Luxian Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Hi guys. Well, straight to the point, I wanted to ask everyone if you have any idea on how to get more confidence... Well I have a very important entrance exam in a few months which will determine if I can reach one of the school I want to attend, and the selection is pretty hard. The thing is that I have to undergo the written exam first, and I'm already stressed and unsure about it. But, the real problem is what comes afterwards, the orals. You see, I am extremely shy, as in I cannot engage a conversation and when there is too much people I don't know what to say and keep my mouth shut, smiling in the background... And when I know I'm evaluated, no matter how much I know my topic or how close I am with my examinator (friends, teachers...) words won't come and my way of speaking is.... Uninteresting, monotone and I cut my words... And apparently, even my gestures betray me : I keep swirling the rope of my hoodie, I might tremble a bit. Well I think you can picture me as your average socially awkward guy, despite I kind of want to get rid of that trait or at least for my exams. I know it is exhausting for the examinator too to hear such an awful speech. Do any of you have an idea on how to cool your mind in front of people, or even before an oral, and to speak naturally and fluently ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 is the oral worth more than the written? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luxian Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 (edited) Well the written makes you admissible so it is just the first step (but quite the first step anyway) and the oral determines if you are in the few ones who have been chosen to go to that school or not. And if I'm not mistaken the school I'm aiming at only admits 24 students... So yeah, orals are quite decisive. Edited October 29, 2015 by Luxian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zasplach Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Hi guys. Well, straight to the point, I wanted to ask everyone if you have any idea on how to get more confidence... Well I have a very important entrance exam in a few months which will determine if I can reach one of the school I want to attend, and the selection is pretty hard. The thing is that I have to undergo the written exam first, and I'm already stressed and unsure about it. But, the real problem is what comes afterwards, the orals. You see, I am extremely shy, as in I cannot engage a conversation and when there is too much people I don't know what to say and keep my mouth shut, smiling in the background... And when I know I'm evaluated, no matter how much I know my topic or how close I am with my examinator (friends, teachers...) words won't come and my way of speaking is.... Uninteresting, monotone and I cut my words... And apparently, even my gestures betray me : I keep swirling the rope of my hoodie, I might tremble a bit. Well I think you can picture me as your average socially awkward guy, despite I kind of want to get rid of that trait or at least for my exams. I know it is exhausting for the examinator too to hear such an awful speech. Do any of you have an idea on how to cool your mind in front of people, or even before an oral, and to speak naturally and fluently ? The only thing to do is practice. I was never particularly shy, but every one finds giving speeches difficult. In high school I was on a academic team where we had to give a prepared speech and I was really bad at it in the beginning, but I kept practicing every morning, in front of different people in different places at different times. If it's an interview, you just need to go out of your way and talk with people, talk about everything. Some people in life are shy, you have to work through it if it's coming in the way of your dreams. If you have a friend who is particularly outgoing and more adept at the charismatic arts, have them help you, take advice and more importantly criticism. Or have a drama/english teacher help you, you just have to work through the barrier, if it's really what you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radiant head Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I realize this isn't helpful, but confidence is basically just "fake it till you make it" and nothing more. It's like roleplaying. For me, I have to just be able to convince myself for those few minutes or however long, that I got this. Practice is probably the best thing you can do. Is this like an interview? Do you have an idea of what they might ask? Having friends/family coach you on this can be a huge help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 take a shot before your interview you will be more sociable gonna jump on the practice with friends bandwagon, though i'm not quite sure about this. you're comfortable around your friends, so the environment would not be well suited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radiant head Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Even so, learning of what you're capable of doing in a comfortable environment goes a long way to building confidence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luxian Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 (edited) Thank you all for answering ^^ Unfortunately it's not really just about an interview... Concerning english you are given a text about news (very probably news from this year) and I have to discuss about this as in the impacts, or the