Hausen: Let her...pass!

Inside...

Hausen: Finally, you ...arrived. I ...thought ...you were ...dead!

Lyn: Sorry to keep you waiting.

Hausen: Where the hell... is Madelyn?

Lyn: She was abducted a year ago.

Hausen: Well, that's too damn bad, is it?

Lyn: How much pufferfish did you eat?

Hausen: I ate too much...and the bastard mixed its poison in with my beer.

Lyn: Maybe we can still save you! But first, let me tell you of my background...

Later....

Sain: Well, a long journey like this deserves a happy ending, amirite?

Lyn: After all that...we do need a rest. Say, how's my grandfather?

Kent: The doctor came in today. He says that our lord will make a full recovery.

Lyn: That's a relief.

Florina: I would like to offer my services in the Caelin army. Is that alright, Lyn?

Lyn: Sure. It doesn't make a difference whether you stay or leave, but I'd prefer if you stayed.

Florina: Thanks, Lyn!

Wil: Hey, boss! I'm going to also stay and work for you.

Lyn: The more the merrier!

All: (laughs)

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Lyn 		01  11  31  10  13  16  10  05  02  05   
Kent 		01  07  25  09  10  10  02  08  04  09  
Sain 		01  07  25  13  06  09  06  07  00  09  
Florina   	01  05  20  07  08  12  08  06  07  04   
Wil      	01  03  20  07  06  05  07  06  00  06   
Dorcas    	01  04  31  08  07  06  03  03  00  14  
Serra      	01  04  20  04  05  09  07  03  07  04	
Erk   		01  05  20  07  08  09  05  03  05  05	
Matthew   	01  04  20  05  05  12  03  03  00  07   
Rath    	01  10  27  10  11  13  07  08  02  08	
Lucius   	01  06  19  09  07  13  03  02  08  06	
Nils 		01  07  18  00  00  17  16  07  08  03   
Wallace   	01  13  31  13  07  05  10  16  02  13   

It should be noted that Lyn used both stat boosters. I needed to in order for her to take out Lundgren virtually on her own.

Swag: Energy drop

[Smiley Jim]

My overview on each of my units(or at least the ones I care about):

Lyn: She's about average overall; the only stats she's blessed in is speed and defense. I used a drop and a robe to patch up any HP/str issues she may have in Hector mode, but do note that she is near her HP/str average otherwise.

Kent: He's balanced. Str/skl/def are above average and everything else is about average except luck, which he's screwed by 1.2 points.

Sain: Overall, he's HP/str/spd blessed and average everywhere else. Like Kent, nothing short of being a good unit.

Flo-Chan: She's blessed overall. She is screwed one point in skl/lck, but it's not like -3 hit is going to make a difference since enemy Avoid just sucks.

Erk: It's nice to see how he's about average in all his stats, which makes me somewhat happy. My last Erk was a fat sack of crap, so I was obliged to use Pent.

Serra: She's about average. Only her HP/def is really above average.

Matt: He only gained two levels, so I really can't assess how good he actually is.

Rath: All I can say is that he's fairly blessed. 13 speed is very good, as is 10 str. I'm likely to use him over Becky in Hector mode.

Lucius: He's speed blessed. 13 speed on a trap isn't bad at all. 9mag/8res don't hurt either.

Nils: Only reason he's Lv7 is because I want to access 19xx. And I'm a perfectionist.

I don't care about the others since Wil Shatner and Dork-ass just plain suck, and Wallace can't stand to Osw1n(and to hell am I going to Lloyd's version of FFO.)

Edited December 18, 2010 by DA125

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 11: Another Journey

Starting Units:

Hector, Matthew

Hector: Brother! Where the hell are ye?!

Oswin: Will you shut up already?

Hector: OK, crybaby!

In the throne room...

Uther: WHAT IS IT?!

Hector: I heard dat Marquess Pherae has disappeared about 4 months ago!

Uther: Ostia will not move! What happens in Pherae is none of my concern, so shut up!

Hector: But this is Eli's father were talking about! An' I'm sure Marquess Laus was behind it! We should barge inta his castle and demand an explanation!

Uther: That's stupid! An invasion is the worst thing you can do! Lurk moar, mah boi!

Hector: OK then! Be de passive pussy ye are and sit yer ass on the throne! Sit on it until the seat breaks under the weight of yer armor! I'm goin' it alone!

Oswin: Hector! Get back here!

Uther: Let him be! I'd like to see the imp try!

Outside the throne room...

Hector: Where's that fuckin' street rat when ye need him?!

Matt: (jumps from ceiling) Here I am!

Hector: I have found ye, street rat!

Matt: I AM good at hiding. I AM a thief, no?

Hector: Whatever... Now git'ta work! I want my Wolf Beil axe brought to me NOW!

Matt: Consider it done. And I'll tell the pawns guarding the doorway that you are taking a piss.

Hector: Ye'd better. Or do I hav'ta send ya back to the dungeon, street rat?

Matt: OK, OK, I'm going!

Hector: Hehe. Loser. ?!! Wait, who goes there?!

Pawn: ...

Hector: A random foo'! Let's kill the fucker and git it over with! (crits soldier)

Matt: Hey I got your- ?!? HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT!

Hector: What?

Matt: I'm too young to die!

Hector: Anyway! Let's leave!

Matt: I also wanted to tell you that there are several guys waiting outside. And since there's only two of us, we'll have to work together. Your doing most of the work though, since my str and def are garbage.

Hector: Whatever...

Your first Hector Mode chapter. Note that while I am playing HNM, anything I say will apply to HHM players. Anyway, just defeat the turd named Wire to win. This chapter is easily pathetic.

Hector and Matt started by breaking the wall open. Next turn, Hector and Matt started their work on the enemies(the soldier was killed instantly and the archer died the next turn after). Matt nabbed the red gem, while Hector destroyed the knight. The two loldiers and archers tried to attack Hector, but they couldn't attack him directly since one of the archers went in front of our lord. I used this time to get rid of the two loldiers, as well as weaken the two archers for Matt. After that charade, I made my way toward the boss. I let Matt chip the archer on the other side of the doorway before letting Hector kill the boss.

Matt: Well, that was a good one! We need to do this more often.

Hector: Who the fuckin' hell were those guys?

Matt: Mercenaries, most likely. The fact of the matter is that they weren't coming out unless you were alone.

Hector: Let's go find Eli. Oh, an' ye are workin' fer me now!

Matt: Do I have to?

Hector: Yes. Now move, street rat!

Inside the throne room...

Pawn: Your brother ran off! Should we go and get him?

Uther: No.

Pawn: We'll...go now.

Uther: Go and do that(starts coughing and wheezing)

Oswin: Are you ok, my lord? Do you need your inhaler?

Uther: I think I'll be fine... Stupid motherfucking asthma is killing me...

Oswin: You really need to see a doctor.

Uther: And, please go after Hector. I fear he will go out and destroy himself.

Oswin: I will do that. Serra, get over here!

