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QOTD Thread: The End


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Zar.

It's like Uno, but better and faster and more fun and everything.

Mao. Needs no explaining.

I collected Pokemon cards (I think I tried to play a single game), I played YGO occasionally for a few years, and I got into MtG recently because all my friends at college play it. I still need to build a second halfway-reasonable deck; for some reason my friends aren't huge fans of getting milled...

I still have all of my cards.

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New question!

What are your thoughts on an open relationship? This may look similar to the question about cheating, but there is a notable difference - the open relationship is willing and known to each partner (however many there may be). You can choose to interpret this as a question about your thoughts on non-monogamous relationships (polygamy in particular) since asking a question explicitly about that makes this seem more like a loaded question than it already is due to the negative stigma associated with such a question in many places. You can also go into theoretical scenarios about what you and your significant other(s) would think about the idea if you want. (Question is inspired by an episode of House...again...)

Considering I don't even have much interest in a romantic relationship in general, I can't say I'm qualified to answer this question. However, I would say that I am open to the idea since if on the off chance your partner(s) is/are like-minded on the idea, then that would erase the issues of adultery straining a relationship (by a significant amount, theoretically).

Edited by Interest
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If all sides involved are happy and comfortable with it, more power to them. I know this brings up a whole slew of issues, all of which I will neglect to address, but from an abstracted perspective I see no reason open relationships should be inherently deserving of legal or social ire.

Personally, I would not be game for the idea. My position may be partially rooted in my inclination toward maintaining a small circle of close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances (though I'm sure many other factors are involved), but I think I would have great difficulty managing such an arrangement socially and emotionally, and that I would be less happy than if I had one close partner or no partners at all.

My partner also wouldn't be keen on an open relationship, certainly as far as I am aware.

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No problems. Worries, maybe. People are bound to want more time with things that make them happy. If not love that they will want to monopolize, it's time with the people they love. That's hard to manage.

Edited by Makaze
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i think open relationships are fine as long as both parties agree to it. open relationships actually prove that the main couple has a really strong trust for each other.

oh yeah and since you mentioned the cheating question and i never got the chance to answer that one imma use this opportunity to answer that too:

my honest opinion is that overall cheating is pretty bad and i don't advocate it but there are also circumstances where it's understandable to a degree. if the person just happens to meet another person that they grow attracted to and said person is in a shaky spot in the relationship i can't really blame the person for having romantic moments with the new guy. unfortunately we live in a very cutthroat world. if you don't want to be cheated on then you have to prevent it by just being interesting enough and proving that you're worth their time. of course if the person cheats on you by fucking some random prostitute then that's another story.

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By open relationships are we talking about polyamory? Are we talking about swinging? Or the couple has private flings with others?

Because I mean there are various types of 'open' relationships too. (course I won't answer this because I've never had a monogamous relationship before in the first place, so lol)

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What card games have you played or are you currently playing? Which is your favorite?

I use to play MTG when Ice Age was released.

I'm not OK with open relationships but not against others doing it. If they mutually agree with it, then I don't see any problem. I know someone who is in a open relationship.

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Everyone else already voiced my opinions of open relationship. If both parties consented and will be okay with it, more power to them. But I personally would not be agree to it, if only because I'll be selfish when it comes to those relationships. And it'd be rather hard to split the time and resources for more than one partner, as Makaze pointed out too (about time).
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I don't mind the basic principles of an open relationship, however in practice jealousy has a tendency to start rearing it's ugly head. So I prefer a don't ask don't tell policy and knowing how our relationship will be; Am I your main partner and are we like a couple, or is it more like fuckbuddies? I'm okay with being in either type, and don't really care how many other dicks the girl I'm with takes, as long as I don't get to know about it. I get jealous like that =/

As for polygamy/polyamory, I'm fine with the idea of being in a polygamous relationship, but not polyamory. It's just the jealousy, man. I do realize that having a relationship with two women at the same time will mean I get twice the burden (and responsibility), but I think I'm capable of taking that and I know I've got enough love to give for two people.

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Ehhh... this is a repetitive answer but if both people are willing to do it, then sure go ahead... I'm not here to be everybody's mother and tell them what they can or cannot (or should or should not) do.

But I wouldn't get into it myself. Maybe I'm just all sappy about "if you don't love your partner enough or be satisfied enough to stick with them alone then you shouldn't even be in a relationship together," idk x3

Edited by Freohr Datia
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I'm completely fine with it, both for myself and others. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful girl now, but in the future we're going to have periods where we won't be able to see eachother for four months at a time, and I wouldn't object to being open over those periods.

