Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 (edited) I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words "you're fired." "You're fired." Oh, "you're fired." He just makes people sad. And an office can't function that way. No way. "You're fired." I think if I had a catchphrase it would be "you're hired, and you can work here as long as you want." But that's unrealistic, so... Edited August 9, 2008 by Harvey Two-Face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 I think I get it now. METAL RABBIT! I NEED HELP! IT'S HANZ AGAIN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robo Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead.' Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mufasa Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 O_o The hell? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say “Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 @Lyle: I've seen this happen before. Hanz starts throwing in random quotes instead of writing posts. Last time, me and Metal Rabbit tried to take care of him until he was sane again. Didn't work so well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me, and since I don't have a butler I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill, then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again, then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's a perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That's it, I don't see what's so hard to believe about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robo Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Thank God. It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a 9-bedroom farmhouse. I have my own crossbow range. It’s the perfect situation for me. Although the two bathrooms would have been nice. We just have the one... and it's under the porch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Oh no.... both Hanz and Robo this time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 (edited) Double post wth? Edited August 9, 2008 by Kiryn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robo Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? Not only the years we've been at war – the war of work – but from the moment as a child, when we realize that the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle a never-ending fight, I say to you and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! Salesmen of Northeastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself! Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesman – and women – of the world... unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uguu Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 @Lyle: I've seen this happen before. Hanz starts throwing in random quotes instead of writing posts. Last time, me and Metal Rabbit tried to take care of him until he was sane again. Didn't work so well. Mn, I remember that. It seems as if Hanz sneezed on Robo and gave him the "cold" though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Guess where I am going? I'll give you a hint: It is a booze-fueled sex romp where anything goes. You are correct, sir! I'm headed to Philadelphia for the Annual Northeastern Mid-market Office Supply Convention! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robo Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran. Killed twenty men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father...battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 I don't understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn't even work here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 This is bad... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robo Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections...there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from that old bread factory... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Sometimes what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady. Although that'll change. Because, by the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Oh no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robo Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four, and I was great and I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly...she's not yo' ho no mo'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robo Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it. Feed it, care for it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I am going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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