Let's Play Fire Emblem Monshou no Nazo

[Maji]

I should probably update this before it disappears into the dreaded Page 2, don't worry, I'll update more regularly now, I have actual interest in the internet again!

Book 1 Chapter 10: Dat Not Really Jail Break

As in treasure >>>> saving one person we're going to use, so we sort of let them stew in their cells until some kind Akaneian soldier who isn't Marth's squad decides to let them out.

Here they go into the genealogy of the Holy War (c wut i did thar?) of Nina's ancestors, but there's not much to know except for there's three weapons (cause they're less wuss and don't need twelve)

And they killed everyone who opposed them and called it "Holy Will" why the hell not?

In here, we run into another old man (as if Jeigan and Windex weren't enough), a dismounted whatever girl, the only other Archer prepromote in this game and two Knights because there is a shortage of armoured units until now.

You're a dismount, you can forget about that idea missy. Although that Archer is lookin' pretty tasty.

Cause unfortunately, no one knows martial arts to egg the guards on to open the door, beat the shit out of them, pull an FE5 and jack their weapons like how most video games handle prison escapes.

Hmm, namedrop hinting Midia knows a guy named Astria. I wonder if that will be of any use that some poor player forgot to read and was royally screwed when an inevitable red unit named Astria showed up.

Midia- Unfortunately for her, not only is she a mounted unit, she's a prepromote, and lord knows how bad FE3B1!Prepromotes are, so she gets nailed twice. Although I do give her credits for being a Pally and not being skinnier than a Slim Lance and or flying on a winged pony or healing, those are rare qualities in FE3 Book 1. D;

Boa- Decent stats to Star Orb abuse with and wind up with a pretty awesome dude, but horrendous stat growths, so if you seriously want to use him you're forced to Star Orb abuse him (in which 90% of my current team would like), and with three magic users running around, unless your magic user unit fetish is enough to combat my Merc unit fetish, you're probably not going to want him anyway.

Besides, if you want to use an old magical man, use Windex.

Mishelan- Highest stat growth is 40% in Wlv, everything else is 10 and 20%s (minus Str which is a 30%, but really? An Armour who isn't Doga [who makes up for it with decent Spd and Skl] with 10% Def?). His presence is trivial at best, unless you have a tanking fetish that Doga should be rubbing you in all the right ways if you do.

Tomth- He's actually more recommendable than Doga in that he has actual tanking stats- trading Doga's 40%'s in Spd/Skl for Def and HP, but promotion to General makes up for lack of Doga's Def with dat +4 Def/ 1/5th of the cap.

Thomas- And our main attraction, this chubby kid/compressed and shota looking Zagaro. Fap to his base Wlv and Str, and the fact the Partia comes at the end of this chapter. With three more Wlv growths to gain to use it and a 50% chance to gain, I love him.

Also, I neglected Gordon, so he's sort of down in the dumps.

The boss figure: first non Axefighter or Armoured unit! I always thought the Bolganone icon looked like a Cyndaquil from first glance. -_-

But being a magic unit, and having a badass Raddy...

That happens to him, isn't being able to wield the Kill Sword from one Wlv growth good for units you want to train?

Y-you mean you've had this weapon this whole time? y u hold out on us gurl?

*Draws sword* damn it Nina!

Herp derp.

Anyone: "Hey look, a free legendary weapon, let's take it!"

Just slightly, because haxx Str and 99 Exp a Mamkute kill and approx 90 EXP a promoted unit kill is nothing. :/

17 uses of DOOM. Then you get the Hammerene, then it's near unlimited uses of DOOM AND 20/20.

-Tune in next time for revenge at its finest, no Shooter-ville, no Shooter recruits and sexy women!

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Integrity]

Boah may have delivered the best line in everything forever in this.

"Still, if you die, Astram will be very sad."

Just so ...understated. It really underlines how few fucks Astram gives about everything that he'll be "very sad" if Midia dies. I'd be sadder than that if she died because she's a fine piece of ass.

Incidentally, even though I'm usually a massive prick about translations, I've still been able to follow and enjoy this even though I mumble corrections to every single name. Keep it up!

