Let's Play Fire Emblem Monshou no Nazo

[Maji]

No, that is not Celice, or Sigurd, this is Marth. Who's Marth you ask? How should I know? trollface.jpg

Also, nice greasy mullet Oguma, you'll pick up the chicks for sure!

Monshou no Nazo (Mystery of the Emblem) has to be one of my favourite SFC translated games out there mainly in terms of nostalgia, seeing as it is one of my first games I ever emulated and patched successfully and because I loved FE11 and 12, so going back in time is always good! This game wins substantially in terms of its complete, near 100% translation. Finally, I'm going to do this LP for people like me who loved Marth's story and to show Book 2 to those of you who are too lazy to play FE3, or is still waiting for FE12 to come out.

Just some notes before we play:

1.) Roy and Ike ARE in this game, you just need to beat it with a Maji solo 776 times.

2.) Maji is actually the hero of this game.

3.) You do not mess with Maji

4.) Saji is a poser

5.) Thomas is a fatter version of Gordon, but a shota version of Zagaro, so we're going to use him.

6.) We are NOT going to use ANY mounts in Book 1. The dismount system can go to hell.

7.) Raddy is underrated.

With that, let's picdrop some outdated, still fantastic FE!

Reason for all the edits: I added "Book 1" to all the titles, just so Chapter 1 (Book 1) on page 1 won't be confused with Chapter 1 (Book 2) on page 4.

Edited December 17, 2011 by Ethlin

[Maji]

Chapter 0: A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away Without Lightsabers

NOTE: This chapter will mainly serve as a tutorial to what is new in FE3 so it might not be as lulzy as I want it to be.

Oh man, they're really not joking about this whole Emblem thing, eh?

And wha'da'ya know? There's even fire and destruction, where would FE be without that?

So, because of that, the humans do something about that and sort of spawn some guy.

Is that supposed to be a giant Jesus who is popular with the women?

He even has a pretty sexy shield if you ask me.

Now everyone is happy and are partying with the dragons who were just scorching them .2 seconds ago, I don't even-.

With that, this Jesusy guy delivers the NO U and ascends into Heaven passing his haxxy equipment on for future generations to ban hammer dragons with.

Uhhhhhhh, sure thing boss!

Just for reference: "When the Dark Dragon awakens again the chosen one..." you get the point as seen in the giant Jesus thing.

Respawn'd!

FIREMBLEMLOL, This game likes to rehash A LOT (i.e: "DRAGONS DESTROYED THE WORLDLOL!" .3 seconds later "DRAGONS DESTROYED THE WORLDLOL!") so I'll have to cut 90% of dialogue, but fill you in here and there.

The main reason we won't use any mounted units (sans Sheeda for whoring herself out to male recruits recruiting) in this run though because dismounting system is hideous. D:<

Those are small ass houses. =o Other than that, weak fighting skills? Pfft, for enemies Thieves that is.

The sexiest class in the game! That's how I get dressed everyday by the way: hairspray? Check. Headband? Check. Tank top? Check. Arm socks? Check. Speedo? Check. Leg warmers? Check. No foot protection? Check. Manliness? Oh... :(

I guess they were trying for the whole big attack and no DEF, but with caps at 20, they aren't as good as...

These pricks! As most FE'ers know, Archers = meh, but Snipers...

FE3 doesn't even be subtle about it. ;D

Ehhhh, not like the maps are big or anything, horses in general are pretty useless.

And everyone's favourite class in the series (no, not Master Knight although Master Knight SHOULD be everyone's favourite class in the series. ) They can only use lances unless they dismount, then they're just generic sword users.

Pretty cool I guess *cough*mounted units suck*cough*

Okay, I lied, we sort of have to use one of these dicks anyway.

HAXX! They can't use axes like the ridiculously powerful incarnation of FE11 mainly because FE3 fucking hates axe users with a burning passion (they are an extinct race in Book 2), but Dragon Knights are still pretty cool when you're outside.

Mamkutes are cool in this game, the Dragon Stone isn't limited to attacks, but one use = keeps them in dragon form for fiveish turns.

Without a doubt, the greatest class in FE3, expect me to use all of them, and there is no Swordfighters/Swordmasters in FE3, they're all Mercs.

He is also a pimp lord who has sexy legs as you can see.

It's a bitch to level them, but most Sisters (no male healers in FE3 ;D ) are haxxy upon promotion, although, Mages and Sisters both promote to Bishops in FE3, so it's easier just to Lv 20 a Mage and so they can use staffs upon promotion.

Second greatest class in the game, only a bit more squishy than usual for Mages! Tomes rank like:

HAXX: Excalibur

Meh: Aura

Sucks: everything else.

No, don't worry, no allied units in this game (that we'll use) will be Darth Sidius (Sorry WINdell), all the young un's get their own sexy sprites.

Just.. don't worry about her for a long, long time, but yeah, she can use the Rapier which is pretty cool.

What do you get when you promote the greatest class in the game? An even more broken character with max everything.

Of course everyone's favourite bitch to train unit mainly because the almost non existent Skl/Spd at start, but our only Armour we're going to use has at least Spd/Str/Def, so we'll manage.

