My idea for a rewrite of Awakening's plot

[Topaz Light]

So, I had a few ideas about how to rewrite Awakening's plot to be less crap, and although a lot of them are still pretty vague and I've only made it through the first arc or so I'm gonna at least share them here anyway.

Fair warning, the Grima and Masked Marth plotlines are changed significantly.

And keep in mind that this is just my idea. You all can variously like or dislike it as you will.

Firstly, the game would have a sort of more post-apocalyptic world, with ruins of the much more advanced societies of yesteryear scattered about the continents, although the course of technology was different from the real world's due to the presence of magic. (For example, mages and the like may have fired their spells from some sort of guns or something, and they may still!) The Risen would also probably actually be explained and still have ties to Grima, with some "Advanced" Risen actually being characters so the Risen chapters would no longer just be excuses not to have plot for a bit. Secondly, "Marth" would actually be two characters, one of them still Lucina, but the other, well...

The plot would progress roughly as normal through to about Chapter 7, where the Hierarch (who would exist starting before that point and have an actual name and unique portrait) would instead survive (possibly slipping away in the chaos of the battle rather than being executed by Vasto at the start) and, rather than Emmeryn going back to Ylisstol like an idiot, would instead be captured as a result of the Hierarch (who would go on to be at the very least a miniboss, promoted to War Monk or most likely Sage by that point) ratting out her new position to the Plegians. Additionally, Emmeryn's sacrifice would likely be changed. Probably rather than just throwing herself off a cliff, she'd get in the way of something to save someone or... I don't know yet. Chapter 6's objective would be changed to "Defend Emmeryn for X turns" and Chapter's changed to "Escape OR Defeat Boss". Additionally, Olivia would be recruited upon completion of Chapter 10 rather than upon beginning Chapter 11.

The concluding scene of what in the current game is Chapter 11 (not sure how the rewrites would affect chapter numbers) would be quite different. Instead of simply being supposedly killed in battle and that being that, Gangrel would instead flee into a nearby ruin complex, where Chrom and the Avatar give chase. Exploring the inside in search of their foe, they end up in a strange room with a several layers of broken, previously-securely-locked doors leading into a chamber containing a shattered tank, concluding with frustration that they've lost Gangrel's trail for the moment and starting to head back out of the building, before being cut off by a strange, dragonlike creature emanating "a terrifying pressure" or something, who attacks them in a playable hopeless (but non-Game Over-inducing) boss fight, after which the unconscious, badly-injured duo are found by Frederick and/or the Khans, who pursued them towards the ruins... considering his protectiveness, ol' Fred seems the more likely candidate for this, and Lissa probably tagged along as well. After the two are treated for their wounds, the timeskip transition would occur as normal.

Perhaps there would be a couple of intermission chapters played as Gangrel before shifting focus back to Chrom and the Avatar. Gangrel would (quite begrudgingly on both ends) join up with the main group around the start of the Valm arc and serve as another Lord.

Second Masked Marth would be the First Exalt, named for the legendary hero king (so he'd be called His Grace King Marth the Somethingth or... something) and Lucina's mentor from the future. He bears a strong resemblance to his namesake, save for striking red eyes (which are due to him as he appears in the story actually being reanimated as a Deadlord: Red is not his natural eye color). While Lucina wields the Parallel Falchion, the First Exalt carries Mercurius and is far stronger. He very well might be fought as a boss later, in which case (being essentially a Great Lord) he'd wield Gradivus which he'd drop upon defeat. He'd also most likely be a party member for a brief time, after which he'd entrust Mercurius to Lucina and Chrom.

Some other ideas I had were Validar being descended from Merric and Elice and believing that this gives him claim to the Ylissean throne. He'd wield Excalibur, Goetia being Aversa's tome, and would drop it upon his final defeat.

The "strange, dragonlike creature" is Grima, who was created during the war that ravaged the continent as a bioweapon to put a decisive stop to the fighting, which he accomplished a little TOO well, hence the state of the continent. Validar's and the Avatar's ties with him would be changed a bit and as such the choice during the end of the final chapter would be axed, along with the last arc being essentially entirely replaced with something else.

Acquisition of Archanea's legendary weapons in general would be incorporated into the main story rather than strictly side content.

A lot of these ideas are still rough, and I'm sorry about that. I hope I made enough sense voicing them, at least.

[spoiler=Not really relevant but new character voice casting I guess]The Hierarch - Barry Yandell

First Exalt - Spike Spencer or Johnny Yong Bosch

Grima - Wendy Powell or Greg Ayres

Edited February 17, 2014 by Starlight36

[Dwarfishh]

I was interested until the 'Grima as a bioweapon' part. Not to keen on the more technologically advanced stuff, or the first exalt, but I like the early chapters, having both a traitor boss (Yay!) and alternate mission objectives (Double Yay!)

