ClLoulD Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 loving this series keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aether911 Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 (edited) And not even a level up, Nealuchi is way to much old for this crap Edited January 31, 2013 by Aether911 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veracor Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 Part 2 Chapter 1: Try not to fall asleep A barrel of potatoes has joined us! There was also an energy drink and a combustible lemon, but at the end of the day it's the root veggies that kept it all going. That's what you get for ignoring quarantine law! Should've listened to Ripley! Pretty sure sowing is the hard part and not leaving the seeds to grow on their own. "What? A revolutionary brew? What'd you put in it?" "Keep tryin' ta tell them they gotta break the twenties!" "We like Ike! We like Ike!" "Looks like they got their cloning vats working." Well what else would she bring? A chicken would be admirable, but hardly effective. "They're gonna sap our sentries! Someone get a fire mage in here!" "No don't attack me! I didn't have a shield so I had to bring my mother's fine china dinnerplate!" You can see the teeth flying out! All 50 of them! I thought this game was safe for kids! Get outta here you annoying 1-2 range guy. "How did you even get into my house? You're wider than the doorway." It's that sun overhead doin' all the hard work. Secret axercut technique, go! "Argh too much hard work! Not enough sowing!" If Brom's a pig farmer and he was just sowing seeds, Crimea must be in control of genetically modified baconplants. Secret reason for Mad King's War! "We could be the Disarm/Steal duo! How about it?" "Nahhhh, too much effort." The amphibious bandits have returned! I was wrong! I think Brom's cuirass is made out of rubber. Brom takes out the annoying corydoras metaes that keeps attacking him. "Hi Mom!" Well gee, that was helpful. Alright time to wreak some stuff over the course of 20 turns or so! "Die, supporter of the funny-hat-and-blankie court!" The barrel has grown wheels! Crimean knight gives Brom a REALLY sharp look! "That'll learn you to put firecrackers in your helmet!" Whoa whoa whoa, so we got revolutionary brew, baconseeds, and now revolution is an invasive plant? BATTLE OF THE SLOWPOKES. Lookin' good... figuratively! Brom gets a Disarm proc. Shoulda been a GBA general bro, chains stop you from dropping your weapon! "See you next Year...dley! Ha ha!" "She was only able to lift one cow when she left. I hope she hasn't been lifting liberation armies out there." BROSCAR IS THAT YOU. Next chapter we find out what happens when we stick noisy birds and clanky armors into stealthy caves! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClLoulD Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I laughed so hard at the china dinner plate joke I spat juice everywhere X D can't wait for endgame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veracor Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 Rumors say that I fell off the Earth, but fear not, I had a jetpack! I was just sleeping during the fall so it took an extra day to get back up. Part 2 Chapter 2: Ludveck's Mancave Wait, so the loyalists are growing baconplants, and the rebels are growing discontentbread. I think I'll be a loyalist. "I tried putting food on that big dinner table, but I forgot the plates first." "...? wha- can someone get me a translator for the cone-shaped blue thing?" Wait, what? You were just with those two, why didn't you simply walk with them to the queen? Did Ludveck jump between them wearing a wig and a bra? "Hmm, nope! Musta be one o' them city hipster gadgets!" Whoa whoa whoa slow down, you are not Lyre and Kyza. To the corner with you! "A baconplant! They can take root in clothing too, and it will show your allegiance!" When Ludveck said he had Windows 98, he wasn't kidding. MEANWHILE IN 8000 B.C. In a cave. Just in case Ludveck is spying on himself. "I dunno, have you tried using a dictionary as a shield? The things stop arrows." If only there was a raven who specialized in taking care of someone. To the corner with you, unlisted units! Git! POTATOES FOR THE POTATO GOD! Brom doubles the guy. Not so great are you now, steel greatlance? "Stupid kids and their bows, I said no archery indoors!" I don't know how Lucia keeps her white dress so clean when she keeps tumbling and flipping around in caves. "This isn't even my lawn and I want you off it! Git!" Spinning your lance fast enough will allow you to become a helicopter. While Meg goes lolMegic, Brom wishes to avoid those electrifying moments. "FEEL THE WRATH OF... POGO SWORD!" I believe in you, Feliraen soldier! You can do it! "Is that one of my fence posts? The one I covered in prune juice? Give that back you thief!" Uh oh, I forgot about the SW reinforcements. Wait, they even said this cave was a dead end! Ludveck has been hiding soldiers in the sandbags! Blueberry tiger helps kill the cheating noclip reinforcements. "Hmmmm... nope! Still not threatened!" "Hey, stop that. I'm trying to kill you here so we can get back to the proper units!" What happens when you corner someone that has a gun? Lucia finds out! *BLAM!