Palsy Brown Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I'd roll my tongue off her vagina if you know what I mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mufasa Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 called it. ur too easy of an read lyle. You're too easy of a target. ^_^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intoner Two Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I'd roll my tongue off her vagina if you know what I mean now for my trademark "EWWWW!" ok, I feel better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyosua Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Guys... wtf. Seriously. Go grow a pair of balls, get some sex education, and find some release from your obvious sexual tension, and keep it off my god damn forums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Hero Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 (edited) Here's another English essay I had to slave out. Two quick notes, first: 1. My stories are a spoof off of another kid's in my class named Ben. He tries to make his serious, so instead of coming up with random thoughts on a paper, I just spoof his. 2. One line (don't ask) that the Masked Murderer says in Ben's story is "I'm gonna make you my back row..." That's because the killer takes his victims' teeth. Odd, I know.... 3. John and Lisa were characters from his story as well. Anyway, I'm almost done with it. It was a long and hard day, and I had just gotten home. Right as I sat down, first, my two friends, John and Lisa, came knocking on my door. It turns out that they wanted to go camping this weekend. I told them to come by on Friday so we could talk about it more, because I was pooped out that night. Obviously, they came back then. We were camping out in my backyard, and they had giant backpacks filled with supplies. “Hey, guys,” I said. “That's a lot of stuff you have to carry.” Lisa looked at me for a few seconds, took off her backpack, and held it out to me. “You have to carry these because I'm too fragile and pathetic.” This was crazy! “Hey, why don't you make John do it it, huh!?” John stared at me. I swear, that guy was emo today. “My son died in the Bahamas, so I'm not going.” And just like that, Travolta walked away. Now I had to carry TWO backpacks. I used that as my excuse to make Lisa hold one. “Sorry, but I can't camp either, Main Character. Bart says my hair and I have to go to the Pineapple Party tonight. See ya.” And just like that, my friends blew me off. This was supposed to be a fabulous camping trip, but no, it's just me sitting in my back yard with two giant backpacks. If I was going to get out of carrying this crap, I had to get some real friends. I walked downtown to find some victims. One particular thing caught my attention: There was a news report on a TV in one of the stores. “In other news, a masked murderer has escaped prison about three minutes ago, and we have live footage. Why didn't we stop him? Ask Ben Dreiker. This was all his stupid idea. Anyway, this particular masked murderer's diet is mainly people camping in their backyard.” This meant that I had couldn't go camping tonight. But I had to, anyway. If I didn't, I'd let all my friends down! I bravely began my trek to the backyard. I was so scared. It was cold. It was dark. My grammar went back to second grade. And then, I heard IT. “Oogly boogity woogity!” I heard a rustle from a bush. It was him! It was the masked murderer and he had come for me! I jumped into my van, but there was still someone in it, and it rolled off a cliff and into the Sarlaac pit! I was now completely vulnerable to this killer! My backpacks prevented me from running. In fact, they were giving me a pressure point and it was really uncomfortable. As the masked murderer approaching, I heard his voice again: “I'm gonna make you my back row!” And then I realized IT. This was no “masked murderer”. This was much, much worse. It could be none other than Michael Jackson. None other! Aah! I had to think fast! “Look!” I shouted. “A young child with no adult supervision!” Michael spun around. “I'll keep you safe, little boy!” And just like that, he was gone. I had to run back to my house as fast as I could! I dashed through the door and locked it, and any other entrance to the house. Then I looked around. I didn't believe what I had seen, and I took a quick double-take. This wasn't my house..... THIS! WAS! SPARTA!!! Edited January 7, 2009 by Destiny Hero Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Hero Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 POST COMMENTS!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnell Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 You're turning this into school?! That's um... special. It's ok for fun, but I would never let a teacher see that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 F Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noremaC Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 You need to take a writing class.......because....uh......none of them are even CLOSE to as good a 7th-8th grader (which I presume you are because you state you are 14). you don't write funny stories for school, even if said stories aren't funny, you are suppose to write serious ones, even if you are told to write a silly stories, this wouldn't do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 POST COMMENTS!!!! You REALLLY want us to? F This Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Hero Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 You're turning this into school?! That's um... special. It's ok for fun, but I would never let a teacher see that. Why wouldn't you let a teacher see that? My school has good teachers that won't kill me for making something funny. Plus, I'm going to read this to the class. F Is for friends who do stuff together! You need to take a writing class.......because....uh......none of them are even CLOSE to as good a 7th-8th grader (which I presume you are because you state you are 14).you don't write funny stories for school, even if said stories aren't funny, you are suppose to write serious ones, even if you are told to write a silly stories, this wouldn't do. This was just creative writing. Rough draft, too. And if it's going to be detailed writing, it wouldn't be funny any more. And my school doesn't suck. If we have to turn in writing, it doesn't have to be some Mel Gibson would write. It' supposed to be creative. If I wanted to write "quality writing", I'd make something bland, emotionless and boring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noremaC Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Why wouldn't you let a teacher see that? My school has good teachers that won't kill me for making something funny. Plus, I'm going to read this to the class. ....poor class........