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The Noobiest Playthrough Of All Time

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Hello, Hippoman here, and I'm about to embark on my first playthrough thread! Is it on Lunatic?


Oh. So, a solo run?


It's a whopping Normal mode playthrough. Yeah, nothing bold here. But, I think I'm kinda funny, and hopefully you'll think I'm kinda funny, so here we go. I'll update with post prologue stats and Chapter 1 soon (absolutely nothing of interest happened in prologue. Athena/Cain if you must know).

Rules: No Rainbow Potion

No reclassing to fliers to cheese some early chapters

Arena is fair game

I must recruit EVERYONE (OCD)


-Marth (duh), Female Myrmidon (might rc to Merc) MU, Ryan, Sirius, Barst, Ogma, Navarre, Ellerean, Feena, Shii/Shee/Cae/da, Pirate!Draug, and Mallesia.

If there's a specific unit you want me to use for the lolz or something go ahead and post, and I'll do my best to cater to your interests.

Edit: This post changed my badge to Nephenee, good luck inc.

Edit 2: Sheeda, Navarre, and Ellerean switched out for Katarina, Malice, and Etzel

Edited by Hippoman
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^ My wi-fi team and in my Lunatic run I used katarina.

In the former she capped everything except luck and in the latter she was and awesome Bishop. There is a reason why she is in Unique utility in tier

She has those outstandings growths, these makes her capable of wining some 7 in lv ups, but that is another story... >_>

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Myrm>SM Gordin and/or Whatever>SM Belf. If it worked for me, it can work for anyone.

Edited by Furetchen
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well you can't reclass a Female to Mercenary...


I fail. But I've taken the suggestions, and have changed the

lineup thusly:

Sheeda changed to Katarina

Navarre switched to Malice

Ellerean switched to Etzel

IDK where to sneak Astram in, but I'll make sure he gets in at least 3 chapters.


Chapter 1

The Grustian Expedition

Doo doo doo...

don't know Japanese...Jeigan is babbling and HEY LOOK BAD GUYS


Marth, MU, Ryan, Draug

Turn 1: Draug doubles the top left Barbarian,

while MU takes the middle one for a shitty level up. Marth advances

towards the village and kills the rightmost Barb on enemy phase. Ryan

stands there and looks stupid.

Turn 2: Strange Man In Cave babbles in Japanese. Ryan apparently jumps on a nearby house and shoots him, one shot with a forged Steel Bow (+3 or 4 MT, i forget gee_wiz_emoticon.gif ). Marth shoots the breeze with an old lady and recruits a healer, while Draug embarrasingly misses a 79%, so MU has to deal the final blow on the first Hunter.

Turn 3: Draug and MU move to bait the rest of the enemies while Ogma escapes (The Proud Commander Count: 1). Marth follows right behind. Draug smashes two people's faces in on enemy phase.

Turn 4: Draug runs like hell tactically retreats for a Heal stave use while Ryan takes out the 2nd hunter with the HURRDURR (Steel Bow Forge, named after my own incompetence in my last run). MU informs the remaining enemies that their mothers are so fat they can only reclass to Cav if they're willing to walk on all fours. Barbarians are not amused, but die soon afterwards.

Turn 5: 3rd Hunter loses his life to HURRDURR and Ryan gets a nice level out of it.

Turn 6: Marth tells Lorenz all about how he heard Cars 2 was TERRIBLE. Lorenz explodes in protest. (TPC Count: 2). Mallesia heal grinds.

Turn 7: Marth seizes, reveals cunningly that he hasn't even seen Cars 2 yet. Old Man hands over a Mend Staff and Marth scares children with his creepy tiara. PedoLang shows up and takes the kids. Marth expresses his rage through "..."'s and "!"'s.


Synopsis: Eh, that was alright. Nothing special, probably could have gotten a way lower turn count, but w/e.

Chapter 2

We open on a CG of Minerva in jail for being a redhead with a green headband. Clashing is taken very seriously in Macedonia.

Pre Battle Stuff: I get buddy points with Arran and Mallesia. Marth comes by because I guess he's jealous that they both have more ridiculous hairdos, which makes him so mad he gets +2 Str and Def. Support with Ryan, and Marth tells MU about Michalis being a total dick, but the Whitewings being his bros. I sell all lances but the Silver, considering that only Sirius is going to be able to use them.

Deployed: The usual and Arran, to lure people with his massive cowlick

Turn 1: Catria joins the party! I blow into my DS about 5 times because the damn R button doesn't work so I can't close the tutorial. Marth immediately gets Cord (who never said a word to him throughout the entirety of the first game). Cord runs and hides in the woods.

Turn 2: Warren engages MU, but misses. In shame, he joins our party. Catria weakens an enemy soldier (Haven't seen you guys since RD...) and Draug continues his Early Game Godliness against another. I mop up the Hunters with Marth. Draugs Kryptonite shows as a sword welding Cav smacks him down.

Turn 3: One Draco baited, Marh kills a Cav, and Arran moves up to guard Mallesia from the Draco. MU gets another level here, as does Draug.

Turns 4-6: MU, Marth, Catria, and Ryan approach very slowly as not to startle the local mole rat population (Insert Arran's Hair joke here)

Turn 7: Ryan kills off the last Draco

Turn 8: HURRDURR claims yet another victim in this boss. I...uh...accidentally forget to move Marth to the throneFacepalm_emote_gif.gif

Turn 9: Nowwwww Marth is on the throne. Hurrah!

Linde was chilling in the palace for little to no reason. Also she stole the Fire Emblem for us! This hunk of metal will effectively replace Julian.


...can someone tell me how to make the little stat tables? I said this was gonna be nooby, didn't I?