Serra: (cries like a big baby)

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Hector    	01  04  22  09  06  05  03  11  00  13 	
Matthew   	01  05  20  06  06  13  05  04  00  07   

Swag: Vulnerary(x2), Red gem

Edited January 1, 2011 by DA125

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 12: Birds of a Feather

Starting Units:

Hector, Eliwood, Oswin, Matt, Serra, Marcus, Lowen, Becky, Dorcas, Bartre

Matt: From what I gather, Eli is currently on his way to Santaruz.

Hector: Good. Once we meet up, we'll stop at Taco Bell fer a quick burrito.

Serra: There you are, Sir Hector!

Matt: Um, I'm not staying here with this bitch around! Bye! (leaves)

Hector: Serra! Didn' I tell ya? No whiny little girls on this country ride!

Serra: C'mon Hector! I really want to see Eli! Teehee! And Oswin said that I could come!

Hector: Oswin?!

Oswin: I came here to make sure you don't become an hero. And because I'm a total tank. My 28HP/13Def isn't just for show!

Hector: I understand...

Matt: Sorry to interrupt, but I see fighting ahead!

Hector: O RLY? Oswin an' Matt, come!

At the battlefield..

Hector: Where is Eliwood?

Peon: Please! I have a wife and 7 kids at home! I don't wanna die!

Hector: Too fuckin' bad! (kills the pawn)

Serra: That's sick! I abhor violence!

Matt: Nicely done! You could become the next coming of Sigurd! Well, except you'd need a horse and a silver sword.

Oswin: That...was unnecessary...

Hector: Whatever. Right now, we need'ta git through this mess. Oswin, to the front lines! Street rat an' Serra in the back!

Also not exceedingly difficult. The only difference between HM and EM is that there are pegasus knights near Eli's starting location. Also, remember not to overuse Marcus in the beginning. He'll eat up all the CEXP, but he's great for weakening things.

Since I did not want to waste Hector's Wolf Beil(and Hec was already at a good level), I let Oswin get the kill on the bandit(Matt and Serra hide in the shrubbery). Marcus hands Eli his iron sword and heads for the house, while Lowen sits his ass on the fort. After some uneventful events, I took out one of the pegs with Oswin and the archer with Hector. As for the enemies to the south, I let Bartre and Eli get cheap experience. Next turn, Matt kills the merc, and Oswin takes out a peg and I prepare Lowen to lure another one, but they just go for Matt instead. After Oswin and Hector took out the pegs, I then take out the hand axe bandit. As for the boss, I lured him away from the shrubbery, then chipped him down before killing him with Eli, but not before buying extra stuff at the armory.

Hector: Is that all of 'em?

Eli: Hector? What are ye doing here?

Hector: Savin' my failure of a friend, of course!

Eli: Well, my stats DO kind of suck.

Hector: Anyway, my brother was named marquess. He let me go on my little errand.

Eli: Isn't that nice of him?

Hector: Yeah... Oh, and Oswin is here. He's taggin' along fer... security reasons.

Oswin: Well met, Lord Eli.

Hector: He's here because my brother asked him to.

Eli: Hehe. Good to see you again.

Serra: Is the fighting finally over?

Matt: Get...back...here...now!

Hector: The loud-mouthed bitch is Serra. She's a rather... useful cleric. An' the street rat is Matt. He's, well, a street rat.

Eli: Well, if I can bear with it...

Hector: This quest yer embarkin' on... I doubt ye'll survive on yer own. Well, at least not without arena abuse. And even then, ye'll end up RNG screwed.

Marcus: Lord Eli, may I have a word.

Hector: Eli, why'd ya have ter bring HIM along? I heard tales on GFAQs 'bout him suckin'!

Marcus: Well, I'm not exactly a Jeigan. I'm more of an Oifey. I think you were talking about my FE6 self.

Hector: Anyway, a knight of Santaruz was watchin' when we arrived. He jus' sat there while a noble was bein' attacked! I think he was plannin' on seein' ye get pwned. We'll talk more when we git ter Taco Bell.

At Taco Bell...

Eli: This is DA. He's working for us as a tactician. We need him to help us find Father!

Me: Hello, Sir Hector.

Hector: I didn't know that one so young could become a tactician. Are ye sure he's qualified?

Me: Of course I'm qualified!

Eli: He said it himself! He may be a novice, but he's helped a friend of mine win battle after battle.

Hector: Well, I'll git the chance teh evaluate ye. Well met, DA.

Matt: Hi DA! We meet again!

Me: Hey Matt! I heard you worked as a spy for Ostia?

Matt: And I thought my ruse as a street rat worked. Still, the boss calls me a street rat.

Me: Don't let it get to you. Your still a boon to the force.

Matt: Thanks for the complement, DA.

Serra: Teehee! DA! It's been far to long! Did you miss me?!

Me: Get away from me!

Serra: I know deep down that you wanted to see me again.

Me: Absolutely not.

Serra: BTW, I work for Hector. Which means you'll be seeing me again! Teehee! Aren't you lucky?!

Me: I think my ears are going to implode…

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Hector    	01  04  22  09  06  05  03  11  00  13 	
Eliwood   	01  02  19  06  05  08  07  05  00  07   
Oswin 		01  10  29  14  09  06  03  14  03  14   
Matthew   	01  05  21  07  06  13  06  04  00  07   
Serra      	01  04  20  04  05  09  07  03  07  04 	
Marcus    	02  01  31  15  15  11  08  10  08  11   
Lowen 		01  02  23  07  05  07  03  07  00  08	
Dorcas    	01  04  31  08  07  06  03  03  00  14
Bartre    	01  03  30  10  06  04  04  04  00  13   
Rebecca  	01  01  18  04  05  06  04  03  01  05

Swag: Secret book

Edited January 6, 2011 by DA125

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 13: In Search of Truth

Starting Units:

Hector, Eliwood, Oswin, Matt, Serra, Marcus, Lowen, Becky, Dorcas, Bartre

New Units:

Guy

At Castle Santaruz...

Helman: What is the meaning of this?

Ephidel: Do you have a problem with how I operate?

Helman: If you are going to spend your cash on sending thugs to kill Eli, then I break my contract with you! Get out of my sight!

Ephidel: Do you know what happens to oath breakers? I'll give you a hint.

Helman: I'd rather die than let Eli get killed by your well-paid forces!

Ephidel: In that case... (uses ninja skillz and stabs Helman from behind)

Outside...

Eli: There's the castle! All we need to do now is- YIPE!

Boies: Your not going anywhere, little boi! Now prepare to become shish-ka-bob!

Hector: O RLY? Who the hell do ye think ye are? Oh wait; do I care what a carcass is called? Anyway, yer a dead man!

Boies: You think your bite is worse than your bark? Come and try me, boi!

Hector: We'll see 'bout that!

Inside the fort...

Guy: Why did I start working for these guys?

Peon: Hey! New kid! Hurry up and get outside!

Guy: If I didn't need money, I wouldn't be here. But you need cash to eat, no? I hope Matt comes to save my ass.

Peon: Hey! We're dying of old age here! Get a move on!

Guy: Coming!

This chapter is also not hard. Remember to visit the village on the NW edge of the map. Also, you can recruit the myrmidon with the killing edge. Just talk to him with Matt.