Because most Heroes cap Def as well, I'd argue Heroes >>>>> General, but Gradivus is a pretty sexy thing to use.

Aaand our sexy legs hero, apparently wears pants to pose for the box art, but promptly takes them off for combat.

Next chapter- Gameplay, Silver Princess rape, lack of old men and the start of the story!

Edited May 17, 2011 by Axefighter Maji

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 1: Troll'd!

And if you're wondering, I am going to do both books, just cause, but for canon sake, let's start off with Book 1.

Yeah, yeah, so I'm too lazy to screencap the whole prologue so I'll summarize. So this Mamkute (humans who morph into dragons ♥) guy named Mediuth trolled this Akaneia place for the lulz and wrecked it.

Now everyone is all butthurt and quitting akaneiaonline because it's too infested with trolls, so the mods are all raaaage about this Meduith trollish dude and come up with a plan to ban him epically.

Then finally a mod by the name of Anri from some country called Aritea perma banned (or really 14 day'd) Mediuth with a kick ass sword called Falchion. Now everyone's all happy you see, I mean his ban bar was just rising and he was just asking to be banned.

HOWEVER: after the 14 days were over (which is rly 100 years irl) Mediuth respawned (how? We'll never know) and continued his trolling Akaneia

Mmm fuck he's sexy, but other than him, he joins with some Thracia Dragon Knights rehash country called Macedonia and some other military place called Grunia.

No, she does not have wings and equip Rapiers and turns into birds, but she is pretty badass nonetheless.

Kay, so this is the only other guy with major Anri blood so he's the only one who can rape Meduith.

Kthxbai Meduith, see you in 100 years later!

Oh.. :( well, we're fucked.

But apparently not because he has a pussy son named Marth who shares the major Anri blood, but he's AFA (away from Aritia) ATM.

In case you don't know, the country of HerpaDurphua is run by the troll mod Meduith and he allows public bannings and shit like that, we don't like em'.

So, now Marth is all butthurt at the loss of his family and wants to go and ban hammer Meduith, however..

Shota heroes are a big no-no, so we have to let him grow up a little.

Let's do the timewarp again!~

It's just a jump to your left.

Another step to your right!

Put your hands on your hips!

And bring your knees in ti-ah-ite!

But it's the pelvic thru-u-ust, it really does drive you in-sa-sa-sa-sa-ane!

Let's do the timewarp again!

Let's do the timewarp again!

Right, so two years later, we are now able to kick some ass.

Uh-oh, this doesn't look good, red units are a baaaad thing!

And we already lost our first village, we suck.

How she manages to fly across a field with a bow user who deal 2x the amount of damage to flying units as well as Pirates who are just pricks in general is beyond me.

"I forgot my favourite pair of panties in this fort!"

Naw, besides losing her favourite pair of panties (damn it Abel!), a bunch of pirates are fucking shit up and she needs some help.

Marth He's okay, he doesn't suck as much as Leaf, nor is he Celice/Sigurd amazing, but 20 being caps and not having to deal with the hhnnngh of FE5, he'll do.

Sheeda: I always get lucky when I use her and she likes to grace me with high Str growths. Look at her Weapon Level too, in this game, there is no weapon proficiency, so Weapon Level determines what kind of shit you can equip. Mmm... being able to use the Silver Lance from the start.

Jeigan: Any FE fans should know this man: the father of the Jeigan Curse. For anyone who isn't familiar: Jeigan starts out as a beast, but sucks later on, although there ARE ways to make him useful in FE3.

Kain: I like him, as does the general consensus who usually fap to Pallys, but we're not using any mounts in this playthrough but Sheeda.

Abel: Lolgreensocial.

Doga: I love this man, he is an Armour, but gains constant Spd/Skl like there's no tomorrow and can tank easily from the start.

Gordon: I think his age is actually older than Marth's but a shota's a shota. He's also one of the prime choice for a bow user in this game mainly due to the fact that the only other bow users come late, are "Jeiganish" or promote to ride on horses.

Right, so let's get some karma on the Thief who raided the village!

And we just broke the game already via giving Sheeda a lulzy weapon and thanks to her natural Spd/Skl, she will ALWAYS hit twice and there is no weapon triangle in this game, so she can rock the hell out in this chapter. ;D

Normally, you'd just get Abel and Kain to kill the Thief, but I'm just a big anti-conforming prick/stingy towards EXP distributing.

And our boss, he's just silly, we see him A LOT in this game in pallet edits and whatnot.

YAY MONEY WE DON'T NEED BECAUSE WEAPONS COME FLYING OUT OF OUR ASS IN THIS GAME!

Uh-oh, Vulnerary time already! D:

Hur hurr, and you thought an old man was going to come out of this village, didn't you? 8)

A-a-a-a little more useful than an old man healer if I say so myself.

Lolkay, have fun stationary boss without a ranged weapon!

Silver Spear'd!

Fun fact: The death song plays when you kill a boss for whatever reason.

Mine now bitches!

Yay, I am an hero!

I thought we were going to Durhua to perma ban Meduith, but whatevz!

As in a really manly sexy man, his sassy brother, pallet edits and some guy who thinks he's all that just because he has a scar on his cheek.

