Serenes Forest: The Sitcom

[Metal Rabbit]

silly dude, i don't have a mind, remember?

[CGV]

it slipped his mind that you have no mind. but how did you remind him you have no mind, if you have no mind? *spins around in confusion and falls over*

[Florete]

NOW I get it.

[uguu]

silly dude, i don't have a mind, remember?

If you don't have a mind then you can't have sex because you don't know how to. :o

[CGV]

If you don't have a mind then you can't have sex because you don't know how to. :o

who said he has to do some of the work?

[Metal Rabbit]

I dont have sex anyway douchebag :D

[CGV]

i find that hard to not believe....

i need another episode....

[Metal Rabbit]

i'm writing another one. its not as long though.

you'd enjoy it CGV.

[CGV]

sweet... give me someone thing good

[Metal Rabbit]

funny you say that ._.

lolz

[Metal Rabbit]

Here's one featuring our jackass fearless leader, CGV!

\\\\

(???)

CGV: Micaiah! What are you doing here? We were just about to start the march.

Micaiah: CGV! You can't leave your queen!

CGV: You're right. I should stay here and hit that.

Fox: Wake up idiot!

CGV: Hey, what are you doing in my fantasy? I already killed you.

Fox: It's morning! You gotta cook breakfast!

(he wakes up)

Fox: It's your turn to make breakfast.

CGV: Don't I have an alarm clock?

Fox: You DID. Metal Rabbit stole it and flung it into a river cuz he thought it was possessed.

CGV: ugh...

*he gets up*

\\\\

(Kitchen)

CGV: (It's like noone appreciates me at all. I mean, I'm their leader and they don't even show me respect.)

*breaks eggs*

Zephrion: Eggs again? You wanna give us high blood pressure?

Kiryn: I bought some fruitloaf yesterday. I want that.

Metal Rabbit: I have Post partum depression! :D

Kiryn: You're not a woman.

Metal Rabbit: ._.

CGV: What the fuck is a fruitloaf?

Zephrion: It's some bread that tastes like fruit and dreams. It's kind of a fad.

Kiryn: It's not just a fad, it's a way of life ._.

Fireman: Get your fruitloaf here!

Metal Rabbit: I'll take 2!

*buys*

CGV: But I'm making breakfast!!!

Kiryn: Oh well.

*they leave*

CGV: Fine! I'm not cooking anything then!

Fox: The hell you aren't! It's your turn!

CGV: But they're all having fruit cake!

Fox: It's called fruiloaf. Get with the times. Make me some.

CGV: But you can just get it from Fireman.

Fox: I don't wanna.

*cgv makes fruitloaf*

Fox: *eats* It's burnt. Take it back.

CGV: ...

Fox: *leaves*

CGV: I'm not fucking putting up with this anymore.

*throws down apron, mits and funny cook hat*

\\\\

(Outside)

CGV: I can't believe them!

Vincent: Your anger is giving me wrinkles.

CGV: Pardon me Mr. Clean.

Vincent: What's wrong with you?

CGV: Noone is showing me respect.

Vincent: Maybe you need to take a break and go do some things on your own.

CGV: I guess you're right. Thanks big brother!

*leaves*

Vincent: Stop calling me that!

\\\\

(Swim club)

CGV: Haven't been swimming in a long time...

*goes off diving board*

Lifeguard: Hey there handsome.

CGV: What's up bitty?

Lifeguard: You look like you can swim. Mind helping me with the little ones over there?

CGV: Sure.

\\\\

Lifeguard: Okay, our friend Mr. Vaters is going to demonstrate how NOT to breath.

CGV: ...is that all?

Lifeguard: Yep. Remember though, you're not allowed to open your mouth or else you'll drown.

CGV: Mkay.

*holds breath*

Lifeguard: Alright girls, now take deep breaths.

*one of the girls touches CGV's crotch*

CGV: Hey!

Lifeguard: No talking, remember?

CGV: But!

Lifeguard: Shh!!!

*The girl's rubbing him*

CGV: o_o

(Half hour later)

Lifeguard: Alright, class is over! Go home!

CGV: (That little girl jerked me off!!! o_o)

So what are you doing later?

Lifeguard: I'm going to dinner with my boyfriend, and afterward invite him back to my place.

See ya!

CGV: o_o

*that little girl comes back and stares at him while eating a fruitloaf*

CGV: -_-

\\\\

(Restaurant)

CGV: Check plz.