I moved all my units east, except Bartre and Dorcas, who went to break the snag. I let Becky chip the brigand, and had Lowen and Marcus rescue drop Oswin closer to the front line. Next turn, Oswin and Hector destroy the two archers, while Matt takes out the brigand. Bartre kills the peg, while Dorcas breaks the bridge down. While nothing eventful happens on T3, on T4, Eli and Marcus visit the villages for a mine and a torch, respectively. On the EP, Oswin weakens 4 enemies, killing one, then getting a free level next turn. Lowen and Hector also take part in the bounty. After several goons attack Lowen, and Matt got mauled by an archer, Matt had his chat with Guy. Here's the convo(with an idea I got from PaperBlade's FE7 playthrough):

Matt: Have we met before, beautiful?

Guy: Yes, we have~

Matt: It's been a long time, man-whore.

Guy: It's not what you think! I've been working for these guys for 2 weeks now.

Matt: So you are still interested in going out with me again?

Guy: Uh....

Matt: I know how Sacaeans are as honest as George Washington. Tell the truth.

Guy: Yes. We should get back together, and I would also like to shag tonight.

Matt: That's my boy. Now give me some lovin' after this is done.

Guy: Thanks for nothing, asswipe.

Note that I won't do anything like this again.

Anyway, Bartre took out the weakened archer, Hector removes the soldier, and Becky kills an archer while Guy fails to kill his. After Guy kills what he started, Becky weans down another archer for Guy to kill on the PP, then Bartre kills the pegasus knight. Hector and Eliwood then kill the cavaliers guarding the gate. As for Boies, after I had Oswin peck at him for two rounds, I let Hector get the kill. After i bought some extra items, I seized.

Eli: Lord Helman! What happened?

Helman: My apologies for what has happened. It was... the Black Fang's doing... not I.

Eli: Don't overexert yourself. We'll get Serra in here to heal you.

Helman: It's...too late...for me... Listen carefully... Eli... your father... if I hadn't told him... about Darin's plans... then this... may not have... happened. Go...to Laus. Darin... the marquess of Laus ...knows all... Beware... the Black Fang... Eli. They... want... you.....

Eli: Wait. Didn't this happen before? Like, back in FE4 with Sigurd and King Batou?

Hector: (reads the FE4 translation book) Yeh, ye are right.

Hector: What is the next move, Eli?

Eli: We go to Laus. Darin knows more abut our 'situation' than us.

Hector: Well, that was me plan, too. But first, we need'ta deal with the matter at hand.

Steward: May we help you?

Eli: I see you are the steward of Santaruz.

Steward: With our lord gone, what do we do?

Hector: First, make sure he's properly buried. Then, ye'll hav'ta wait fer the Lycia Council's word.

Steward: It will be done.

Eli: Lord Helman, may you find eternal peace...

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Hector    	01  06  24  10  06  07  03  12  02  13 	
Eliwood   	01  02  19  06  05  08  07  05  00  07   
Oswin 		01  11  30  14  09  06  04  15  03  14   
Matthew   	01  06  21  07  06  13  06  04  00  07   
Serra      	01  04  20  04  05  09  07  03  07  04 	
Marcus    	02  01  31  15  15  11  08  10  08  11   
Lowen 		01  03  24  07  05  07  03  08  01  08	
Dorcas    	01  04  31  08  07  06  03  03  00  14
Bartre    	01  04  31  11  06  04  05  05  00  13   
Rebecca  	01  02  18  05  05  07  04  03  01  05   
Guy   		01  03  21  06  11  11  05  05  00  05

Swag: Mine, Torch, Killing edge

Edited January 1, 2011 by DA125

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 13x: The Peddler Merlinus

Starting Units:

Hector, Eliwood, Oswin, Matt, Serra, Marcus, Lowen, Becky, Dorcas, Bartre, Guy

Hector: Bah! We've been goin' on fer hours. Can we take a rest?

Eli: Well, it is 11pm. We do need a rest. Let's park here for the night. Marcus, get the camp ready.

Marcus: Yes, sir.

Hector: Why are we in Caelin? Shouldn't we present ourselves ter Lord Hausen?

Eli: That's unnecessary. We're just passing through. I wonder how Lyn is doing?

Hector: Ye mean the little girl that dealt with Lundgren last year? Didn't ye have sumthin' ter do with it, loverboi?

Eli: What?

Hector: I know ye have a crush when I see it.

Eli: You are pissing me off, Hec. Wait, did I hear screaming?

Hector: Yea I did. Well, It's nuthin' ter cry wolf over. I'm goin' ter bed.

Eli: No. We are helping.

Hector: Dammit.

Outside...

Puzon: Now let's see you drop them pants.

Merlinus: Drop?

Puzon: Just take 'em right off.

Merlinus: What do you guys want?

Peon: Don't say anything, just do it.

Merlinus: (takes off pants)

Peon: Now pull off that little bit shirt there too!

Merlinus: (takes off shirt)

Puzon: Them panties. Take 'em off.

Hector: Sey another werd an' I'll knock yer banana face off.

Puzon: Look buddy! I wasn't going to make him squeal like a pig! Seriously!

Hector: Do I look like I'm gonna believe that? Think again, nerd!

Puzon: If I can't rape the city man in peace, I'll call my friends to shut up any intruders! Come out, my minions!

Hector: Right... Alright, porky. Git yer clothes back on before I puke...

Another Fog of War map. Also, you need to protect the fat peddler for 7 turns. Not hard if you have Oswin or someone like it pick him up.

Oswin picks up Merlinus. I send Guy east, while Bartre takes out the archer and Lowen kills the myrm. Marcus then rushes over toward the village. On the EP, Marcus gobbles up CEXP after KOing a bandit. Lowen and Hector also wean down a merc and a brigand. Next turn, Bartre and Lowen take out the trash, then Oswin and Hector move up, after Dorcas picks up the peddler. After the faggots broke the snags keeping Puzon away from us, I formed a wall with Oswin, Hector, and Lowen. Matt and Bartre then dealt with the guys to the west of our starting position. Turn 4, my walling party took out the nomad and myrmidon squad that came from the NM corner of the map. Guy continued soloing the SE corner of the map. Eventually, Puzon came out and attacked Oswin...for only 1 DMG. Lowen gets the boss kill. As for the remaining enemies, Oswin mopped up the guys parked on the NW forts, while Guy took out the two nomads.

Eli: Are you ok, sir?

Merlinus: I am now, thanks to you two gentlemen.

Eli: No injuries or anything, either. Dorcas did a good job of carrying you.

Merlinus: If you'd like, I can be of help.

Hector: We have no need of a fat peddler like yerself, so beat it, fatass!

Eli: Hector, watch your language!

Hector: Oh, shut the fuck up!

Eli: Never mind what Hector says. He's just rude to people, especially to people he doesn't know.

Merlinus: Oh, sorry. Anyway, I am Merlinus, a merchant whose vast stores of goods defy the gods. My, er, skillz with item management are peerless!

Eli: And I'm Eliwood, son of Marquess Pherae. And we've discussed Hector already.

