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Fire Emblem 9

HOLY CRAP this is terrible, it's turn based which immediately makes it gay, plus there are Cutscenes and dialogue and shit!!!

None of the people in this game are badass and or swear so that is lame and there is an actual story I mean who plays for the story!!! and then the graphics are so bad, the fighting doesn't have any blood and people use SWORD, where the duce are the GUNS!!!!!

I swear people should go play Call of Duty right now...

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Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones is a piece of shit. This game does absolutely NOTHING to improve or innovate the action-adventure genre of gaming. THe combat system is horrible with a steep leaving curve that would turn away novice players. The music was composed by some special needs retarded child bashing his head on a outdated 1985 Casio MIDI keyboard.

There is no character development. The Prince does not mature or become grown and instead, whine and bitch like an angsty teenager.

Final Score: 0/10

Written By: Tommy Tallarico

Edited by Snow_Storm
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Halo

HOLY CRAP this is terrible, it's an FPS but it's futuristic which makes it gay, plus there are Cutscenes and dialogue and shit!!!

None of the people in this game are badass and there aren't any hookers!!!! which is lame and there is an actual story I mean who plays for the story!!! the the graphics aren't so bad but it's futuristic so REALLY gay, the fighting has blood but it's lame and blue and the guns are all lame, where the duce are the AK47s!!!!!

I swear people should go play Call of Duty right now...

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Valkyrie Profile

Geez, avoid this rotten turkey at all costs.

Not only do you get to fight nord mythological beasts, but Lord Odin also gives you(Valkyrie) the task to hunt down souls of the fallen warriors for a fight against the impending war between Aesir and Vanir.

How lame can it get? I mean, gods desperate to find help from humans for the war? lol

The combat system is alright, its turnedbased, but the battles get to repetitive and easy, something that makes you wish you were instead at the park with your gal^^

(I love that game)

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FE 10:

WTF. THIS GAME SUCKS FOR ONE REASON, ITS HARD! WHY SHOULD WE PLAY A GAME WHERE WE HAVE TO THINK? WHERE'S THE KILL BUTTON DAMMIT!? PHUCK THIS PIECE OF SHIT. TO MAKE IT WORSE, THERES A GIRL AS A MAIN CHARACTER AND SHE USES FUCKING MAGIC. MAGIC IS FOR PUSSIES! WHERE'S THE SWORDS!? I SEE SOME PPL FROM FE 9 BUT THERE'S NO IKE! WHY ISNT IKE IN THE GAME!?!?!?(im saying as if the reviewer quit before the end of part 2)

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FE7:

I say that this is the worst Fire Emblem. So bad, that I couldn't play it. How do you people enjoy it? The storyline is crap, the music is crap, and everything is decided by what weapon you use. It's filled with hax and if a character gets unlucky, and there's no way to prevent it, you have to redo the entire level. Furthermore, everyone's stats are absolutely puny. Most are around 10 or under. And the thing that REALLY made it so that I couldn't play is that chracters move 4-5 spaces, and there's stuff everywhere to make that number even smaller. All of the numbers are insanely low, stats stay under 10 for a LONG time, characters can only move 3-5 spaces per turn, there are almost no weapons, there are no skills, etc. etc.

FE7 was a piece of shit and I can't play it at all.

0/10

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FE7:

I say that this is the worst Fire Emblem. So bad, that I couldn't play it. How do you people enjoy it? The storyline is crap, the music is crap, and everything is decided by what weapon you use. It's filled with hax and if a character gets unlucky, and there's no way to prevent it, you have to redo the entire level. Furthermore, everyone's stats are absolutely puny. Most are around 10 or under. And the thing that REALLY made it so that I couldn't play is that chracters move 4-5 spaces, and there's stuff everywhere to make that number even smaller. All of the numbers are insanely low, stats stay under 10 for a LONG time, characters can only move 3-5 spaces per turn, there are almost no weapons, there are no skills, etc. etc.

FE7 was a piece of shit and I can't play it at all.

0/10

:P lookie at whut i did XD

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Dead or Alive 3:

Man, fuck that stupid ass piece of shit game! All that fuckin' game is about is a bunch of jailbait girls fuckin' fightin' each other for some fuckin' reason. You got this ninja bitch name Ayane fuckin' cryin' cause nobody fuckin' likes her and her father is batshit nuts.

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Sonic Adventure

WTF is this shit? Sonic in 3D? Bollocks. 2D owns us all. Im running through a level and all im doing is holding up and jumping sometimes, its totally fucking shit. Dont buy this game, even if you are a hardcore sonic shagger, cos its a waste of money and stuff. buy shadow the hedgehog instead because it has big guns and rocketlaunchers and loads of explosions and emoness. Unlike this pile of shit.

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The Windwaker

This game totally sucks. All you do is sail the seas in search of unexplored islands. You get to kill off a few stupid looking enemies and you get a purse, which you get to fill with rupees, whatever the hell those are.

I say keep away from this piece of trash. Instead of roaming the endless sea, you are better off going to your nearest mall and spend the time there.

Rating: 1 rupee. ^^

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Gladius

This game was said to be one of the best, but it turned out to be quite a disappointment.

You run a school of gladiators who have little knowledge about what they are setting out to do. The combat sux, it is turned based but it takes too long. And the damn computer gangs on your weakest gladiators, most of the time killing them. You get little points for buying new moves, skills, etc, and it takes quite a long time to level up. When you are in the last parts of the game, you lose your best character, as he goes to the bad side.

"For Munio!!!" This game sux, you are better off buying a toy sword and engaging with your friends via yard combat. ^^

Score: *Sticks out tongue in ridiculing way*

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Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Oh dear lord, spare us from such crap games in the future. For one thing, it features that emo bishie Alucard. Why can't we have a real man like Richter?! This game sucks so much. Alucard is so girly, he can't even run properly. AND WTF THERE ARE NO WHIPS IN THIS GAME WTF OMG WTF. I hate Alucard. I don't want such bishie emo shit in my game. And the soundtrack is a big clump of poo. It's made for sissies who like classic music, instead of real men who listen to rock. And WTF is up with the castle, man?! I don't even know where I should go! I'm so confused! The castle is so big! Overall, this game is a piece of shit that brings shame to the Castlevania series. I hate it so much that I gave it to my little brother, and he'll eventually break it anyway.

0/10. Don't touch this piece of shit even with a stick.

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Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Oh dear lord, spare us from such crap games in the future. For one thing, it features that emo bishie Alucard. Why can't we have a real man like Richter?! This game sucks so much. Alucard is so girly, he can't even run properly. AND WTF THERE ARE NO WHIPS IN THIS GAME WTF OMG WTF. I hate Alucard. I don't want such bishie emo shit in my game. And the soundtrack is a big clump of poo. It's made for sissies who like classic music, instead of real men who listen to rock. And WTF is up with the castle, man?! I don't even know where I should go! I'm so confused! The castle is so big! Overall, this game is a piece of shit that brings shame to the Castlevania series. I hate it so much that I gave it to my little brother, and he'll eventually break it anyway.

0/10. Don't touch this piece of shit even with a stick.

AWESOME Loves tales too much to rant

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