Waiter: Would you like some fruitloaf while you wait?

CGV: No thanks.

*sigh*

???: What's wrong stranger?

CGV: Noone respects me anymore. Not my friends, nor random people at the pool.

???: That's tough. I'm kinda in the same situation.

CGV: How's that?

???: I dance for old men who try to pinch my ass and stuff gold coins in my top.

CGV: Ah, you're a dancer. CGV.

*holds out hand*

???: Angel.

*shakes*

CGV: But you seem nice.

Angel: And you don't come off like a jerk. I can't tell you how many of my former boyfriends were jerks.

CGV: All of them?

Angel: You're psychic[/sarcasm]

CGV: Hey, be nice. I'll buy you a drink.

*feels no wallet*

Angel: I know that look. You don't have anything, do you?

CGV: I forgot I was gonna skip paying tonite.

Angel: I'm on in 5 minutes, but hows about you and I get the hell out of here?

CGV: That sounds awesome. ! Get down, the waiters coming.

*they hide*

Waiter: ...not again...

*goes back*

\\\\

(outside, in the streets of sienne)

CGV: It's starting to rain.

Angel: So?

CGV: You don't wanna get wet, do ya?

Angel: Maybe I do, maybe I don't.

CGV: You're a little wierd. I like that.

*she laughs a bit*

Angel: ...listen, i'm sorry but I gotta go.

*she runs*

CGV: ...she left her scarf.

*he runs after her*

\\\\

Big dude: Where's my money?

Angel: I-I don't have it...

Big dude: Big mistake!

*he raises his fist*

CGV: Hold it jackass!

Angel: CGV? Stay back!

CGV: I can take him.

Big dude: I'm twice your size.

CGV: I'm twice your skill!

*draws blade and lunges*

*the big guy sidesteps and pushes him down*

CGV: Dammit!

*the big guy cold-cocks him*

CGV: uh...

*blacks out*

\\\\

CGV: (What's the use? Why should I even bother on with this life? Would it make a difference if I died here?)

Probably not...

Voice: You're a pussy.

CGV: Huh? Who's there?

Voice: You're better than this. You can't just take this lying down.

CGV: Who're you to judge? You're just a voice.

Voice: I'm a voice of someone telling you not to give up.

CGV: Easy for you to say.

Voice: You don't get it... do you realise how lost your friends would be without you?

CGV: They might be better off.

Voice: Nope. They depend on you to make the hard decisions. They do respect you.

CGV: ...

Voice: Besides, if you give up now then you can't save angel and get laid.

CGV: ._.

Voice: Wake up... CGV.

\\\\

(alley, its still raining)

Big dude: You're just not a money maker Angel. Sorry.

Angel: Plz don't kill me...

Big dude: It's out of my hands.

*blade flashes and his head falls off*

Angel: !

CGV: That's no way to get ahead in life.

Angel: You stole that from Austin Powers.

CGV: ._.

Angel: Anyway... I'm sorry I got you into this.

CGV: It's no problem bitty.

Angel: I can't stay in Begnion. I'm not safe here...

CGV: You can come back with me to the forest.

Angel: ...I can't. But I still wanna thank you.

CGV: It's my job to protect people who need it.

Angel: ...I know what you want.

*she gets on her knees and unzips his pants*

CGV: O_O

\\\\

(Outside the mercenary base, next morning)

(The team is fighting off an army of Hika clones)

Fox: You gotta aim for the horn!

Hika: lolz, i have no horn.

*fox kicks him in the crotch*

Fox: Now you don't! :P

Kiryn: There's too many of them!

Zephrion: *pant* We cant tell which one is the real one.

Hika: Ha ha!

Metal Rabbit: I see him! *fires*

Zephrion: OWW! WTF is wrong with you?!

Metal Rabbit: It was Kiryn ._.

Kiryn: Don't you pin that on me!

Fox: Shutup all of you! I'm trying to think!

Hika: Ha! *raises tomahawk*

GRKK!!

*there's a blade sticking through him*

*all the clones disappear*

Hika: Dammit...

*collapses*

Fox: What?

CGV: ...all of you inside NAO!

*everyone does it*

Fox: Hey, I'm sorry I went off on you yesterday.

CGV: It's okay.

Fox: I found you're alarm clock.

CGV: Thnx. What's for breakfast?

Fox: Fruitloaf

*leaves*

CGV: ...