Sheeda's Dad: "Hold "A" to charge your laser."

(Real thing is stating the obvious "If they have a face and aren't pallet edits, try to recruit em'!)

*Gasp* What treachery!

Kthxbai King Talis, see you never again!

Next Chapter- We meet our new hero, over 9,000 pirates, a prostitute and lots of bridges n' shit.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 2: So You Look Different, Want a Reward?

Right, so we took a ferry across the mighty Talis river and now are in the slummish boondocks of Garda, but Pirates (as usual; see Talis) came and...

Fun fun, so being a bloodthirsty hero, we go to slaughter them all.

Hur hurr, I like making things difficult for me and not use people.

Good to know that Sheeda's dad wasn't bullshitting me, we can always use some non-mounted help around here!

Great, so that means there are some professional soldiers mixed in with this pirate trash, it's like they were spying on me or something. :/

Oguma: Yeah, yeah, we get the point: has non generic clothes and hair, has lines, not pre-promoted, A MERC, we'll use you.

Barts: Usually people fangasm all over the place for him, but pfft *looks at my screen name*.

Saji: Getting better, but not quite YEAHHHH!! yet.. furry vests are for nerds and Squall use only.

Maji: YEAH!! Only real men wear muscle shirts to battle and can get their hair to stand up like that.

Meanwhile, it seems Sheeda is actually making herself useful and is converting people to our side. I mean sure, I'm sure pirates would pay you, but why work for pirates when you can work for goddamn royalty? :/

And he doesn't, rather joins our ranks, that swindling slime.

Kashim: Aaaand another shota to join our ranks, only unlike our current two boys we have running around, he gets no love from me.

Ch. 1's apparent more bad ass twin brother, dat Hand Axe (1~2 Rg)

Busy killing pirates and taking names; find someone else.

I guess it's her fault for wandering into such a place in the first place then?

But, money is money, so off we pop after this then..

Did I note that FE3 HATES axe users and this is one of few chapters where you can only buy Maji his manly weapons? :/

Sir, you are wearing striped clothing like a scenekid, the only thing we'll be tasting is your glitter.

Oh, the irony of your statement..

And that is how Maji taught society how REAL Hand Axes taste like.

MANLY. OVERLOAD. OF. WEAPONS. NEEDS. SPACE. FOR. MORE. FUCK. YEAH-NESS.

We didn't let anyone escape by the way, Marth takes no prisoners.

How.. convenient for this Rena character...

More brutes?! When are we actually going to be faced with challenge?

Well, at least that's something to look forward to, I guess.

Next chapter- Men with frightening swords, but scared of women, bisexual thieves, perpetual, yet stupid 1990s healers and you guessed it: axes!

If it makes any Barts fans happy, I use him in FE11 when Maji is too busy being a nerd and casting spells! D;

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 3: Plot Takes an Inconvenient Time to Spill Out

If you ask me, a surprise attack from the sea and cornered in a peninsula with NO fighting experience (See: Ch. 1) sounds like a bigger challenge in theory.

Sounds like a typical ragtag gang if you ask me,WE LIGHT STUFF ON FIRE AND GET DRUNK IN GARDA, WE MUST BE BADASS!

Well, to Hell we go! Only this is chapter three and Hell is probably a good fifteen or so updates away.

Samsian Gang, eh? Just doesn't ring off the tongue in a badass sort of way then again, nor did the Dandelion Gang and Pahn was still manly and had girl fighters everywhere.

And we're still WAAAAAAY under order of people to use. Oh well, just more EXP for Doga!

Being chased by imaginary Samisians now, are you?

Like the one you could buy at any store for like 1,000 gold?

..or you guys can both run seeing as the enemy has yet to show up.. jus' sayin'.

B-because you liked the floral print of her dress?

With any luck, the boss we are inevitable to mow down will be carrying it.

Now they spawn, if Julian and Rena weren't sitting there for like ten minutes in idle chit-chat, they would have been miles away from them by now.

Julian: Ironically, he's one of the best fighters in this game, that is if you have the apparent "mad skillz" to raise him. Only thing that grinds against him is his non existent WLV growth, but that's what the Manual you get a couple of chapters later is for. ;D

Rena: Usually, healers are meh in this game seeing as Mages promote into Bishops and their WLV gained as a Mage lets them equip staffs of a high rank, but Rena is one of few who gets a personal item to use so we're going to use her.

Navarre: Last seen in Jugdral flirting on little Thief girls. Other than that, dem villagers weren't lying about his frightening sword.

And we get pallet swap'd, AGAIN.

I just realized, Maji wears a toga, manly~.

Oh, oh my.

Which makes me think: all the other villages got raided, why the hell didn't this one? It's like one meter away from the Samsian hideout.

Finally, some love for axe users!

Because or blood is apparently called LCK.

Shut up, FE3, I'm defying you. :x

Looks.. fruity.

Only nine uses? Grow up FE3.

As he says to Oguma.

Yes, yes, FE3, we all know you love your swords but hate you axes and mounts.

Naturally, with her Death Silver Rod of Doom in hand, Sheeda leads the way to see what this whole Kill Sword thing is about.

