You Read My White Version Adventure

[Ein]

Beginning stuff:

"Are you a boy or a girl?"

...Girl--NO WAIT! Boy. Yeah... That's what I meant.

Then I name said boy Ein because ha.

More stuff happens and Cheren and Bianca barge into my room like jerks except I don't mind Bianca because she makes my heart hurt.

I pick Snivy and name him Smugleaf because I'm clever.

I kick Bianca's ass and then Cheren wants to battle too even though my room is now a mess.

I battle and he gets a goddamn critical leaving Smugleaf at 5 HP so my only hope right now is my own critical which is highly unlikely.

Luckily for me Cheren's an idiot and uses Growl so I'm all like, "You dumbass." and Smugleaf smugs his Tepig.

Now for more story stuff.

Apparently I'm an idiot and have to be shown how to catch Pokemon from sexy professor over there but I don't mind very much because she's hawt.

More story stuff and I can now catch my Pokemanz.

First town.

I'm shown how to use the Poke Center and how to buy stuff because I'm an idiot still. Great...

Even MORE story stuff.

A band of people are out giving some kind of speech about how people enslave Pokes and how we should release them or some crap while I'm left wondering why the police isn't checking them out considering they're being investigated anyway.

You would think that a shady organization named TEAM PLASMA would warrant some kind of police presence when they're out giving speeches to keep an eye on them since as we all know any organization with TEAM in their name is obviously good.

Then that sexy hat dude challenges me because he's jealous of my sexy hat and I kick his ass with my level 6 Smugleaf.

More traveling and now second town.

Turns out the Gym Leader isn't around because he's out studying or something. How is he a Gym Leader anyway? And what does it take to be a Gym Leader anyway considering even stupid kids can be Gym Leaders.

Pokemon makes no sense then again Japan.

So Cheren is in the school and wants to battle me. I kick his ass because he's too busy reading. Idiot...

Now to face the Gym Leader. Only the Gym is a restaurant with a puzzle and I'm all whoa.

One waiter down and then the cute waitress. I heal up and kick Chili's ass because I want my baby back ribs and his parents were rather clairvoyant because holy hell were they spot on in naming their kids.

More traveling.

I beat up all of the kids in the day care because that's how I roll and yes I'm aware I skipped the Munna part. Sue me. Actually don't. I don't have anything anyway so ha.

My memory is all foggy right now...

I beat up some Team Plasma moops and I wonder why they don't use firearms do commit crimes. You would think that would more effective than using level 10 Patrats but what do I know.

Whilst still in the came cave I come across a Roggenrola and I catch the little guy and name him No Moss. Get it? A rolling stone gathers no moss? Eh?

Sorry...

[eclipse]

"You've got red hair, so you're Chili. You look like you came from a Tales game, so you're Cress. And you. . .you smell bad, so you're Cilan."

Or, at least, that's how I envisioned their parent's naming choices.

[Ein]

"You've got red hair, so you're Chili. You look like you came from a Tales game, so you're Cress. And you. . .you smell bad, so you're Cilan."

Or, at least, that's how I envisioned their parent's naming choices.

Why you gotta mention Tales of?

[Elieson]

I beat up all of the kids in the day care because that's how I roll

And I'm reminded again of why I love ya

[eclipse]

Why you gotta mention Tales of?

Cress is the name of the main hero in Tales of Phantasia.

[Elieson]

I thought it was Chester :P

[Emeraldfox]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You should have named him Brovy.

Keep going, and catch a Petlil for two grass types in your team, like a bro.

[Ein]

I don't even remember what happened after this morning.

I have the 1st badge and got to the place with the 2nd Gym.

Incidentally, the female trainers are adorable. Especially the Twins and School Kid. :3

Uh... Let's see.

I go to the 2nd Gym and sexy hat guy bumps into me and challenges me.

Unfortunately for him my hat is sexier. And I have better Pokes in the form of a Smugleaf and No Moss.

More lame Gym puzzles later and kick Aloe's ass with my No Moss because he's HARDCORE! Get it? Too easy...

Oh yeah. Team Plasma shows up and steals the Dragonite skull.

Aloe and Burgh decide to NOT call the police and enlist the help of three sexy 16 year olds.

I assume they're 16 because they look older but knowing Japan they're 8. Yup.