[Maji]

^ Oh Christ yes, I love Midia (and Minerva to some extent), maybe not as much, but women who can fight are always good!

I'd love her a bit more if she wasn't always captured by the enemy. -_-

Anyway, next update soon (maybe tonight) and a whole lot more as I want to get as much done as I can before I attend to vacationing for a week.

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 11: Karma- Because We Can

In which they stabbed us in the back, so what are we going to do? Slaughter them all and feast on their innards.

And we even have a badass excuse to do so. Oh Marth, y u so cruel?

Uh sorry for the delay; was destroying more worthy things, but now we're bored, so we are doing more dickish things.

Someone doesn't want any mercy.

Cause everyone is smart and wants a painless death, Jiol here will get multiple Hand Axes in his back along with Fire spells opposed to a quick Oguma slash, or Linda!Aura in the face.

GOD, IDIOT. It's like Napoleon Dynamite all over again, please God, no more. D;

OH SHI- DURHUA, THEY'RE PART DRAGONS MAN, MAMKUTES! -scared face-

Oh... well, that's great! All the more Exp for Thomas!~

They can flash their panties with their incredibly short skirts- on the verge of being called just a long shirt on a windy flight and stun people?

Or gtfo. Unfortunately, the whole one Camus namedrop before this chapter got cut, so this is the first time you hear of him. Mishiel is from the land of M and Dragon Knights himself and Minerva's not so scary brother. (Also a red pallet edit of Navarre back in the days of FE1.)

I don't think this is betraying at all, rather karma, but sure thing boss. :/

Jiol - Honestly, at this point of the game- unless you forgot to train Marich (shame on you!) or Linda, 1~1 Rg bosses are a laugh.

Astria- Oh hey, that namedrop guy! And nope, only Midia can recruit him, which sucks because she takes up space, making you kick someone off the team for this chapter. D;

A couple of turns later, this cryptic figure (seen at Leftcandy) shows up.

Katua- Apparently, she's one of the best (if not, THE best) Pegasus Knight in this game, but with a near full team, I hold off on using her. Free Kill Sword, FTW!

Pao- whoops. Paola- Sexiest Peg. Sister IMO! Like her sisters, she's pretty gnarly, but I'm already favouring three people already (looking at Maji, Caesar and Thomas on this one) so unfortunately, she gets no such luck.

Oh yes, that girl who distracted Marth, causing him to forget to stomp Pales.

So out of pure loyalty, she joins up, yay Kill Sword!

You sure looked menacing back at Leftcandy. :/

Seventeen year old vs. an entire empire? Why the hell not.

-Wink wink, nudge nudge-. First thing's first: GET THE HELL OUT OF THE ARCHER'S RANGE, KATUA! D;

Holy Jose, recruitment city! And no, no Beck is in this chapter. :(

You are help! By bolstering the bench'd numbers and free Silver Sword...

Right, so there's many a-problems in this chapter, most menacing are these pricks who have the benefit of a far off entrance from my spawn point as well as being guarded by Socials who can mount indoors and a Sniper with a Silver Bow (?), making it easy for them to steal my spoils of war (in this case: the all mighty Silver Card which = 1/2 price of items.)

Second problem is geographical mindfucks, like seriously, what is even going on here? No, but seriously, there is a room full of Archers guarding a village as well as a Bishop with a Reserve Staff (heal all enemies).

But Marth is a manly mofo and doesn't wait for Thomas to clear out the enemies to meet this odd unique sprited figure.

We'll be sure to give it to him... after the war.

Umm, I think she'll be fine with all those weapons she's hiding on us. Why, I'm sure she even has her own tank and machine gun hidden somewhere.

And you'll give us an even better weapon then!

Eh, I liked the name Tron better, but here it is, the spell that Marich can use and still be WIN without burning through Excalibur like a boss.

Good God, Jiol, you have a ghetto throne room, it's like a tree house on steroids or something.

Is that like Sheeda's more butch long lost sister with hot pink armour or something?

The whole castle, this throne room and treasure room is sure big..

Welp, besides sexy revenge, this was a trip wasted. :/

-So let's waste more time in Chapter 12 when we get our confidence shattered by saggy old men!