As you can see, her lust for blood is abruptly put to a halt as he coolly says he's scared of her.

The other half of the battlefield is rather anti-climatic and is handled by two people. :/

We still have two more wishes:

2.) Give Rena a pair of running shoes so next time we don't have to save her ass.

3.) Kill Meduith for good.

Worst genie ever.

Wait, who's this now?

Well, erm, I guess I don't mind you at all then if you're going to throw money at me like that.

Alright then, see you in another five chapters where you make a random comment and randomly disappear, Morodof!

Next chapter- we go to Orleans for no apparent reason other than to kill people, meet idiots, Rick Astley and the biggest troll in Akaneia who isn't a respawn! Mainly because he is an incarnation of the Holsety spell.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 4: Idiots Who Got Rickroll'd By... Windy Things?

And as you can see: Akaneia is on the other side of the mountains, so all our work was for naught as we can only apparently climb one mountain (see: Devil Mountain). :<

..Akaneia like every other country in this damn game. Oh, and Princess Nina is hiding in this country.

Which is ironic as it's the second most threatening thing in this poor continent, but not really as it's guarded by hippies and shota.

Always dem' dragon knights..

..."Plains" is still kickin' ass and taking names somehow.

But, he ain't doin' so well since he only just realized his army (see: four other people) sucks and he's sort of stuck in a corner and it's our job (like usual) to save him and the Princess.

You don't know it's us, don't assume, we're only here for the princess, we could care less about some silly duke.

Thanks for... stating the obvious I guess..

Umm.. you don't really have the right to say "an army" now do you? And where Nina disappeared to? We'll never know..

Hardin- The leader of this train wreck of an "army". Out of everyone in this team, he's the only one with decent growth's, even better than Abel and Kain, but alas... mounted units..

Wolf: I guess he's the commander of the Idiot Squad, he's also apparently an emo in FE12.

Zagaro - Manly Wolf The General of the Idiot Squad, like every other bow user (sans Wolf) he is known for his unsettling large thighs, green hair and girly hands.

Biraku - The coolest, manliest, awesomest Social you get in this game (sans growth rates sadly..). Now for whatever reason, Biraku is well known in Japan, he has his own ROM hack based on him (that I could never get working sadly :< ) for the love of god! Anyway, he's just one of dem' generic knights of the Idiot Squad.

Roshe- You honestly didn't think we'd get through two chapters without a shota, now did you? ;D Roshe is probably a fresh recruit Hardin stole from his house because his army is quite.. idiotic and he needed anything to bolster his numbers including recruiting a pink haired 13 year old boy.

And our boss. Dear God, I'm starting to miss my manly pallet swaps already! D:

...hicks as we haven't seen many cause we're royal?

Yes, exactly, hicks are exactly like Peraty! Wait, what? Where did this convo come from?

In case you weren't paying attention to the Prologue..

My neighbour does that all the time! Especially to kids who play in her garden.

I drive over red glowing stones to buy my daily Slurpees, they are a bitch to get out of my tires.

...you're not normal. D<

Like maybe the next village where you give me awesome things?

Wait, what? Is that....?

Rick Astley - The prick everyone loves to hate (mainly because you were expecting noods when you clicked that link many moons ago, don't lie ;D ). As if his battle cry wasn't obvious enough, he's also Rena's brother.

Siblings apparently forgot who they are when they go without seeing each other for a week. :/

We'll soon find out, Macedonia has an obsession with "M"s in their name.

Poor Machis, everyone hates you.

Then he'd end up whoring himself out to 1,000 bandits for ten gold each like you did.

I could never dream of killing any blue people though! Except for Lucius, but that's another story.

What kind of normal sibling could ever ask that sort of question? D:

"If they start with an "M" in their name, chances are they are too manly for you, are shota or are your distant sibling!"

Or an ironic statement could work as well..

Let's visit the next village which is placed here due to cutting of chapters.

Well, anything that shoots magic is more than welcome to troll things up around me!

He even comes with the second strongest (strongest vs flying foes) magic in the game at an early chapter!

Marich - Meet the Wind Warrior Sety in Akaneia form, only he doesn't need the rapehole of Holsety to rip things up. He's also the only Mage we get for awhile.

Minerva, pfft, we'll show dem' Macedonians who's boss round' here!

This isn't an RPG, you can't have a second form sir. :x

Stained in blood and without Macedonians? I could come next year and it'd be the right time for you, Hardin's WAY older brother.

...so we basically fought an entire war ourselves and Nina is still walking from that fort like three meters away from this castle.

B-but we were just passing through! Fffffffffffffffff, getting sucked into political affairs.

Next Chapter- We vacuum up what's left of these Macedonians, Doga is manly, even more shota and FAIAEMUBERU (or whatever it's called in Japanese)

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Shin]

Entertaining stuff. Although I don't quite understand the hatred of mounted units.

[Maji]

My hatred to mounts is because they dismount in building chapters, and because Endgame is a building chapter, I don't really see the point of raising them when in the end, all they'll be is average sword users when I'll be using every Merc in this game to be Heroes.

