Support Convo Contest(voting closed!)

[Dragoncat]

Oh, the timezone was mountain time? I hadn't known that for some reason, I was looking at the time written on my screen, which is 1:52 AM. I'm in the EST timezone. lol my bad. xP

EDIT: Oh, and Dcat. I see, but I recommend that next time the votes be public, because then we can see if anyone cheated and voted for themselves.

Yep it was my time.

And that's a good idea...I don't know why I didn't think of that. I wonder if a mod can change it?

[Anacybele]

I don't know. Guess we have to ask one?

Not that I actually think anyone here are cheaters, I'm just a "better safe than sorry" kind of person. :P

Edited May 17, 2015 by Anacybele

[Dragoncat]

I'll bite the bullet and be the first to post comments for everyone. Not including the ones I commented on already. If you don't see yours, go back through the topic to find it.

Robin/Morgan

Interesting with the chess thing, I can see that happening.

Ike/Elincia

This looks like something that can actually be in RD! Very good job.

Calill/Tauroneo

The part about Tauroneo's son was interesting and sad...I'm wondering, did you make that up or is there something I'm missing?

Cain/Jagen

Good idea, having the Bull/Panther nicknames explained here. I got the idea that Cain is the bull because he's proud/fierce, and Abel the panther...well, they call women who chase after younger men cougars, so maybe you mentioning him being a bit of a flirt has something to do with it? Idk.

Shinon/Lethe

It was amusing, even if that...encounter that happened after A level might not be in character for them. If it's what I think...there's the risk of them parenting a branded kid, which wouldn't be a popular choice for either of them. Some methods of birth control might exist but that has a chance of failing.

Dozla/Chigai

Could benefit from some more length, but it was a good try.

Canas/Nadine

I was intrigued when Nadine mentioned her brother. Also, I think you might've taken Canas' explanation of dark magic from a canon support, but that's no big deal.

Tia/Mana

A six winged wind spirit? Cool. You couldve replaced water magic with ice if you wanted. Ice is closer to water than wind. But I can't stop thinking of Ghast's romhack, Bloodlines. Mana would fit well in it, it's got creatures/mythical beings galore.

Cerise/Jinx

This had the potential to be really good and comical. You could've had Jinx being drunk and pervy, like you described him, but for some reason you didn't.

Max/Benjamin

I'm on the "Benjamin is older than he appears/claims" bandwagon...good job.

[Anacybele]

Yeah, doesn't seem like anyone else feels like commenting (I commented on all of them already, I think). And I'd really like to know why so few people liked mine. I thought I did really good on them. I'm not surprised to see that the two homo supports got a lot of votes though. Some people here seem to be biased towards those. Then again, my vote for Ike x Elincia up there was partly due to bias as well, so... I really have no right to complain.

I just hope that things like not liking the idea of Ike as a father or something aren't the main reasons for people not voting my entries.

Edited May 17, 2015 by Anacybele

[Dragoncat]

Spectral Procreation said *checks gender under name* he was going to comment, so...

But yeah. I hope people aren't being too biased. And...no need to be discouraged. It's not like the winner gets a million dollars.

Edited May 17, 2015 by Dragoncat

[Anacybele]

Yeah, that's true, so I'm not THAT worried about it and all. Besides, I already know that people generally like my characters. I've had much more positive feedback about them than negative overall. So I've got character creating/developing down. Just gotta figure out what I DO need to work on.

EDIT: Oh, and Dcat, Tauroneo actually does have a son. In fact, he has two. He mentions them in his support with Rolf in PoR. He even mentions the name of one of them, which is Josh. He actually mistakes Rolf for Josh for a moment. lol

Edited May 18, 2015 by Anacybele

[SilverHairedFreak25]

I think you might've taken Canas' explanation of dark magic from a canon support, but that's no big deal.

Any direct quotation was completely unintentional, I assure you, lol

[-Cynthia-]

Yeah the bit about Tauroneo's son was from his Rolf support in PoR (and promising to visit Largo was from his other PoR support). The beginning of the C support makes a bit more sense if you had them fight each other in 3-E as it snowballs from that boss conversation.

