Love and relationships

[deleted35362]

I feel like I'm having love thrown in my face all of a sudden, like some imaginary bully is telling me "they all have love and you don't! Bwahaha, you poor lonely girl!"

this is how i felt, and eventually i gave up on shared love and..well, my opening post c: (seeing other people talk about their successful love still irks me, though)

but don't worry too much. like a lot of people in this thread say, you should open your heart but never let these things take over your life.

[Anacybele]

Well, it's hard when seems that love is endlessly tossed at you from all directions while you're alone and your social skills are about as good as rotten fruit.

Although, is it strange that while I'd like a husband to spend my life with, I don't want to have kids? (for primarily personal reasons)

[BEST TRYNDAMERE PLAYER]

And every time I bring up my shitty love life to someone, they just say "you'll find the right guy eventually!" Whether it's true or not, it isn't helping me one bit.

that line is so overused that it has little to no meaning, there's a right person for everyone. the real difference is if the person is willing to throw themselves out there to meet new people

[deleted35362]

Well, it's hard when seems that love is endlessly tossed at you from all directions while you're alone and your social skills are about as good as rotten fruit.

yes i understand completely, but do your best to not let that pressure get to your head.

[Anacybele]

that line is so overused that it has little to no meaning, there's a right person for everyone. the real difference is if the person is willing to throw themselves out there to meet new people

I agree, but the problem is, I'm a shy person. Well, only when I'm going to get an immediate response, like in person. Obviously on forums, I'm not reluctant at all to express myself. It's because I'm not necessarily getting judged right away and also because no one can hear me speak. I'm especially shy in person because of how I talk. I tend to stutter when I speak and I was often bullied for it. I'm afraid of being picked on again (though if I was, I'd punch the person in the face, because frankly, I'm sick of this shit) and afraid of embarrassing myself.

Boney: Well, I'll certainly try.

[BEST TRYNDAMERE PLAYER]

sometimes you just gotta fight those fears. idk how old you are exactly but since you mentioned co-workers i'll assume you're in your 20s and if so, i don't think you'll get bullied for stuttering or even picked on for anything tbh. all i can really say is grow some confidence and finding that person becomes a lot easier. (besides, you can use the stuttering thing to your advantage!)

[Interest]

Attempting to compute the concept of love...

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ERROR. ERROR. Dumping memory core.

^Translation: I don't really bother or care to love. Others can go ahead and embrace it and I certainly won't condemn or hate them for it, but I feel I don't have much to gain from loving, having a relationship, or so on - to me it is completely meaningless. I dare someone to try to make me second guess myself.

Edit: Sometimes I feel like House.

Edited July 8, 2013 by Interest

[Mighty Kamina]

Excuse my general lack of experience (I'm in my first relationship) but as said before it's best to not actively look for a girlfriend/boyfriend and rather let it happen naturally. That being said, you have to put yourself out there for that to happen (Being socially active). However for some people that can be quite hard for a variety of reasons (bullying, just being shy, etc)

Gah, I'm just spouting nonsense at this point.

Well what I'm trying to say is don't hide who you are. If you show the world who you truly are you'll eventually find someone, and to hell with those who pick on you for being yourself. They don't matter.

Edited July 8, 2013 by Virion

[Shin]

I agree, but the problem is, I'm a shy person. Well, only when I'm going to get an immediate response, like in person. Obviously on forums, I'm not reluctant at all to express myself. It's because I'm not necessarily getting judged right away and also because no one can hear me speak. I'm especially shy in person because of how I talk. I tend to stutter when I speak and I was often bullied for it. I'm afraid of being picked on again (though if I was, I'd punch the person in the face, because frankly, I'm sick of this shit) and afraid of embarrassing myself.

I say this to a lot of people, being shy isn't a bad thing. Confidence isn't all about talking to large audiences or charming the pants off of people, it's about being comfortable with yourself. Adults are far less likely to pick on you than children with regards to your stuttering. Do your co-workers make fun of you? If they don't, I think it's safe to say most people won't.

[Anacybele]

Yes, I'm in my twenties. I'm 22. And nobody at work makes fun of me, but I'm more afraid of it happening elsewhere, really. But even with my co-workers, they talk about their husbands and crap all the time and it gets on my nerves. But I know it would be rude to just go up and ask them to stop. Because one, I'd talk about my husband sometimes too if I were married and two, freedom of speech.

Also because of this, I can never join in many conversations. I just don't have anything to add most of the time.

[Bluedoom]

No sorry this post has nothing to do with what love is all about I have ZERO experience with that.

I'd like to have a relationship sometime but Idk the more I try and 'desire' it the more I feel its pointless. That and I go to an all guys school (idk man maybe I'll swing the other way 8) ) I dunno but if it was all about searching and putting effort in finding one then lol *effort*.