[Shin]

Dismount stat drops aren't that bad but I do see where you're coming from. Does that mean you intend to use Caesar? Rady's fine but I've never been able to use Caesar.

[Maji]

I surprisingly didn't have any problems raising Caesar, coming with 6 Wlv when the Miracle Sword is 12 Wlv, not to mention, the Star Orb is obtainable around the time of getting the Miracle Sword really helped. So, I did indeed favoured him come later chapters (I tried to limit his EXP in the earlier chapters so the Star Orb can fully be used), but I needed to if I was going to use him.

IIRC, ironically, I must've forgotten to take the Miracle Sword off him, but I think he went on to be my strongest Hero, then Raddy, then Oguma then Navarre- who didn't get to promote in the end. Same story with Thomas vs Gordon, but in Thomas's defence, he can use the Partia three Wlv growths later when Gordon needs favouring in the early chapters to get his Wlv that high.

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 5: Barbie's Castle: Under Siege Edition

Long Story short: because we're on the road to Akaneia, why the Hell not help everything along the way? Also, this Nina girl seems pretty cool, so we're just going to kill some time until she finally gets to the castle like .1th of a meter away from her initial location.

Treasures?! TREASURES?! Well, count me in and call me a #1 Orleans fan if we get treasure out of this.

Because apparently, all the axes, lances, swords and fire magic cannot hope to harm these when Doga still takes damage when he's lined with steel plates. :/

Probably that gossiping Oguma, you know how he gets when he runs into his pals from bingo.

Main reason why there will be no mounts: granted, female Knights are pretty sexy with their short skirts and Buster Swords, but still.

Someone wasn't looking out the window when we were taking Macedonian names.

Lolmagic.

And competition for the treasure :( (then again, what else is new, Fire Emblem?)

Oh yes, you know how safe I'd feel being protected by two Archers, a low levelled Mage and a Bishop without assault magic

Ricardo. - B-but it's only been one chapter since we last recruited a shota! D; Ah well, in FE3, he's the worst of... his kind. (those short shorts make me feel like a pedo for looking at him). Stat wise- as a Thief, unlike Julian who is a Str god of doom an annihilation, but doesn't know how to wield a sword correctly, Ricardo is a bit more perpetual to what you'd think a Thief is (i.e: low Def, high Lck/Spd) only with hideous Skl growth (20) and semi-decent Str (50). I'd use him if I wasn't already whoring myself out to fifty other sword users.

Wendell - (More like WINdell, amIryte?) Iunno, he's apparently pretty godly if you raise him with a Star Orb, but I had other plans with the Star Orb ;D Not to mention, Excalibur is Marich-only so Windex can't use it.

Lol 1~1 Rg boss, have fun Marich and Gordon!

Yeah, you're a Thief, you can't even breathe inside jail cells as you can easily just pick your way out.

You couldn't even jack that chest two spaces away from spawn point? Son, I am disappoint.

Read you like a book.

From the looks of it, "big bro" is also intimidated by little boys.

What this "helping" he's talking about is? We'll never know..

Ah man, even Windex got captured? Macedonia must mean serious business.

Basically in a tl;dr form, Khadein is all magical n' shit, then some prick named Garnef came and took it over, now it's all evil n' shit.

OHKO'd! <3

From the sound of the enemies, they make it sound like the Aritian army is some sort of classy French food testing group.

We'll show you how steel tastes.

And we do!

How.. convenient of you to show up JUST as soon as we kill everyone...

And to slap a request on me out of the blue. D:<

Is this Emblem perhaps affiliated with "Fire" in any way or form?

PS: that's why Marth's name is "Mar" because he gets a pimped out Crest next to his name now

Next Chapter- Enemy ambush, a not so pissed of Princess, sisters and reinforcement hell.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Shin]

Marth really is a pushover isn't he? Could I we see your units' stats? I'm curious about Maji.

[Maji]

Yes, yes he is, following a Princess's orders without question. xD Stat-wise, although he does have the Rapier, I don't really like favouring him early or even mid game mainly because he gets almost free (see: 99 Dmg on a critical) kills on Mamkutes with the Falchion.

Unfortunately, I have since then beaten this game, although I must admit, I did ring whore/kill steal Maji a hell of a lot to make axes suck a little less later on. However, I did take an Endgame screenshot of my Endgame team.

Also, if you'd like- since I'm only on Ch. 2 of Book 2 right now, I will take more team stats (suggestions on how often?). Sorry about that, I didn't know that anyone would be curious about people stats when I first started this.

[Psych]

Probably every 3-4 chapters.

I'm looking forward to this though.

[Shin]

3-4 would be nice. I hope you've got a good comment for Lawrence's self-destruct!

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 6: Why Your Judo Sensei Always Told You to Run at Fist Sight of Danger.

Our march straight into Akaneia seems to be going well.

(I was wrong last update about Akaneia being west of Orleans, Marth has more balls than I though marching right into enemy territory).

With any luck they know where we're headed and are geared for for, thus "Trap in Lefcandy"

Haiman? Oh, oh my, that's awfully close to- okay fine, so sexual organ jokes in this LP (if I made some in earlier entries ignore them. )

We'd still mop the floor with you, open battle or not Mystery Woman (ironically, the only real Macedonian "open battle" was removed from FE3 thankfully; it got me flaccid in FE1 and 11)

Turns out, this Mystery Woman is Princess Minerva.