Holy holepunch Celice, we've reached EDDA! That was a long chapter. -_-

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Integrity]

Actually, despite my usual translation-prickery I prefer Tron too. :p

PALLA! CATRIA! :D Shame they'll be benched, but at least they exist now and I can take some solace in this.

[Hippoman]

I can't stop laughing at Bantu on the box art.

"OOGABOOGABOOGA!"

[Hippoman]

Boah may have delivered the best line in everything forever in this.

"Still, if you die, Astram will be very sad."

Just so ...understated. It really underlines how few fucks Astram gives about everything that he'll be "very sad" if Midia dies. I'd be sadder than that if she died because she's a fine piece of ass.

Incidentally, even though I'm usually a massive prick about translations, I've still been able to follow and enjoy this even though I mumble corrections to every single name. Keep it up!

I see your "Astram will be very sad" and raise you FE3 Jeigan's "Lord Marth, the wall in front of us has collapsed!" and that one line that's like "Lord Marth, we are in the desert!" or whatever.

Although Astram probably has holdout girlfriends all over Archanea.

[Integrity]

Jags is Captain Obvious. Astram doesn't give a fuck.

These are two separate things.

[Maji]

Hopefully pleases Integ, and perhaps other people for updating from not updating for three weeks

Book 1 Chapter 12: How to Mess a Badass Offensive Streak Up

LolKhadein, the Hogwarts of Akaneia, and Garnef is a name they dropped in the Prologue like a billion years ago.

Dat 3% Res growth for majority of everyone speaks for itself when the narrator says that.

Then someone like Raddy, or Doga rams their weapon into the Mage, no book can stop weapons!

Garnef is a possessive sort of guy who enjoys guarding Khadein's whole two treasures. Other than that, his other hobbies include capturing women and ranting of how invincible he is.

Maph o shi- count: 1

You get used to hearing that as time progresses.

Hey, Dragon Goddess, that one person Banutu was ranting about! I wasn't aware that she was into old noodles.

This is an awful place to make a pun towards his weakness, and what is it with enemies ranting about their weaknesses?

Garnef- omg hi kils aeristh, haxx haxx!!!1oneone11

Other than that, sure he has a book with a "D:" looking spirit flying out of it, but dat Skl is all we need to think of him as a joke.

Maph o shi- count: 2

Cute, he even has his own background and music.

O SHIIIIIIII, MARICH!

He has like four gigantic evil spirits come flying out all at once, you'd figure at least one of them would hit. :/

Last time I talk to you on MSN, Garnef.

Marich is pro at tag, and Garnef is getting angry because his eyes are too rotted out to catch him.

Right, so after a REALLY long, boring chapter of desert navigation and lots of reinforcements consisting of low level Mages, and one or two Dragon Knights, we finally take this dinky magic school.

Much like Garnef, Gato likes to brag about his magic too:

Gato's Magic count: 1

What's even more saddening is how bad the RNG Gods hate him and his growths.

Dun dun... bug off Gato, just do this yourself if you're so high and mighty.

Then the rest is history, but seriously Gato, serves you right for using Maph- the almighty tome as a door stopper. Usually one keeps a close eye on those kinds of things!

Maph o shi- count: 3

Aaaand 4, they just keep coming and coming. So whatever are we going to do, o mighty Gatobledore?

Long story short: there's like these two orbs named Star and Light Orb, that are conveniently in the place that we have to go to anyway, right? Well, once we get them, this dick here- who is too lazy to do anything about his crazy ex-pupil will make magic out of it.

And this magic is like totally awesome, it explodes, and explosions just scare the shit out of Garnef apparently, even more so that they're cancerous rays of starlight, so we have to do that now.

Next Chapter- Screw you Gato and your Orb fetish, we want out Ariteaz back, our Ariteaz, we want it back.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Integrity]

...I just realized that Max HP is in two different places on the stats page.

wat.

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 13: Procrastination to Take One's Nation Back is Finally Put to an End

It wasn't really tragic, it was kind of funny, like watching a blindfolded Saji with a Steel Axe and 0 Skl/Spd trying to hit a pinata.