\\\\

end.

side note: Metal Rabbit wasn't imagining things, that clock is possessed. We'll go more into that in another episode though.

[uguu]

You're a bitch Metal Rabbit.

[Metal Rabbit]

you may wanna rethink that

[uguu]

Dying is worse than not being in it. You could at least give me one line saying "crap he's too strong" or something, but NO you had to make me DIE. You're a bitchy dastard, y'know that?

[Metal Rabbit]

silly hika, you never die.

no matter how much we joke with you, you're still a great supporting character.

[uguu]

I DEMAND A BIGGER ROLE! I want a role AT LEAST as big as Kiryn's.

[Metal Rabbit]

...you have to get a unanimous vote from all the regulars:

Me, Zeph, Fireman, Fox, Kiryn and CGV

[Florete]

I will give Hika a bigger role in my next epic episode. And goob job, metal rabbit.

[Liz]

you know what, bianchi will write an episode just for kicks!!!!!!!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-*coughcough*-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[CGV]

yeah i'll give hika a roll soon. GREAT episode btw. My fave

[uguu]

Yayz! Fourth Fox, CGV, you're awesome! In fact, CGV, you're replacing Metal Rabbit as being godly!

[CGV]

At the base...

Coolguyvaters: ok guys, were gonna be facing our toughest enemy yet. He's so tough, no one even knows his name

Fourth Fox: oooooh, sounds like a challenge

Zephrion: Sweet, what's his class?

Coolguyvaters: he's a sentinal, a very strong sentinal

Hikarusa: Well well, my axe vs. his lance? This should be interesting...

Coolguyvaters: don't get too cocky Hikarusa, we don't know exactly what we're up against. The weapon triangle might not be enough

Metal Rabbit: what's a triangle?

Fourth Fox: true, this guy seems pretty mysterious to me

Fireman: *out of nowhere, as usual* more mysterious than me?

Everyone: AAAH!

Coolguyvaters: dammit fireman! stop doing that! and yes, he IS more mysterious than you

Fireman: hmmm, looks like I've got competition

Zephrion: that's a pretty quiet competition...

Hikarusa: cmon, enough talk! Let's kill this bastard!

Fourth Fox: hold on there Hika, we should plan this out some. We can't just rush in there and kill him

Hikarusa: grrrrr....

Metal Rabbit: How come Coolguyvaters hasn't been by a tornado yet?

Coolguyvaters: oh yeah that's- aaaahhhhhh!

Zephrion: there we go!

Kiryn: hahahaha!

Fireman: whoa Kiryn, even you surprised me. How long have you been there?

Kiryn: I've been here the whole time....

Fireman: oh...

Coolguyvaters: Zephrion, how should approach this

Zephrion: well the enemy has thought this one out. And since this sentinal is more mysterious than fireman, he can't lethalitize him

Fireman: I'll find a way... *runs off*

Fourth Fox: Let's try and focus here, the enemy has an army surrounding the throne, with general, paladins, wyvern knight for they sky, ballistas and a leader more mysterious than fireman. We should-

Hikarusa: take out the ballistas and i'll barge right through the army and kill the sentinal! Let's do it!

Coolguyvaters: No, hikarusa! we wont be able to do it, the army is too strong! you're tactic wont work

Hikarusa: grrr.... them and their "strategies"....

Kiryn: If you guys can take out the ballistas, I can clear the skies. (talking to Hika) You can take out the generals cuz they're slow. (talking to Coolguyvaters) When he's done, you'll have your chance to get in there

Metal Rabbit: Thats what SHE said!

Kiryn: *smacks MR*

Ilyana: Hey! I thought it was funny!

Kiryn: *smacks Ilyana*

Fourth Fox: ok, if were all done with the sex jokes, let's move out!

Coolguyvaters: did you just say "if were all done with the sex jokes"?

Fourth Fox: yeah, why?

Zephrion: We'll be stuck here for eternity if we only move out when the sex jokes stop happening

Hikarusa: Damn right we would be

Coolguyvaters: Hika, you're the one who loves hearing those jokes

Hikarusa: I know...

Kiryn: Let's go everyone!

Everyone: Charge!!!!

*Back at the base*

Metal Rabbit: oh my head *looks around*. Oh, they left without us!

Ilyana: ugh... huh, they did?

Metal Rabbit: looks like it's just you and me... alone...

Ilyana: Metal Rabbit... why are you looking at me like that?

Metal Rabbit: cmon, no ones around...