I voted my favorite as Frederick/Lon'qu because it felt the most like an actual FE support. Frederick and Lon'qu both had consistent characterization. It had an appropriate length for Awakening supports- it may seem short but looking at other supports it's pretty average and Lon'qu is not a verbose guy. It had appropriate use of 'action dialogue' *sounds of swords clashing* is something Awakening supports actually do for instance.

Ana you seem to want feedback so I'll give my $0.02. I wasn't a big fan of the Ike/Lalita support because I felt that Ike's characterization was off. Ike's model for parenthood would naturally be Greil, who obviously cares about his children but is rather distant towards them and doesn't display a lot of emotional affect. I can't imagine Greil calling Mist his little princess or having tickle fights with her or other...cutesy things. Ike is similar to Greil in that he doesn't display his affection very often, even with people he cares about (Mist, Titania, Soren etc.)- there are rare instances like the RD conversation with Soren where he opens up but these are few and far between. I wouldn't have guessed the father in this support was Ike without being told so.

The support also breaks FE style conventions with some of the action dialogue- FE doesn't have cutscenes (and doesn't use asterisks to indicate actions), so how is Ike pulling out the shirt and dress for instance? It may seem nitpicky, but being only able to express actions through dialogue and other simple things like characters entering/exiting the screen is part of the challenge.

I liked Kael/Lalita better, I got a pretty good sense of Kael and Lalita's characters and Ike's characterization was close to canon IMO(I'm assuming an OC and not Elincia is the mother though, Elincia telling her kids to kick people in the nuts would be...strange). The issues I had were mostly stylistic- it has some of that non-FE style action dialogue I was mentioning earlier and the A support was long- it's 40 lines or so and the longest FE9 supports I can find are about 25 lines.

[Dragoncat]

Hey, I'd like feedback too :)

I can respond to your critique but...that's not my job since those weren't my supports.

[SilverHairedFreak25]

Can I have some feedback too?

*dives into bunker & prepares to be torn apart*

[Anacybele]

Ana you seem to want feedback so I'll give my $0.02. I wasn't a big fan of the Ike/Lalita support because I felt that Ike's characterization was off. Ike's model for parenthood would naturally be Greil, who obviously cares about his children but is rather distant towards them and doesn't display a lot of emotional affect. I can't imagine Greil calling Mist his little princess or having tickle fights with her or other...cutesy things. Ike is similar to Greil in that he doesn't display his affection very often, even with people he cares about (Mist, Titania, Soren etc.)- there are rare instances like the RD conversation with Soren where he opens up but these are few and far between. I wouldn't have guessed the father in this support was Ike without being told so.

The support also breaks FE style conventions with some of the action dialogue- FE doesn't have cutscenes (and doesn't use asterisks to indicate actions), so how is Ike pulling out the shirt and dress for instance? It may seem nitpicky, but being only able to express actions through dialogue and other simple things like characters entering/exiting the screen is part of the challenge.

I liked Kael/Lalita better, I got a pretty good sense of Kael and Lalita's characters and Ike's characterization was close to canon IMO(I'm assuming an OC and not Elincia is the mother though, Elincia telling her kids to kick people in the nuts would be...strange). The issues I had were mostly stylistic- it has some of that non-FE style action dialogue I was mentioning earlier and the A support was long- it's 40 lines or so and the longest FE9 supports I can find are about 25 lines.

Yeah, I can see how you wouldn't picture the Ike we see in the games calling his daughter his little princess and such. That's perfectly understandable. But I felt it was okay in this support because keep in mind that it features an Ike in his late thirties, probably almost 40, not the younger Ike we see in PoR and RD. And as he hinted, when he was younger, he didn't at all like the idea of those baby clothes or the nickname and all. But he changed his mind as time passed and he got older and more used to being a parent. You'd be surprised at how much people can change after they become parents, you know. They often get smarter and lead better lives than they did before becoming a parent because parenthood has made them more responsible and opened up new experiences for them. Also, I agree that Ike would take after Greil as a parent too, as I kept Ike's bluntness and stubbornness there, but that doesn't mean he has to be exactly the same.