So anyway, since they're in the neighbourhood, Marth decides that this is the best time to lead the biggest assault yet- while everyone's morale is near zero from Garnef. You suck Marth.

Shows those right winged pricks right for spending all their funds on their army and not on gardeners n' shit to make things aesthetically pleasing!

Much like every other character with lines in this game.

Oh yeah, Aritia is trash man, look at all that greenery and blue water and stuff. Just what are they even thinking?

No Nina- the sole successor of the Governor of the entire continent, this is the Kingdom of Verdane. :/

Oh how silly of me, I seem to have misplaced pictures of the rest of his conversation!

So basically what happens in those misplaced pictures is he rehashes everything that happened up to now and tells people to do stuff, such as fight, so let us enter combat!

Chainy- Because we haven't had a feminine boy in a long time, due to all the other, more sexy people (see: Paola) join us. He can use swords when not displaying his unique ability which is pretty cool, I guess. Only, he keeps his HP when he transforms in this version, so no 18 HP to 40 HP in one move. :(

And we're back to lolbosses, after a nice break via Garnef, this rather lategame boss doesn't even have a bow or a Javelin to make up for his lolbossness. :/

A nice, pleasant walk through the field infested with a total of three low stat Dragon Knights leads us to this sickly looking chap.

"Certain reasons" a classy way of saying you suck.

Basically, there's two villages right beside each other in this who are silly and both harbour men who got discharged from wherever they're from because they suck, but don't have the balls to say so to Marth and the villages aren't good pals, so they go and do that.

Anyone have an idea on what two villages are going to be the most heavily taxed when Marth gets the throne back?

Alan- Hmm, next two chapters are going to be indoors, then the ones following are just unpleasant for late joining units... you know what, screw you.

-A reset later-

Aritea is the kind of place washouts go to retire.

Where have we heard this before?

Sigurd before his spin-off and if he was a washed out gladiator Samson- Holy Christ on a pogo stick, 17 Spd and double digits for most stats. With the Star Orb to come in two chapters, one could really make him into a bigger beast in no time, but I have four Mercs running around, I probably don't need another, no matter how badass he could potentially be.

Then all Hell breaks loose: if you didn't cover the four forts to the north, this happens for three turns straight, two of the enemy reinforcements being promoted Horsemen, the other two being generic Socials. There's also a couple of Armours and Socials who spawn to the south-east forts, but lol@Armours.

Also: Not the extra Axefighter, I decided randomly use an severely underleveled Barts, why the hell not?

So while everyone else deals with dem' reinforcements, Marth screws around and helps little boys out as usual.

Basically, Chainy here is a human Ditto, meaning he can turn into anyone, no Pollyjuice Potion needed.

All I wanted was Exp from the Heroes guarding you, but if you say so. =o

Right, so let's make use of this pimp daddy before we bench him.

Not being able to seize included. :(

"Not today, not tomorrow, not never" yeah, yeah, generic war cries make me a sad boy. :<

And thus begins the "Camus legacy", where no one can shut the fuck up about him for three chapters. Granted, it's worse in FE1 and 11 where there's an extra chapter of "Camus, Camus, Camus", but still.

Only then does he give his army a motivational speech after God knows how long they've been together.

That's Morodof's line he makes to make himself feel important though. D;

Next Chapter- Proof that Mamkutes do not have access to nail clippers, that one guy who haxxed the Dead Sea cameo, Mamkutes who who shoot MAGICAL fireballs (opposed to your run of the mill fire), trolly Bishops, treasure city and DUN DUN, who?

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[MasterJP28]

Didn't Sigurd come before Samson based on FE's time? Oh well he's still badass in this game. And can you post some images of your characters' stats so far? I would love to see how they're doing. Maji/Cord can do it all! Beast axe fighter turned to great Mage. I love using Cord as everything!

[Integrity]

Define "FE's time"? Samson predates Sigurd by several years.

[Thor Odinson]

Fire Emblem timeline, in which FE4/5 as games came out later, but the stories themselves take place predating those of FE1/3.