Merlinus: Oh! To be saved by men of noble houses! How I could weep for hours!

Eli: Anyway, it isn't safe for a merchant like yourself to be alone. Why don't you start working for us?

Hector: It's the least ye kin do ter repay us fer savin' yer hairy ass from bein' raped by diseased redneck dick.

Merlinus: I will oblige. It's the least I can do to repay you for saving me from having to squeal like a pregnant sow.

Hector: If ye'll excuse me, here is me axe and me armor. I'm off'ta bed. Good nite.

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Hector    	01  07  25  11  06  08  03  12  02  13 	
Eliwood   	01  03  20  07  06  08  08  05  01  07   
Oswin 		01  12  31  15  09  07  04  16  04  14   
Matthew   	01  06  21  07  06  13  06  04  00  07   
Serra      	01  05  21  05  05  09  08  03  08  04 	
Marcus    	02  01  31  15  15  11  08  10  08  11   
Lowen 		01  05  26  08  05  07  05  09  01  08	
Dorcas    	01  04  31  08  07  06  03  03  00  14
Bartre    	01  05  32  11  06  05  05  06  01  13   
Rebecca  	01  02  18  05  05  07  04  03  01  05   
Guy   		01  06  24  08  11  13  07  06  00  05

Wow. Guy is actually deciding to be decent for once. I actually tried to use him in my last PT, but he failed to proc str for 6 levels straight. I might actually use him over Rave if he continues to get str blessed, or at least stay just ahead of his average. That isn't saying much given his competition(Raven)is simply a better unit assuming averages, and the fact that a certain hero that I get in PFoD is basically laughing at Guy's puny str average forever. Also, Lowen is turning out better than he did on my last PT, though he hasn't procced skl or spd yet. I think it's the hair.

Swag: 5000G

Edited January 4, 2011 by DA125

[Parrhesia]

Wow. Guy is actually deciding to be decent for once. I actually tried to use him in my last PT, but he failed to proc str for 6 levels straight. I might actually use him over Rave if he continues to get str blessed, or at least stay just ahead of his average. That isn't saying much given his competition(Raven)is simply a better unit assuming averages, and the fact that a certain hero that I get in PFoD is basically laughing at Guy's puny str average forever.

Who says you can't use Guy as well as Raven? Well...Bartre. Who I voted for. But if you decide to go for Dart...

[Smiley Jim]

Who says you can't use Guy as well as Raven?

I already have like 12 units on my planned team, not including the lords. Adding any more would cause problems towards balancing my CEXP gain. And I'd like to have only one dedicated sword user. Whether Guy will continue to co-operate will be decided by fate...

My planned party:

Oswin

Raven/Guy

Bartre/Dart

Rath

Kent/Lowen/Sain

Florina/Heath

Canas

Lucius

Erk/Pent

Serra

Pris

Ninian

Note that any names with slashes means I will only use one.

Edited December 20, 2010 by DA125

[Junkhead]

Barf-tray and Sain.

Barf-tray's avaibility and ability to actually HIT things by the end.

[dondon151]

Raven is more of an axe user.

[Junkhead]

What is he holding in his hand?

[Venusaur]

With Dart, mountain walking can be very beneficial in Unfulfilled Heart, allowing you to access the shop with the Killer weapons with a flier. Rath will more than fill your bow needs, and if you want more just use Geitz.

And between Guy and Raven, I'd choose Raven, due to actually having STR and 2-range with Hand Axes, even though he'll lose a tiny bit of SPD. Plus his better CON will allow you to use the heavier swords without many problems.

Lucius and Serra are both unneccessary, Serra more than Lucius. Pent can fill a offensive role and heal more than well enough, and Priscilla is already better than Serra will ever be, due to the fact that Anima > Light. You don't need 5 staff users.

Edited December 22, 2010 by ultimateluigi987

[Junkhead]

With Dart, mountain walking can be very beneficial in Kinship's Bond, allowing you to access the shop with the Killer weapons. Rath will more than fill your bow needs, and if you want more just use Geitz.

Flying. That is all. Because I would rather not take a million turns in that chapter. Oh, and Rath actually sucks because of a ralatively low level, unless DA12 doesn't really care about turn-counts.

[Thor Odinson]

Pent over Erk go.

I like Lucius anyway, and he supports Raven. And RavenxLucius as a support pairing is pretty delicious.

[Parrhesia]

What is he holding in his hand?

A shield, which is from the hero class, whose best melee option is axes.

And that's a really awkward pose.

And Kent isn't fast. He's only got a point and 5% on Sain. His wins are in Skill and I believe Defence. Sure, Lowen crushes him in defence, but Kent crushes him in Spee- but I digress.

Edited December 21, 2010 by Grimsworth of Natal

[Thor Odinson]

Well, Raven has the sword rank for silvers, though, for extra damage when he needs it (boss shots, high-def, etc). Hand Axes are great weapons, though. He can use them upon promotion IIRC.

[Parrhesia]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Hand and Steel axes are E rank for some reason...and I'm pretty sure Heroes get auto-Ds anyway.

[Junkhead]

A shield, which is from the hero class, whose best melee option is axes.

And that's a really awkward pose.

And Kent isn't fast. He's only got a point and 5% on Sain. His wins are in Skill and I believe Defence. Sure, Lowen crushes him in defence, but Kent crushes him in Spee- but I digress.

His other hand.

@Bolded: His Def will only turn out turn out +1 over Sain's at 20/20. Meanwhile, Sain is having a better base and only -5% Def growth.

And Steel and Hand axes are E ranks. And Heroes get E ranks in axes at base.

[Parrhesia]

His other hand.

@Bolded: His Def will only turn out turn out +1 over Sain's at 20/20. Meanwhile, Sain is having a better base and only -5% Def growth.

And Steel and Hand axes are E ranks. And Heroes get E ranks in axes at base.

One of the two weapons used by Heroes. The other option is to use axes, which are the better option most of the time.

My point stands. Kent's not that fast compared to Sain. Sain is that strong compared to the other two, 'though...

Then my argument stands. Your point?

[Junkhead]

That Kent's Def hardly even makes a difference to call it a "lead". Well, you are right. But that would also include him having a Spd lead, even if insignificant.

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 14: False Friends

Starting Units:

Hector, Eliwood, Oswin, Matt, Serra, Marcus, Lowen, Becky, Dorcas, Bartre, Guy

New Units:

Erk, Priscilla

Darin: Ah Christ, Eli's gonna be here soon! How the fuck did they get here so fast?!

Ephidel: They must have heard something from Helman. He was likely clinging to life when Eli got to him.

Darin: You've got to be joking, right?!

Ephidel: Look on the bright side. Eli's extremely weak and ill-fitted to fight anything. If anyone can stop him, it's you.

Darin: Why didn't I think of that?! Well, he's not getting anywhere without Ostia's help, but if Uther got involved, that WOULD be a problem! Erik!

Erik: Yes, father?

Darin: Get your finest troops outside and stop the enemy army!

Ephidel: Are you sure he's up to the challenge? He's young and inexperienced. Can you trust your son to destroy the opposing army before more of them show up?