I can't please everyone though, I understand that too. I just really thought the "little princess" bit was too cute to pass up, especially since it's also a bit of a reference to Elincia's royal blood and she's the mother.

As for Elincia telling her daughter she can get a little dirty in a fight, well, I got that idea from one of my co-author's fics. lol He wrote a scene with Ike helping Elincia to train and he told her that sometimes one has to get dirty in a fight and she proceeded to kick him right down there and basically go "is this what you mean?" XD So yeah, I couldn't pass that up either.

But at the same time, since I didn't really specify the mother in the Kael/Lalita support, I suppose imagining that it's someone else is fine too.

Thanks for the feedback, I understand what at least one person didn't like now and I'm glad of that. :)

Edited May 18, 2015 by Anacybele

[Spectral Procreation]

Spectral Procreation said *checks gender under name* he was going to comment, so...

But yeah. I hope people aren't being too biased. And...no need to be discouraged. It's not like the winner gets a million dollars.

Yes, I still am! I actually haven't even voted yet, since I want to do so after I finish writing up all the comments. I'm working on writing a short paragraph for each support, so I'll have that posted (or edited in) soon!

[Chigai]

Dozla/Chigai

Could benefit from some more length, but it was a good try.

[Kon]

I might try giving feedback, but I can't make any guarantees.

[Dragoncat]

*pats* Don't feel too bent out of shape! I just feel that a lot more could be done with that support. Maybe some more characterization would help? You said Chigai was a thief manakete, so maybe you couldve had Dozla ask why he took up thieving as opposed to using his dragon form. Or something.

Also I realized I didn't say anything about your other entry...hmm, maybe some stuff about where Avia comes from would be good.

[Chigai]

*pats* Don't feel too bent out of shape! I just feel that a lot more could be done with that support. Maybe some more characterization would help? You said Chigai was a thief manakete, so maybe you couldve had Dozla ask why he took up thieving as opposed to using his dragon form. Or something.

Also I realized I didn't say anything about your other entry...hmm, maybe some stuff about where Avia comes from would be good.

Ah, you're right... If someone DOES end up doing another one of these, I'll rewrite it, but with more stuff like that. Thanks for the suggestion and feedback. It helps.

[Anacybele]

Oh yeah, one thing I forgot about Greil's being distant from his children. One big reason he was like that was because he had some huge secrets to hide. Ike has no such things to hide or a reason to keep anything secret from his kids, so I don't think he needs to be as distant as Greil was. Also, maybe before Elena got killed, Greil was more affectionate and open.

Edited May 18, 2015 by Anacybele

[Snowy_One]

I, too, am interested in feedback. I'll give my own opinions a bit later as well. Least on those I feel I can comment on.

[-Cynthia-]

Rannoc/Darcen: I liked it well enough overall though the end of the B support name drops a bunch of characters. In context this might have been more interesting, but here they're just kind of random since they don't seem important to Rannoc and Darcen's relationship.

Boyd/Cerai: I liked it, Boyd seemed in character and I like how they talked about their families. Boyd losing his axe reminded me of Vaike, but Vaike and Boyd are the 'meathead fighter' archetype anyway so it wasn't terribly unusual.

Nadine/Canas: Canas is very in-character here, I would be able to know it was him without the name being attached. The C support is a bit of a waste I feel, you probably could have managed to fit more content in here.

Tia/Mana: All right overall, though Mana's personality is a bit inconsistent. She's frightened of Tia at the end of the C support and then acts nonchalant in the B support. Also not sure why a half-spirit fears imprisonment by a twelve year old.

[Chocolate Kitty]

I would say give me feedback too but I wrote that in like 25 minutes, I know it's pretty bad lol

[-Cynthia-]

Shinon/Lethe was amusing in its own way, but the premise was pretty implausible given how laguz/beorc relations end up. Lethe giving up being a proud warrior of Gallia for some douche beorc isn't in character.

[SilverHairedFreak25]

Nadine/Canas: Canas is very in-character here, I would be able to know it was him without the name being attached. The C support is a bit of a waste I feel, you probably could have managed to fit more content in here.