So yeah. To Pinwheel Forest place.

Burgh says something about blocking the exit instead of calling the police because who needs law enforcement when you have the help of a sexy 16 year old. Mmhmm.

Unfortunately for me random Trainers think it's a good idea to impede my march whilst pursuing Team Plasma because the Pokemon world has no sense of urgency.

I take this time to search for my next party member Petilil. And I find one after 2 seconds.

I catch my new friend in a Heal Ball and name her Sexy Plant.

So with Sexy Plant in my party I track down all of the Team Plasma moops and kick their ass and find the Dragonite skull.

Now for more progress.

Uh... I THINK you cross the bridge by running through it because there's no such thing as a subway system that isn't used for Poke battles. Yes. The subway system is not used for its intended purpose but instead used as an arena to stage cock fights that are hazardous to everyone inside and around said subway. Aye...

So now for 3D town place.

I go to the desert and find of those red round furry guys. I catch the little guy and name her Ms. Smiles. Yay~

Since training in the dessert, teehee, suuuuuucks. I return to Pinwheel Forest and search for Audinos to brutally slaughter for delicious experience. And I catch a Sawk but I forget to nickname him Bruce so that will have to wait. And I deposited Smugleaf because the three Unova starters suuuuuuck.

I took a break and ended up watching Ip Man 2 with my friends which was FUCKING AWESOME!

You should all watch Ip Man. Watch it damn it.

After a hilarious training montage that lasts 20 episodes like any terrible shonen anime I now have an okay party of death.

Some more plot related shenanigans such as, rescuing Bianca's Munna, kicking Team Plasma's ass again, beating down Burgh's flamboyant ass, and other stuff that isn't too important. Eyup.

So now my current Poke party is as follows:

Lv. 26 No Moss

Lv. 25 Ms. Smiles

Lv. 24 Sexy Plant

Lv. 16 Sawk

Patrat

Panpour

I'm thinking about using my AR to hack in all of the items, TMs/HMs, berries, and Poke Balls because yes.

[Ein]

Jeezus. I forgot how addicting Pokemon is. >_>

So what has occurred?

Hm... Oh right. I defeated Burgh and got the third Gym Badge.

After doing that I go North to the desert and Bianca challenges me and she is promptly defeated.

I love how she tugs her hat~

Through the desert I go and look around the Desert Resort for a TM or something. There was a TM but I forget what it was. It wasn't the Dig TM I was hoping for to teach Dig to No Moss. Sad.

So I end up in Nimbasa and stuff... happens. I forget.

Alls I know is that at this point I regret not going with White so I can ship her and N like I would normally do because shut up so that the ferris wheel scene wouldn't make me think awesome homoerotic thoughts which were awesome nonetheless. I'm pairing Black with Bianca anyway so heh.

Another thing that happened was Bianca's father actually giving a damn about his 16 year old daughter traveling on her own and then Elesa shows up and I'm like, "Oh--OH GOD! Why are you so thin?! I know you're a super model and you HAVE to be thin but... MY GOD! You're like 2 pixels wide it makes me feel uneasy..."

That and she looks like an adult Rin WHICH IS NOT COOL! SO! You can tell I dun really care for Elesa. But she is cute in an unnaturally thin adult Rin kind of way...

Er...

So... Elesa says some stuff and Bianca's father is now cool with his 16 year old daughter traveling by herself because she has tiny creatures of death and destruction by her side which is coolio.

Now to kick Elesa's ass but first, more annoying Gym puzzles.

NOW! I'm not one to complain... Except when I do and that's when things become interesting. BUT! I dun really like this Gym. Must be the waiting and junk. Eh.

Now I know how much people bitch about Elesa and her Volt Switching but luckily I don't suck so she goes down without much of a problem other than No Moss being knocked out because I wasn't paying attention and used an attack I didn't mean to use. ;/

Oh yeah. I evolved Sexy Plant at level 28 so she could learn Quiver Dance when she did but I replaced Sleep Powder with Stun Spore thinking I could have her relearn it. Turns out she can't which is all kinds of alsasklckwnlqwkn.

So now to Driftveil with a theme that gives off some kind of oriental feel of some kind... Must be because I've played too much Crash Bandicoot 3 a lot when I was a young Ein as I replayed those baby tiger levels over and over and over to get the Platinum Relic because I'm hardcore.