Darin: Nah, I'm sure Erik will be fine. (to Erik) Make your father proud, son!!

Erik: Can do!

Outside...

Hector: Look outside! Them people at Laus are preparin' fer battle.

Eli: You go ahead, Hector. I'd rather stay here.

Hector: So what? Sure, if we go in now, we'll hav'ta go'ta war. It's not like it's that bad.

Eli: I not too worried if all I see are red units. If I pictured innocent green units caught up in our war mongering...It just gives me the chills.

Hector: It's not like I give a rat's shit, Eli. If Darin wants war, I'll give him a war he won't soon ferget. I'll go out an' survey the ol' surroundings, then.

5 minutes later...

Hector: Ye know sumthin' Oswin?

Oswin: Look at how varied and fertile Laus is. A perfect hiding ground for soldiers.

Hector: Ye didn't hav'ta tell me that! It's not like I don' know 'bout the terrain here.

Oswin: Anyway, you should try not to distract yourself. That leads only to the path of death.

Hector: Yes, mother.

Oswin: ?!

Meanwhile...

Erik: Hey, nerds!

Eli: Hello, Erik.

Erik: I heard you were going to Ostia to see your 'good friend' Hector.

Hector: Why would ye think of that?

Erik: I never understood why you two are such good friends. I mean, look at yourself, Hector. Have you seen how crude your manners are? And the way you speak, it reminds me of Hagrid. I thought at first you were a street rat dressed in noblemen's clothing.

Hector: Oh yea. If ye are such good friends with us, then why de yeh have a cavalry regiment waitin' fer us?

Erik: Oh, YOU TWO ARE DEAD MEN! PREPARE FOR BATTLE! PREPARE TO DIE!

Eli: Now look where you got us, Hector!

Hector: Well, he was a pussy anyway.

This chapter doesn't play too differently from it's FE6 variant, the only differences being that move-fucking rain periodically pours down, and that Erik moves. Don't worry, he's easier than he was in FE6 due to Hector's presence. Also, be thankful that you don't have to deal with any Nabarl archetype characters(trust me, Rutgar could kill anybody I had with a crit except Bors and Marcus.) Note that this chapter has a lot of convo, so be prepared.

Erk: Hey, aren't you going to help us?

Pawn: We would, but we civilians don't fight. Your on your own.

Erk: Alright then. I'll go out on my own because no one is willing to help out.

In the other village...

Pawn: Little girl, where is that guy that was supposed to guard you?

Pris: I sent him to deal with Marquess Laus. I don't know what the hell is wrong with him, not letting me leave.

Pawn: We've tried, but there's nothing we NPC's can do. We have like 10 HP and 0's across the board.

Pris: Looks like I'll have to wait it out

I sent Lowen out to kill the first loldier, then had Bartre take out the loldiers near the tent. Oswin and several others went out to intercept the main force. Next turn, Hector and Oswin deal with the archer and one of the loldiers(Matt took out the other one), while I sent Marcus towards the village with Priscilla. Next turn, Serra finally got to Erk. Here was the convo:

Serra: Oh my GOD! It's you, Erk!

Erk: Get away from me!

Serra: Don't be so cold. Teehee! You should start working for us! I'll even introduce you to Mr. Hector!

Erk: Know that I still hate you. Now get away from me.

After that, I had Erk visit the village, had Lowen grab Serra, then move off. Marcus reached Priscilla's village by turn 4. Here is the convo:

Pris: Please leave! If you are one of Lord Darin's pimps, then you can simply fuck off! Oh wait! You are not one of them! I know that because you are Marcus, the Jeigan of this game!

Marcus: I'm an Oifey, to be more specific. You must be referring to my older FE6 self. I'm arguably worse in that game, but I'm much more needed there.

Pris: Whatever. Anyway, I'm your sole mounted staff user. Please put me under your protection, Mr. Marcus.

Oswin killed one of Erik's many cavaliers, then Hector tried his luck with one of the nomads. Then the rains started. Back inside the castle...

Erik: Damn! Where are my reinforcements! We are losing pawns, fast!

Peon: I'll go tell Darin that...

Erik: You'd better!

Inside...

Darin: What? The Lycia army is stronger than I imagined? Well, what are you waiting for?

Ephidel: Sorry old chap. I need to leave! I believe you fucked up.

Darin: Please don't leave! Not now that I've gotten this far!

Ephidel: Well, you could come to Valor and start working for us. However, this means your son is on his own. He fucked up too much.

Darin: I'll leave enough soldiers to last him about several weeks, then I'll pack up.

Ephidel: OK. I'll arrange for a flight. Me? I don't need to fly. Who needs flight when I have my ninja skillz!

Hector took out the nomad with his Wolf Beil, while Bartre dealt the same to a bandit. Meanwhile, Dorcas was taking out pegasus knights. After Hector took out the two cavaliers, Erik slowly got into range. I let Oswin get the boss kill here. Hector and Eliwood mop up the remaining enemies.

Erik: What...I'm lying in a pool of my own blood! Is this how you treat your own kin?

Hector: And ye'll be goin'ter the afterlife soon enough! Prepare to die!

Eli: Wait. I want to talk to him (to Erik) Alright, you little bastard. Tell me where your father is!

Eik: I'll tell you when hell freezes to 0 degrees Kelvin!

Hector: Ye'd better start talkin' if ye care 'bout livin'.

Erik: He left with the ninja druid about 20 minutes ago... Ever since Dad met that scary motherfucker, all he's been thinking about doing was trying to rebel against Ostia.

Eli: What?

Erik: There's more. I heard that the marquesses of Pherae and Caelin were also conspiring to rebel against Ostia.

Hector: Hold it! Ye say dat Eli's father wanted to help your father?

Eli: And Lyn's grandfather, too?

Hector: Now that is a joke.

Erik: Even as we speak, your father is being held at Valor, the dread isle.

Eli: You son of a bitch!

Hector: Hey, I have an idea. Let's behead the son o' a bitch an' play sum football with his head!

Eli: My idea is better. Erik, I'll let you live for the time being. You need medical attention, quickly.

Later...

Oswin: I don't believe we should work for Eli anymore.

Hector: What the hell are ye talkin' 'bout?

Oswin: All I'm saying is-

Hector: Shut up! I doubt Elbert would even take part in a rebellion!

Oswin: OK, I understand.

Hector: We need'ta git'te the Dread Isle, but how?

Oswin: I shall join you in your conquest. Mostly because I'm awesome.

Outside...

Hector: Change o' plans. We need ter get ter the Dread Isle. However, we don' own a boat, so we are goin' ter have' ter hire guys who do.

Eli: While we're at it, we should pick up Lyndis. You haven't seen her yet. You'll like her.

Hector: Why can' we go just the two of us? We don' need anymore failure than we already have. Besides, with just you, me and Ozzy, we kin destroy anythin'.

Eli: How about we stop at Caelin, pick up Lyn and Flo-Chan, then call it a day.

Hector: (to himself)Typical shitty FE lord, always havin' ter do the right thing ter do. At least I'm o' a higher caliber.