And they got her little sister, Maria and will kill her if Minerva won't fight for the Durhua Empire, oy yoy yoy...

Damn right it won't, ..unless you have a more evil, sinister, reinforcement trap waiting for me besides throwing a couple of chicks on ponies at me.

Literally two turns later.. her stats will come in later chapters when she attacks again, halfheartedly, much like in this picture.

Didn't Minerva call him Haiman like two seconds ago? Besides that, yet another 1~1 Rg dude, only this chapter, laud...

Yes, because every little girl tells me my name when she sees me. :/

B-but Julia! What about Julia?

Wrong dimension. >_>

Someone forgot about the whole reason why we're off to kick some ass (Falchion if you forgot too)

Peraty.. hicks.. glowing red stones.. hmm...

No one said we're going to go look for ten year old girls on our journey!

Banutu- Stones are broken in this game, I'll give him that (they transform the user to a dragon for five turns, scoring them infinite use breath for five turns), but I'm a pretty racist prick and don't like old men. Not to mention his stats, oh god, his stats.

Nonetheless, Marth give him the glowing red stone the hick gave to him two chapters ago, and..

WHAT THE HELL?! HE'S BIGGER THAN THOSE TWO BRICK PENISES IN THE BACKGROUND!

(Sex joke +1 *lash*)

Dat Spd/Skl :(

Right, this is the real "Trap", and if you don't plug the forts, they'll harass you for six turns. Although it's nothing compared to the shit storm of next chapter.

Excalibur phoned..

But you were already burning in hell by the time I called you down.

Oh hey, it's Mora- Moro- Molo- Morodof! What was keeping you from saying anything to me before? D;

Long story short: God thought they were too haxx, so he forced them to seal their Dragon-ness inside of stones, and Mediuth was not lovin' that shit and got all mad at the new rules, and for that, he got ban hammered. Then the rest was all rehash of respawn and Marth with major Anri blood n' stuff, to Akaneia!

Next chapter- We get lost and end up in a port town and get chased away.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 7: "Relaxing" is Just a Classy Way to Say "Lost"

"March straight through Pales and end up in the Akaneian southern peninsula." Wait, what?

Even Doga needs his KFC before stomping on Pales I guess.

But the Empire being pricks are going to invade this place, Warren's will or not in a major middle finger like battle.

I know you can't see it, but there's two other forts behind the text box that if you don't seize the gate by turn fourteen, you'll have to fight two Horsemen every turn after that. D;

And the last time we hear of Pelaty because the whole one chapter you spend there (with that Mamkute boss) got the axe. Speaking of axes, he's carrying the strongest, non risk inducing axe in the game.

Oh dear... better than the last gauntlet of bosses we just fought though. For him, because your army is busy dealing with stuff (see: battalion of Social Knights, Horsemen with a relief of Armours and Archers on their way), Marth and Marich will have to duet him alone.

Uh, good for you?

So we see. D;

Thank God for Doga!Choke points. ;D

Problem: we'll need to break through the big army to get to the eastern fort. Got any ideas, Mr. State-the-obvious?

Everyone leaves everything up to me to decide.

Caesar- Decent bases, bad growths, but I'm crazy/have a fetish for Mercs, so welcome aboard! We'll find an excellent way to make Caesar godly later on, even if he has some.. aesthetic problems (imo).. at least he looks handsome in his TCG artwork, minus his blouse!

Raddy - Decent bases (minus Lck), fabulous growths, you're more than welcome aboard Raddy! He even has a semi par Wlv to make up with starting at Lv. 1 allowing him to use the Kill Sword one Wlv growth later, which amusingly enough, he has a 50% growth in Wlv compared to Navarre's 30%.

Giving Doga a Javelin really helps here, jus' sayin.

Kill Swords and Silver Lances on sale? Good bye funds. -__-

Fire and Lightning are significantly weaker than Excalibur and Blizzard, but I buy some for Marich so he doesn't burn through his boss killer on generic enemies.

And you break the game D< , I don't use them at all in this LP by the way mainly because I'm too lazy to.

Potential foreshadow? Dragon Killers are overkill in this game by the way. A critical WILL OHKO overly and one swipe can take out 2/3rds of their health for weaker people to steal the kill.

As you can see, Oguma's greasy mullet even attracts the Goddesses.

Generic military death quotes.

But we already beat the chapter, no more enemies plzkthx.

Also seen last chapter flying with Minerva who took off two turns later. I wonder what she wants?

Long story short, Minerva is tired of everyone bossing her sister around, so she's going to go to the prison Maria is at, kill everyone there and take her sister back. Marth naturally being a whore for blue haired chicks decides to agree with Katua's request, leaving our Pales stomping for later.

Next chapter: Who cares about saving the world when a hot babe asks you to do something? , other than that, expect a lack of A ranked Axes, loli for once, fort battles and crappy reinforcements.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 8: Princesses are Always in Distress... Except if You're Nina, then You Have a Flamethrower

Anyway, I should probably update before this thread gets old and I get nailed with a nercropost.

