deleted35362 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Hi, everyone. What do you think about love and the idea of relationships in general? No, sillies. I'm not asking for dating advice; I'm already condemned to life without it. Personally my own mom betrayed me and I was always a reject, so my heart is too closed to love living things(not that anybody would want it from me). My heart eventually settled on Reimu as my true love. She...doesn't exist, obviously, so I'm effectively cut off from shared love. Love is mostly pain to me. This thread isn't about me, though. I want to hear from you guys =] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZemZem Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Love is really hard to find. It sucks knowing that every girl I start to have a crush on will most likely will reject me. It's always been the same. I guess I'm moving things too quickly? Eh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppy Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I've basically given up. I don't really care that I'm alone, life's still good anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doga Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 This thread is fucking depressing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acacia Sgt Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I've already decided long ago to not get involved at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 This thread is fucking depressing. It's not depressing getting to come to realize that love is actually rather uncommon despite what anyone says (just because people are dating and/or like each other doesn't mean they feel actual love. Actually, nevermind. Asking this to people who have no experience in these kind of relationships don't have much to voice about. I only talk about what I see, and it's not even from my own experiences. Boney, I can actually relate to your point to some extent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) My stance is that if I happen to really click with someone and they reciprocate, then great, but I don't actively seek it. I'm certainly happy with my current significant other and wouldn't have it another way, but say if I didn't have one, I'm not going to try and find one. I will do my best to maintain a healthy relationship while I'm in one it is important to me that my SO and I are happy with stuff, but if I'm not in one having one is of no importance to me. I have more important things to do. Basically I just let it be. If it happens great if it doesn't no big deal. Edited July 4, 2013 by Thor Odinson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyron Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 My stance is that if I happen to really click with someone and they reciprocate, then great, but I don't actively seek it. I'm certainly happy with my current significant other and wouldn't have it another way, but say if I didn't have one, I'm not going to try and find one. I will do my best to maintain a healthy relationship while I'm in one it is important to me that my SO and I are happy with stuff, but if I'm not in one having one is of no importance to me. I have more important things to do. Basically I just let it be. If it happens great if it doesn't no big deal. that, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I'm open for a relationship, and comfortable with the idea as well, but I'm not actively seeking something. I live happily without it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 My stance is that if I happen to really click with someone and they reciprocate, then great, but I don't actively seek it. I'm certainly happy with my current significant other and wouldn't have it another way, but say if I didn't have one, I'm not going to try and find one. I will do my best to maintain a healthy relationship while I'm in one it is important to me that my SO and I are happy with stuff, but if I'm not in one having one is of no importance to me. I have more important things to do. Basically I just let it be. If it happens great if it doesn't no big deal. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Oh, I really forgot to mention a huge one for me. I have a strange aversion towards romantic things...they tend to "disgust" me. I also need time for myself too often and I'm irritant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Wright Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 This thread is fucking depressing. Agreed, I think some folks here really need a boost in confidence. --- Love, at least to me, is only something that can only happen gradually, as you truly get to know and feel for someone, and they also truly get to know you. There's no rush when it comes to love. With relationships in general, I'd advise staying out of one if you aren't happy and comfortable with yourself. Getting in a relationship will most likely not help you change how you feel about yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naglfar94 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I don`t know what it is :( I`m in about the same spot as you though almost. I`ve been rejected and hurt so many times I always asked myself why doesn`t anyone like me I`m a really nice quiet person and well shy. but yeah I`m pretty much alone too though and have been this way for awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renne Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) I completely agree with Thor's post about her opinions. I don't think it should be actively sought after, but something that should come with time... Otherwise you're in for a lot of hurt and heartbreak. Love is something that grows with time and, in my opinion, it's something that should start from friendship in a way. Sure there's the concept of love at first sight but honestly, I don't really believe in that. (*coughChromandOliviacough*) Also, I think there are also different dimensions/levels to love. Friendship love, romantic love, familial love, etc, but I'm gonna assume the OP is talking about romantic love and romantic relationships. So I'll just refer to love as romantic love here. Again, it's something that society kind of makes into an overrated thing but I think it's really something that can be quite rare to find...especially in today's society. People like to shout out "I love you!" so freely to anyone and everyone that the phrase almost lost its meaning. But I think love is really something that should be like... grown... raised... with time and caring. ...Although I may sound a little like a hypocrite based on my own past experiences, considering I've kind of rushed things before and stuff, but that's just more things I learned from experiences. And some things I still don't learn, hah. edit: (to the bottom post) oops. SHOWS HOW MUCH I KNOW ON THE FORUMS. Edited July 4, 2013 by Shirley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted35362 Posted July 4, 2013 Author Share Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) Agreed, I think some folks here really need a boost in confidence. Oh, if I'm one of those people you're referring to, well...confidence was always the least of my problems. Most people just don't like me, and that's that :/ EDIT: Shirley, Thor's a girl Edited July 4, 2013 by Boney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) I'm trying to find a way to say "give yourselves time and room to grow" that doesn't sound like a really condescending "you're get it when you're older" kind of copout. It is not as easily forthcoming as I'd like it to be, because there's so much going into it, but if there's a particular gist to what I want to