Kinda like FE6 and FE7, but more so, since FE4 and FE5 happened long before FE1 and FE3 took place.

Source

Edited August 1, 2011 by Luminescent Kitty

[Integrity]

...hm.

That honestly sounds like some sort of ridiculous throw-in, especially with no connections between the two, but okay. Thanks for clarifying.

[Shin]

He does seem oddly Sigurd-esque. Maybe they have the same plastic surgeon? That chin's a give away.

[Psych]

...hm.

That honestly sounds like some sort of ridiculous throw-in, especially with no connections between the two, but okay. Thanks for clarifying.

I think the way that made the most sense was like...

When Xane starts talking about the dragons going to sleep or crazy or whatever later in Book 2, that was during the Holy War with the crusaders. And then Vincent explained that the Fane of Ramon is the Dragon's gate in 7, so all three are actually tied together.

[Maji]

Didn't Sigurd come before Samson based on FE's time? Oh well he's still badass in this game. And can you post some images of your characters' stats so far? I would love to see how they're doing. Maji/Cord can do it all! Beast axe fighter turned to great Mage. I love using Cord as everything!

Unfortunately- as I said before, I did not take pictures of their stats in Book 1 because I never thought to do so until Dokutayuu requested, in which it was in Endgame. However, I did do so in Book 2, so rest assured Book 2 will be more involved gameplay as well opposed to just story like how I did Book 1.

Magi Maji (or Cord) ftw!

Fire Emblem timeline, in which FE4/5 as games came out later, but the stories themselves take place predating those of FE1/3.

Kinda like FE6 and FE7, but more so, since FE4 and FE5 happened long before FE1 and FE3 took place.

Source

Huh, interesting reading, I never knew Akaneia tied in with Jugdral, thank you for bringing that up, I always wondered if Narga was the same deity in FE3 and 4.

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 14: Badass Assault Combo Chain + 2

I suppose Marth is forgiven for messing up his assault streak by now.

And because it's a castle, gotta have babes guarded by dragons who also guard treasures. Yay treasure!

This Camus figure who apparently is so manly that he is the spawn of Chuck Norris now directs religious figures who are really Demon Dragons, why not?

Ah, the irony of Moses endorsing slavery and being cruel~.

Once again? Am I missing something? D; Oh well, this time we have a fire spewing bow as well as an army of Mercs!

Finally, a boss who is 1~2 Rg and Linda and Marich can't OHKO (because Demon Dragons negate magic)! Don't... mind his stats, they get sillier as he turns into a wtfdragon.

Right, so meet one of many of the problems in this level: these dicks.

He's the bigger threat out of the two Bishops and he ain't scared to fling that thing around if someone suffered like -1 DMG, and to make things cuter, they are stationed behind a wall guarded by a Sniper, and even more cute, they run like pansies (take one step away from the wall) if you get close.

In closing, FE3 now doesn't like you and is done with all the cute 1~1 Rg bosses as well as vulnerable enemy healers.

Second thing about this stage, conveniently guarded by high end enemy units. Granted, this isn't much of a problem since there is choke point a'plenty in this stage to stop the thieves, but a Hero, two Mages, a Sniper and a Mamkute all on your ass as you go to get your treasure back? O shi-.

archayanami's GameFAQs guide Posted:

1. Warp Staff

2. 7500G

3. Devil Sword

4. Orion Arrow

5. Knight Medal

6. Secret Book

7. Dragon Killer

They don't give details for some reason, but in FE1, Basilisk was a type of Mamkute race, much like the Narga race. I guess Mediuth doesn't care about you, leaving you in the middle of nowhere then? =o

Well, with those manicure nightmares, I wouldn't want to live being your captive either.

Thus begins Garnef's LOLOLOLOLOL PRINCESSES fetish, besides being a crazed man who is obsessed with his book, I like Garnef, he's silly.

Daily Double: What is a Dragon Killer Sword?

Aw fuck, his tail/entire lower body pierces the floor tiles, he means business. D;

Somehow, I forgot to use these, but now Doga means serious business. lol@+4 extra Movement.

Those certainly do not look like Worms.