Were we in trouble and forced to flee? No. Were we two steps away from a prime goal and got distracted? Yes. Is Nina pissed about this? In theory. Are we going to gain anything from this? Exp if that counts, but other than that, no.

"..Minerva"

in that case, that's what forest tiles and Marich is used for my pretties.

Yeah, yeah, basically Marth sees Minerva as his sister Ellis because she's an older sibling who is making sacrifices for her younger sibling, much like how Ellis let herself be captured by sexy Garnef here so Marth could get away.

That is why we are taking this unneeded detour to save some chick who could probably save herself as well as her sister seeing as her superior is a General (Read: no dragon) and Minerva is a DRAGON Knight.

Because Leftcandy is ours after the thwarted assault of throwing two and a half winged ponies at us.

That's just the normal way people talk to her at this stage of the game.

Minerva: Hey ______!

_____: Why hello there! The day is nice, isn't it? If it rains, then forget about your sister's life.

Minerva tries the whole pre-rebellion thing of pretending to see her sister to get away from him, but it doesn't go as planned. I guess Marth is going to have to do things on his own (like usual).

Hmm.. Minerva asks to see her sister, two seconds later a rebel attack...

But I'm the only one who sees these coincidences and Minerva gets away Scott free no suspicions or anything.

Oh noez, not two and a half dragons and two 100 lbs or less girls on pegasi! Whatever is Marich supposed to do?!

Fun fact: We'll have this prison conquered by turn three.

This chapter introduces the concept of promotion items (see: Hero Proof for Mercs) which won't be used for a LONG time seeing as I enjoy my 20/--'s all the time, efficient run or not.

There is also a Sniper who can wreck things in the prison if you're not careful (dat 12 Spd). Other than that, the prison is guarded by two other Archers (lol) and an Armour (rofl) with Socials outside that abruptly die in one turn.

Maria - she gets no personal staffs, Rena does, we have a Mage of doom with one more coming next chapter so Maria is worthless unless you like to Live bot or something. I guess she's cuter than Rena and has a manlier sibling(s) than Rena?

Minerva - Without auto access to haxx axes, Minerva loses her merit to shine. Granted, Pegasus Knights are a bitch in the tits to promote, and it's easier to just use Minerva, give her the Star Orb later on and call it a day, we're sort of forced to use Sheeda as well as EVERYONE WANTS THE STAR ORB.

He's sort of an ass to get to, that's his thing.

Another ass in this level is that Thief (pictured: bottom right) who likes taking the loot and bolts out of there, you probably want that Thunder Sword that he steals by the way, so Shanan to Patty him for the love of God! D;

That is a reference to next level and the reason why we don't get Shooters in FE3, because FE3 hates you and wishes that every enemy got unlimited use missiles to pelt you with.

Get in line with all the other girls, Missy, Marth is a busy man.

Pfft, please tell her to get her butt over here, she's the one with a goddamn dragon to fly on.

And she does, as for whatever reason, she magically knows that Marth saves her sister and flies on over.

And you will.. in spirit and Rena using your Live staff.

While we're screwing around, allow me to explain the concept of trade chains, mainly because the northern door needs to be unlocked and Doga just so happens to be carrying the only Door Key in my possession.

Because Doga can't haul his ass to the other side of the prison by himself in a reasonable time frame, he gives the Door Key to someone else who can still move.

And so on.

And so on (don't judge my Maji favouring. D< )

Navarre moves to receive (so tempted to make a bad joke here, but let's not).

Maji.. gives...

Then a couple of reinforcements come sooner or later, which is why Doga must be at the front of the fort to help tank.

Oh hey, it's that Minerva chick, and she's not impaling Marth with her Javelin!

You had to be the worst enemy I've ever "fought"

In which she is talking about her brother Mishiel who killed his/Maria/Minerva's father to take the throne.

Good luck with that, there is a book of trolly wind named after a fabled sword who will more than do that for you, have fun sitting on the bench with your sister!

Before disappearing into the shadow of plot, never to be seen again until the ending, she has to name drop the Pegasus Sisters who IS loves more than anything.

Paola's the hottest, jus' sayin'.

I kind of found Marich doing all the work was getting boring, so I let ArmourKill!Oguma do something for once.

And ended with a bang by making Marth get the kill, why the hell not?

Yeah! He's the guy who could use women only magic! (although in FE3, it's not women only, more of a Holy Blood concept)

Then that happened, minor details, minor details..

Fortunately, he has some daughter who can also use the Aura tome, but she's sort of being a slave as you can see.

Because there's only one slave market in the entire FE3 world and it's in the capital city- Pales!

Next Chapter- More loli (technically, although the more than frightening internet fanbase would disagree with me), lack of horny men with missiles, crammed villages to save space and Mamkutes!

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Integrity]

You'll never get nailed with a necro warning for bumping your own project threads with content, FYI.

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 9: Now Back to the Featured Presentation

Good God the Durhua are idiots to not send out reinforcements to the places they were routed, allowing Marth to just leave off where we last left of in his assault against Durhua. Oh well, less work for us I guess.