* To be fair, that's a much higher hit rate than most people against Nealuchi. The (martial) arts of healing. Turn difficulty up a level! Heal staff is now mend staff! AND NEXT DIFFICULTY WILL BE RECOVER! "Sorry, it's the GPS. Turn right at edge of mountain. Turn right at next stop. Go straight 10 miles into cave." YOU WILL BE BLOWN AWAY BY THESE WIND BATTLES. Ehhhhh Nealuchi still doesn't care. "Take this, you! If I had my walker here with me, you wouldn't even live to see my lawn again!" "Ha ha come catch me now, suckers!" Oh stop being such an existentialist. You'll respawn on next playthrough. Have you ever neutraled an SUV on a downward hill? You're driving Brom! "Pow! Right in the shield!" Do a barrel roll! "Polly wanna cracker? Pollll-yy! Cracker time!" "MMM BROMMY WANNA CRACKER! GIMMEH!" Hmm, fog vision of 0 = still able to counterattack. Gramps has leveled up! Gramps has become 747! Wooooosh! "The seeds of discontent were a coverup. They're growing beans, and are planning to surround the palace with Taco Bells." "What, were you flying by flapping your feet while carrying the pegasus?" "Oh neat, we can put her to work in the Crimean call center that Begnion uses for tech support. 1-888-ASHERA" You're supposed to say that when you're taking a job with a fastfood joint, not when you're on the throne! Also, go with Lucia next time if you want caves. What will happen when Geoffers and his platoon charge Ludwig's castle? Will they find the princess, or will it simply create another bridge across the sea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silith Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Brutal Rocking Ownage Machine is doing pretty well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veracor Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 Sorry for the delay, Dolphin corrupted both states at the very end of the chapter (I use 2 states due to instability) and I had to redo the whole thing, and lost motivation due to this chapter being so boring and long. Better late than never, I suppose. Part 2 Chapter 3: Crimea's football games are getting serious Noob Crimea didn't use vulneraries and healhedged back to full. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Yeah! Let's take our godzilla heads and disappear!" Honestly, between horses and lizards and giant crows, a flying pig wouldn't be terribly out of place. Actually, if Pig Knights were DLC, I'd buy them. "We need to evade or tech hit every attack and never block!" Geoffrey just put you on the national no-fly list. "Devdan only fought like one man. Let Danved make up for that." Brave Sir Lance rides valiantly into battle, carried by a tropical plant. "What? Why didn't you tell me this earlier? I must have an SS in fighting with paintings by now!" Astrid's going to need the help, and forging isn't available. This might come in handy as well. Oh god, Ally Phase is going to take FOREVER. Hey, don't spoil the Mel Brooks jokes! Okay let's see, here's our damsel in distress... And here's a faceless allied bow paladin one level below her. WHYYYYYYYY. Even if she crits she can't kill things. Sigh. CROSSBOWS WHERe. "Yo! White men can't jump!" Astrid is able to kill a few Edwards though. Graduate of Dumbass School runs up to his healer and uses a vulnerary. Oh allied unit AIs, how we love you. At some point, one of these staff criticals in this playthrough will do SOMETHING. "I'm on a horse! Look at my horse!" ... "I'll end you with my Memeslayer!" The Memeslayer proves to be so powerful that enemy knights are drawn right onto it. xXxAstridNoScopeSmokeWeedEveryDayxXx420 Puppet has gained a level! Puppet is now in a wheelbarrow! Doctor Crimean Bishop PHD MCSE MCTS MCPD decides to use a vulnerary to heal 2 hp. "Danved will make the reinforcements throw themselves onto the Memeslayer!" Of course the ally AI decides to get in the way of that plan. "Danved uses a lot of light magic for a sheen like this!" Danved gains a Danved level. And more magic for his shield polish. Spread out noobs, Malphite's ulting! Father Dumbass of the Church of Dumbass goes into enemy range to use a Physic on an adjacent ally. "That's for killing my healer who had the intelligence level of a Chinese goldfarming bot!" The end of the world is near. Astrid has gained a point of strength! Ok apocalypse is coming out Rock on! Danved goes completely white! Muscles require wheels too, you know. FINALLY. Okay what's going on here. No Speedwings for you... yet. Tashoria proves to be no pushover, mostly because Danved had AS penalty from using a Stl Greatlance to knock on the door. Astrid shoots the boss's last remaining unscathed pinky finger. Urban legend dispelled: Astrid can't gain both Str and Spd at the same time. "He's going to ruse the capital's jimmies! No wait, that's not right. Danved, give me that Memeslayer." "Make sure the merge lanes are clear before we put our horses on it." Hey you, get back in character! I totally didn't leave out the intermediate dialogue to make that funny. "Mostly because I'm always wearing this armor." "You're a dog lady and not into cats at all. Look at this puppy in my inventory! Be my valentine!" What happens next? Turn to page 161 if you stole the helicopter, or page 37 if not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Sage Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Awesome playthrough! Definetly watching this! Also dat fiona! 