pros and the cons and so on... My english is average but I can't organize my arguments so it is hard to follow me. On the scientific subjects you are given an exercice you have to resolve orally and one of them is a scientific document you have to discuss about, but it's the same story And finally I have to make a presentation about a topic I choose (for my case violin), and there is a kind of interview at the end. Sure I will try to practice with my friends then. Unfortunately, there is no drama teacher in my school and I live far from my family... And sometimes I also think talk with people is like acting. However sometimes I feel like I can't keep the mask for too long and I just get back to my original self. I might be scared of somehing but I can't know what... take a shot before your interview you will be more sociable gonna jump on the practice with friends bandwagon, though i'm not quite sure about this. you're comfortable around your friends, so the environment would not be well suited. Okay I'll do this Also someone told me long ago to train in front of my mirror... Everything goes smooth until I meet a public... Am I doing that wrong ? Edited October 29, 2015 by Luxian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricaofRenais Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Essays either go smoothly of can be a pain, if you have any idea what the subject is going to be study up and don't worry too much, they tend to give you plenty of time even if you have some trouble starting. As to speaking in public, I had a lot of trouble with this, but I found out that my profs were very nice and as long as I kept on subject and showed knowledge on what they asked they were fine with me being a little shy, it depends on the type of friends you have whether practicing in front of them will work, ( my dad used to make fun of me when I read out loud and it took me awhile before I was willing to read in my classes) practice and find some one who will be nice when they help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zasplach Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Thank you all for answering ^^ Unfortunately it's not really just about an interview... Concerning english you are given a text about news (very probably news from this year) and I have to discuss about this as in the impacts, or the pros and the cons and so on... My english is average but I can't organize my arguments so it is hard to follow me. On the scientific subjects you are given an exercice you have to resolve orally and one of them is a scientific document you have to discuss about, but it's the same story And finally I have to make a presentation about a topic I choose (for my case violin), and there is a kind of interview at the end. Sure I will try to practice with my friends then. Unfortunately, there is no drama teacher in my school and I live far from my family... And sometimes I also think talk with people is like acting. However sometimes I feel like I can't keep the mask for too long and I just get back to my original self. I might be scared of somehing but I can't know what... Okay I'll do this Also someone told me long ago to train in front of my mirror... Everything goes smooth until I meet a public... Am I doing that wrong ? Practicing in front of a mirror is meant to look at yourself to help correct any awkward looking motions you have, basically meant for self-actualization. It sounds like you know what is going to be in front of you, that's good; now you can prepare for the task ahead. Practice what the interview is going to entail. In the morning, grab a paper in English (or look online) and look at the front headline and discuss the ramifications of that headline, what does it mean, what's the significance, the more you do it, the better you will be. The saying is perfect practice makes perfect. Keep formulating your ideas in a logical manner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Do any of you have an idea on how to cool your mind in front of people, or even before an oral, and to speak naturally and fluently ? I'm not the adequate person for saying anything about the topic, but I don't think there is an idea or trick to do that. It's simply something you do that your brain is adapted to do. You'll cool your mind and speak naturally when you are confident on yourself and your abilities (which takes practice), and you'll speak fluently after you practice enough. The only way to beat stress is by becoming better, and to become better you need to practice. Inspiration and motivation is what you need to keep practicing enough until you can do these things you need to do well. I can't guarantee that you'll become a very fluent speaker who convinces crowds nor that you'll do it perfectly and casually because only gifted people can reach so far, but with enough practice you -will- speak naturally and fluently and keep your mind cool. You might not do it perfectly but you can learn to do well. If you have issues with developping arguments then you'll need to develop your critical thinking. This is also something that develops through reading and taking your time to think about the argument presented on the text, and I've been told that studying logic helps. Again, I'm not the best person to give tips on that because I'm also horrible at this. I have a textbook here, if you'd like one, with some exercises on basic logic that were sent to me by someone competent at it. After doing them, you'll be able to analyze arguments better (and