I searched for a Ducklett for about and... hour I believe for Fly and Surf slaving. Worth it.

Once in Driftveil the Gym Leader is all mad because the Plasma grunts he caught escaped somehow so now it's up to Cheren and I to find them.

Wait a minute... I think Cheren challenged me before I reached the bridge and handed him his ass quite handily because he suuuuuuuuucks. Then Alder showed up and is like sup and character development occurs. Kinda. It's a Pokemon game after all.

So I was thinking. Chargestone Cave is North of Driftveil which means my next party member is near by and head up there.

Only to find that a mama Galvantula doesn't want me to catch one of her brood much to my dismay.

I believe this emoticon conveys my feelings:

indeed.

Now to the Khold Storage. And I found the Plasma grunts and stuff happened so NOW Clay will accept my challenge.

And I defeat him rather easily because I have Sexy Plant and Bruce. Oh yeah. I nicknamed my Sawk Bruce. Maybe I should nickname him Ip Man because Ip kicks so much ass while being humble it's awesome.

So now to Chargestone! :3

And stuff happens... I forget.

I know Juniper and Bianca were there and I get the Lucky Egg.

Spent half hour looking for a Joltik with Compoundeyes. Named the adorable little tick Cuddlebug because she's my cuddlebug.

Which brings me to my next tangent.

Joltik. Most. Adorable. Pokemon. EVER!

Do not argue with this for you will only fail. In something in some way some how. I'll figure that out later.

Ninjas, random trainers, and sexy hat dude.

N is defeated rather soundly so now for Mistralton.

BUT! I can't challenge the other sexualized Gym Leader until I ring a bell in a graveyard. ...Cool?

To the graveyard spiral tower I go and trainers are there to challenge me because they don't care whether their or my Pokes' damage the graves of the deceased Pokes in some way. GENIUS!

So I ring the bell, catch a Litwick, and decide not to train it because I evolved Ms. Smiles not too long ago and she hits like a goddamn train of death.

So Skyla. Stupid name. Also her Gym. Also kind of annoying...

You would think a launching people through cannons would be a bad thing but humans in the Pokemon world have bones made of steel so smashing your face against a wall at 30 mph is nothing.

Skyla was no challenge at all.

No Moss Rock Slided everything to death and Cuddlebug electreded her Swanna to death so yeah...

Now for Twist Mountain but not until Cheren challenges me. AGAIN. I hand him ass again so quickly it's become more of a nuisance whenever he thinks he can beat me. Ugh...

At least Alder gave me HM 3. Sweet~

With Surf in hand I go to that one cave with Cobalion. Catch an Axew with MOLD BREAKER and nickname him Umbriel. I capture Cobalion with a few Dusk Ball on my second attempt because Cuddlebug beat it with a Volt Switch critical.

Now for Verizon--I mean Virizion.

Virizion proofed to be more of a challenge to capture since it ended up fainting five of my Pokes except for Cuddlebug. Caught the green bastard in a Heal Ball after chucking 12 Ultra Balls. And I only needed one Heal Ball... I guess Emerald is rubbing of on me... Hm.

Through Twist Mountain I go and end up in Icirrus City. Bought the Thunder TM and taught it to Cuddlebug to spam Thunder.

After beating the ice dude something goes down in Dragonspiral Tower.

Ms. Smiles beasted on EVERYONE it was awesome.

So as of now my party is as follows:

Lv. 44 Cuddlebug the Galvantula

Lv. 41 No Moss the Boldore

Lv. 41 Umbriel the Faxure

Lv. 41 Ms. Smiles the Darmanitan

Lv. 41 Sexy Plant the Lilligant

Lv. 38 Bruce the Sawk

A Ducklett for Fly and Surk usage and a Patrat for Cut usage.

No Moss knows Strength and I KINDA want to evolve him now... Any volunteers? >_>

Edited March 20, 2012 by Ein Silver Rose

[Kon]

I'll be willing to trade you, although I've never used the GTS before.

[Ein]

Man... I can't seem to set up my Wi-Fi connection for my DS.

I've had this problem before and I wasn't able to resolve it until it randomly started to work for some reason but yeah...