Glad you liked how I wrote Canas! He's one of my favorite characters in FE7 and the series in general. As for the C support, I wanted a bit of a florina/Hector-type dialogue. I feel that some full supports tell a story, and I wanted a "proper" introduction between the two. Given who, or should I say "what" Nadine is, wouldn't it be awkward to have a character and an individual of a race that was trying to kill him not too long ago just "meet"?

[Spectral Procreation]

Sorry it took so long, but here's comments on everyone's submissions. I tried to stick with overall impressions, so if you want some elaboration on exactly what I'm talking about, shoot me a PM and we can talk about it.

For the record, I ended up voting as follows:

Canon x Canon: Frederick/Lon'qu

Canon x OC: Canas/Nadine

OC x OC: Lemming/Avia

Favorites: The three above + Calill/Tauroneo and Shinon/Lethe

[spoiler=Ike x Lalita]It was funny seeing Ike played up as the jolly dad, and I really enjoyed the ending where he reveals he used to be just as embarrassed as Lalita about that kind of stuff. I'm not sure if it fits my impression of Ike, but then again, I never played Radiant Dawn and you yourself say you used your imagination for his attitude as a parent, so I won't bring accuracy in characterization into this. That aside, you do a good job with bringing out the personality of the two characters. The only problems I have with it are some awkward sentences and phrases. To me, it's a bit difficult to read out loud.

[spoiler=Rannoc x Darcen]A subtle support where Darcen goes from a go-between to a friend. Rannoc really overshadows Darcen here. The C Rank is great, but the B Rank and the A Rank feels a bit bland. In the B Rank, there's the issue of the fear of dragon laguz, but we never get to hear what Darcen himself thinks and why he isn't scared. We hear a bit too much of what everyone else thinks, I feel, when the support is about Rannoc and Darcen. The A Rank is Dark Magic 101 with a spar at the end, and I don't really feel like it lives up to the potential of a relationship between an outgoing mage and a red dragon.

[spoiler=Atlantic x Murk]I thought this support was short and sweet. It was simple and read like something you'd see in one of the GBA games. Even if it was short, I felt like I got a good enough grasp of Atlantic's and Murk's personalities. The only thing I can think of would be expanding the B Rank conversation a bit. Since the C and A Rank conversations have the theme of dragons and humans coexisting, I think right now the B Rank conversation feels out-of-place.

[spoiler=Boyd x Cerai]I think this support was pretty good. It looks like something that could be in Awakening, which I think is what you were going for. And yes, I agree, it is difficult to not have the romance come out of nowhere with the support structure, so I won't blame you for that. The B Rank is easily the best conversation with the swapping of family stories, so much so that the A Rank conversation feels a bit lacking, so I wonder if maybe it would be better to switch the two? Just an idea.

[spoiler=Tia x Mana]I thought this support's theme was neat, of a curious mage girl and a half-spirit worried about becoming an experiment. I don't really know too much about the world around these characters, but Mana does a good job in explaining what is relevant to her suspicions. One thing that strikes me as strange is Tia's little rant about wanting to see a world without magic. Doesn't she live in a world that is mostly without magic? Perhaps I just don't know enough about what being a half-spirit means. In any case, the personalities definitely come through in the dialogue, which is probably the most important part.

[spoiler=Canas x Nadine]I was a bit surprised Canas was so blunt, but then I referred back to his supports in FE7 and found that he really is. Though, does it feel like maybe Canas speech should be a bit higher and more...scholarly, here? Just something I noticed when looking at the actual supports. I also thought that his brothers were still alive, just consumed by dark magic? But anyways, I liked Nadine as a character and I think it's a very appropriate support for Canas. I wish he would have had a support like this in FE7.

[spoiler=Chigai x Dozla]A bit disappointing, to be brutally honest. All of Dozla's supports are so ridiculous, it feels odd to read something where he's actually a bit grounded. I would totally expect Dozla to believe Chigai when he says he's planning on donating to the orphanages, and actually help him, maybe to the point where Chigai feels guilty and then tries to make it up to him? In any case, your writing is sound, so I think a pairing like this has a lot of potential.

[spoiler=Morgan x Robin]Again, your writing is sound, but it feels too much like the other Robin x Morgan supports. I would have liked to see another aspect of Robin and Morgan's relationship explored.