After the treasure raid or should I say getting the treasure back from enemies, the other half of the army (so anyone not Linda, Marich and Doga) faces this dick.

And if you suck like me and fail to take the oh so blasphemous dragon out on the phase of opening the door, you have to deal with a swarm of four units consisting of Armours and Archers for ten turns. Like I said, FE3 is done screwing around.

Cute enough, EVERY (minus Mediuth) Mamkute boss capslock when they die because they think that their death will be cool if they do that.

Why do you only come out when the enemies are all dead, you wuss? D<

All four residents in that last chapter, and Alan, because Alan is a putz.

Lrn 2 better name people, Aritia.

Next Chapter: Loli strikes back!, Orb things, even more treasure to boost our ongoing spree and being forced to use an otherwise meh person.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[MasterJP28]

To me it sounds like Nagi was the one that gave Heim his holy blood. Holsety!Levin said that Narga took the form of a young girl.

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 15: D'aw- JESUS JOSE!

There was a chapter dedicated to slaughtering the shit out of them in FE1/11, but it got cut out in FE3 because of space issues or something, but all it is is people just fapping to Camus as usual.

So now we're going to go raid Narga's family jewels for the hell of it and because dat' Starlight spell n' all. Looting a holy temple for a just cause, FTW!

Oh god, Mercs and Mages, total hell Morodof. :/

Oh yeah, and a pissed off Goddess who shoots ice, well that's new!

Frankly, that's all we'll need, Holy Temples are lax on security in Goddess Season.

Except for Garnef, who is both:

A.) Obsessed with girls (nothing against that), so naturally, he has control of little Chiki here

B.) Scared shitless that someone might find out his weakness to the Starlight tome that he's been ranting about non-stop since we met him.

What's that supposed to-

Okay fine, last time I misjudge children in video games. :/

The only problem in this break-from-fighting chapter is the fact that a couple of dickish Thieves thought it was a good idea to loot the temple in the exact same moment as the Aritian Army for some reason, seeing as this temple housed treasure for thousands of years. So Linda shows them their place.

_archayanami_ (GameFAQs FE3 guide) posted:

1. Star Orb (GET THIS VERY IMPORTANT!)

2. Light Orb (GET THIS VERY IMPORTANT!)

3. Dragon Whip

4. Power Ring

5. Earth Orb!

6. Angel Clothes

7. 10000G

8. Bolgannon

9. Pure Water

10. Priest's Ring

So you probably want the Priest's Ring as that's one of few chances you get to promote Linda/Marich/Rena unless you go bug Anna at the ecret-say op-shay, and the stat boosters are always nice. The Star Orb is the reason why I love this chapter (hello auto 30% growths to everything to the person holding it!), it's what can make Jeigan be decent, and it makes Caesar kick ass. The Light Orb can go to hell.

We still get it though.

Who would've known that she was guarding the Holy Narga Temple this whole time, and not getting drunk elsewhere, eh?

And after a good smack across the face...

Our little Chi-Chi is ready to kick some ass Holy Dragon style!

Oh, just what happens every other Friday night: strange old men brainwash you and make you do their dirty business for them.

Chiki- Last seen giving Link the Fairy Ocarina, not to mention 99% of Chiki's artwork consists of her wearing mini skirts which is usually frightening. Draw attention to her base Spd, amusingly enough with a 90% chance to gain Spd, that one flaw about her gets patched up real quickly.

No boss fight because Chiki's dragon-y ass was on the throne, FTW!

Using his magical form of MSN, Gato now tells us to track him down, why can't he just teleport here? God knows he probably knows how to, it'd save a few countries in Marth's way if he did. :/

Gato's magic count: 2

If not, then fuck off, and good luck with Garnef, asshole. But we do, so he loves us.

That sounds like a:

Maph oh shi- count: 5

To go.. tend to his.. business with..... Ellis.

Don't ask how that works (Long ranged MBarrier, anyone?) but it's Gato, so we just smile and nod.

Gato's magic count: 3

Next chapter- we shamelessly crash into other countries on our way to meet Gato who's too damn lazy to come meet us, meet some figure who has been all the rave recently and Sheeda is a whore for the last time in Book 1.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Integrity]

Gotoh is a dick.