Fireman: (to himself) almost forgot my weapons. Ok, I'm ready to-.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! *gets the hell out of there*

Ilyana: was that Fireman?

Metal Rabbit: i think so

Ilyana: why was he freaking out so much? We were just hugging, weren't we?

Metal Rabbit: hugging... yeah... of course we were >_>

Ilyana: well then why was he so... Metal Rabbit! are those MY undies!!!

Metal Rabbit: ....uhhhhhh, no?

Ilyana: *smacks MR and knocks him unconscious*

*on the battlefield*

Coolguyvaters: well these enemies aren't too had to beat *slice* this is easier than I thought *slice slice*

Fourth Fox: I dunno, something doesn't feel right... *Elfires a ballista*

Zephrion: what do ya mean *tornadoes a general*

Fourth Fox: this guy is very mysterious. Why would he makes it easy for us to appraoch him?

Coolguyvaters: good point, but hell, I'm too busy busting heads *slice*. But there sure are a lot more heads to bust than i thought

*in the sky*

Kiryn: ok Hika, the skys are clear! Let's go!

Hikarusa: hmmm.... something's not right, you go on ahead

Kiryn: huh? aren't you the one who wanted to kill back at the base?

Hikarusa: no, I wanted to kill the sentinal, but something doesn't seem right. There's so may enemies, but they're so weak, yet he's so powerful. I don't get it...

Kiryn: whatever, I need the practice anyway. see ya! *leaves*

Hikarusa: what could it be... wait a minute... oh my god! THAT'S IT! KIRYN, WAIT!

*on the ground*

Coolguyvaters: This kicks ass! we should have no problem killing the sentinal now!

Zephrion: yeah we're golden! you still worried now, Fox?

Fourth Fox: yeah, something still doesn't seem right... i'll check if anyone is hurt *holds up physic staff and it glows*

Coolguyvaters: why is glowing? no one is hurt...

Kiryn: COOLGUYVATERS!!!! It's fireman!!!!

Coolguyvaters: Fireman? where is he? *looks at the boss and the boss is holding fireman with his own peshkatz to his neck* noooo!

Sentinal: Stop right there! one more move and I'll kill your "fireman"

Zephrion: shit!

Fourth Fox: I KNEW something was wrong! DAMMIT!

Kiryn: coolguyvaters, what do we do?

Coolguyvaters: i dont know... someone needs to charge him. Zephrion, Fourth Fox, use your magic to wound him

Zephrion: i cant, i'm too tired from all those enemies...

Fourth Fox: me too... damn it! that's it! he used so many pawns.... so we would use all our strength on them.... and couldn't fight him as well as we expected!

Sentinal: haha! that's right. Now that you know, I guess I should kill this fireman cuz it looks like you don't need him anymore

Everyone: NOOOO!!!!

Sentinal: see ya firem- *gets criticaled by a tomohawk and dies* ugh....

Fireman: oh my god, i've never been so scared in my life...

Coolguyvaters: FIREMAN! you're ok?.... what happened?

Hikarusa: told you that you guys would kill the army and I'd barge through and kill the sentinal

Everyone: Hikarusa!!!!

Zephrion: no way! how did you.... have the strength to do that....

Hikarusa: I knew what he was planning, so I saved my strength and waited till I had a good shot and took him out

Coolguyvaters: well i'll admit... that was pretty clever of you...

Hikarusa: why thank you, now let's all go back to the base...

Fourth Fox: I'm all for that

*back at the base*

Zephrion: that was a close one... Ilyana, why are your panties in MR's mouth?

Ilyana: huh? oh whoops, i forgot he had them. *looks around* hey, NOTHING happened, alright!

Coolguyvaters: *softly* yeah like I believe that....

Hikarusa: before he wakes up though...

*MR wakes up*

Metal Rabbit: oh man... what the-

Hikarusa: nice panties MR! HAHA!

Metal Rabbit: huh? *looks down* you put Ilyana's panties on me?! where are my clothes?

Hikarusa: In forest, where I burned it down...

and there ya go....

[uguu]

Lawlz, pretty great. And yayz! I'm important, not dead, AND not Bianchi's slave! That was pretty cool.

[Florete]

It's Sentinel. Other than that, it was....ok.

[Zephrion]

Good episodes MR and CGV. And if it makes any difference at this point, I vote for giving a Hika a role "At least as important as Kiryn's."

I'll write another episode...sometime.