[spoiler=Cerise x Jinx]Considering that Cerise is an angel, which I'm assuming is some other kind of race, I think this is one of those OC x OC supports that could have really benefited from some explanation beforehand. Is the relationship between humans and angels similar to that of Beorc and Laguz in Tellius? Did humans know that angels exist? Are the angels part of a religious belief? There's so many questions that make it a bit hard to evaluate this support. I will say that the dialogue seems a bit shallow. Maybe if the S Rank (sans the marriage) was the A Rank? Then the S Rank would be Cerise deciding to ignore her mother's warnings and agree to wed a human. That might give the support the depth I think it needs.

[spoiler=Cain x Jagen]The C Rank is a bit...awkward, in my opinion. It reminds me of a teenage boy arguing with his father, and Cain isn't that young even in Shadow Dragon, is he? Grammatically there are errors throughout the support, so be wary of that. Overall I think you did good in exploring Cain's background and his relationship with Jagen, especially during the War of Shadows.

[spoiler=Frederick x Lon'qu]A+, 10/10, would yaoi again, and I barely even touch the stuff. But seriously, great job, probably my favorite overall. It's a really polished support and something I would have wanted to see in Awakening.

[spoiler=Ike x Elincia]I have to admit, I groaned when I first saw Ike x Elincia, but after reading it I think you did a pretty good job here. Ike and Elincia were pretty accurate as far as I could tell, though do take into account I've only played Path of Radiance and not Radiant Dawn. Nothing really wowed me, but I didn't cringe anywhere either.

[spoiler=Lemming x Avia]This is probably my favorite of your supports. I get a real sense of their personalities through the dialogue and both of the characters just seem really likable. The only thing that sticks out to me is the S Rank -- I feel there should possibly be a bit more disbelief on Avia's part, especially since it seems like Lemming asks pretty suddenly, and didn't seem to prepare it beforehand. Other than that, some solid bits of dialogue here.

[spoiler=Kael x Lalita]A lot of nice brother and sister banter here. Again, there's a lot here to bring out Kael and Lalita as characters but...there's a LOT here, especially with that A Rank conversation. Maybe you could look at trimming them up a bit? For example, is that last bit about Ike's nickname in the B Rank conversation really necessary? And does Ike really need to intervene in the A Rank conversation? I would personally rather see the siblings work it out themselves than rely on Ike to set things straight.

[spoiler=Calill x Tauroneo]Really good work here, and a serious contender for my vote -- to the point where I only picked the Frederick x Lon'qu one just because I never played Radiant Dawn and didn't really care for Tauroneo and Calill in PoR. The writing is very solid and polished, and the theme of the support is strong and evident. Another support I think could actually be in a FE game.

[spoiler=Shinon x Lethe]Though it was really well-written, I cannot get over how out-of-character this feels for both Shinon and Lethe, especially the A and S Rank conversations. There's just way too much of a leap from C Rank to B Rank. Shinon struck me as the type who wouldn't even bother taunting a laguz like that, at least in the beginning. Maybe if the B Rank was bumped up to A Rank and there was another conversation in between that kind of bridged that gap...I don't know. But perceived inaccuracies aside, there's still a lot of good stuff here and this would probably be my favorite if it were an OC Beorc and an OC Laguz.

[SilverHairedFreak25]

[spoiler=Canas x Nadine]I was a bit surprised Canas was so blunt, but then I referred back to his supports in FE7 and found that he really is. Though, does it feel like maybe Canas speech should be a bit higher and more...scholarly, here? Just something I noticed when looking at the actual supports. I also thought that his brothers were still alive, just consumed by dark magic? But anyways, I liked Nadine as a character and I think it's a very appropriate support for Canas. I wish he would have had a support like this in FE7.

D'OH! I never read the Canas x Pent support, so whatever happened to his three brothers was up in the air to me. I just assumed they were dead. Edited May 18, 2015 by SilverHairedFreak25

[-Cynthia-]

Thanks for all the feedback Spectral Procreation! I liked how you gave a little world background before your support- without it the mention of the Oracle in the A support would have been out of nowhere and likely left the reader confused in a bad way.