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 16: Camus, Camus, SPLAT!

So, this is one of the more dickish chapters IMO, like we raided and looted Gra because they killed Marth's dad, we caused a riot in Khadein because Garnef is silly, liberated Orleans, and.. we beat the shit out of Grunia because they're in the way, go Marth!

Last time you hear his name, appropriately, the weapon that they stole from Akaneia is the Gradivus, seeing as Generals can only equip Lances in this game.

Pfft, half the countries of Akaneia are hippies, one of them consists of shota with books, the other ones are Ma' fuckin' dragons and ride on them, I don't think there was much competition when this country is ruled by blond haired jocks on ponies and manly old men who a bomb vest at all times. (More on the last part much later in this LP.)

So, with all of Grunia's people like... that, we are off to stick some RAPEpier up their asses in hopes they become Nina's bitch, much like every other country she ordered Marth to wreck for her.

Wonder what sort of secret you were holding out on us this time?

"Camus, Camus, Camus", thankfully, we're off to shove a blade in him to stop this trend before it becomes Nyan-level of popularity.

So, inb4 Marth started crashing into things, Camus- who is a dog to the Durhua Empire ruled Pales n' shit and when it was Nina's turn for the chopping block, he saved her via telling her to gtfo, so she did, and became a hippy in Orleans like in Ch. 4, right?

Why is he only getting plot dump'd now? D;

So basically, it was kind of like a Miss. Honey -> Matilda -> Ms. Trunchbull thing going on here, only Miss. Honey is a pedo for Matilda, who Matilda has a thing for cute teachers, not creepy at all.

Then tell him to hand over that amazing lance before we have to pry it from his cold, dead fingers.

Oh you'll see him alright, you'll see him..

On the end of Doga's new Gradivus lance

Camus- Meet the hardest boss fight in Book 1, final boss included. Not only does he have silly stats (Dat Spd combined with Def), but he sits on a castle gate in this version to boost his Def and Avd more than it should be. Only 14 Atk you say? Well Gradivus- which is a 1~2 Rg weapon mind you offers 20 Mt onto that, so Mages will even have a hard time getting a cheap shot on him as he'd just give them a good manly golden lance to their unarmoured faces.

tl;dr- Camus is a prick with an extra 20 Avd and 2 Def thanks to terrain.

The main reason (besides having to deal with Camus) I don't like this chapters because this guy and his cronies throw Elephants at the group which offers 20 Mt to their offence. :(

Healbotting as ever, mister!

Yay, more Partia RAGGGGGGE! <3

Sorry Nina, doesn't repair your broken heart.

You need Major Hammer Blood to equip it, or be an apprentice to Rena apparently.

But wait! This village offers more than an epic staff to make Gordon and Thomas epic!

"But Camus, Camus, Camus"

I liked the FE11 rendition of when she crashed into Durhua and beat the shit outta everything before taking the Miracle Sword from them.

I'm sure Camus is older than you.

You bet your seventeen year old pink ass my Merc named Caesar can equip it!

Est (or somewhere halfway down this thread x 10)- I like the concept of a seventeen year old girl beating the shit out of an entire empire, but if her name isn't Sara, then Est sadly gets benched..

See all those forts up there? Well, there's four more down there, one to the south-east, two to the west, this chapter is silly like that.

Because Camus is manly like that, he is able to have a pleasant conversation with Marth despite the fact that he's a forest away from him.

Oh he'll drop that sword of his, but he ain't gonna drop that lance anytime soon..

Apparently not, seeing as you and your own rendition of the Idiot Squad only just started attacking/being part of the plot a few chapters ago. :/

Oh, so now this man is now Garnef and Jiol, sure, why not?

Good God, I hate Camus archetypes and their Camus'y ways.

Oh you will try...

But then, OH SHI- DRAGON OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE!

I don't like Camus.

Enemy's morale.. farewell...

The plot bombs of this chapter aren't even over yet!

Only unlike the putz Camus, he gladly joins the winning team.