say, it's that.. fuck I don't even know if this is a good enough way to summarize it There are as many valid bases for relationships as there are perspectives informed by years of reflection on it, but if relationships can be reduced to a single concept, I'd say they most revolve how fulfilling it is for the people involved to be around each other, and to let their guards down enough to understand each other. Boney, I'm really sorry to hear that, as it sounds, your mom did a shit job of giving you guidance, much less the love a child should get from their parents, which is hard enough to do right even when they're actually putting in effort, much less when full-on neglect or abuse is at work. Thankfully, not everybody sees you through the eyes of your mother, or even through your interpretation of your mother's perspective (only one person each can truly see you through those perspectives). Even after hearing your own perspective on yourself, it's imminently possible for them to have other ideas, and it's not possible that they'll always be negative, simply because of the endless variety of differing ways people can perceive everything in the world. It's hard enough to genuinely know somebody, anybody, after spending years with them, again, simply because of the endless variety of different experiences and situations life throws at all of us. Nobody's able to look at you and know everything about what you're like, much less what you think of yourself. Because of both this endless variety, and perhaps contradictorily, the capacity in people to appreciate each other despite having even questionable understandings of each other, there's no such thing as a hopelessly unrelatable person. That's not to say relationships don't require work to set up, and being that they're learning experiences for everybody involved, and they can definitely be daunting to go after even with some experience, but it's possible to work out an understanding of them, by considering what you're communicating and what you're looking for. Think about what you like to see in people. Think about what you'd like to be, if there's anything you want to be to somebody, and what you'd like to have appreciated in you. The odds are that somebody can relate to that desire, that somebody can provide that for you, and somebody can be provided for by you. Exactly how chemistry works and the value/process of love/other things I've gotten out of (or things I've puzzled over that concern) relationships are all other parts, but I think my internet could be going soon so I might just have to cap the "don't count yourself out" spiel here for now Edited July 4, 2013 by Rehab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 apparently my boyfriend was me all along, niggas don't even know bout loneliness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Wright Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Oh, if I'm one of those people you're referring to, well...confidence was always the least of my problems. Most people just don't like me, and that's that :/ EDIT: Shirley, Thor's a girl Do these people actively state to you that they don't like you, or do you simply assume it? What do you think it is about you that people don't enjoy? Do you agree, and if so, what are you doing to change yourself for the better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted35362 Posted July 4, 2013 Author Share Posted July 4, 2013 Oh, I'm just not an interesting person, and I don't relate to most people's interests. People don't really say they don't like me, but I'm generally the unfavored one in a bunch. I guess I do care about understanding people's feelings, so that's a little something. I haven't done much about it, save leaving when I know I'm unwanted(often) or basically just getting better at knowing what's annoying behavior and...not doing it anymore. heheh apparently my boyfriend was me all along, niggas don't even know bout loneliness do tell more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helios Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Hahaha you can always tell the difference between guys and girls in these types of discussions. My opinion is that love DOES exist, because I've seen it make logical people do a lot of illogical stuff way too often. It's not all butterflies and rainbows like the movies and such portray it to be, but it does exist. Just open your heart up a bit and don't be afraid to be hurt, and chances are you'll end up finding it. Of course, for some, that's easier said then done, and I'm not quite sure some people are willing to be that patient. But hey, good things in life don't come easily right? As for relationships, I'm of the group that says "if it happens let it happen, but I'm not looking for one atm". Right now I'm more focused on taking care of myself and helping out my family, so I can't really put out the effort needed to take care of a girl like I'd want to right now. So unless a perfect opportunity comes up (which I doubt will happen any time soon), I'm probably gonna stay away from relationships for the time being. inb4: haha Helios it's not like you could get a girlfriend anyway @OP: This is just an assumption, but it sounds more like people are indifferent about you more than they dislike you. You're only assuming they don't like you, but I'm sure if a random person asked them "hey what are your opinions on Boney?", they'd probably answer something like "ehh I don't really know him, but I don't mind him or anything". Have some more confidence in yourself man! I don't think the problem is that you're not an interesting person, but that you need to portray yourself more as an interesting person. Besides, once some people get to know you, they'll find a thing or two about you that they'll think is cool, and things will go from there. #optimism Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 inb4: haha Helios it's not like you could get a girlfriend anyway Anyone with this sentiment will suddenly find themselves warned to oblivion Relationships take work, and lots of it. I've found that gradual love, as opposed to "OMG LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT" works better for me. As long as I think the other person is worth the effort of a relationship, I'll do it. Otherwise, it would be horribly unfair for that person if I went into a relationship and didn't do my share to keep it going smoothly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSND Alter Dragon Boner Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 My stance is that if I happen to really click with someone and they reciprocate, then great, but I don't actively seek it. I'm certainly happy with my current significant other and wouldn't have it another way, but say if I didn't have one, I'm not going to try and find one. I will do my best to maintain a healthy relationship while I'm in one it is important to me that my SO and I are happy with stuff, but if I'm not in one having one is of no importance to me. I have more important things to do. Basically I just let it be. If it happens great if it doesn't no big deal. this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Enough with the quotes and this. Next person who does that gets a warn. Either contribute your own content or stay silent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 There are times during my relationship where i wish I was single. Relationships aren't always flowery waterfalls and shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Some people say that good relationships are like a warzone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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