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Hector    	01  08  26  12  07  09  03  12  02  13 	
Eliwood   	01  03  20  07  06  08  08  05  01  07   
Oswin 		01  14  33  17  10  07  05  17  04  14   
Matthew   	01  07  22  08  07  14  07  04  00  07   
Serra      	01  05  21  05  05  09  08  03  08  04 	
Marcus    	02  01  31  15  15  11  08  10  08  11   
Lowen 		01  05  26  08  05  07  05  09  01  08	
Dorcas    	01  04  32  08  07  06  04  03  00  14
Bartre    	01  06  33  12  07  06  05  06  01  13   
Rebecca  	01  02  18  05  05  07  04  03  01  05   
Guy   		01  06  24  08  11  13  07  06  00  05
Erk   		01  05  20  07  08  09  05  03  05  05   
Priscilla 	01  03  16  06  06  08  07  03  06  14

Swag: Goddess icon, Iron blade, Silver lance

Edited January 1, 2011 by DA125

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 15: Talons Alight

Starting Units:

Hector, Eliwood, Oswin, Matt, Lowen, Priscilla, Guy, Bartre, Erk

Oswin: Enemy units at 1800h! Hector, what are your orders?

Hector: Is it Darin? I'll assume he's here ter take back the castle.

Oswin: No. Those aren't army regulars! They are likely mercenaries.

Hector: Mercenaries?

Oswin: And they are good ones, too.

Eli: I know these guys! They are a band of mercenaries working for Laus. Led by a man named Eubans. He's known for launching fast surprise attacks!

Hector: In that case, let no one git inta this room! Don' let the throne be taken.

Outside...

Heath: Alright noob. Here are your orders.

Sealen: Get into the castle, and get the throne.

Heath: Don't fuck up. Or do you want your ugly face planted on my lance?

Sealen: I don't need some pussy to tell me what to do. Especially you, Mr. Heath.

Heath: Just do your job, and I'll get back to you in about 24 hours time.

Sealen: I don't need this crap. After this is done, Mr. Heath, you are a dead man.

Defend map, and your first Hector-exclusive map(not counting ANJ). All you have to do is keep the throne protected for 7 turns. Unfortunately, you can't speed things up by defeating the boss like you can in Radiant Dawn.

Turn 1: I send Hector toward the northeast doorway. Oswin goes down and takes out the javelin!soldier. Bartre goes along with him. As for my eastern group, I send Matt, Owen, and Eli west.

EP: The armor knight attacks Matt, Eli gets hit by an archer, and Guy almost kills a soldier. Hector takes out a mage.

Turn 2: Oswin takes out the thief, Eli kills the loldier, and Erk destroys the armor knight. Bartre weakens an archer.

EP: The same archer attacks Eli. A mage attacks Lowen.

Turn 3: Lowen takes out the archer, and Oswin removes the mage. Matt unlocks the chest room while Guy moves back towards the west gate.

EP: Sealen attacks Bartre, while some douche cracks the wall to the west.

Turn 4: Oswin kills the myrm, and I form a barricade protecting Erk. Hector chips the nomad. Matt nabs a silver axe.

EP: The fighter breaks through the wall. More sword users attack my wall. Two cavaliers spawn from the east.

Turn 5: Matt gets the mend. Erk kills a merc while Guy destroys a fighter. Pris grabs a heal from Hector.

EP: The cavs rush toward my wall. Bartre gets attacked again.

Turn 6: Oswin moves into Sealen's range and chips the merc, which Erk kills. Guy and Hector pull back.

EP: Sealen moves into Oswin's range. Bartre chips two cavs.

Turn 7: Bartre gets the boss kill after Oswin chips him. Eli and Erk finish off the cavs.

EP: Nothing significant happens, sadly.

Hector: They've started retreatin'.

Oswin: You've got to admire their efficiency though. Those bastards were actually tough.

Hector: Nah. I don't think so. They were all pushovers, every one of 'em.

Eli: Hector, what is the next move?

Hector: Let's abandon this place an' start lookin' fer Marquess Laus.

Eli: Whatever. Next stop, Caelin!

Hector: Fer the last time, we ain't goin' ter Caelin! Ye kin think of yer fantasies sum other time, loverboi.

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Hector    	01  09  27  13  08  10  03  13  03  13 	
Eliwood   	01  04  20  08  07  09  08  06  01  07   
Oswin 		01  15  34  18  11  07  06  18  05  14   
Matthew   	01  07  22  08  07  14  07  04  00  07   
Lowen 		01  06  27  08  06  07  05  10  01  08	
Bartre    	01  07  34  13  08  07  06  06  01  13      
Guy   		01  06  24  08  11  13  07  06  00  05
Erk   		01  06  20  07  09  10  05  03  06  05   
Priscilla 	01  03  16  06  06  08  07  03  06  14

That Bartre is insanely blessed. IIRC, he's 2 above his speed average. I'm kind of happy that he's getting sufficient speed. Also, Oswin is blessed as well. He's like 3 above his strength average for that level(+2 Def as well).

Swag: Silver axe, Mend, Steel bow

Edited January 1, 2011 by DA125

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 16: Noble Lady of Caelin

Starting Units:

Hector, Eliwood, Lyn, Oswin, Lowen, Matt, Serra, Erk, Guy, Priscilla, Bartre, Rebecca, Sain, Kent, Wil, Florina

Hector: I'm bored!

Eli: Well, can't you think of something to do? I suggest playing Halo with DA.

Hector: Ye know, I've bin thinkin'. Yer father's disappearance, the death o' Marquess Santaruz, our attack on Laus. Why hasn't it bin causin' me brother ter take action?

Eli: I think he's more worried about Bern.

Hector: Yea, Bern. King Desmond is as insane as Kim Jong il, an' wouldn't hesitate ter invade Lycia if he got a chance.

Eli: Now that we think about it, let's not bother your brother.

Hector: It's fer the best.

20 minutes later...

Oswin: Hey! You two!

Hector: Whut is it?

Oswin: Let's just say that Caelin has been taken by Laus forces.

Hector: Not like I care. Gimme five more minutes...

Eli: What about Hausen? What about Lyndis?

Hector: As I've said, don't care. Now let me sleep.

Eli: GAWD! Oswin, help me pick up this sack of crap!

Oswin: I'm only doing this because this is important to you, Eli. And because I need to make use of my manly str.

At Castle Caelin...

Sain: Well, all I have to say is: we're fucked. There are soldiers all over the place, and without Wallace, we're up shit creek without a paddle.

Kent: Milady, we aren't going back to the castle. There's too many of them and too few of us.

Lyn: We made it this far, right? We've got to save my grandfather!

Wil: You know as well as the rest of us that we cannot survive this many enemies...

Sain: All we can hope for is wait for reinforcements.

Kent: Last I've checked, Eliwood is in Laus.

Lyn: Then what are you waiting for? Go!

Sain: We can't go through shrubbery very well. Send Flo-Chan instead. She can fly through shrubbery as if it were open field!

Florina: I...I don't know. They have ballistae all over the place.

Lyn: Really? I only saw two. You'll be fine.

(Florina flies off)

At the castle...

Bauker: What is this?