Lawrence- If half the enemies weren't Mamkutes who negate Def anyway, and Doga didn't promote like he didn't in FE1, he'd have much more use than he is. Other than that, he makes a pretty wall flower.

JUST SEIZE THE GODDAMN GATE ALREADY MARTH!

One more late plot bomb and we'll crash into Macedonia to meet Gato.

FE has this thing where they like having a girl in the game who really likes apologizing (also looking at Ethlin and Mareeta on this one)

And that is the Curse of the Fire Emblem in a nutshell (also so SF doesn't let me post because I went over the img count).

OH NO, SHEEDA!

Next Chapter- It seems that Macedonia left their gates wide open for us to crash into, so we don't have to go through a big annoying battle, instead we go right through and give Mishiel a piece of our minds and Minerva doesn't get revenge.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Maji]

Book 1 Chapter 17: Camu- Oh Yeah.. Misheil, Misheil, Misheil

Anyone remember those two? If not, Maria really isn't important yet, and Minerva is the girl with big tits on the dragon who wants to kill her brother cause he's silly like that.

And killed his dad for power and kicked his sisters out of the country, lemme at him!

Compared to the horrors of last chapter and Camus and his terrible, terrible 1~2 Rg fuckstick, this is nothing. Resistance to arrows thanks to a shield you say? Well, it can't stop the wind tomes.~ Lol1~1 Rg.

Why is he still getting Exp despite being at Lv. 20? D;

So we begin this chapter by Mishiel being a nice person and evacuating people from Marth the Tyrant's rage, but Gato decides to be a dick as usual and call him out on things.

You against the world, buddy.

Their whole family is creepy like that, Maria gets involved later too.

In a nutshell, Macedonia is sort of like Macbeth, in that Garnef is the Witches, Mishiel is Macbeth, his dad is Duncan, Minerva and Maria are those Prince figures and Marth is big Macduff, ready to chop Misheil's head off n' shit. And Maji and Marich are Birnam Wood moving to Dunsinane Castle.

If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then should've paid more attention in Grade 10, Macbeth was my favourite mandatory Shakespeare reading back in high school.

Even so, should have at least got a Javelin or something, even if Marth did have an army of Archers, you're just going to be a sitting duck against everything. :/

Gato- who is a nice, mellow man most of the time is not lovin' this shit at all.

He's fucking pissed man, what did you do, Mishiel?!

Then he just sort of sulks back to Macedonia castle while yelling at anyone who looks at him with Gato giving him the finger in the background.

So, while screwing around the mountains, Sheeda finds some sort of contraption (mainly due to her lack of fighting seeing as she isn't needed on the map anymore with everyone she needs to recruit recruited).

This is the ONLY place where you can find excess promotional items by the way, so if you don't go here, then bam! No promoted Linda and Rena and no Thomas or half of the Mercs.

The big dick thing Mishiel does to make up for his 1~1 Rg is he actually moves off the throne for once in FE3 boss history, AND travels in packs with a bunch of other promoted units, still not as bad as Camus.

But, Chiki doesn't like overly dramatic men, so she freezes him under three stories of ice alongside Camus. I love you Chiki, don't ever change.

Because "I'll be in a village somewhere in Macedonia" was totally specific, so Marth knew exactly where to go.

Gotta add that it's the only thing that can thwart Garnef's Maph.

Maph o shi- count: 6

EXPLOSIONS, LINDA'S TITS AND OUTER SPACE, MANLY SHIT RIGHT THERE!

Minus Linda.

With our grenade launcher in hand, we can now do something opposed to running around crashing parties like what we've been doing thus far!

Much like any awesome RE weapon, this bad boy only has a little ammo, so don't miss Garnef! D;

Already? Haven't we've been looking for this place for like three chapters already?

Hmm.. who would've known that it would be in the area where Garnef rules? :/ You suck, Morodof.

But, but, Morodof is a good guy! And you sort of missed that line when it comes to Meduith ruling the world, cause he sort of is at the moment...

Next chapter- Manly explosions, everyone magically promotes (finally), not so convincing clones, and Harry Potter epic duels all over again, only without Bellatrix to make things awesome.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Maji

[Integrity]

Man, Gotoh got PISSED.