As much as it pains me I'm gonna have to drop No Moss unless one of my friends helps me out then again I don't think Gigalith would help very much for the end game as much as I love the guy. sadface

[Kon]

Aw man that blows. Sorry I can't really help you with that. :c

[Ein]

Alrighty.

Now to explore the Desert Ruins or something to find the Dark Stone.

Which I do.

I mostly used Sexy Plant because the Grunts had Krokoroks most of the time so her Magical Leaf did quick work of them.

I don't recall much happening here here other than when you get jumped by four Grunts but Ms. Smiles took care of them rather easily.

So now back to Nacrene City to get the Dark Stone which is convenient.

Through Tubeline Bridge I go but ninjas and Ghetsis are waiting for me so he can tell me stuff I wasn't paying attention too since by now the player can tell he's the last boss already since it's painfully obvious by this point.

Route 9 has that one theme that peeps seem to like. I don't think it's anything special since it's not a battle theme.

Once in Opelucid City more plot related shenanigans and Iris is gonna be my challenger instead of Drayden's manly as fuck beard.

But before that... Training.

Umbriel is fully evolved by now and the Opelucid Gym is a cake walk despite Iris having a level 43 Haxorus. Hax indeed. So now I have 8 shiny badges.

Oh right. Before challenging the 8th Gym I caught a Rufflet with Sheer Force and named him Ike for obvious reasons. I didn't know Rufflet had another ability other than Keen Eye so Sheer Force is fine by me.

Now for Victory Road but of course freakin Cheren has to prove to me just how annoying he can be by challenging to a battle. Ugh... At least he heals my Pokes after the battle and Bianca gives me some Max Revives so that was kinda cool.

To summarize the whole Rival crap in B/W. Cheren sucks in so many ways and Bianca sucks just as much but at least she's fun. Pokemon needs another asshole Rival like Gary/Blue and Silver. Then again they were idiots too... Huh...

I navigated the Victory Road without much problems. Caught a Deino because they're cute and a Durant whom I named Dick Pinch because I was planning on using him but decided not to in the end so my male opponent's dicks are safe. For now...

Also, I caught Terrakion. Umbriel knocked its HP down to 1 with a few Slashes and a False Swipe with Sexy Plant paralyzed it. 8 Dusk Balls later Terrakion is mine.

Upon reaching the Pokemon League I decide to level up a bit and evolve Ike so that he can fight for his friends a little better and have him remember Superpower because I figured I'm already overkill against Dark types that I may as well make it even more so.

So my final party is as follows:

Lv. 50 Umbriel the Haxorus with the following moveset:

Dragon Dance

Slash

Rock Slide

Dragon Claw

Lv. 54 Ike the Braviary with the following moveset:

Shadow Claw

Rock Slide

Fly

Superpower

Lv. 50 Ms. Smiles the Darmanitan with the following moveset:

Rock Slide

Superpower

Trash

Flare Blitz

Lv. 50 Cuddlebug the Galvantula with the following moveset:

Signal Beam

Sucker Punch

Thunderbolt

Thunder

Lv. 50 Sexy Plant the Lilligant with the following moveset:

Quiver Dance

Stun Spore

Giga Drain

Petal Dance

I'll probably teach Cuddlebug Volt Switch or Thunder Wave to replace Thunderbolt.

I'm mostly worried about the... Well all four of the Elite Four because last time I owned this game they were kind of actually somewhat challenging on my first run. Hopefully I can handle them a little better and not rely on 3 Dragon Dances plus Dragon Claw from Haxorus.

Edited March 21, 2012 by Ein Silver Rose

[Ein]

Uh... Pokemon League. Yeah.

Threw down with Shuantal first.

Her coffin dude proved to be an annoying wall but Ike managed to take it down even after she Full Restored it because the E4 loves to Full Restore. ;/

As for the rest of her party, they went down without much of a problem with Umbriel taking down her last Poke since he has the Amulet Coin and I wanna get payed.

Next up is Grimsley but Ike and Ms. Smiles have Superpower and punch everything. Haxorus once again takes down his last Poke which was a Liepard which makes me wonder whether Liepard is a Dark type since I barely remember it even exists unless I run into it somehow.