Peon: Wait! Is that a pegasus knight?

Bauker: Don't stand there! None must escape! Use the giant darts and shoot her down!

Peon: I'll set up the flaming darts at once!

Outside...

Hector: Sey, why are the bastards shootin' giant flamin' darts?

Eli: I recommend looking up.

Florina: Hey, Eli!

Eli: Is that you, Flo-Chan?

Florina: Lady Lyndis and her knights are trapped between two lines of enemy soldiers! I came to look for you!

Eli: That's cool. You need to get down, before the giant darts hit you!

Florina: What giant d-

(dart hits Florina for 19/20 damage)

Hector: Hey, I caught sumthin'.

Eli: Is she alright?

Hector: No. She's bin pierced by a giant barbed dart that was coated in kerosene an' set ablaze! She's still alive, but unconscious!

Eli: SERRA! Get this girl patched up! Guy, remove the dart. Be careful, as it is one of those barbed types.

Hector: I'm a bit shakin' up, but I'm alright.

Eli: That's good to hear.

Back at the castle...

Peon: We actually hit the little bitch!

Bauker: Nice! Let's celebrate by smoking some Cuban cigars. Now, let's kick some ass and chew bubble gum.

Not a bad chapter. Just remember that Lyn's group is undermanned and no one in the vicinity can heal them.

I sent my main force down, while also sending Lyn's group westward. On the EP, Sain chipped one of the mercs, while Oswin and Bartre destroyed things(Lowen and Guy came close). Next turn, I was able to remove both mercs on Lyn's end, as well as the two douches next to Hector's group, as well as collecting shit from the towns. Next turn, Hector takes out a mage(right after missing twice), while the rest of my group struggles to get through the shrubbery. By this stage, the two cavaliers from the NE side of the map got to us. After Eli dealt with one, Lowen was able to kill the other with Becky's help. As for the mercenary, I let Flo-Chan take a kill. Meanwhile, Lyn and the cavs were busy killing bandits.

At about turn 5, reinforcements started spawning from the forts. Luckily, they weren't too bad, as they sucked mostly. I used this time to try to feed some of my lower leveled dudes, though half of them were stupid and went for Oswin(why in hell the enemy would attack the equivalent of a black box is beyond me). After the reinforcements cleared, I then dealt with the ballista guy. Then on turn 10, more cavs showed up waiting to claim my tent. By now, I was getting ready to leave, so I ended the fight by killing the boss with Eli, then seizing after I bought a few items.

Eli: Finally...we got rid of the bastards.

Lyn: How can I thank you, Sir Eli?!

Eli: All in a day's work, milady.

Lyn: Anyway, my grandfather is still in the castle. I'm still not strong enough to go in alone.

Eli: That's where we come in. Right, Hector?

Hector: Yea yea, whatever...

Lyn: Who is that?

Eli: That...is Hector. He's the brother of Marquess Ostia. His way of thinking can be a little...crude.

Lyn: Well met, Sir Hector. I am Lyndis, granddaughter of Marquess Caelin.

Hector: Finally, a girl that ain't me bitchy cleric!

Lyn: By the way, I have a problem with your fighting style.

Hector: What are ye talkin' about? I designed me own style o' fightin'.

Lyn: You act like you are going apeshit. By itself, you are a bigger threat to your allies than to the red dudes.

Eli: It's alright! At least he has control on who he attacks. It's not like he was hit by a berserk staff.

Lyn: I see then.

Hector: ...

Later...

Lyn: DA? Is that you? How's life with Sir Hector?

Me: Peachy.

Kent: Well met, Sir DA. Good to have you back.

Sain: What a 'happy' reunion!

Wil: It's nice to see that I'm not as ignored. Welcome back, Sir DA.

Me: Say, where's Flo-Chan?

Florina: Still hiding. I'm still afraid of men.

Lyn: Alright. Now that this reunion is over, let's go in and rescue my grandfather!

Inside...

Darin: What? They took out the army I left outside?

Hausen: Lord Darin, you need to stop. It may not be too late to repent! Please go to Marquess Ostia and repent your sins!

Darin: Ok...stay calm. I've gotten this far, right?

Hausen: Hurry! Eli will be here. Tell him-

Ephidel: I had to stop him from talking. Excuse me.

Darin: Did you really have to kill him?

Ephidel: Um, no. I just had to put my ninja skillz to good use.

Darin: Is this a trap?

Ephidel: My purpose is to deliver the dreams of our customers to them. And your dream was a united Lycia, with you as king?

Darin: Right.

Ephidel: Alright then. You will have to leave your old army behind. Don't worry though. My people will be more than sufficient for the task at hand.

Darin: Yes. I see it now. I'll leave everyone else with Erik. He needs them more than I do.

Ephidel: Good. I just need to tell off a few people, then we'll be off.

5 minutes later...

Ephidel: LEILA!

Leila: Yes, Sir Ephidel?

Ephidel: The bastard I just 'killed' is still alive. You are to finish the job and hide the carcass somewhere.

Leila: I understand.

Ephidel: You know. You are quite skilled at this. Almost as good as me. Hehe, I'll leave it to you, then.

Leila: Right...

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Hector    	01  10  28  14  08  11  03  14  03  13 	
Eliwood   	01  06  22  09  07  11  10  06  02  07   
Lyn 		01  12  32  11  14  16  10  06  02  05   
Oswin 		01  16  35  19  12  07  06  19  05  14   
Matthew   	01  07  22  08  07  14  07  04  00  07   
Serra      	01  05  21  05  05  09  08  03  08  04   
Lowen 		01  06  27  08  06  07  05  10  01  08	
Bartre    	01  09  36  14  09  08  06  08  02  13      
Guy   		01  07  25  08  12  14  08  07  00  05
Erk   		01  07  20  08  09  10  06  03  06  05   
Priscilla 	01  04  16  07  06  08  08  03  07  14
Rebecca  	01  02  18  05  05  07  04  03  01  05   
Kent 		01  07  25  09  10  10  02  08  04  09  
Sain 		01  07  25  13  06  09  06  07  00  09  
Florina   	01  06  20  07  08  13  09  06  08  04   
Wil      	01  03  20  07  06  05  07  06  00  06   

My Bartre is completely ridiculous. He has (+1HP/+1Str/+2Skl/+2Spd/+2Def)over his average stats at 9/0. That's almost as ridiculous as that 18/0 Bors that I had in my FE6 playthrough. I'm not letting a blessing like this go to waste. In other words, poll 1 is dead.

P.S: Oswin is also pretty hax. 19Str/19Def is just WTF. And this isn't even HHM! Also note that Guy is likely reaching his twilight chapters. His str is too much of a gamble and I do NOT feel like RNG abusing so he doesn't get screwed over.

Swag: Red gem x2, Heavy spear

Edited January 1, 2011 by DA125

[Smiley Jim]

Chapter 17: Whereabouts Unknown

Starting Units:

Hector, Eliwood, Oswin, Bartre, Erk, Sain, Kent, Guy, Matt, Serra, Priscilla

New Units:

Raven, Lucius

Hector: There's STILL more soldiers in the castle?