19 str level 2 second tier! When i used her she had less str than yours third tier! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silith Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I'dd swear Malphite's ults were more painfull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nano Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 This is pretty hilarious. And you need to dump the units you are using because they are not crappy anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veracor Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Part 2 Chapter Final: Duke (Felirae) it out! Brom finally gets a chance to shine, with so many downward staircases that he can flop onto and barrel roll into waves of enemies! "Ah ha! Geoffery fish for dinner!" "An Arms Scroll. They seem to be turning up on grounds everywhere. We should sell them before excess brings their prices down." "Lucia's seaweed! Oh no, Ludveck has stolen her aquarium!" "I bet her being captured is just a practical joke." "This is my Black Lotus! I'll sac it on turn one to cast three Dark Rituals..." "Whoa, a talking recliner chair!" feelsbadman.jpg Yes, more tank stats for the stunt we're just about to pull! Brutal Rocking Ownage Machine GO! Take on the whole army! Rebellious, dead, and weaponless is no way to go through life, son. Bromeg incoming! "Crossbows are OP! Get out of here! Boot from the game!" "If only I brought Cyclone Axe into this mission." Gramps has tied a spear to his beak! Narwhaluchi! Keep pilin' on the worthwhile stats! Ow owow owowoo owowoowow owowowo You have made Nealuchi DOUBLY angry! The cavalry has quite literally arrived, but this is not the enemies' flank! Another member of the Church of Dumbasses decides to use Physic in melee range. "Ha! Taste my biorythm!" An amazing level up by laguz standards. Only experience can harden one's metal clothing! For the first time in history, a Crimean Bishop positions himself properly for a Physic heal. Unfortunately, his Sniper friend didn't quite match his double-digit IQ. Gramps squawks another noobcannon out of existence. Christmas for Danved! Fail. Extra fail. A WHOLE TURN OF FAILURE. Waiiiiit... NOPE DISGUISED FAIL. Map of final turn. Leave queen you're protecting to kill a healer. Best discipline ever. Brom will class change to Bowling Ball in part 4. Wait, Brom and co. didn't even manage to break through the doorway because of all the general reinforcements. What happened? "No, but you should know I'm a staff user, and I had a Rescue staff in Fe9. I'll just stand up there, use it, and shout 'umad rebels?' " "Your rebellion seeds ruined all my baconplants! Also havoc is a bad game anyways and you shouldn't play it. Shame on you, stay in your cell." She could just have that Crimean Bishop cast Physic over and over while she chokes and Geoffery rescues her. Well, it'd work until the Bishop charged into the frontlines, I guess. Grand opening of the Crimean Krispy Kreme. Discontent bread, baconplants, and sprinkles of rebellion all in one box! Just say no to peer pressure, Rolf! "I have found another princess. It seems they're just falling out of the skies these days." "Quick, he's got -50% skl and spd unless he drops her!" Soren has a swastika on his head? That must mean... oh no, Soren is a Grammar Nazi! "Uhh, nothing? There's no flank mechanic in this game." "Taste my lollipop! It's blue raspberry flavored!" If only I could get things done by going on vacation too! Hey I've seen this Shakespeare before. It doesn't have a happy ending. Methinks he got the hair colors wrong. And also the genders. Are you sure he's not just crazy? You know, he could just apply some deductive logic to narrow it down to just a few possibilities. Whoops, guess I shouldn't have deployed him! It's not like we established several times that BK has artifacts that let him teleport long distances, or something. Part 2 is done! What will happen when the Rhys Mercenaries, consisting of Rhys and uhhhh... *checks page 1*... Rhys, charge into Begnion's frontlines? Let's find out how many times we get doubled and killed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aether911 Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Pfff, too easy, Rhys will just destroy every enemy on Part 3, he is the most OP character ever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Sage Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 (edited) 3-1 is impossible with Rhys and Ike only. Do you plan to use the other GMs just for this