Edited February 17, 2014 by eggs4king

[Topaz Light]

The idea is that, the time gap between the Archanea-Valentia saga and Awakening being 2,000 years, the societies would likely have made significant technological advances in that time. Assuming they progressed at the same rate as real-world nations, considering where they already were they would actually have been ahead of our real-world technology, even back when Grima first appeared.

That's basically my logic for that, really. I do concur that it's a departure from what's historically been in Fire Emblem, although in this case I really do think it could be made to work.

The first exalt is really just my reply to people being pissed about Masked Marth not actually being Marth. He doesn't strictly NEED to exist I suppose.

Edited February 17, 2014 by Starlight36

[arvilino]

If Grima was that destructive would it just be hidden away in a little forgotten compound? Its existence would be pretty well known wouldn't it?

[Topaz Light]

Hmm... You raise a good point.
I want to work in that hopeless boss fight somehow but I'll need to rethink exactly where and when it would happen.
As I said, though, these are all just rough ideas.
Rough ideas unlikely to actually be acted on.

[Dwarfishh]

Hmm... You raise a good point.

I want to work in that hopeless boss fight somehow but I'll need to rethink exactly where and when it would happen.

As I said, though, these are all just rough ideas.

Rough ideas unlikely to actually be acted on.

Could be a temple to Grima, seeing as there's a whole religion based around him in Plegia. The boss is just a manifestation of some of his power.

[Czar_Yoshi]

I've always wished someone would make an advanced FE8 hack that resembles Awakening close enough so that people who wanted to make these "replacement fanfics" could plausibly see how it would look in a game without having to replace literally all of the media assets themselves.

My personal opinion is that FE has always been medieval and should stay that way, but to each his own. Just don't forget to make Cervantes recruitable.

Edited February 18, 2014 by Czar_Yoshi

[StitchKittehCX]

Fanfictions, maybe? :D

[Magical Glace]

Fanfictions, maybe? :D

As a Fanfic writer and reader, I assure you that if I saw something that was 'rewrite of (insert game here)' I would not read it.

That said, Awakening does need improvement in the plot department.

[Cowboy Karimov]

Seems very interesting, but probably still not enough to make the story any good. Not that I'm putting down the writers, they did their best.

[FionordeQuester]

As a Fanfic writer and reader, I assure you that if I saw something that was 'rewrite of (insert game here)' I would not read it.

That said, Awakening does need improvement in the plot department.

As for me, that would be the ONLY thing I read. Novelizations that is.

[Czar_Yoshi]

Fanfictions, maybe? :D

The thing is, Fanfics and game scripts are completely different due to one being text-based and one being an interactive, visual medium. Game stories are composed of dialogue and cutscenes, written works substitute narrated descriptions for cutscenes, and those two don't mesh so well. In this case (replacement stories) the stories are meant to be playable, so they should appear as they would in a game.

[FionordeQuester]

The thing is, Fanfics and game scripts are completely different due to one being text-based and one being an interactive, visual medium. Game stories are composed of dialogue and cutscenes, written works substitute narrated descriptions for cutscenes, and those two don't mesh so well. In this case (replacement stories) the stories are meant to be playable, so they should appear as they would in a game.

I disagree really. Anything narrative structure that works well in a game but not so well in a book can be easily worked around. Got too many Maverick bosses and antagonists in an X novelization? Don't go into detail on how every single fight went. Find it a little corny how all of those bosses are weak to a specific weapon? Don't highlight those weaknesses, don't have the weakness weapons be THAT effective unless they have a good reason to be, and be creative. Really, creativity is what's needed.

Heck, if you've never heard of Erico's novelizations of X1 and X2, go ahead and read them. X1 is a little rough around the edges since that was one of his first works, but X2 is absolutely brilliant!

Edited March 2, 2014 by FionordeQuester

[NobodiePichu]

I'd just like to point out that awakening had a really weak story already, and rewriting it is a hopeless task without turning it into not awakening. still i give my salute to you for at least giving it a shot, my biggest beef however is that time travel still seems to be a thing. get rid of it, or at least integrate it into the story in a more substantial way. time travel is a stupidly convoluted concept and will in most cases cripple a story, unless handled in an appropriate manner which Awakening most certainly does not.

also post apocalypse world idea is probably not for the best, try going for a more Renaissance or Victorian era setting of fire emblem but with magic i think that would be more interesting.

[kdports]

I was interested until the 'Grima as a bioweapon' part. Not to keen on the more technologically advanced stuff, or the first exalt, but I like the early chapters, having both a traitor boss (Yay!) and alternate mission objectives (Double Yay!)

I agree with this. Overall however, I like it.