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I don't mind the basic principles of an open relationship, however in practice jealousy has a tendency to start rearing it's ugly head. So I prefer a don't ask don't tell policy and knowing how our relationship will be; Am I your main partner and are we like a couple, or is it more like fuckbuddies? I'm okay with being in either type, and don't really care how many other dicks the girl I'm with takes, as long as I don't get to know about it. I get jealous like that =/

As for polygamy/polyamory, I'm fine with the idea of being in a polygamous relationship, but not polyamory. It's just the jealousy, man. I do realize that having a relationship with two women at the same time will mean I get twice the burden (and responsibility), but I think I'm capable of taking that and I know I've got enough love to give for two people.

By fine with polygamous but not polyamory, do you mean to say that you'd be fine with having, say, two wives, but not two wives who also loved each other?

[spoiler=literally three paragraphs on polyamory]

I haven't gotten a look at much solid evidence on whether people are wired better or worse for single romantic relationships or multiple simultaneous ones, and to be honest I think, taking into account that I commonly remember seeing the former romanticized and presented as the only true option (for reasons that seemed to me mostly subjective), and that so often that the latter has seemed relatively demonized to me,* that I feel almost biased towards open relationships, even though I've really only been working my way towards saying I have no personal quarrel with either.

*(also taking into account that I tend to get really self-conscious about my opinions on things when I can only remember seeing them presented with value judgments attached)

For myself, I'd at least like to imagine that I could possibly be sincerely in love with more than one person at a time, and that it could be all the better if they were in love with each other as well (which is how I've taken polyamory to be defined so far). In practice, I've at least had things that felt like crushes on more than one person at a time, but I've only once crushed on specific people that I believed at the time to have also had crushes on each other, and haven't as of yet touched anything like it (or generally made -contact- with anybody since my first relationship) with a ten-foot pole.

(how confessing this whateverthisfeelingwas would've gone, in my head: "__, I think you're really cool and I might maybe possibly like to, g-, g-g-et w-witcha" => "Oh! Ah, I'm sorry, I never told you, I'm-" =>"Oh, crushing on Y? Yeah I could tell, me too. He's hot/awesome"

The closet thing to a real problem with the idea that I have (other than being scared that I'm too awful a person to do anything but make it crash in selfishness and despair) (bluh masculinity hangups bluh involved there) is that. Man, the -tumblr ideal- poly relationship sounds hard, assuming everybody involved actually wants to make sure the others are all treated right and everything. My trying to have a healthy, communicative relationship with only one person had difficulties, and that I didn't expect came up, even though I was trying to be proactive about, y'know, expecting problems.

And the prospect of an actual long-term relationship with even a single person, assuming the healthy kind of long haul relationship that involves, like, trying to achieve both of our dreams and living together and sharing burdens and Marriage?! and shit, that can get me worried when it's just thinking about going for it with one person, one crush.

The idea of adding a whole one entire person to that, and trying to keep us all straight with each other? (or multiplying the number of people by 1.5, or multiplying the number of relationships by whatever to include everybody's perspective [so to include everybody's perspective on both their relationships with the other two and on the other two's relationship with each other] or whatever and aaAAUGH)

The idea does sound hella romantic to me, in a way, but also, like, holy shit, daunting

don't want to rule it out, and would like to experience it, but not exactly pinning my hopes on it

"Open relationships" with regard to "seeing each other and sort of paired but also allowed to date/sex if applicable other people," that I might be a bit more "if other people are cool with it more power to them" on. I don't thiiink I'm totally closed to participating in the idea, but there's something about it that, I'm not sure, I guess I might feel a bit less "honest" about- like I'd be "sizing up" partners and be in some kinda bad faith somehow. The whole "what are people wired for/what is moral" social more starts to sit in on the idea for me a little, even if I can't seem to pinpoint what I even think, would think or would do about the whole thing.

[spoiler=shut up brain]phony bi guilt

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I'll pretty much go with the general consensus here.

"If two people are cool with it, that's their thing."

...but I'm clingy as all hell (not the "You need me and only me, don't see your friends and family" kind of clingy) so I definitely wouldn't be fine with it.

And I'd prefer someone who was "clingy" as well and would not be okay with that concept either.

Edited by shadowofchaos
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