See why it's bad to get sidetracked? We lost out on all the pimp rings for Maji and Caesar to use. :<

Because apparently Nina- the Princess of this land doesn't know it by heart already and needs Marth's guidance in this "foreign" land.

Basically this emo poet in training recites the day when she watched her parent's heads get chopped off and put on pikes, yummy.

Okay, okay, we get the point, sheesh! D< How she escaped? Find out later, knights in shining armour included, I love you 1990s.

Jus' sayin' I ain't makin' none of this emo shit up.

"All I felt was sorrow, and... and... A BIG SCARY DRAGON, AAAAAAAAAA!" Other than that, you get the advantage of a fort on a choke point, so he ain't so bad to deal with.

Hard part of this chapter being these pricks stationed exactly where it's not convenient for you at all, hello 3~10 Rg weapons.

W-what else is new, FE3?

But who cares about kids that we'll inevitably meet sooner or later in a badass way, let's go hit up some snipers!

How? A real man gives no details, he just goes.

Oh, YOU'RE going to use it, eh? We've got bigger and better plans with that bow.

George- He's pretty gnarly guy, but I am dreadfully scared of pre-promotes that are non-Jugdral/late NA era. D; Free Silver Bow so Gordon can do things finally? Yay!

Why the hell not? Our army is chocked full of them anyway.

But ironically, Marth wants none of that shit, free children, or gtfo.

Before that, he threatens the slave trader's life, like he should (read: before FE11 where he sort of is like "I'M HERE I'M QUEER AND EVERYONE IS SAFE!" and that's that)

Well, that's cute sonny, now grab a bow and start shooting.

My words in vice versa when I first saw Marth, only instead of clothes, I asked why he is so acquainted with a flat iron and a tiara.

You'll find out later on that this Garnef figure has this thing for girls, which isn't a bad thing or anything, but for God's sake, Linda is like ten years old! D;

Yeah, she has ORKO magic, it'd be a shame to let that go to waste!

Linda- ORKO magic bitches! (20 Mt) Sadly, she'll need all that Mt for awhile, or at least until her 1/5 chance to gain a Str stat kicks in. :/ I Str ring whore her to make her better.

You kids want to know what a Dragon Killer does?

Exactly that.

Again, Nina doesn't know her own country, yet alone her castle.

And there's even a couple of semi decent characters (although one of them is awesome) in there to fill the hole of not having any mounts!

Next chapter- Back into the shota tradition (chubby stuff this time though), bald men, the ground breaking concept that women in the 1990s can fight and treasure raids! (because the world map rehash this chapter was lying about all the treasure being taken D< )

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Shin]

Nice Maji. It's a shame he won't be promoting... ever. Nina's not very helpful, is she? At least Maria gets points for trying.

[Fia]

Now for whatever reason, Biraku is well known in Japan, he has his own ROM hack based on him (that I could never get working sadly :< ) for the love of god!

Villuck is famous because he has a similar hairstyle with Abe from Kuso Miso manga. He is like FE poster boys of "Yaranaika" fad along with Lex.

And I just successfully patched that Villuck hack, so if you want a help...

[Maji]

Nice Maji. It's a shame he won't be promoting... ever. Nina's not very helpful, is she? At least Maria gets points for trying.

Oh well, with low caps, I can luckily squeak by with his decent Spd growths. I admit I needed to give him the Angel Robe to get past his God awful HP growths, but thanks to his high Spd, he has no problems doubling. Hard part being able to hit things with anything other than an Iron Axe.

I always think the same thing about Nina, and FE11!Morodof for that manner they have Bishop sprites on-map, and Nina obviously knows how to fight (if BSFE has anything to say), so why isn't she helping out? D; Maybe she's just really bossy and lazy or something.

Villuck is famous because he has a similar hairstyle with Abe from Kuso Miso manga. He is like FE poster boys of "Yaranaika" fad along with Lex.

And I just successfully patched that Villuck hack, so if you want a help...

This guy, right? xD I'm personally not familiar with the manga, but I can sort of see why he's popular now, as I see that magnificent sex face all over the internet.

For the hack, the problem is I downloaded the patch from some distant corner of the internet, not knowing what I was doing, and there was a bunch of files and readme files in the file. Did that happen with you as well, or did I download the wrong file?

[Fia]

This guy, right? xD I'm personally not familiar with the manga, but I can sort of see why he's popular now, as I see that magnificent sex face all over the internet.

For the hack, the problem is I downloaded the patch from some distant corner of the internet, not knowing what I was doing, and there was a bunch of files and readme files in the file. Did that happen with you as well, or did I download the wrong file?

Yep, that's the guy.

Go here and download FE0983.zip, that's the patch you are looking for.

Also you would need a clean v1.1 rom (3,146,240 bytes) and winIPS 2.0 to patch the files.

As for the patching itself it's pretty easy. Just make sure you back-up the rom before patching using winIPS.

There are 2 IPS files inside FE0982.zip (both are named as fe3_biraku.ips) just patch the two of them into the clean rom and happy playing to you.

[Joerachi]

Can't wait for Chapter 10: Midia Goes to Jail.

Edited June 21, 2011 by Joerachi