make better arguments), at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted35362 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) try practicing a lot. if you know exactly what to say and do before you walk in, then you dont need to feel unsure about yourself. yeah this is coming from a girl who has like no confidence and is afraid of people in person. Edited October 30, 2015 by xXHoshiHeartsXx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Echoing the practice thing, and make sure you really know my material. Last semester I had to give two presentations. One of them I did poorly on and stuttered a lot and forgot my lines, and the other one the profs said I was very natural and showed personality and did well on. So what did I do differently? Presentation A was on a subject I had to research. Being a final-year-of-undergrad computer scientist at the time, I had things I prioritized over a presentation in a class I didn't care too much about, and just have to pass to graduate. So I didn't really put too much effort into researching, and instead I just bullshitted half of it. As a result of being fairly low on my priority list, I also didn't bother to practice. I wrote some notes down on an index card, but they didn't do well to help me remember what I'm supposed to say when I didn't practice at all. Presentation B was about my year-long research/programming project that I myself wrote. Nobody knows about this better than me, because I'm the one who wrote the program. So I already went in knowing my shit very well. On top of that, this was for a course I cared about, and I also wanted to do well instead of just "whatever, I'll pass" on it. So I wrote some slides and practiced with the slides several times and really prepared myself. And then I went up, and talked about this subject I know very well, and having practiced it went a lot smoother. Didn't even need cards. So yeah. Know your shit, and practice a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 Since you have a few months get into the habit of practicing talking in your everyday life I used to be like that but I just started to force myself to make eye contact and keep my hands still when talking to people every day and eventually it worked out for me (it took like less than a month) Some things that might help you before the exam: - Spend a lot of time on your physical appearance on that day, that actually will give you a big confidence boost. be clean and everything - Eat breakfast no one wants to be hungry while giving a speech (go for eggs they're so good for the brain) - Sleep, it seems so obvious but it's a must Keep these things in mind: - Even though you shouldn't compare yourself to other people, trust me, you are not the worst at giving speeches. there will always be people worse than you so don't worry about embarrassing yourself. I'm sure those examiners have seen it all - If you do feel like you've embarrassed yourself please keep this in mind: no one cares. literally no one. nobody will remember your speech in a week or two. the truth is that even tho it seems like it, people usually aren't memorizing every single detail about you so it's okay - The person examining you could be a complete stranger. chances are you'll never see them again. - Teachers/whoever the examiner is are never out to get you - Everything is fixable. no failures are certain Speech related stuff: - I see that you say that you know your topic well, but ngl I don't think you know it well enough. if you're socially awkward then all that's different is that you have to put a little more effort in. it sucks but it's what you have to do - If you stutter or forget your words don't worry. don't apologize. just recover and move on, pretend it never happened. - Posture. keep your head up, make eye contact. don't slouch (standing or sitting). - Your hands should naturally stay by your side, or maybe those explanatory hand gestures. in speech and debate some events wanted people to be perfectly still whereas some others didn't so it all depends. - Relax your shoulders, don't be stiff Organizing arguments: - Don't know what order to go in? articles, or the good ones at least, usually have a logical order. address each section in order of the article. that's it. - If you catch that you've repeated something just throw in a "as stated before" or something. - Science is so linear. the document should probably be meticulous. same thing as before, just go in order of the way the info in the document is written. OVERALL just remember, they're just there to give you a grade/have you pass and move tf on. keep saying that to yourself until it sinks in. say it to yourself when you feel nervous teachers/examiners don't want you to fail. they want you to pass. you don't get a good grade/don't pass? it happens, just find a solution, because there's no way that your life is over if you mess up once, and anyone who tells u that should really stfu. gl, i'd add more but i dont know much else about your situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luxian Posted November 6, 2015 Author Share Posted November 6, 2015 Thank you all for your advices. I feel a bit relieved now. I will begin to practice it then. First, I'll try to participate more in class and I'll try to look for someone who might want to lend me a hand. If anything happens, I'll let you guys know. If you still have any advice for me, I'm open ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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