Tune in Next Time for: ISLAND COURAGE!

Edited by Hippoman
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Is it possible to like record videos of the chapters for youtube or something? I know it's not exactly easy or optimal, but it makes it more interesting to follow, plus there is not enough footage of this game in my opinion. I know though that many people who did playthroughs of this game didn't though, so no problem if you don't, it just makes it more fun in my opinion.

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Is it possible to like record videos of the chapters for youtube or something? I know it's not exactly easy or optimal, but it makes it more interesting to follow, plus there is not enough footage of this game in my opinion. I know though that many people who did playthroughs of this game didn't though, so no problem if you don't, it just makes it more fun in my opinion.

I would love to do vids with commentary, but I lack the means to record it. I'm using a legit copy, and not an emu, so Hypercam won't work. The other option is trying to film a DS and play it while wrangling a hand camera, and that'd be a disaster. I'll try to be more descriptive though. But if you want to see the whole game done with commentary, I know Colonel_M_ has it up on YT, and it's played much better than I can.

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Chapter 3 Start!

Pre Battle: Marth gets a stat boost to spd and luck (again O.O), Mallesia gets 21 exp, MU (she needs an official name, I'm taking suggestions) gets 20, and Draug the manly pirate gets 30. Suck it Mallesia! Mallesia heals her throbbing ego by supporting MU.

Also we get our first glimpse of Julian and Lena/Rena/StaffBot. "We gotta get out of the Teeth, and we gotta do it yesterday!"


Usual+Arran to bait Dracos if needed.

Palla and Julian tease me by appearing Blue at the start, but the thief immediately runs into a village. We get Palla though...notthatI'musingher. Oh no! A Stonehoist! Also, Matthis is in the middle of the map.

Turn 1: None of this Bridge Key crap for me. Turncounts are for squares. We begin our slow march around the spiral.

Turn 2: Remember when I said I wasn't using Palla? I lied, that thief up top is running straight for Julian's hidey-hole. He is immediately eliminated and drops a Steel Sword. More walking to the left, while Palla kills a Cavalier on enemy phase.

Turn 3: Marth moves a grand total of one damn space to get the bottom village and its...Bridge Key. Do these work on doors too?

Turn 4: Michalis appears! (TPC Count: 3) He talks to the boss and rescues Minerva before we can. Also I find it totally amusing that Michalis, who just about DIED is in better shape than Minerva ATM. More walking West as some Cavaliers chase Palla right into my trap...

Turn 5: Arran and MU are moving much faster than the others.

Turn 6: Another Village, another character. Bord has always looked about 5 years old to me, I think it's that "I'm trying so friggin hard to poop" face he has all the time. Enemy phase gives Draug first blood of the main party, upping him to level 9 after taking out 2 cavaliers.

Turn 7/8: These Dracos are taunting me. I just know it.

Turn 9: I just can't take it anymore! I have palla go beat down some Dracoknights in the mountains. They rush Marth, but he manages to endure their hits.

Turn 10: I save the last of the Western Dracos for Ryan. All that's left are the 4 eastern Dracoknights, Matthis, the stonehoist, and 3 weak cavaliers. Oh, and the boss of course.

And the rest of the chapter is just cleanup, but due to some mistakes on my part. MU tanks the Dracos (Julian gets a kill on one of them), I get Matthis and Julian, and finish on Turn...ugh...22.

Lang comes, but Jeigan tells him to piss off. But suddenly....GAIDEN.

Chapter 3 Synopsis: URRRGGGGGHHHHHH. So many little things like misses and enemy crits cost me way too much time. Also, Marth always being about a step away from a village. But hey, enemies routed.

Chapter 3X Start!

We are in the smallest, most pathetic valley I have ever seen. At least Wrys is here. 'Sup Baldy!

Prebattle: Poor Arran. He's sick, so sick that MU is wearing a surgical mask. Support and done.

Deployed: The Usual, and Julian so he gets a few kills, making it easier on me to recruit Lena later.

Turn 1: The rapier just loves Armor Knights. Come at me, bros. (Annoyingly, Draug gets access to the Hammer AFTER they are dead. Wrys hides.

Turn 2: Mallesia's first level up is a really bad one (just HP).

Turn 3: The team rushes forwards to rescue Wrys. An additional Armor appears from a fort.

Turn 4: Marth finally gets that Knight off of Wrys's tail.

Turn 5: Mallesia and Ryan are REALLY lagging behind Movement wise

Turn 6: Marth and Julian team up with Iron Swords to kill the second to last Knight.

Turn 7: MU and Marth rush the "boss"

Turn 8: Seized.

Chapter 3X Synopsis: I don't have much to say. I think that was fairly efficient, I might have been able to shave off a turn or two if I didn't bungle Wrys's rescue. I opt to keep MU's hair attached to her head.

Stats N' Crap!

Marth Level 10: 30HP/11Str/0Mag/13Skl/12Spd/12Luck/9Def/1Res

Eh, I've seen him do much better.

MU Level 12: 29HP/8Str/0Mag/20Skl(!)/18Spd/14Luck/9Def/1 Res

Skill capped? Sweeeeettt.

Ryan Level 10: 26HP/13Str/0Mag/13Skl/9Spd/8Luck/8Def/0Res

He's still a little to reliant on the HURRDURR for armored foes, but I like that Strength...

Mallesia Level 2: Base stats plus 1 HP

Ack! I've been totally ignoring her! I hope I won't have to heal grind...

Pirate!Draug Level 10: 26HP/13Str/6Skl/16Spd/5Luck/5Def

He's gonna need a Secret Book, maybe a Dracoshield. Good thing Chapter 11 has both.

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