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_____ Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 If I wanted to write "quality writing", I'd make something bland, emotionless and boring. Because that's obviously the definition of "quality". The style of the story is terrible, also. It's really childish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Hero Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 ....poor class........ No, more like the teachers aren't strict old ladies. If the teacher likes the story, it gets a good grade. Because that's obviously the definition of "quality". Look at a book by a famours author. Chances are, that book is emotionless, and every single sentence will end in a period no matter what, and the writer will show as little evidence that he is human as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noremaC Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Because that's obviously the definition of "quality".The style of the story is terrible, also. It's really childish. and the plot changes way too much, way too fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noremaC Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Look at a book by a famours author. Chances are, that book is emotionless, and every single sentence will end in a period no matter what, and the writer will show as little evidence that he is human as possible. So you are saying THAT is better and has more emotion that most famous books? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_____ Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Look at a book by a famours author. Chances are, that book is emotionless, and every single sentence will end in a period no matter what, and the writer will show as little evidence that he is human as possible. Do you even read books? That's the stupidest comment ever. Also, spoofing another kid's essay just because you can't think of an idea is really, really bad. Did you ever think that he might get offended because you're mocking his work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Hero Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 and the plot changes way too much, way too fast. Maybe because it's suppposed to? It's a one-page story >_> Also, spoofing another kid's essay just because you can't think of an idea is really, really bad. Did you ever think that he might get offended because you're mocking his work? No, he's fine with it. I dump all my thoughts into my doodle page and two other things, so I'm out of ideas, so I just take the basic idea of someone else's work and I make it funny. Why would he be offended? It's not like everyone in the world is Luxord, and gets pissed off at every single comment and remark possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_____ Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 No, he's fine with it. I dump all my thoughts into my doodle page and two other things, so I'm out of ideas, so I just take the basic idea of someone else's work and I make it funny. Why would he be offended? It's not like everyone in the world is Luxord, and gets pissed off at every single comment and remark possible. You're degrading his hard work by mocking it. If a bunch of people started mocking your Culbert Report shit, wouldn't you get a bit ticked off? Do unto others what you want done to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florete Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 That was...terrible. I'll be surprised if you get a good grade on that. It wasn't well told, it didn't make a bit of sense, and it could even be seen as offensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Hero Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 You're degrading his hard work by mocking it. If a bunch of people started mocking your Culbert Report shit, wouldn't you get a bit ticked off? Do unto others what you want done to you. Yes, I am degrading his hard work by mocking it. That kid slaved day and night for twenty minutes to make that one-page essay, and by spoofing it, I'm telling him it was a piece of shit, right? >________> I swear, every single person on this forum is some retard who gets offended by every single little thing possible. That was...terrible. I'll be surprised if you get a good grade on that. It wasn't well told, it didn't make a bit of sense, and it could even be seen as offensive. More proof. And if anyone cares, I finished it. I turned around, and some dude kicked me down into a pit. It was pitch black and freezing cold, and I had no sense of direction. Someone grabbed me and chained me down while I was still stunned from the fall. I looked around again, and suddenly a square in the wall in front of me lit up. It looked like a television, so I kept watching. Then, after a few minutes, a movie began playing on the screen. It was called “Twilight”, and I was forced to watch it. And that was the day I almost died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_____ Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 (edited) Yes, I am degrading his hard work by mocking it. That kid slaved day and night for twenty minutes to make that one-page essay, and by spoofing it, I'm telling him it was a piece of shit, right?>________> I swear, every single person on this forum is some retard who gets offended by every single little thing possible. Your flaming proves that: 1.) You're an idiot. (loltheirony) 2.) You can't respond to an intelligent comment without being a jackass. Um, yeah. You are. You said in the first post you thought his stories sucked, and that's why you were making fun of them. lrn2reed Edited January 8, 2009 by ChaosNinji Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Hero Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Your flaming proves that:1.) You're an idiot. (loltheirony) 2.) You can't respond to an intelligent comment without being a jackass. Um, yeah. You are. You said in the first post you thought his stories sucked, and that's why you were making fun of them. lrn2reed Because they were bland and emotionless and weren't entertaining at all. Just a story and nothing else. But mine is a story and it's funny, so it at least has a reason to be read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noremaC Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Because they were bland and emotionless and weren't entertaining at all. Just a story and nothing else. But mine is a story and it's funny, so it at least has a reason to be read. One thing that made me even chuckle about the story is how good you thought it was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_____ Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Because they were bland and emotionless and weren't entertaining at all. Just a story and nothing else. But mine is a story and it's funny, so it at least has a reason to be read. Wow. Wrong on so many levels. I'd say his stories > yours. If you're going to spoof something, at least make it funny. Obviously, everyone thinks you have no idea what "funny" actually means, because there was nothing funny in that shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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