Eli: I doubt the guards could've done a damn thing!

Lyn: True. All but three were killed in one swift attack.

Eli: Any and all survivors will likely be locked away in a squalid cell with no food or warmth.

Hector: Bah! Another sidequest? This is bullshit.

Firstly, bring Pris. You need her to recruit an EXCELLENT unit. Also your first promoted boss. Use fliers at your own risk, as there are archers all over the place and they can 2HKO Florina with ease. Also, remember to keep at least one of the three assholes alive. You will be granted access to a gaiden map if you do.

Luckily, Raven moves after turn 3, so you don't have to worry about getting Priscilla over to him before he kills all three assholes.

"While I could bring Lyn, she is actually at a decent level right now. I decided that she can wait until Chapter 18 for EXP.'

Raven: I was wrongfully imprisoned here. You can let me out now.

Pawn: What?

Raven: I heard that Sir Hector is here! If you will let me out, I'll join your posse. Of course, you have to let me kill the fucker.

Pawn: How am I supposed to know that you won't betray us?

Raven: I have better stats than you. I can break this door down anytime I wish and cause massive PWN.

Pawn: What?

Lucius: Please, Mr. Raven. You don't need to do this. How about-

Raven: Shut the fuck up! I know what I'm doing!

Pawn: OK, douchebag. Your in. If you double cross us though, your companion dies!

Raven: Note that if you do that, motherfucker, then you will be the next to die.

Pawn: (whimpers like a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome)

Lucius: Please don't go, Mr. Raven! I need you!

Raven: Unless you want to end up like that wimpering asshole back there, you will wait for me.

Kent and Sain started by killing the two sword dudes while Oswin destroyed the knight. Next turn, Oswin and Erk dispose of the archers, then I form a wall protecting Pris using Hector, Guy, and Oswin. After some more assholes attacked Guy and Raven STILL didn't move, I then take them out as well. I then moved west, killing off a nomad, knight, and archer. After I remove the bastards, I then had Priscilla talk with Raven. Here is the convo:

Raven: Get out of my fucking way, little bitch!

Pris: Oh, sorry sir.

Raven: Wait. I know you.

Pris: Are you... perhaps my brother, Raymond?

Raven: And if I am? I don't fucking remember being called Raymond.

Pris: It IS you, Raymond!

Raven: It has been 17 years since we were separated. How's Count Caerleon doing?

Pris: He's doing fine. I am of Cornwell decent, though.

Raven: Wait. I think I am too. Anyway, are you by chance working for Sir Hector?

Pris: Unfortunately, yes.

Raven: It's been decided then. I'll join your posse. But let's get one fucking thing straight. You are to call me Mr. Raven, just like everyone else here.

Pris: Yes, Mr. Raven.

Anyway, I sent Rave up north to deal with the thief. He takes out the fighter and archer before him, then kills the thief with Hector's help. Bartre takes out the fighter. By now, reinforcements started pouring from the southwest. I sent Oswin back to deal with them so they wouldn't destroy my cube wagon. Meanwhile, shamans started spawning from the NW stairs. I used this time to get Raven a few kills(mainly because he wants them and I'd like to get him promoted soon. Luckily, there's an arena next chapter so I can use that and I'm not too concerned about turn counts for the moment.) It should also be known that I picked up those three assholes so that I wouldn't have to reload save states. After I destroyed all the reinforcements, I launched an attack on the throne room, letting Hector, Sain, and Kent get kills on the generic dudes, then Eli went for the bosskill(because I felt sorry for him).

Rave press-ganged the trap into the posse:

Raven: Alright, Sister Lucius. It's time to go.

Lucius: Yes... Mr. Raven. And please stop calling me a woman.

Raven: Do I look like I care? Now get a move on! Or do I have to make you squeal like Ned Beatty?

Lucius: Yes, Mr. Raven(how I regret working for this deranged douchebag. Well, it's better than working at the monastery.)

Raven: And remember who you are working for. You may never get a second chance.

Lyn: Grandpa? Where are you?

Eli: Lord Hausen, where-

Hector: Wait? Is that...blood?

Lyn: No...

Hector: There's a 65% chance he's only injured.

Lyn: That gives me some relief- Oh wait. I believe we are being watched.

Leila: Hi!

Hector: Leila? Why the 'ell are ye here?

Leila: I came here to finish a job started by a man called Ephidel. But I did start tending to Lord Hausen's injuries.

Lyn: Good... my grandfather is alive... Thank fucking god.

Leila: Anyway, I know where Elbert is.

Eli: Where?

Leila: In a place called... the Dragon's gate.

Hector: Wait.. that's on the isle o' Valer.

Eli: Valor... the citizens call it the dread isle. And for good reason. Anybody who lands there is destined to die.

Leila: You don't want to know where I got this piece of information. Anyway, I've been working for the Black Fang for six months now.

Eli: Black Fang?

Leila: The Black Fang is an assassin's guild that commonly kills corrupt nobles. They've been recently whacking anybody they feel like, assuming they're paid.

Hector: LOLWUT?!

Leila: I heard that they signed a contract with a man named Nergal. But I have no fucking clue who he is. I do know Ephidel though. I haven't seen his whole face, but I do know that his eyes are an inhuman gold color. He manipulated Marquesses Laus and Pherae into working for him.

Eli: What?!

Leila: That isn't all. I heard Marquess Laus also press ganged Marquess Santaruz into joining his coup de'tat.

Hector: That's it! I'm goin' to that island, whether ye fuckers like it er not!

Later...

Leila: Matt! What are you doing here!

Matt: Just saying hello. What you doing? More spy work?

Leila: Yes.

Matt: Anyway, when will this end?

Leila: After we rescue Marquess Pherae.

Matt: You really need to stop doing this. It could get you killed!

Leila: What?

Matt: Come live with me. The life of a simple housewife is much better than one of a spy.

Leila: Was it something I said?

NAME   		TIR LVL MHP STR SKL SPD LCK DEF RES CON SUPPORT
Hector    	01  11  29  14  09  11  05  14  03  13 	
Eliwood   	01  06  22  09  07  11  10  06  02  07   
Oswin 		01  17  36  20  12  08  07  20  05  14   
Matthew   	01  07  22  08  07  14  07  04  00  07 
Serra      	01  06  21  05  06  09  08  03  09  04 	
Bartre    	01  10  36  15  10  09  07  08  02  13      
Guy   		01  07  25  08  12  14  08  07  00  05
Erk   		01  09  22  10  09  11  07  03  07  05   
Priscilla 	01  05  16  07  06  09  09  03  08  14
Kent 		01  08  26  09  10  11  02  08  05  09  
Sain 		01  08  26  13  07  10  06  08  00  09  
Raven 		01  07  27  10  12  15  02  05  01  08   
Lucius   	01  06  19  09  07  13  03  02  08  06  

Oswin capped str/def this chapter, which means that I can promote him basically anytime I want(which is after he hits 20/0). Also, Raven got two good level ups, which is pretty good.

Swag: Unlock, Hero crest, Knight crest, Silver sword, Hammer, Red gem

Edited January 1, 2011 by DA125