But I'm also this guy who keeps trying to rationalize to himself when he needs a relationship- sometimes I feel it may limit your career goals or other stuff you'd like to do in life, but really that's just speculating on my part. I guess I'd like one once I have something called STABLE INCOME but lol apparently things will never go as I plan them. >_>

[BEST TRYNDAMERE PLAYER]

i don't think it would happen elsewhere in real life. even people who were big bullies in high school grow out of that phase when they reach their 20s and even if someone does poke fun towards you for something you said, they're probably just being lighthearted about it. idk though, you can always try initiating conversation with your co-workers.

[Anacybele]

I do, but as I said, most of the time, I don't have anything I can add. Also, almost all of my co-workers are women anyway. The few males that work there are taken and not my cup of tea anyway. I also was taught that it's unwise to date a co-worker.

Edited July 8, 2013 by Anacybele

[Steampunk]

I also was taught that it's unwise to date a co-worker.

Probably not a good idea, you're right. Your co-workers might have single friends you'd be interested in though. That's how most people meet: mutual friends/acquaintances.

[BEST TRYNDAMERE PLAYER]

hmmmmmmm, dating co-workers can be okay. it depends on the job.

[Anacybele]

Probably not a good idea, you're right. Your co-workers might have single friends you'd be interested in though. That's how most people meet: mutual friends/acquaintances.

That's true. I'll just see what happens. You gotta go with the flow, after all. Let stuff happen. Yes, I intentionally referenced Yuma from Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal there.

[deleted35362]

Attempting to compute the concept of love...

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ERROR. ERROR. Dumping memory core.

:3

I'd like to have a relationship sometime but Idk the more I try and 'desire' it the more I feel its pointless. That and I go to an all guys school (idk man maybe I'll swing the other way 8) ) I dunno but if it was all about searching and putting effort in finding one then lol *effort*.

a little off topic, but why do you go to a single gender school?

That's true. I'll just see what happens. You gotta go with the flow, after all. Let stuff happen. Yes, I intentionally referenced Yuma from Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal there.

oh, that's a casual quote, ana. i don't think we would have caught on if you hadn't told us.

[Anacybele]

Oh, didn't know that. Haha. I only ever heard it so often from the anime character I just mentioned. lol

Edited July 8, 2013 by Anacybele

[Phoenix Wright]

Yes, I'm in my twenties. I'm 22. And nobody at work makes fun of me, but I'm more afraid of it happening elsewhere, really. But even with my co-workers, they talk about their husbands and crap all the time and it gets on my nerves. But I know it would be rude to just go up and ask them to stop. Because one, I'd talk about my husband sometimes too if I were married and two, freedom of speech.

Also because of this, I can never join in many conversations. I just don't have anything to add most of the time.

Since this seems to be such a huge problem, have you considered speech therapy? Helped my brother out a bunch. Also, as long as your stuttering isn't severe, I can guarantee that some guys will find it cute/sexy, so if anything you can view this as an advantage. :)

Start a conversation. It's real easy. Ask about music, movies, TV, really simple stuff.

[Anacybele]

I did all kinds of speech therapy in school. It helped some, as I don't stutter nearly as much as I used to, but it couldn't cure it.

And yeah, I know, since one of my close guy friends thinks my stuttering is cute. But he's one of the ones that isn't interested in getting a girlfriend.

Edited July 8, 2013 by Anacybele

[BEST TRYNDAMERE PLAYER]

i think the biggest cure to the stuttering thing is to just keep talking, eventually you'll get comfortable with the idea of talking you'll feel less nervous thus less stuttering

[Leinex]

I know a few people that stutter. It's really not that serious, but when they are stuttering, I find myself quietly cheering "come on, you can do it!". xD

Before I say anything relevant to the topic: I've never had a love life and I don't care much for getting one, so anything I say about it should most likely just be taken with a grain of salt...

Romantic love is some seriously dangerous business. It can ruin people if handled badly. I think it's painfully obvious that matters of the heart should be handled with much care, but a lot of people don't...Well, anyway, I agree with those who said that relationships shouldn't be a top priority. Friendships are much less stressing, and true friends are much more deserving of your affection than some fragile relationship. Also, to me, "love at first sight" is really just lust.

I say you're being cruel to yourself, Boney. I'm sure you're quite likable; it's just that you're having too much trouble finding people who will truly appreciate who you are. :c

[Anacybele]

i think the biggest cure to the stuttering thing is to just keep talking, eventually you'll get comfortable with the idea of talking you'll feel less nervous thus less stuttering

Thing is, I don't stutter because of nervousness. It's more of a speech disorder in my case. I can end up stuttering at any time, even if I'm excited.

[Bluedoom]

:3

a little off topic, but why do you go to a single gender school?

Well at first when I joined in 6th grade my parents put me in it cuz it was one of the 'best' school's in the country(I'd argue otherwise but ok). Then when I was given the choice between a Junior College and continuing school over there, I chose the latter simply because I could get rid of a 2nd language and I was already used to that place. I guess that decision wasn't the best but I graduate sometime in March next year so I don't really care much anymore :D .

Edited July 9, 2013 by Bluedoom

[Anacybele]

You know what the absolute WORST thing about being alone is? Nobody is there to dry your tears and give you a hug when you're upset. You have go through misery all by yourself with no support.