chapter? Edited February 19, 2013 by Lord Sage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiki Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 3-1 is impossible with Rhys and Ike only. Do you plan to use the other GMs just for this chapter? No it isn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Sage Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Really? How can Ike and Rhys rout all the enemies within 12 turns? This is hard mode so a non transfer Rhys will be one rounded by most enemies and Ike cannot manage to defeat all enemies within the time limit by himself. Also don't forget that reinorcements come from the lower side of the map. I know he has 3-P for getting experience but Rhys must become very speed blessed not to be doubled from enemies and even if he does he cannot withstand more one or at best two hits . I just don't see it can happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silith Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Aw. You didn't B®omb Ludveck with the hammer (which you didn't buy). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veracor Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 ^ Yes I complete spaced out on buying the hammer. No Tomahawk for me! Don't forget about Lyre's temporary joining in 3-1. Rhys also only has 35 uses of Ellight until 3-2 when I can shop for more, so expect some Ike usage. If 3-1 proves to be too much then I'll just use Titania for a few battles. Likewise, 3-3 (?) I might have to use Haar to reach the furthest supplies in time. We'll see if I can get by without them or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 "I have found another princess. It seems they're just falling out of the skies these days." "Sorry Ike but your princess is in another castle." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silith Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I once did a run where only 4 units could get kills (Leonardo, Marcia, Brom and Ike (and technically the Burger King in 1-9)). In 3-1 I used Titania and had her killed off later on. (sadly kills gained as Green (Jill, Zihark, Tauroneo.) and Yellow (Lethe, Lyre) do count at the end of the game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veracor Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 (edited) Part 3 Chapter Prologue: Things that go bump in the night Not a very long one, since green army completes it on it's own in 10 turns. A Crimean army trying to siege a castle and kill the queen was not considered a rebellion? So apparently they already ate Bastian's money, or Ike was being very sarcastic in last chapter's dialogue. "Why can't you update your Twitter or something?" "No way, Twitter is for bird laguz." "You have cancer. In your arms. Arm cancers." ... "You falsely convicted and killed an innocent mass murderer! Now do you see the eeeeevils of death penalty?" Angry Tomato stands fast with Scarface and Elf Lord. "It's Feburary and they still have that awful balloon Santa in their front yard." "We'll hit them so fast we'll knock the positions right out of them!" "Gorilla force? Hoohahoohahooha!" *Ike lumbers off with his mutant arms* "One time I entered a Wal-Mart by going in through the exit doors. It will haunt me to this day." "It has a lot of creepy old guys that keep chanting 'kawaii~' and I don't know what that means." "Yep! And I have no idea what I'm doing because I have no eyes!" I guess. There's a warrior and a halberdier on top of each other in this cutscene. Get a room, you two! Ever wonder what happens when a laguz uses a laguz stone while shifted? Baby's first kill! D'awww it's so cute when they get Spd on their first levelup. Hey wait a second... Liar. Ballistae don't do shit! Gallia has constructed the SINISTAR. I HUNGER! It's hard to get a good shot of light mages. FLASH OFF, PLEASE. In an alternate reality, where all the fast units get hit and Rhys dodges a double attack. The prince is nice and toasty now! Ike demonstrates to Oscar how to cook for wimps. Omnomnomnom! WHOA SHIT IKE PUT SOME OF HIS STEROIDS IN THAT! Maybe they're just laguz that decided to use steel weaponry. There's nothing that says they can't! Gatrie is a cockatiel laguz btw. BOOM! HEADSWIPE! "He gave stupid speeches. And then he stopped talking." "We could just be peaceful mercenaries, and become Greil's Cleaning Company. Soren's wind magics would make easy vacuuming." "Oh no I spilled coffee on my painting! This Lehran's Coaster sucks!" "It's a very complicated seid magic. The royal heron puts chloroform on a rag, then shoves it in the dark god's face." Will Rhys gain enough speed to not be doubled by the rediculous amount of warriors? We'll be finding out next chapter! Edited February 22, 2013 by Veracor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom037 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 this playthrough is hilarious, and I would follow it if I could get the screenshots past 1-6 to show up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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