Yrrep's Employment

[Kintenbo]

This is basically a story I made for English when we had to make short stories. It's weird, but don't worry, I never took an illegal drug in my life.

On the Planet Lolewut, normally things that can't move are very much mobile. Vegetables, fruits, and even rocks (but there aren't any rocks in this story) roam this land. Not a single human roams this planet. However, there is racism on this planet. Bowls of spinach are regarded as the most inferior species on this planet. Yrrep, a highly intellegent bowl of spinach, has graduated college with mulitiple honors and many other scholorships. This is unusual for a bowl of spinach. You'd think that he'd easily get a job, but racism is about to get to him. Let's look at his first attempt.....

"As you can see, my plan will surely improve Hairy Hair Creations' production rate ten fold", said Yrrep to the manager of Hairy Hair Creations.

"Ha, so what? Do you think that would make me hire a stupid bowl of spinach like you? You got to be kidding me! Get out of my building, NOW!!!!" said the manager, a very rude clump of hair. Yes, hair is alive on this planet.

Exiting the building, Yrrep realized that racism will be a problem. Throughout his childhood, he has always be lucky. Sure, he has seen fellow bowls of spinach get tormented and picked on, but his performance at school had always kept him safe. He realized that he had a problem, so he decided to start the process of overcoming it.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" screamed Yrrep at the top of his lungs. He always screams when he begins to solve a problem.

Oddly enough, his scream caused his girlfriend, a bowl of salad named Sal, to run straight toward him. You see, bowls of salad are usually depressive sceptics, but Sal is different. She is cheerful and cares nothing about racial differences, hence being Yrrep's girlfriend. Others are baffled at her ways.

"What's wrong?" asked Sal.

"Oh, I tried to get a job, but it seems racism is getting to me" answered Yrrep.

"Don't worry, you'll make it!" said Sal cheerfuly.

Just then, Yrrep's mortal enemy showed up.

"Hahahaha! I heard you failed to get a job at Hairy Hair Creations! I told the manager about you, so I knew you wouldn't make it! Hahahahaha!!!" yelled Karg, he always yells when he speaks.

"Gee, just the guy I need to see. Ever since I beat you at an eating contest, you hated my guts forever" said Yrrep.

You see, Karg and Yrrep go way back. One time at a school eating contest, Yrrep beat Karg by a long shot. Karg was furious to lose out to a bowl of spinach. Also, he has a nasty temper. The odd thing is, he's a popsicle, normally the friendliest creature on the planet. He's even oranged flavored. However, his name is short for Kargonoxiusrama, which is Lolewutian for "angry, bitter one". He decided to go against his species' ways and live up to his name.

"I'm getting bored with the narator rambling, so I'll stop messing with you and come up with a new plan", said Karg.

"That Karg sure is mean! Say, Yrrep, doesn't your friend Lag know a lot about jobs?" asked Sal.

"Oh yeah, now that you mention it. I'll go ask him now" aswered Yrrep.

Yrrep took a phone and called Lag. To his surprise, Lag answered right away. Lag is a kiwi, which means he's very, very slow.

"Hello there, who is it that speaketh to me?" asked Lag.

"Hi, it's me Yrrep! I need help looking for a job. Can you come meet me?" asked Yrrep.

"Alas, you have forgotten the burden of being a kiwi. Doest thou remember the curse of being slow? I cannot come hither, since it will take days, nigh, even weeks to get out of my own house" said Lag.

"Oops, sorry, I saw Karg today. That guy always makes my brain jumbly", said Yrrep.

"Anyway, I believe I know of a job that would hire you. As of late, people have discovered that bowls of spinach such as yourself make excellent candy. A fellow bowl of spinach has opened a job. He is in the west side of the city! Surely he shall hire you!" said Lag.

"Thank you! I'll go there right away! Bye!" said Yrrep, super excited.

"Farewell, may the best happen" said Lag, hanging up the phone.

"I'm guessing he knows a good job." said Sal

"Yep, and I'm guaranteed to be hired!" said Yrrep.

So Yrrep quickly ran to the west side of his city. He soon found a giant building called "Spinach Candy Wonderland". This was one impressive building, considering it's being run by a bowl of spinach. Yrrep looked around and found the manager, an elderly old spinach.

"Why hello there, youngin', I heard all about you. You're that Yrrep feller, a truely intellegent young scrapper. I suppose you're wanting a job." said the manager.

"Of course!" exclaimed Yrrep.

"Well, I'm not going to hesitate giving it to you. This is a fairly new business, and we need more employees" said the manager.

"YES! You won't regret this!" Yrrep was clearly excited.

As Yrrep left the building, he did not waste time telling Sal the good news.

"I knew you could do it!" exclaimed Sal.

Just then, Karg showed up.

"No way! There's no way you could get a job! How could a bowl of spinach even run a business!" yelled the flustered popsicle.

"I'm guessing you never heard of spinach candy. It's taking the world by storm!" exclaimed Yrrep.

"I'm going to go cut myself", said Karg.

Thus, in the end, Yrrep got a job, Sal decided to go make some cookies, Lag got a warping machine, and Karg went emo. They all lived happily, or in Karg's case, sorrowfully, ever after. Too bad Lolewut was invaded by Roflwettcia 3 weeks later, but I doubt anyone cares about that.

[Knife]

Are you sure it's not a result of being high?

[Kintenbo]

Are you sure it's not a result of being high?

Meh, I probably was naturally high, but definately not the result of drugs. I doubt Claritin D (the alergy pill I use) gets people high.

Edited November 7, 2008 by Kintenbo