Next up is... the Fighting type guy. I honestly don't recall his name. Uh... yeah... >_>

His Throh wasn't much of a problem. Ike took him out with two attacks. Sexy Plant took out his Sawk out with two Giga Drains. Sawk was faster than Sexy Plant AND it got TWO criticals! TWO! Luckily Sexy Plant managed to tank both hits thanks to the first Giga Drain. His purple Mienshoo evolution thing was up next and Ms. Smiles Flare Blitz'd it to death with Sheer Force goodness. Mmhmm.

Conkeldurr was a dick and critcaled my Umbriel to death. Blargh. BUT! Ike took it down because he fights for his friends. OH YEAH! That's two Smash Bros. Ike jokes! Suck it everyone else.

Last but certainly not least is Caitlin~

Her hair is HUGE and I happen to have a thing for characters with HUGE hair due to reasons and all that. But my god is her hair impractical... Must be her psychic powers that allow her to take care of it so well... Also, I read all of her dialogue in Rachel Alucard's English voice... Yeah...

ANYWAY!

She starts off with a Reinuclis or whatever that cellular Poke is called. Cuddlebug dealt a critical with Sucker Punch but the stupid cell thing was too bulky and survived despite a critical hit. Caitlin used a Full Restore and I had Cuddlebug Signal Beam it which also criticaled but ALSO didn't knock it out because the stupid thing is bulky as fuck. No wonder people hate dealing with it in competitive play. snargleblargh

Caitlin then sends out the goth Poke that Mai should totally have instead of an Arcanine because yes. I have Cuddlebug stick around and Signal Beam it to death. No idea what her other Pokes are. Alls I know is that Umbriel showed up and died again because of a damn critical. UMBRIEL! Why you no have Garchomp-esque bulk?!

Any who. Caitlin goes down which makes me all kinds of sad.

Time to take out Alder right? Haha. No.

APPARENTLY, N was getting Gym Badges too because how else was he allowed into the Pokemon League?

A giant castle is erected, teehee, around the Poke League because no one noticed a bunch of people building a a large castle near the Pokemon League because APPARENTLY heavy machinery is absolutely silent.

Into the castle I go. I learn about some stuff about N and I'm all super sad about N being all kinds of the typical super isolated anime kid. ;~;

Turns out the ninjas that point you to the direction you are going to go have no soul like all good ninjas and Ghetsis is an asshole. Go figure.

EPIC RESHIRAM USING ITS FIRES OF DOOM TO INSTANTLY EVAPORATE THE WATER IN THE AREA BUT FOR SOME REASON DOESN'T VAPORIZE YOU OR N SCENE!

Then is all like, "lul your not-having-an-uber noobness proves your no hero."

And Zekrom gets PISSED OFF and it has its own EPIC scene of epicness.

Then I have to catch it. Which I do. In a Luxury Ball because Legendary Pokes deserve nothing but the best.

Now for the final N battle.

His Reshiram gets parahaxed by Zekrom's Dragonbreath and is soundly defeated even after it got Full Restored which was kind of annoying.

He sent out Kilnkklank at some point which got a Superpower to the face from Ike but it turned out to be his Zoroark which has a suspiciously similar hairstyle to N but that's not important. What IS important is why Game Freak made Klinkklank N's last Pokemon for Zoroark to get Fighting typed to death anyway. That sure was smart...

With N defeated Ghetsis decides that he wants to be the real final boss because he's a Mr. I Wanna Take Over the World guy.

Not much of note happened in the battle against Ghetsis. Ms. Smiles did Superpower his Bouffalant which Wild Charged her knocking each other out.

I decided to set up at this point and brought out Umbriel to use Dragon Dance twice against his Seismetoad. I did have to heal Umbriel once and then Dragon Clawed his last three Pokes to death.

Game. Set. Match. NOW GIVE ME MY AWESOME CREDITS THEME!

I can see why B/W2 are gonna be a sequel, if I recall correctly at least, because N's story is kind of sad and needs closure AND N AND WHITE ARE TOTALLY GONNA HOOK UP!

Edited March 21, 2012 by Ein Silver Rose

[Elieson]

Luxury ball.

Priceless :)

[Ein]

Luxury ball.

Priceless :)

The Luxury Balls cost me 30,000 bucks. Priceless my bottom.